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romantic vs sexual fanticies?


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#1 Kinkly

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 08:07 AM

I think i'm asexual but I have strange fanticies that I see as romantic but some may see as sexual. I'd like to know how to tell the differance between romantic and sexual fanticies. This realy confuses me

#2 metalgirl2045

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 09:09 AM

Romantic fantasy: Fantasising about spending quality time with the person, maybe getting married and having children.

Sexual fantasy: What sexual acts I would like to do to them.

Kissing and cuddling I would personally place in a rather grey area. I associate them with sex rather a lot but most asexuals don't seem to.

#3 Kinkly

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 10:02 AM

It's the grey area that I'm unsure of I supose I doubt that its more sexual then mouth to mouth kissing but is more then frienly hugs one of the terms for sex (when people don't wont to say 'sex') does if taken literaly describes my fanticy if we are both doing that)

#4 Blueflare

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 03:39 PM

I wouldn't consider hugging and kissing someone a sexual fantasy, personally.

But it is a bit of a grey area.

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#5 CBC.Radio.Girl

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 03:55 PM

I would definitely put kissing/hugging/cuddling in a sort of grey area. For the same person, it would be different depending on who they were hugging, kissing, etc. Obviously there are the kind of hugs and kisses that a person would give to family or friends and then there are instances where it might be quite sexual [probably kissing more so than hugging, though]. I think a person would have to sort out how they feel about another individual before they could really assess whether those sort of interactions were of a sexual nature.
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#6 ryan10242

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 07:48 PM

Where hugging and kissing is placed depends on how comfortable you are with it. I agree with the above posters that it is somewhat of a grey area. People have different ideas of intimacy. Personally, I would put hugging and kissing in romantic, not perticuarly sexual. Good question.
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#7 kt8

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 09:03 AM

Sexual fantasies - anything that has the feeling of physical arousal or excitement.

Romantic - something that connects on a deeper level.
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#8 niku-bot

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 09:16 AM

I've... never had a sexual fantasy before. How about that.
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#9 Anynamewilldo

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 08:41 PM

I would say a sexual fantasy is playing out in your mind a sexual act with that person, visualising, thinking about what the sexual act will bring - imagining the orgasm is what I mean by that.

When I'm having what I'd term as romantic fantasies, I'm imagining what it would be like to walk hand in hand with the person, what it would feel like to have their arms around me and mine around them, have them kiss me on the forehead, maybe think about them looking me in the eye when we're with lots of other people, touch my face, kiss my hand, my cheek.

Not sure about mouth to mouth kissing, especially with tongues - prob term that sexual but from what I've read, some asexuals like doing that so I guess for them, that would not be a sexual fantasy.

#10 metalgirl2045

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 09:54 PM

Most sexual fantasies I've had don't involve orgasm.

#11 Blueflare

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Posted 08 January 2009 - 11:56 PM

Hugging and kissing is just the begining of a sexual fantasy.


Whereas hugging and kissing is likely to be the end/"climax" of a romantic fantasy.



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#12 silentdreamer

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 01:03 AM

I think it's different for everyone. You just have to decide what feels sexual to you and what doesn't. Hugging and kissing and holding hands is what I consider romantic as long as it didn't lead to anything else. But other than just physical touching, my idea of romance (and the most important part to me) involves talking, laughing, and enjoying the other person's company.

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#13 Kinkly

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 04:06 AM

So being accepted for being weird with a hug and kiss on cheak :wub:
take the next thoughts lituraly not figritivly
getting into her painties while she is getting into mine
sleaping with (alongside) someone

are they sexual, romantic or just weird :wacko:

#14 niku-bot

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 05:14 AM

getting into her painties while she is getting into mine

Do you mean wearing each other's undies? Some people get a kick out of it, but if it doesn't arouse you or anything, I can't see it as sexual.
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#15 Shrine Maiden

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 06:44 AM

Hugging and kissing is just the begining of a sexual fantasy.


Whereas hugging and kissing is likely to be the end/"climax" of a romantic fantasy.



I had this epiphany in the pub, so it may be wrong.



I say this one nails it.
I guess if such asexual fantasies were real-life movies, sexuals would be demanding their money back at the end, feeling they were cheated of the "action".

#16 metalgirl2045

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 10:00 AM

Agreed with Blueflare too.




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