Incredibly Ace Moments

[Autumn Season]

While on my way home I looked at a garden. There I saw a statue with two white birds. That's totally normal, a lot of people put bird-figures between their bushes and flowers. But in this case it was a male and female bird. How did I know that? One of them wore a red, dotted bra, the other wore sunglasses and peeked at the bra-bird's décolleté.

...

...

*sigh*

[Pengwyn]

So a bit of background info, my school has recently changed the uniform and sixth form now need to wear business suits.

I was out with my friend yesterday, we passed a guy in a suit and had the following conversation.

Her: I hope the boys look like that on Monday

Me: Like what?

Her: Like that guy we just passed. Did you not see him.

Me: Oh... Yeah... I did

Her: I swear you're a lesbian

Me: ... *changes topic*

Just because I'm not sexually attracted to guys doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to girls.

[Autumn Season]

Just because I'm not sexually attracted to guys doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to girls.

Exactly! Thx! xD Once, before I knew I was asexual, I tried telling my friends that I am not interested in the guy I was dating on more than a platonic level. That kissing him didn't feel like anything special. And they asked me whether I ever tried kissing a girl. Just... no! I didn't say I liked girls, I said I wasn't interested in this guy and maybe guys in general. That's different! Now that I outed myself as an ace though they are very accepting.

[nerdperson777]

More roleplaying adventures with my friend. In one scenario of this series, my character falls in love with her character. We were looking at Youtube on her computer. In the related videos, she looked at one and said that scene was the most important scene in the story. When I looked at the title, it was [my character] kisses [her character]. Even after watching that, I didn't remember watching it. Leave it to the aro ace to not remember the kissing scene at all. Also it wasn't explicitly shown. But at the end of the day, I built up the courage to give her a hug. It was done in the video too, but I mean it so much differently.

[- - -]

oh wow...

about 10 years ago when i was with my "ex" he had this mug with a dog cleaning itself and there was something about being jelous or something. i never understood it so 1 day i asked him about it and he pointed out the dog was actually licking its bollocks and i was like eh but why would you want to do that??? EWWWWW WHY????

actually i prob learned most of the sex things from him, i must have looked like such a noob haha coz i genuinly never took an interest in these things, still dont...

[the bumbling rotifer]

During *cough* sexual activities last Friday:

Dude: "How are you finding this?"

Me: "Yeah, it's ok, it's... educational".

Dude: "Educational? Er, ok... Would you like to carry on?"

Me: *sighs and looks bored* "Yeah, naaaaaaah".

(That's an extremely experienced sexual dude getting owned by an asexual. Booya :D).

[freewill-gray]

An aquaintance of mine and my friends invited us to go drinking. We now him from the university, and he is a funny kind guy, so why not.

We were talking, laughing, i was really good, and he even brought me a drink. He was really kind.
And then, when my friends and I wanted to go home to our apartment, he insisted to go with us with a taxi. Ok.

But then he jocked about staying with us, and party more. I thought he was just talking shit, because that's how he is. He told us that now he can't go home, he don't know where we are.
Fine, when we got home I gave him a polyphoam, pillow and a blanket, and said good night to him. He slept in the floor in the corridor, cuz we didn't have a spare bed.

On the other day my friend told me that he wanted to sleep with me. I didn't believe her...

[Dodecahedron314]

Thinking back to 4 years ago...

At that time, I liked the song Party in the USA (not anymore). There was a line that said,"Welcome to the land of fame and sex," and I remember wondering why everyone got so freaked out, because I thought that sex meant a state of being male/female and I didn't know what was wrong with that. Only now do I realize what it actually meant, and it took me four years to realize it.

Wait... that's the line? I thought she said "fame excess..."

I always though it was "fame excess" too. This made me check it with lyric websites, and the first three I clicked on all said "fame excess"

Maybe you guys are right. I didn't really bother too much about the lyrics, just that the one I found led to my ace moment, which I didn't realize was one at that time. I didn't even know I was ace back then.

Same.

I thought it was either "fame excess" or "LAX" like the airport. It doesn't help that English is my second language either.

I thought it was "fame X X" and this was just some slang term I didn't know.

Though "fame express" would also work there...

Party in the CIA is a better song anyway.

So...am I the only one who thought she said "famous ex" like ex-boyfriend?

Why would an ex-boyfriend need a land all for himself, and why would she be there if he's her ex? :P

Well I thought it was just grammatically incorrect and she meant famous exes, and the land of famous exes would be Hollywood. Then again this was a 15 year old Miley Cyrus here. I wasn't looking for Hemingway in her lyrics.

I have a low opinion of Hemingway, but not that low.

[pack27]

We were playing Cards Against Humanity, and there were so many sex jokes that when I judged, I literally said, "I hate sex stuff. You will not win when I'm running this game!"

Also, meat and beef sandwich jokes are painfully lame. -__-

[cavyX]

Out with my very gay friend and she's going "Cavy those guys are waving at you!" I glance over and realise they are two of my waiters from work, so I go over to say hello and when I come back my friend goes "how did you miss them, I clocked them as soon as we walked in!" I was like, "eh? Are they attractive?" Guess I'm not paying attention.

[Autumn Season]

Reading an erotic novel for the cuddles and being happy when because of a plot twist the protagonists don't end up in bed together.

[Honey_Badger]

While on my way home I looked at a garden. There I saw a statue with two white birds. That's totally normal, a lot of people put bird-figures between their bushes and flowers. But in this case it was a male and female bird. How did I know that? One of them wore a red, dotted bra, the other wore sunglasses and peeked at the bra-bird's décolleté.

...

...

*sigh*

Oh, I thought they were like cardinals or something. So the boy would be very loud and bright red. :)

[EmilyKay]

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awfulStop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

[Autumn Season]

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awful Stop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

I'm "kinda bad". ^^ Though honestly, all of the possible answers looked bad, so it was a hard time choosing.

[deltaX]

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awful Stop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

I'm "kinda bad". ^^ Though honestly, all of the possibe answers looked bad, so it was a hard time choosing.

I also got Tremendously Bad. It is an ace moment that I'm happy with this? I'm always super nervous about giving off flirty signals that I didn't intend.

[Dodecahedron314]

We were playing Cards Against Humanity, and there were so many sex jokes that when I judged, I literally said, "I hate sex stuff. You will not win when I'm running this game!"

Also, meat and beef sandwich jokes are painfully lame. -__-

CAH was the reason I came out to most of my friends. Every time I judged, at least one person would say "This card would be hilarious here...but it's you, so I'll just use this other one instead."

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awful Stop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

Normally I wouldn't take one of the relationship-related ones, but I'm just doing this to laugh at how pathetically cringeworthy it's most likely going to be. And then get pulled into a black hole of completely unrelated quizzes because Buzzfeed quizzes are my shameful Internet kryptonite. The sacrifices I make for AVEN.

"Somebody tells you they think you're cute. What do you say?" Options: "Thanks" "I know" "You're cute too" "Lol, why u lyin?"

Why is there no option for "run away screaming and hide in the nearest bush"?

Anyway, I got the same rating as you, EmilyKay. This surprises no one.

[Autumn Season]

Me: Have you had any nice conversations on this site by now?

Other: Yeah, I've saved some of the photos on my PC.

Me: ... From your conversation partners? Why would you do that? (slightly creeped out)

Other: They looked good. Aren't you glad when the other person looks attractive?

Me: I honestly couldn't care less what the one I'm talking to looks like.

Other: ... [Changes topic]

[nerdperson777]

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awful Stop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

"If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine lives with you." It's not wrong! But I am a cat. (Birthname that I don't 100% hate)

I was talking to my friend the other day, something about going through puberty and types of attraction or something like that, and I think I might've summed up being an aro ace my entire life. "Nothing happened to me." Sure my body did some stuff to me that I didn't like, but I didn't really change how I saw people. They're...people. That's how I usually go about things.

[deltaX]

I was talking to my friend the other day, something about going through puberty and types of attraction or something like that, and I think I might've summed up being an aro ace my entire life. "Nothing happened to me." Sure my body did some stuff to me that I didn't like, but I didn't really change how I saw people. They're...people. That's how I usually go about things.

Pretty much my experience with puberty too. If my body didn't change and it was all just hormonal, I probably wouldn't even notice I'd been through puberty tbh.

[DannyFenton123]

Found the Playstation Harvest Moon disc in a box. You know, the very heteronormative farming game where you have to take time off building the most amazing chicken empire ever to give some flowers to girls and check their diaries to see if they love you?

I wasn't very good at it xD

[Wallflowerbaby13]

On Valentine's Day my senior year of high school, I wore a shirt that said "Happy Commercialized Pheromone Overactivity Day." (Yes, I made that shirt; the other years of high school, I went Goth on V-Day). I also call Valentine's Day "that day in February when sex is exchanged for chocolate and impossible-to-chew candy hearts."

Ha! I went goth on v-day in high school too! I think I called it "anti valentine"

[Wallflowerbaby13]

I've always been able to pretend to be fully sexual. I've always understood all the sex jokes, I've always been able to identify someone I "like", etc. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in movies but I definitely enjoy hot guys in movies. I know how sexuals are supposed to act. I'm just fairly certain I'm not one... it's very weird.

Yes! Just, completely, yes.

[Wallflowerbaby13]

And when we were given bananas and asked to put condoms on them, I just casually peeled and ate mine.

If I was a guy I totally would have done that

At my school all the gym/health classes do that in gr. 9, girls and guys. (Separate classes, but both genders do the condom on banana part.)

I feel robbed! I don't remember bananas as part of sex ed or how to use condoms at all. Which if I was sexually active would've been really good knowledge to have. I really don't remember much of sex ed in general though... but I feel like it was only aimed towards hetero vaginal sex. and Asexuality definitely never came up in school! Straight,gay,and bi were known, but most people didn't even understand the concept that gender and sex were two completely different things! Like banging your head into a brick wall over and over trying to explain this! Didn't help that even on the blood drive info form they asked what your gender was and then had two boxes labeled male and female! This coming from a place of medicine! At least now there is starting to be more in the news about gender fluidity and that most things are on a scale, not boxes. Like gender and sex and sexuality. Yay for this site!

[Autumn Season]

I don't know if this is an ace or an aro moment, but I am not aro, so... This is confusing.

I just watched a nice movie (Clouds of Sils Maria) which was about an actress and her friendship with her assistant or so I thought. After the end of the movie I read the summary and... Is this even the same film anymore? "In the rural solitude a romantic tension develops between the two women..." "In front of the beautiful setting of the Sils Maria mountains the aging actress Maria and the young, seductive Valentine rehearse for Mary's role." Romantic tension? Seductive assistant? What is even going on?! All the two ever did was taking walks together, having conversations and rehearsing. I don't even... Can I not trust my sense of reality anymore?

[Sisky]

Found the Playstation Harvest Moon disc in a box. You know, the very heteronormative farming game where you have to take time off building the most amazing chicken empire ever to give some flowers to girls and check their diaries to see if they love you?

I wasn't very good at it xD

I hope you were good at the chicken empire part xD

The newer 3DS games aren't quite that heteronormative anymore, you're still stuck with opposite sex relationships, but there's no gender restriction on hairstyles and clothes <3

[Darya-Kuryakin]

My parents had no real age-limit or censoring for the films they watched, and I sat through a lot when I was four and five (and younger...) that they won't even let my fourteen year old sister watch now. I've always loved double-meanings and words and language, so I can usually catch onto things quickly – but I have to understand it first.

The majority of the inapproriate things I know came from fanfiction. I was introduced to it in 2012 after watched Sherlock series 2, and it took me FOREVER to figure it out. I would reccommend stories to some of my friends at the time, and they couldn't believe I read them!! I wear long sleeves and high collars and long skirts and am rather prudish in today's society, and then I would read these apparently extremely inappropriate stories? I thought 'shagging' was making a shag carpet! Of course, I tend to read all stories that edge towards that as extremely close friendships (looking back, if I'd know that asexuality existed and that it wasn't having no gender, I would have identified much earlier.....), so the innuendos and whatnot went entirely over my head. Then there was a story where someone wrote an extremely blunt version of it, at which point I died because ICK!!!! Kissing??? Other...stuff???? and I read this???? EW!

So, through trial and error I figured out the lexicon for England. And then had the same problem with American English. *drops head on desk*

And then friends – must they always take the most innocent sentences and twist them?? Really???

[Darya-Kuryakin]

^ Oh my gosh! I never understood that myself until I read the comments on the video you linked to. Now I totally get the double entendre that they must have intended in Pushing Daisies. In one episode (I'm sure it was the first one, although I haven't watched it in a while) they mentioned that when Ned was younger, he got Chuck a T-Shirt that said "Be kind to animals: Kiss a Beaver" and I didn't really get it, but I never did get round to looking it up. Now it makes sense.

I too just went "Awww" when I first watched that advert and didn't know.

SERIOUSLY??? I mean, I didn't get the other one either (it still doesn't make sense, but then most don't.....), but I never connected it to that - and did you HAVE to ruin that???? *drops head on desk*

I am never watching that again......

[realm96]

I just took this Buzzfeed quiz titled How Bad Are You At Flirting and this is my result:

You got: Tremendously bad. Like seriously awful Stop. For the sake of everybody around you, just stop. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a flirting flop. Life for you just isn’t like it is in the movies.

Yeah, sounds about right. Here's the link if anyone's interested: http://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/this-is-boyfriend-material#.to0RLDGWB

I'm "kinda bad". ^^ Though honestly, all of the possibe answers looked bad, so it was a hard time choosing.

I also got Tremendously Bad. It is an ace moment that I'm happy with this? I'm always super nervous about giving off flirty signals that I didn't intend.

Somehow I got "a rare creature that's actually good at flirting." I think it's probably because I never mean anything by it and don't ever realize when the other person actually does mean something when they're flirting...

[Darya-Kuryakin]

So i had to act attracted or dare i say horny to to the other character. It took 10-15 min before they took me off the part becuse i didnt know how to act like i was being seduced.

Although I've never experienced this myself, I think the situation would be the same for me!

This reminds me of the time in 7th grade where I was in a play and my character was dating this character played by a guy who was in 9th grade... and the other members of the cast had to teach me how to hold hands with him and look into his eyes.

Ever read the hilarious Ugly Duckling Play? Not based on the fairytale.... Well, Dulcinda's acting would be about mine - except that I would have nothing to draw from.....

[Darya-Kuryakin]

I have moments like this whenever someone asks me whether I think this girl/that guy is attractive. Conversations usually follow this script or something similar:

Guy: Hello, my good fellow! Do you find this particularly vivacious female in any way attractive?!

Me: No, good sir; I find her hair brittle, her gaze listless, and her form unrealistically curvy!

Guy: Good lord! You must be a homosexual, sah! A homosexual, I say!

Me: I must protest! In fact, most women I find unattractive-the flaws in their features stand out much more when one is not clouded by lust.

Guy: A homosexual, sah! A homosexual!

Me: If you must know, I find that I don't really find anyone attractive. At all.

Guy: ....A homosexual!

Or this:

Girl: Platonic male friend! What do you look for most in a woman?

Me: Fair lady, I am not sure I am the best person for the type of advice you seek!

Girl: Is it the smile? Or are men mostly preoccupied with the bosom and nether regions of a woman?

Me: I see that you are completely ignoring me. Can I advise that obliviousness and self-centredness are neither of them admirable traits?

Girl: Is the personality, then, that men are in truth most drawn to?

Me: I couldn't say, but the ability to be quiet when silence is called for is certainly something I think you should try!

*falls off chair dying of laughter* Shakespeare and dry wit - I applaud you most heartily!!!!!!!