Incredibly Ace Moments

[eringrey]

"Things I Have Hollered At Packs Of Young Men In The Street Who Look Like They Might Play Water Polo That I Feel Pretty Good About" is more or less me all the time

“I REALLY LIKE THAT YOU’RE ALL WEARING DIFFERENT COLORED PASTEL SHORTS, YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE A FUN FRIENDSHIP”

http://the-toast.net/2015/07/07/things-i-have-hollered-at-packs-of-young-men-in-the-street-that-i-feel-pretty-good-about/

[Deleted Person]

I'm getting some resin paints in a few days and I've been thinking about trinkety things to sell at maybe conventions or craft fairs (or just online), so I've been looking up how to make silicone moulds since that would be a lot cheaper then having to buy pre-made shapes and be more versatile etc. Looking at some tutorials I happen to glance down at the comments to find girls asking if they could use it to make dildos. Oh, well... I guess there are two types of people in the world...

Are you going to paint the trinkets in ace colors? ;) *points at his avatar*

Ha, I wish. I don't think the special paints I'm getting have the right colours... but if they have....

[knout]

I keep seeing this Durex ad where if you buy some products you can win worth 2000$ of condoms

I'm like... what?!

[DiEvAl]

I keep seeing this Durex ad where if you buy some products you can win worth 2000$ of condoms

I'm like... what?!

Well, I guess you could make a bit of money by selling them...

[knout]

I keep seeing this Durex ad where if you buy some products you can win worth 2000$ of condoms

I'm like... what?!

Well, I guess you could make a bit of money by selling them...

haha!! that'd be so creepy "come on guys I'm selling condoms, pay 2 get 3" :D

[Dodecahedron314]

Only understanding an innuendo someone made because you read about it on AVEN. (Or that there even was an innuendo in the first place.)

Also, trying to awkwardly skirt around the fact that the online friends you're talking about to someone IRL are from AVEN by saying "oh, just a forum", finally mentioning it by acronym to satisfy the person's curiosity, and then finding out that your presumably straight roommate who was also in on the conversation has heard of it before. :D

[Torquil]

I just remembered an 'interesting' moment at a party (warning: possible TMI).

Semi-drunk girl: I really love oral sex.

Me: [looking uncomfortable]

Girl: What, you mean you don't like getting blowjobs?

Me: No...

Girl: Or giving oral?

Me: Not really...

Girl [incredulous]: What do you do then?

Me: ...

[Honey_Badger]

"Things I Have Hollered At Packs Of Young Men In The Street Who Look Like They Might Play Water Polo That I Feel Pretty Good About" is more or less me all the time

“I REALLY LIKE THAT YOU’RE ALL WEARING DIFFERENT COLORED PASTEL SHORTS, YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE A FUN FRIENDSHIP”

http://the-toast.net/2015/07/07/things-i-have-hollered-at-packs-of-young-men-in-the-street-that-i-feel-pretty-good-about/

Me, that one time *attempting to snare guy with nerdy t-shirt because someone had complained our friend group had too much estrogen*: Hi, what are your thoughts on amphibians?

Me, screaming at the football team: COME BACK WITH YOUR SHIELD OR ON IT!

Best friend, member of said football team: Please, for the love of god, ignore her.

How I introduced myself to an ex-roommate's ex-(not my fault)-boyfriend: Oh, you must be the squishy human.

How I made friends with an astrophysics student known for designing origami: Can you fold a peptide for me?

... We're just going to assume that before I was 21 I should have been on a leash at all times. Number 4 was actually not a hideous embarassment, though, we ended up making a tobacco mosaic virus scale model in the back of a very boring lecture.

[Nes7]

My best friends boyfriend is leaving in the summer for 6 weeks and she talks how she's afraid that he's gonna cheat on her.

me: 'Oh, come on, he loves you and six weeks is so short anyways!'

two other friends: 'Eh, six weeks is a very long time...'

[LeftyGreenMario]

I remember being in a chatroom in a wiki, and once someone mentioned about anything sex-related, I'm like, "Nope, I'm not talking anymore. I'm out of here".

Oh yeah, somebody was talking about a hypothetical Mario Kart Maker, one user chimed and said that "People will make dick-shaped courses". One person responded "mmmm, dick-shaped courses". I found it totally disgusting, called him out for it, even after he said he was joking, and he said "feeling insecure?" I said, "What the hell are you talking about!?"

Also, I've said that I like cake and people were like "I like cake, if you know what I mean", and I really don't know what they mean.

[Elluna Hellen]

I remember being in a chatroom in a wiki, and once someone mentioned about anything sex-related, I'm like, "Nope, I'm not talking anymore. I'm out of here".

Oh yeah, somebody was talking about a hypothetical Mario Kart Maker, one user chimed and said that "People will make dick-shaped courses". One person responded "mmmm, dick-shaped courses". I found it totally disgusting, called him out for it, even after he said he was joking, and he said "feeling insecure?" I said, "What the hell are you talking about!?"

Also, I've said that I like cake and people were like "I like cake, if you know what I mean", and I really don't know what they mean.

My mind would immediately go to cake as a symbol for asexuality and that's probably an ace moment all on its own :P

[Anthracite_Impreza]

My best friends boyfriend is leaving in the summer for 6 weeks and she talks how she's afraid that he's gonna cheat on her.

me: 'Oh, come on, he loves you and six weeks is so short anyways!'

two other friends: 'Eh, six weeks is a very long time...'

This sort of thing makes my brain malfunction. You can't wait six weeks for someone you supposedly love? :s

I remember being in a chatroom in a wiki, and once someone mentioned about anything sex-related, I'm like, "Nope, I'm not talking anymore. I'm out of here".

Oh yeah, somebody was talking about a hypothetical Mario Kart Maker, one user chimed and said that "People will make dick-shaped courses". One person responded "mmmm, dick-shaped courses". I found it totally disgusting, called him out for it, even after he said he was joking, and he said "feeling insecure?" I said, "What the hell are you talking about!?"

Also, I've said that I like cake and people were like "I like cake, if you know what I mean", and I really don't know what they mean.

My mind would immediately go to cake as a symbol for asexuality and that's probably an ace moment all on its own :P

Me too, totally not getting the innuendo here...

[Dodecahedron314]

"Things I Have Hollered At Packs Of Young Men In The Street Who Look Like They Might Play Water Polo That I Feel Pretty Good About" is more or less me all the time

I REALLY LIKE THAT YOURE ALL WEARING DIFFERENT COLORED PASTEL SHORTS, YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE A FUN FRIENDSHIP

http://the-toast.net/2015/07/07/things-i-have-hollered-at-packs-of-young-men-in-the-street-that-i-feel-pretty-good-about/

Me, that one time *attempting to snare guy with nerdy t-shirt because someone had complained our friend group had too much estrogen*: Hi, what are your thoughts on amphibians?

Me, screaming at the football team: COME BACK WITH YOUR SHIELD OR ON IT!

Best friend, member of said football team: Please, for the love of god, ignore her.

How I introduced myself to an ex-roommate's ex-(not my fault)-boyfriend: Oh, you must be the squishy human.

How I made friends with an astrophysics student known for designing origami: Can you fold a peptide for me?

... We're just going to assume that before I was 21 I should have been on a leash at all times. Number 4 was actually not a hideous embarassment, though, we ended up making a tobacco mosaic virus scale model in the back of a very boring lecture.

Oh my Newton, this is glorious. Kept on a leash? No, Honey_Badger, you are full of win. I will consider myself accomplished if I can manage to be even half this awesome in college. Amphibians and tobacco mosaic virus origami for the win.

[UncommonNonsense]

Childhood "How the hell did no one figure out I was Ace until I was 25??" moment: I am almost 9 years old. While some kids in my class have known about where babies come from for years, I had never really asked or had any obvious curiosity about the matter. But then a friend's mother got pregnant, and I became curious as to not only how a baby was born but how it got inside it's mother in the first place. So, one evening after school, my mother (an elementary school teacher) decides to teach me all about 'the birds and the bees'. Including all about the act by which a baby is made.

My reaction? "That is GROSS! I am *never* letting a guy do that to me! EEEEWWWW! That is too gross to be true! You *have* to be lying!"

While I ran away with my fingers jammed into my ears to prevent myself from hearing anything more of this disturbing revelation, Mum laughed so hard she nearly threw up.

When my very straight-laced, kind of repressed father got home from work, I didn't even let him get fully past the front door before I skewered him with "Mom told me what sex is. That is totally too disgusting to be real! YOU have to tell me *really* how babies are made, because Mum is just lying to me!".

I was so disgusted with the very concept of sex that I was convinced that Mum was just making up that horrible, icky, nasty explanation in order to get a laugh at my reaction. When Dad's version was the same as Mum's, I clapped my hands back over my ears and took off for my room at a dead run. The idea that the guy puts the organ through which he urinates inside the woman's body just freaked me out to no end. Gross! My parents left me alone for about half an hour to let me calm down and regain my composure, then came up to my room and tried to get me to talk to them about what I was thinking about what they'd told me. When I told them how absolutely disgusting I thought it was and how I'd never, ever want a guy to do that to me, they both laughed and said "That'll change when you hit your teen years!".

Surprise, surprise. It didn't. If anything, I became even more sex-averse as more and more of my friends and classmates began to pair off and have sex.

Looking back on it, the fact that I was a sex-repulsed asexual was so flamingly obvious. How the hell did it take so long for this to be discovered?

[nerdperson777]

[Trying to set up an ace hangout with people at school]

Chatbox

Person 1: Is this a hangout or do we talk about aro/ace stuff?

Me: We don't have to. We can just hang out.

Person 2: Yeah, we can talk about anything.

Me: It's not like we talk about cake all day and argue about which flavor is the best.

Person 2: That's a hard one though.

Me: I'm not going to argue about flavors of cake.

[nerdperson777]

My favorite character in a comic.

http://tsundere-sweet-heart.tumblr.com/post/102482836931

[Nes7]

I had sex with this guy I really liked, just to see if it would be different this time and if I may enjoy it (spoiler: no, did nothing).

It was dark and he said: "So, who are you?;)". Me, feeling incredibly awkward as always when I did have sex: "eh... I'm, eh... -myname-.". He said surprised and slightly disappointed:"... you can be everyone and you choose to be yourself?".

[deleted7]

When I was 18, going into college, a high school friend of mine was contemplating the appropriate time to lose his virginity. He turns to me and asks when I think I'd be ready to have sex.

Me: Well, it'd have to be with someone I'm really comfortable with...and I'd have to be at a place in my life where I'm not too busy...I think I might be okay with it by the time I'm 27.

My friend: :o You're going to wait that long?

Me: Er...I mean...that's long? I guess I could try it sooner...

[BlessYourFace]

Guy Co-Worker: "I think I'm dying."

Girl Co-Worker: "Are you getting sick? Should we call you an ambulance? We could request a hot female EMT for you and a hot male EMT for me."

Guy Co-Worker: "Yes, that will fix me right up actually."

Me: "Hey now, what will they bring me?"

Guy Co-Worker: "Cats. We'll tell them to bring lots and lots of cats for you."

Me: "Perfect. Let's do this."

So thankful my wonderful co-workers get me.

[BlessYourFace]

Childhood "How the hell did no one figure out I was Ace until I was 25??" moment: I am almost 9 years old. While some kids in my class have known about where babies come from for years, I had never really asked or had any obvious curiosity about the matter. But then a friend's mother got pregnant, and I became curious as to not only how a baby was born but how it got inside it's mother in the first place. So, one evening after school, my mother (an elementary school teacher) decides to teach me all about 'the birds and the bees'. Including all about the act by which a baby is made.

My reaction? "That is GROSS! I am *never* letting a guy do that to me! EEEEWWWW! That is too gross to be true! You *have* to be lying!"

While I ran away with my fingers jammed into my ears to prevent myself from hearing anything more of this disturbing revelation, Mum laughed so hard she nearly threw up.

When my very straight-laced, kind of repressed father got home from work, I didn't even let him get fully past the front door before I skewered him with "Mom told me what sex is. That is totally too disgusting to be real! YOU have to tell me *really* how babies are made, because Mum is just lying to me!".

I was so disgusted with the very concept of sex that I was convinced that Mum was just making up that horrible, icky, nasty explanation in order to get a laugh at my reaction. When Dad's version was the same as Mum's, I clapped my hands back over my ears and took off for my room at a dead run. The idea that the guy puts the organ through which he urinates inside the woman's body just freaked me out to no end. Gross! My parents left me alone for about half an hour to let me calm down and regain my composure, then came up to my room and tried to get me to talk to them about what I was thinking about what they'd told me. When I told them how absolutely disgusting I thought it was and how I'd never, ever want a guy to do that to me, they both laughed and said "That'll change when you hit your teen years!".

Surprise, surprise. It didn't. If anything, I became even more sex-averse as more and more of my friends and classmates began to pair off and have sex.

Looking back on it, the fact that I was a sex-repulsed asexual was so flamingly obvious. How the hell did it take so long for this to be discovered?

I grew up with my mom's anatomy books (she was practicing to be a doctor then so she had a bunch...she became an acupuncturist however) so I knew about sex before most people. Never really bothered me and I was never really anticipating losing it either, even after all my friends were having it and talking about it. Of course I was excited to lose it at around 22, if only to join in on the conversations, and every time after that wondering why in the hell I wasn't experiencing the Sparks that everyone talked about and became exceedingly gross the more I partook. It wasn't until I was 25ish that I learned about Asexuality and I've often wondered how I never questioned it before then more seriously! Lol.

[Deleted Person]

When I was 18, going into college, a high school friend of mine was contemplating the appropriate time to lose his virginity. He turns to me and asks when I think I'd be ready to have sex.

Me: Well, it'd have to be with someone I'm really comfortable with...and I'd have to be at a place in my life where I'm not too busy...I think I might be okay with it by the time I'm 27.

My friend: :o You're going to wait that long?

Me: Er...I mean...that's long? I guess I could try it sooner...

I've just passed 27, it's too soon. Maybe aim for 37 instead?

[DiEvAl]

When I was 18, going into college, a high school friend of mine was contemplating the appropriate time to lose his virginity. He turns to me and asks when I think I'd be ready to have sex.

Me: Well, it'd have to be with someone I'm really comfortable with...and I'd have to be at a place in my life where I'm not too busy...I think I might be okay with it by the time I'm 27.

My friend: :o You're going to wait that long?

Me: Er...I mean...that's long? I guess I could try it sooner...

I've just passed 27, it's too soon. Maybe aim for 37 instead?

What makes you think that you won't aim for 47 when you are 37? ;)

It's like when you are reading AVEN at night, and you think "I'll go to bed after I read 5 more threads" :P. "Hey, that one looks really interesting! I'll make an exception for it, but I'm definitely going to bed afterwards"

[Deleted Person]

When I was 18, going into college, a high school friend of mine was contemplating the appropriate time to lose his virginity. He turns to me and asks when I think I'd be ready to have sex.

Me: Well, it'd have to be with someone I'm really comfortable with...and I'd have to be at a place in my life where I'm not too busy...I think I might be okay with it by the time I'm 27.

My friend: :o You're going to wait that long?

Me: Er...I mean...that's long? I guess I could try it sooner...

I've just passed 27, it's too soon. Maybe aim for 37 instead?

What makes you think that you won't aim for 47 when you are 37? ;)

It's like when you are reading AVEN at night, and you think "I'll go to bed after I read 5 more threads" :P. "Hey, that one looks really interesting! I'll make an exception for it, but I'm definitely going to bed afterwards"

Look, if the world is going to continue to be more interesting then sex when I'm 37 then, well, I don't think I should be blamed for it.

[verily-forsooth-egads]

*Sees an attractive barista* Damn, look at those eyebrows!

[- - -]

[Trying to set up an ace hangout with people at school]

Chatbox

Person 1: Is this a hangout or do we talk about aro/ace stuff?

Me: We don't have to. We can just hang out.

Person 2: Yeah, we can talk about anything.

Me: It's not like we talk about cake all day and argue about which flavor is the best.

Person 2: That's a hard one though.

Me: I'm not going to argue about flavors of cake.

chocolate

[verily-forsooth-egads]

[Trying to set up an ace hangout with people at school]

Chatbox

Person 1: Is this a hangout or do we talk about aro/ace stuff?

Me: We don't have to. We can just hang out.

Person 2: Yeah, we can talk about anything.

Me: It's not like we talk about cake all day and argue about which flavor is the best.

Person 2: That's a hard one though.

Me: I'm not going to argue about flavors of cake.

chocolate

Lemon.

[JAKQ7111]

[Trying to set up an ace hangout with people at school]

Chatbox

Person 1: Is this a hangout or do we talk about aro/ace stuff?

Me: We don't have to. We can just hang out.

Person 2: Yeah, we can talk about anything.

Me: It's not like we talk about cake all day and argue about which flavor is the best.

Person 2: That's a hard one though.

Me: I'm not going to argue about flavors of cake.

chocolate

Lemon.

Does tiramisu count? If not, red velvet all the way.

[Deleted Person]

Chatting with a friend earlier where she twisted something I said into me "throwing" myself at her:

Friend: Awwww, how sweet. But I already gotcha, so you dont need to throw yourself at me. ;P What would your neighbors think?

Me: Urm... probably "I knew it"

Friend: ROFL Not the reaction I expected when I twisted it around though still funny XD

Me: *thinking* What was the reaction I was supposed to give? *thinks about it for another 10 minutes or so* I think we were thinking different things here. I don't think she had a "tackle hug" situation in mind...
so what was I supposed to reply? "Eww"? "*screams*" seems insulting..? Don't do this to me, I can only play these games if I know the right response! How do I find out? ._.;

This is why people shouldn't even play flirt with me, I'm useless.

[cali87]

There is a dog boarding at work..my favorite breed in my favorite pattern and her name is Aven. Now I'm curious lf

if that's coincidental or on purpose lol

[UncommonNonsense]

This is why people shouldn't even play flirt with me, I'm useless.

Yeah, me too. I can never tell if someone is flirting with me. I used to wonder if this was because I was asexual or because I was autistic. Could be either. Or neither. But I am truly, enormously terrible at knowing when someone is flirting with me.