Incredibly Ace Moments

[Dodecahedron314]

Nope, it just brings me to the writing box.

Hrm. That's weird. If I were better with the full version of the site I'd try to be more helpful, but I got tired of doing so much scrolling and zooming on my phone that I just use the mobile version. Sorry. Anyone else know what's going on here?

[Mezzo Forte]

My sister once texted me out of the blue asking me "doesn't this porn star look exactly like my roommate?" She then sent a picture.

My sister knows me well enough though that she took the time to censor the image using digital stickers of ice cream cones. She had to censor A LOT of the photo though, and my brain only filled in the blanks on the obvious "cover thine nipples" censor. :lol:

That porn star did look exactly like her roommate though and no, she didn't show her roommate. She thought it'd be weird to imply that she was watching someone who looked exactly like her having sex. So I learned a thing or two about what to do when you're watching porn and come across someone's doppelgänger. It's an amazing life skill that I'm sure I will use many times over the course of my life :P

[SkyWorld]

So I was listening to this song. It's been a while and I remember it being very catchy, despite it being about sex. So, I was reading the lyrics as the song played. "Back and forth you rock me" and I immediately thought like someone rocking her like a baby in their arms... then I remember that... that's not what the lyrics mean... "Oh..."

[Goatybeard]

I recently signed up for an online dating site (a free one this time, because I'll probably lose interest again). It actually had demisexual as an option, I was very surprised. I was going through the personality questions and skipping almost half of them because they were asking about sex. I feel like it should stop asking me those types of things based on my previous answers and profile info.

Then I got to this question: It's your first date with someone you recently met. At the end she/he says "I think I love you." The answers are scary or sweet.

I choose scary and typed an optional response: It's scary when someone calls me cute on the first date! Then I realized it's a site for "normal people" and deleted the text.

It made me want to log back into these forums.

[IvoryStardust]

I ended up inadvertently coming out to my entire class yesterday - not that I was really in the closet, orientations just aren't something that's come up, even though I know all the other ladies are straight given the talk of their husbands/boyfriends and kids and whatnot. Anyway, it's the first day of the new module and the instructor is going around the room having us all introduce ourselves, give a little personal info (whatever we wanted to say - everyone else mentioned their marital status, kids, etc.... I gave that I have a cat, love coffee, and collect ball-jointed dolls), and why we chose to be in this course.

One of the girls, a friend of mine, says that she's in the course because she likes helping people, and one of her favorite jobs was when she used to sell "medical male intimacy helpers..." Everyone else laughs, I look at her blankly. No clue what she means. She sees this and, I guess trying to explain it to me, this happens:

Her: "You know... pumps... to... help out?"

Me: "Pumps? You sold guys high heels? Car parts? Plumbing supplies...?"

Her: "No... pumps... to, ya know, help them be... intimate... with their wives."

Me: "I don't get it...."

Her: "Penis pumps. Medical penis pumps. So they can have sex." *like, "duh"*

Me: "I still don't get it... you said intimate. You don't need sex for that."

At that point, 11 pairs of eyes (10 other students and the teacher) are on me and several are saying that yes, you do. The most outspoken girl in class laughs, "Of course you do... maybe this is why you're single? What are you, a nun??" So, I shrug, "Nope, I'm Ace." My friend is done, I'm up next - give my intro and am immediately asked what I meant by ace. This is when I got to explain what that meant, my ring, and my ace flag pin on my jacket. Every break for the rest of the day, I'm getting questions about things...

I was already considered the weirdest girl in class... now, even moreso.

[HobbesX]

I decided to go out for a beer one night. Theres a place down the road from where i work. So I'm like cool my team is playing i'll bring a book read and watch the game.

I sit down and order my beer start reading. I look up to check the score and think to myself

"lots of women in here tonight. Thats cool women are awesome"

And go on with my reading. Second period starts i look up again.

"cool! This place is pants optional! This should totally be a thing!"

Girls start talking to me.

"hey i haven't seen you here before you wanna dance?"

I'm really into my book so I'm like

"no thanks I'm not very coordinated"

She smiles and says maybe later.

Another girl starts talking to me she's really nice with pretty eyes so im like ok book hold up.

we talk a little bit more.

Ive apparently been hanging out in a strip club for an hour reading a book.

Sooo Yeah that happened.

[AceWizardApprentice]

I'm not sure why, but when I read this article about not having children, I could easily imagine the word 'children' being replaced with 'sex' during each point. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-weird-lessons-you-learn-when-deciding-to-not-have-kids/ The arguments used are similar, at the very least.

Today's ace moment: I went to see a film that I had a hand in making. It was an action-comedy less than 30 minutes in length and I acted in one small role and just generally helped out during the general shooting-process. It was presented in a public place to a small amount of people, consisting mostly of teenagers with some spare time. Basically, I was hoping to see it with a friend of mine, who forgot to show up. Consequently, I stayed behind to text said friend about it, which is why the ace moment happened in the first place.

I was alone with the director and the supervisor of the film and decided to chat with the supervisor. The director stepped in and pointed out that my assistance made a great deal in the completion of the movie. Something akin to: "It would've never gotten done so fast if it wasn't for your efforts!" I did a double-take at this and just shrugged without replying because I was in the middle of texting my friend. (I don't tend to speak if I don't see it fit.) The supervisor and director continued talking while I texted, we chatted a bit and then we left to where we were respectively going.

I only noticed afterwards that the director might've had a thing for me. He spoke the quoted line very sincerely and even made a gentlemanly show of hand when he spoke to me. He let me film a couple of scenes even though I had never filmed anything before. He even instructed me personally on how to use it. (Picture a 'romantic golf instruction scene', but with a big video camera.) It just generally seemed like he acted different when instructing me compared with everyone else. Like he somehow became more soft and gentle. It's very possible that I'm just thinking too hard about this because he acted completely different a few years ago, what with mercilessly teasing me with his group of friends.

Long story short: These things confuse me because I'm not sure if I'm just imagining things or not. (Kinda like when my mother thought that it was obvious that one of my classmates in elementary school had a crush on me, and I still don't see it.) I suppose I don't want to feel guilty about not reciprocating someone's feelings towards me, so I insist that it isn't true at all costs...?

[nerdperson777]

I'm not sure why, but when I read this article about not having children, I could easily imagine the word 'children' being replaced with 'sex' during each point. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-weird-lessons-you-learn-when-deciding-to-not-have-kids/ The arguments used are similar, at the very least.

Did you know that women who choose not to have [sex] tend to be smarter and better educated than those who do have them?

Yes, totally. (I can't get rid of the link it came with.)

EDIT: I love these.

I sure as shit do. And I cling to that knowledge, even when I know it isn't true across the board. When everyone and everything in life is telling you that you are wrong for deciding not to have [sex], you will passionately believe in any piece of information as long as it validates your unpopular choice. See, I'm not broken!

Heheheh, no.

And just because you have made an educated and logical decision not to have [sex] doesn't mean you will never have biological urges. For women, as we get older, we are literally fighting every hormone and evolutionary drive in our body that screams [sEX]. You cannot escape it.

[DiEvAl]

I'm not sure why, but when I read this article about not having children, I could easily imagine the word 'children' being replaced with 'sex' during each point. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-weird-lessons-you-learn-when-deciding-to-not-have-kids/ The arguments used are similar, at the very least.

Did you know that women who choose not to have [sex] tend to be smarter and better educated than those who do have them?

Yes, totally.

But correlation is not causation.

[Sarcastic Bob]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

[Deleted Person]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

This makes me realise why my brother might have been so annoyed all those times I just walked into his room without knocking as a kid...

[Selasphorus]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

Haha, I've done that too at my parent's house, except with anime. My mom knows me too well though and asks me if I've been watching "cartoons" again. ^_^ I'm glad she doesn't think it's porn.

[Dodecahedron314]

A different kind of ace moment :D

Today in my physics class, we weren't doing anything, so two of my friends started playing Go Fish. Whenever either of them said "Do you have any aces?" I'd do something silly like put my hand in the pile of cards or do a ridiculous wave at them. They never noticed. (I'm technically out to both of them, but I think they just kind of forgot about it.)

[Batman's Ace]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

I do that sometimes. Y'know, when I've been watching a muppets movie or something...

[asymptoticfreedom]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

[deltaX]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

I've done this with AVEN actually :lol:

[Kuromi Akumura]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

[SkyWorld]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

I don't really know what's up with the lemons thing, but I automatically thought of this...

[Lightyear23]

Today I had a track meet, and one of my best friends has a crush on the guy I'm squishing on (if that's the proper terminology?). Apparently there was one point in the meet that his butt was near her face (since he was standing and we were sitting on the ground, and I didn't even notice this, she just told me it happened). She said it was like one of her favorite moments with him. I thought today held a bonding moment between me and him too. Except my thoughts were "Aww we shared gummy bears and we were happy and that's adorable."

Different strokes for different folks? I felt super ace ;D

[My alias]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

OMG IM DYING.

If you look it up on youtube its about a minute long it is so funny. Normally this kinda stuff would just embarrass me but this was hilarious. Its two people who can barely hide their smiles while they talk about lemons and a "lemon whore" sneaks up on them and starts stuffing lemons in her leotard. Its a video that is safe for work so id recommend watching it for the laugh xD

[BluebirdOfHappiness]

Shortly after high school, my best friend moved in with her boyfriend. I still remember, several months later, when I was staying over with them and realized that they shared a bed. It literally never occurred to me that they were having sex. I just thought that she needed a place to stay and so he let her stay in his house and she had her own room and they just snuggled on the couch.

[Rwkropf]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

I don't really know what's up with the lemons thing, but I automatically thought of this...

Did someone say lemons?

[fuzzipueo]

In the past, when one of my family members has knocked on my bedroom door, I've shouted "just a minute!" while furiously closing tabs on my computer. In hindsight I realise that they probably thought I was looking at porn. Actually, I was watching episodes of My Little Pony on Youtube and was too embarassed to let anyone know.

In all honesty, I would be more weirded out to find out that an adult is watching MLP than to find out they are watching porn.

I like to stop and watch MLP with my niece on occasion. I would rather be caught watching MLP than watching porn, to be honest. There's nothing wrong with watching cartoons or anime, some of which is better written than regular programming.

[dandelionfluff]

Speaking of porn...

I don't know if this counts as an "ace" moment or not, but on the bus some guy tried to hand me a porn DVD. For some reason it was rolling around on the floor, so he picks it up and tries to hand it to me, showing me the front side with a half naked woman on the front. He says "Is this yours?" Like WTF? No it is not mine, I had just gotten on the bus and sat down, and I had never seen that DVD in my life. Just imagine sitting on the bus and some random guys flashes a porn DVD at you out of nowhere. I jus gave him the worst look possible. I have no idea what that dude was thinking...

[Kuromi Akumura]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

OMG IM DYING.

If you look it up on youtube its about a minute long it is so funny. Normally this kinda stuff would just embarrass me but this was hilarious. Its two people who can barely hide their smiles while they talk about lemons and a "lemon whore" sneaks up on them and starts stuffing lemons in her leotard. Its a video that is safe for work so id recommend watching it for the laugh xD

I shall show this to my allo friends as well XD

[Kuromi Akumura]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

I don't really know what's up with the lemons thing, but I automatically thought of this...

Did someone say lemons?

This is what i think of p*rn.

[Zash]

Yesterday my room mate showed me this thing on youtube which was supposedly an intro to a porn video - that sounds weird, I know, but it was just this guy and this girl sitting in their yard, looking at a lemon tree and soliloquizing about how great it is to have so many lemons, and how it was too bad there were so many lemon thieves in the neighborhood. Nothing porn-y was happening, the joke was just that the script was so trite and the acting was so terrible. It was actually pretty funny. Things got a bit porn-y when the couple looks away from the lemon tree for a second and this scantily clad woman runs in and starts stuffing the lemons into her clothes. So I was watching this thinking "hey, lemons are like two for a dollar at the grocery store right now and that actually sounds pretty good." I started telling my room mate this and said "I think I'm gonna make lemon chicken for dinner. We still have garlic, right?" (I'm usually the one who cooks). Anyways, I got laughed at because I guess it's weird, in my room mate's words, to "be watching a girl stuff lemons down her net leotard and start thinking about what you want to make for dinner."

So I'm still ace, guys.

MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS LEMON THING!!!! it literally is so bad, pornography is just people doing sexual things on tape :/

OMG IM DYING.

If you look it up on youtube its about a minute long it is so funny. Normally this kinda stuff would just embarrass me but this was hilarious. Its two people who can barely hide their smiles while they talk about lemons and a "lemon whore" sneaks up on them and starts stuffing lemons in her leotard. Its a video that is safe for work so id recommend watching it for the laugh xD

I might be showing my age, but, I do know lemon used to be a name for erotic fanfiction. Is that related?

[AceWizardApprentice]

I noticed today that I've been wearing ace flag colours the whole week! Also, my v-neck tunic and my purple top underneath that create a purple, upside-down triangle. (If that isn't subconsciously advertising my aceness, I don't know what is.) That, and my wardrobe has a lot of ace colours in general, which makes it very easy for me to be a walking ace flag on any given day without noticing it. I just happen to like all shades of purple and indigo due to the colours being close(ish) to red, my favourite one. I mean, I have a pair of skate shoes that has the ace colour theme! (And my winter sweater and tunic, which I love to bits! Wool tunic FTW!)

Today's other ace moment: I was inspecting the labels of my underwear and to my surprise, quite many of them had 'sexy' names, like 'Feminine Passion' and 'My<3 Secret'. I was pretty confused for a second with what passion had to do with 'boxery' underpants, of all things. ('...Secret...? With a heart? What?') In contrast, I found 'Crossbow' to be awesome by default. (I've always wanted to try one.)

[the bumbling rotifer]

I was speaking to a colleague over breakfast today. The conversation went like this:

Me: *stretches and yawns*

Him: "You should go to bed earlier"

Me: "That's not the problem, actually, I went to bed at 9.30"

Him: "9.30?"

Me: "Well, I went to bed at 9.30. I didn't go to sleep at 9.30"

Him: "Too much information"

Me: (defensively) "I was on the internet!"

Him: "Oo-er?" ;) *sniggers*

Me: *was actually on AVEN* :lol:

[Sockstealingnome]

I've been volunteering my time with the local college's art club which has had us working in conjunction with other clubs on campus as well. There's this one guy in a club who is your stereotypical blonde hair blue eyed hunk that makes women swoon and gay guys stutter. He's a very huggy guy and throws around terms of endearment which I guess women have always responded positively to but it hasn't been the same for me.

Him: Hey there, honey.

Me: Ugh...don't call me that.