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Incredibly Ace Moments


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There's countless times that flirting has passed right over my head.

I am paranoid about watching TV or movies with other people, since there's always the unexpected sexually awkward moment.

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I was working on an assignment for my human sexuality class with a classmate, and we were reading the textbook trying to find the answer to a question when it mentioned that children would sometimes show their genitals to each other, which they referred to as "playing doctor." I'd heard people talking about playing doctor before, but I always assumed they meant things like taking someone's temperature, or pretending they were sick with a horrible disease and giving them medicine to treat it. I was absolutely shocked when I realized what it was actually referring to. The guy I was working with just laughed at me for being so surprised. :lol:

What. Little kiiiiidddddssss! WHYYYYYYY?

Seriously? You mean that little kids in general see more merit in showing off to each-other down there than THE DRAMA AND INTRIGUE OF BEING A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?

Wait a moment guys, I just realized something rather important.

A few months ago I met a guy at a dance who was coming on to me pretty strong (though he was horrible at it, so that just meant looking for any excuse to hold my hand or touch me while we were dancing). I'd never been flirted with so I was freaking out and couldn't really think rationally to realize I didn't like him, so on the way home (he was going in the same direction but I left him like 3 miles from my house :) ) I told him that if we were going to start something I'd have to take it really slow.

Did he think I meant I wasn't ready for sex? I meant I wasn't ready for dating D:

I think he got the message when I never followed up, but still.

Edited by ithaca
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Batman's Ace

Today I saw a post in a Facebook group of a favorite male character with no shirt on. One of the comments was to the effect of "I need a cuddle!" and that sounded like a fantastic idea to me. Someone else replied that they wanted a little more than that, and my first thought was "like what?"

There's countless times that flirting has passed right over my head.

People have to inform me all the time.

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Tintinnabulation

I remember not that long ago on my first night at uni during Fresher's week and we were in a club, I'd never been in one before and the place was packed past capacity, plus a lot of people had escaped from home and parental rule for the first time and were going a little bit incredibly too far with their PDA.

When we come out of the club the first thing I said to my flatmate was 'Why are there so many pervy guys in there?' to which she replied 'yeah, boys get with girls, girls get with boys' and before I could stop myself I just blurted out 'But why would anyone want to do that???'

I got the weirdest look of all time :redface:

Did he think I meant I wasn't ready for sex? I meant I wasn't ready for dating D:

Probably! That's usually what most people mean. A similar thing happenned to me and the guy told me that it was 'important to experience new things'. I burst out laughing and he left feeling slightly affronted!

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Gray Wizard

It has historically taken me a ridiculous amount of time and retrospection to realize a girl was flirting with me. Male flirting is quite unsubtle, even when we think we're being subtle, so it took me a long time to even realize any girl ever had flirted with me until I was about 20 years old and had a discussion on what merits flirting with a female friend. One of those moments where I looked back on my life and said "oh. whoah."

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Batman's Ace

Back on Facebook, a picture I'd seen and commented on, of a favorite character tied to a tree. I'd noticed that he was tied to a tree. Several days ago. Now someone's commented on his chest--and I finally registered that his shirt isn't buttoned.

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ThingsWentBoom

And the conversation went on from there to me actually, officially coming out to her. And thankfully, not throwing up. But I'm still mentally recovering from the revelation that I'm the only person I know who doesn't masturbate. I'd been living with this girl for over two years and I didn't realize that she did. How asexy is that? ;)

Wait. People actually do that? As in, people who aren't just weirdos?...OH GAWD. :blink:

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And the conversation went on from there to me actually, officially coming out to her. And thankfully, not throwing up. But I'm still mentally recovering from the revelation that I'm the only person I know who doesn't masturbate. I'd been living with this girl for over two years and I didn't realize that she did. How asexy is that? ;)

Wait. People actually do that? As in, people who aren't just weirdos?...OH GAWD. :blink:

Yes. In fact, plenty of Aces masturbate as well. (I thought it was common knowledge that plenty of people masturbate).

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Mezzo Forte

I like to practice percussion late at night in college since the practice rooms at the music building are soundproof. So, my friend asked me if I was going to be "banging a snare drum all night long" and, catching the double entendre, I told him "I'd prefer to bang a snare drum instead of a person any day."

I thought I found a witty way to profess my asexuality, my friend now thinks that I have a percussion fetish.

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cleuchtturm

I thought I found a witty way to profess my asexuality, my friend now thinks that I have a percussion fetish.

He obviously didn't get the cymbalism.

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I find I;m actually the one to think of the dirty stuff....

Will they take my badge away?

Although occassionally I think pussy always means a cat.

no worries, I'm the same. I always think of the dirtiest stuff.

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Mezzo Forte

I thought I found a witty way to profess my asexuality, my friend now thinks that I have a percussion fetish.

He obviously didn't get the cymbalism.

Oh definitely, it's unfortunate that my point did not roll over well, so the cymbalism kinda crashed and burned.

(I've made so many percussion puns in my life, and somehow I never thought of cymbalism. You officially have my respect for that)

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cleuchtturm

I thought I found a witty way to profess my asexuality, my friend now thinks that I have a percussion fetish.

He obviously didn't get the cymbalism.

Oh definitely, it's unfortunate that my point did not roll over well, so the cymbalism kinda crashed and burned.

(I've made so many percussion puns in my life, and somehow I never thought of cymbalism. You officially have my respect for that)

Well thank you. It just attacked me, really. :lol:

I'm officially out of puns. That one wasn't even particularly good. :S

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Gho St Ory Qwan

Back on Facebook, a picture I'd seen and commented on, of a favorite character tied to a tree. I'd noticed that he was tied to a tree. Several days ago. Now someone's commented on his chest--and I finally registered that his shirt isn't buttoned.

Slowly getting more dark...

I remember I saw an amazing fan art of my favourite character. Took me a while to learn his trousers were undone.

Another fairly good image was way more risky but I was too busy admiring the hair to notice. My non ace sister was the same though.

Woo for family ace moment haha

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TheSleepyKitty

Too many double entendres go over my head for me to count. I also can't tell when I'm being hit on, or I'm in a flirty situation.

==

I think the most recent ace moment I remember was when there was a snow storm so my male friend had no choice but to stay the night. We set up the couch, etc, it was late and I casually said if he wanted to come upstairs to my bedroom we could play together.

I went upstairs and started playing Dr. Mario, and about 20 minutes later he enters. I cheerfully offered a second controller, and the poor guy was baffled and asked what I meant. I pointed to the screen, then asked if he'd prefer Tetris instead. He apologized and went back downstairs.

It took a few levels before it sunk into my head what just happened. D:

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Sociophobia

Read a whole bunch of these just now... I can definitely relate to all those unnoticed flirting situations.

I'll probably never manage to read them all.

But I'll leave you guys with a few of mine:

-My boyfriend's parents moved away about a year ago to some tourist town. In order to help him get a job and stay relatively close to society, I let him stay at my house. (after much of his begging to stay with me, since it was either that or not wanting to drive for hours to see me)Last month, I realized that he probably considers this as progression in a "romantic relationship", as opposed to something purely for the sake of him earning money and staying close to the places he likes. He moved in probably 8 months ago. Woops.

-For a pretty long time, I had a friend online (male), who I texted very frequently since we were both bored. He understood perfectly that I hated everything about sex, and liked to joke with me about it. We both tended to be pretty honest about ourselves together. Later it was pointed out to me that I was apparently flirting by talking to a sexual man about sexual behavior so much... But I still can't tell if it actually /should've been/ considered flirting or not.

-When I was younger, my friend was trying to keep something of mine from me, and put it between her legs by her crotch, considering it was a "safe" place that I wouldn't dare grab anything from. I grabbed it anyway, and she was disgusted. I didn't understand for probably years after that why it could've been gross.

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I have plenty of these! :redface:

I was sitting with a group of friends in 12th grade, and one of them was having a birthday coming up. It is well known that the girl was pretty sexual, and one of the my friends joke that he was going to give her a dildo. That made everyone around laugh except me because I didn't know what a dildo was, and I ask them. They all took one look at me, laugh, and my best friend next thing me to me grab me and gave me a hug because of how naive I was, then she explained it.

In eleventh grade, a speaker came to talk to us about writing good papers, and she made the entire class arrange their desk in a circle around her. She ask us to write a short but descripitive paragraph on where you will go for a perfect romantic moment, and I wrote about going to a park just because I like the idea of hanging around nature and just loving each other company. We had to read aloud what we wrote, and to my horror, everyone was describing a moment similar to a honeymoon. They were describing the suite they were going to stay in, the candles, the smell, bascially where they would love to have sex in. The first person who started describing their "honeymoon" like romantic place, I remember thinking "too much info, that is not what she was talking about when she said romantic." Then everyone begin describing similar things and I finally understood that I was the wrong one. When it was my turn, I was very embarressed and told her I didn't get what she meant by "romantic", then I proceeded on telling her what I did have. She look disappointed and told me that I must always try to understand the prompt. This was before I found out about being asexual, so when it happen I was left confused by how different I saw things compared to my peers.

ETA Me and my mom was watching a Japanese drama called "Your my Pet" and in the drama due to some unforunate circumstance, the main guy had no where to stay and convince a women to let him stay with her and she would only let him stay if he be her dog and nothing else, which he gladly accepted( yeah, it sounds strange, I know). Throughout the drama they became very close, and the women, who normally was very reserve and didn't show her feelings, begin to open up to the guy and show her true personailty, something she rarely show to others. She cried in front of him when she hated crying infront of people, and let him hold her too. To me, this signified her falling in love with him since that is they type of relationship I've always wanted. My mother disagreed due to throughtout the drama, the women also wash the main guy hair while he was taking a bath, you know, being the owner and all. My mother said a women in love would have a hard time doing that, and tried to explain to me that the women should be feeling some "tinglingly." I didn't get that at all since this was before I found out about sexual attraction.

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Friend's status: "I agree that a campaign is better than a one-shot, but a one-shot is still better than not gaming"

Me, replying to status: "Some of the best games I ran were one-shots. I have no next session to look forward to, so I throw everything I have to make this single session as fun as possible."

Friend: "Sounds awesome"

Friend, after a while: "you missed the double meaning didn't you?"

Me: "I didn't think it had any double meaning. Until now."

Me, after a while: "Now what I wrote sounds like... OMFG"

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ThingsWentBoom

You went through game theory and reproductive strategies at 15? I want to go to your school! Half of our bio class left high school not really understanding what evolution was; the rest of us learned from library books in our own time. I never got a formal education in that until university.

A little off-topic, but what? I got that on primary school! I think it's compulsory in the Netherlands to teach that on primary school, actually. And I had the talk when I was nine or something, so my mom had already explained most of it. I made an essay on evolution when I was in primary school too. And we got the whole thing again last year at Science, we even went into the names of all the different cells and stuff. Next year we're going to get sex ed too. I can't believe you didn't get it until University...Just...I don't understand :blink:

Anyway, classic ace moment:

Friend: Don't you think Edward Cullen is cute?

Me: Uhhmmm...I guess he is?

Friend: well you can see that right?

Me: ...

There are also two people at our school who are constantly kissing and ..stuff, in the middle of the break room. They've been doing that for half a year now. They don't even stop to eat. To be honest, I'm kind of grossed out they're doing that while I'm eating lunch.

Me: I wish they would stop that.

Friend: Yeah, I can't stop looking at them either!

Me: I know right! That guy's so creepy, and I just can't eat properly while they're doing that!

Friend: Uhm...I actually meant they're kind of cute.

Me: Oh...Uhm...right.

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Sociophobia

There are also two people at our school who are constantly kissing and ..stuff, in the middle of the break room. They've been doing that for half a year now. They don't even stop to eat. To be honest, I'm kind of grossed out they're doing that while I'm eating lunch.

Me: I wish they would stop that.

Friend: Yeah, I can't stop looking at them either!

Me: I know right! That guy's so creepy, and I just can't eat properly while they're doing that!

Friend: Uhm...I actually meant they're kind of cute.

Me: Oh...Uhm...right.

...lol, I never even realized that anyone might think that was "cute" until now.

Maybe that's why I always get concerned looks from my bf when he tries to kiss me in public, and I say something like "It's gross to see /other/ people glued to each other in public, so why should /we/?"

I seeeee...

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Silvernight

Well, one of the most obvious would be... when I met my best friend's boyfriend, even after seeing them hugging, kissing and generally being cuddly with each other, I somehow assumed that they were just good friends. Took me awhile before I realised they were in a relationship. Yes, sometimes I'm truly amazed how clueless and out of the loop I can be.

At times I say things that can be construed as suggestive without being aware of it. Then just a moment later I suddenly realise what I said when everyone starts laughing or making jokes at my expense. E.g. the last time it went something like this:

I was told that on a trip I'll be sleeping in the same room with three guys (because no other girls were coming) and was told I can pick one.

Me: Why just one? (completely logical reaction, seeing that there will be three guys in the same room, not one).

Needless to say, cheering, clapping and innuendos ensued. xD

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Ase of Spades

While browsing through tumblr, This photoset showed up on my dash.

My initial reaction: “What’s that supposed to be? Some boxes? Or is it one of those things that you fold on the lines to make a three-demensional shape? It’s probably the second one, but they left out the box that would cover the bottom of the cube. I hoped they clicked “No” and added that in, otherwise it’s just inaccurate.”

After about two more minutes of analyzing it, I realized it's supposed to be a penis.

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Too many double entendres go over my head for me to count. I also can't tell when I'm being hit on, or I'm in a flirty situation.

==

I think the most recent ace moment I remember was when there was a snow storm so my male friend had no choice but to stay the night. We set up the couch, etc, it was late and I casually said if he wanted to come upstairs to my bedroom we could play together.

I went upstairs and started playing Dr. Mario, and about 20 minutes later he enters. I cheerfully offered a second controller, and the poor guy was baffled and asked what I meant. I pointed to the screen, then asked if he'd prefer Tetris instead. He apologized and went back downstairs.

It took a few levels before it sunk into my head what just happened. D:

lol, poor guy XD this is why we gotta come out to people.

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Girl: OMGGGGG he's so hot I mean look at him *drool*

Me: ...I'll take your word for it I guess

Girl: Huh?

Me: I mean, how do you know the guy isn't a jerk or something?

Girl: What

Me: What

Yeah, that's generally how that goes

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ThingsWentBoom

Here's one for the books. I'm in a theatre production with some friends (for lulz). the particular type of theatre is commedia dell'arte which is known to be rather...physical. It's loads of fun, don't get me wrong, but there are a few moments that are definitely ace. fortunately we have two scenarios, one of which allows me to be my regular asexual self, the other of which requires me to be a complete womanizer. This is a bit awkward and intimidating in that the two girls I have to "womanize" are my best friend (who I have romantic feelings for) and the most gorgeous girl I know. Naturally I get told many times how any other guy would absolutely love to be in my position, especially when we rehearse the scene where one of them hangs off each of my arms. Oh the lulz we have at the expense of my aceness...

I feel your pain. We are doing commedia dell'arte with drama lesson, and we had to choose characters. I was looking through the handout with disriptions of all the characters: ''Oh no..O god no...again?...why again?...I don't want to do that...'' In the end I choose one of the Zanni, only reason because they don't go after women :lol:

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Måskemigselvetsted

In class today someone mention that Bill Gate had manipulated with his timetable so that he ended up in the classes with most girls in (or it was everyone elses timetables. I didn't listen closely).

My friend: Why so? He did not get any anyway?

Her boyfriend: Why not?

My friend: He was ugly.

Me: There could be other reasons, you know.

My friend: He wasn't rich then.

Me: Yeah, that, too. I was thinking about personality, though

My friend: A-huh? (not to that I didn't think about it, but that he didn't get a girlfriend because of personality, because, y'know, you would only be together with somebody pretty or rich)

Her boyfriend: He was married before he got rich.

So, yeah, we disagreed. And I don't really know if this counts as an ace moment, but anyway.

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Måskemigselvetsted

And one more. I read the article linked to here: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/73913-woman-kicked-out-of-legoland-for-sexy-tattoo/

Yeah, were I the only one who had to read more than a dozen comments to realise what was happening at the photo? Even after the first ones, where it was mentioned, I didn't get it.

And I used some time wondering wether it was a lock in a door or maube just a small door or whatever it was she was standing in front of.

(So here it is proven that you don't even have to be a child not to get that picture)

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TheSleepyKitty

lol, poor guy XD this is why we gotta come out to people.

Granted, I had no idea I was asexual at the time... but yea, I can see why it would be important. :lol:

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You know how people usually find everyone attractive when they're drunk and wearing beer goggles? Apparently, when I'm drunk rather than finding people neutral, I find everyone unattractive. Huh?

And I don't get any of the innuendoes in Family Guy.

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