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Incredibly Ace Moments


you*hear*but*do*you*listen

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I was in a nightclub last year..And the Swedish guy (Jonas Erik Altberg )who goes under the name of Bass Hunter, was there. At the time his single and album was number one in the UK...I thought i must get my picture taken with him, meantime, he and some other guys had their trousers down and were showing their appendages to a photographer..I didnt even cross my mind to take a photo of their 'one eyed snakes'... I just wanted a head shot with him (no pun intended)

I did manage to ask him if he was Gay..he said No and how long it took to write the song 'Now You're gone,' he told me, it took one day.

Yep, I am boringly ACE !!!

Apparently, the shot of their genitals are on the web somewhere.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
during 7th or 8th grade my drama class had this big party after a show. my friends were making jokes about masterbation and a girl asks what it was. my friends laughed and made a reference to a valcano. i laughed too, leaned over to one of my friends and asked what it was, and she told me.

i didn't get it >___> i still don't see why people do that...

went home that night and asked my mom about it, and then asked her if girls could (because i thought only guys could do it) @_____@

It took me about four years to realize it wasn't only men who could masturbate. (I'm female.) And I found out what masturbation was because I was reading the Q&A section about AIDS in the back of a book about Ryan White and I read something about masturbation being an alternative to sex for people with AIDS who didn't want to infect anyone. I looked up "masturbation" in a dictionary; I remember wondering why anyone would want to do such a thing.

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When ever I'm watching a show I'm totally into it...

until they bring in the romantic relationship.

Eh.

I remember the first time I let someone else hear what went through my head at those times:

Watching Sweeney Todd. It's all the scene that Anthony is singing for Johanna.

Me: Seriously? What can he actually love her for? Can he really see her that well?

Sister: That's not the point.

Me: What's the point?

Sister: Love at first sight.

Me: Pfft. He might have well sung about his hairbrush. Knows about the same amount about it.

Sister: It's romantic.

Me: Would have been romantic about the hairbrush, too.

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Oh.

I just thought of another one.

We have a 13 year old that goes to my high school.

He's extremely smart.

Today he came up to me with a question.

Duncan: I don't get what tea bagging is. They always think it's so funny on Halo.

Me (no idea): It's gross. They're immature.

Duncan: What is it?

Vitt (thankfully overhearing the conversation): I'll tell you.

He goes over to her. She whispers in his ear. Judging by his reaction, I didn't want to ask.

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CrazyCatLover
Oh.

I just thought of another one.

We have a 13 year old that goes to my high school.

He's extremely smart.

Today he came up to me with a question.

Duncan: I don't get what tea bagging is. They always think it's so funny on Halo.

Me (no idea): It's gross. They're immature.

Duncan: What is it?

Vitt (thankfully overhearing the conversation): I'll tell you.

He goes over to her. She whispers in his ear. Judging by his reaction, I didn't want to ask.

My roommate told me that at age 18...with all the joy of someone corrupting another's innocence. (Trust me, you don't want to know). She also told me what a 69 was.

A few days ago, I was in a chatroom and this 40-something-year-old man said, "So, chemistry doesn't excite you?" and then a few other similar comments (I mentioned that I switched away from a biology major because I hated the chemistry; then found out that he was a chemist). Suddenly, he started apologizing profusely. I had to ask him why. All in all, it ended up being slightly embarrassing for the both of us.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
When ever I'm watching a show I'm totally into it...

until they bring in the romantic relationship.

Eh.

I remember the first time I let someone else hear what went through my head at those times:

Watching Sweeney Todd. It's all the scene that Anthony is singing for Johanna.

Me: Seriously? What can he actually love her for? Can he really see her that well?

Sister: That's not the point.

Me: What's the point?

Sister: Love at first sight.

Me: Pfft. He might have well sung about his hairbrush. Knows about the same amount about it.

Sister: It's romantic.

Me: Would have been romantic about the hairbrush, too.

Sweeney Todd is my current obsession. See, the thing about musicals is that almost all of them have some melodrama (i.e., ignoring of cause and effect for plot purposes), which results in a lot of love-at-first-sight happening because there's not enough time in the musical for a relationship to develop. Which is why I can deal with characters opening a two-for-one at WalMart package of InstaLove in musicals, but not in any other medium.

I have another one.

Friend 1: [Name 1] was completely insane. The first thing I ever heard her say was her replying to [name 2] when she said she'd never had an orgasm...

Friend 2: *interrupts* I think it was that she'd never had a clitoral orgasm.

Friend 1: Right, clitoral orgasm. But then [name 1] just yelled, "Do you wear PANTS!?" That was the first thing I ever heard her say!

Friend 2: *apparently likes to nitpick* Wasn't it "do you wear jeans?"

I remember thinking, "What other kind of orgasm is there?" followed by "Why would she say 'do you wear pants?'" followed by, "You know what, I REALLY don't want to know." *sigh* Ah, college.

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annwyl_cariad
I have another one.

Friend 1: [Name 1] was completely insane. The first thing I ever heard her say was her replying to [name 2] when she said she'd never had an orgasm...

Friend 2: *interrupts* I think it was that she'd never had a clitoral orgasm.

Friend 1: Right, clitoral orgasm. But then [name 1] just yelled, "Do you wear PANTS!?" That was the first thing I ever heard her say!

Friend 2: *apparently likes to nitpick* Wasn't it "do you wear jeans?"

I remember thinking, "What other kind of orgasm is there?" followed by "Why would she say 'do you wear pants?'" followed by, "You know what, I REALLY don't want to know." *sigh* Ah, college.

Wait...women can get an orgasm just from wearing pants? Am I reading that right? O.o *shudders*

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I have another one.

Friend 1: [Name 1] was completely insane. The first thing I ever heard her say was her replying to [name 2] when she said she'd never had an orgasm...

Friend 2: *interrupts* I think it was that she'd never had a clitoral orgasm.

Friend 1: Right, clitoral orgasm. But then [name 1] just yelled, "Do you wear PANTS!?" That was the first thing I ever heard her say!

Friend 2: *apparently likes to nitpick* Wasn't it "do you wear jeans?"

I remember thinking, "What other kind of orgasm is there?" followed by "Why would she say 'do you wear pants?'" followed by, "You know what, I REALLY don't want to know." *sigh* Ah, college.

Wait...women can get an orgasm just from wearing pants? Am I reading that right? O.o *shudders*

I'm pretty confused now. How does that work? Wait, I don't want to know.

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CrazyCatLover

In response to the pants/jeans comment, it depends on how sensitive the woman is, but yes, some women can orgasm from wearing (tight) pants...

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mad_scientist
When ever I'm watching a show I'm totally into it...

until they bring in the romantic relationship.

Eh.

I remember the first time I let someone else hear what went through my head at those times:

Watching Sweeney Todd. It's all the scene that Anthony is singing for Johanna.

Me: Seriously? What can he actually love her for? Can he really see her that well?

Sister: That's not the point.

Me: What's the point?

Sister: Love at first sight.

Me: Pfft. He might have well sung about his hairbrush. Knows about the same amount about it.

Sister: It's romantic.

Me: Would have been romantic about the hairbrush, too.

It's not romantic, it's demeaning. There's no possible way he could've fallen in love with "her" at that point; the only thing he knows about her is that she's beautiful.

Oh.

I just thought of another one.

We have a 13 year old that goes to my high school.

He's extremely smart.

Today he came up to me with a question.

Duncan: I don't get what tea bagging is. They always think it's so funny on Halo.

Me (no idea): It's gross. They're immature.

Duncan: What is it?

Vitt (thankfully overhearing the conversation): I'll tell you.

He goes over to her. She whispers in his ear. Judging by his reaction, I didn't want to ask.

It's the act of a male dipping his testicles into somebody's mouth, usually someone unconscious.

And now you know.

In response to the pants/jeans comment, it depends on how sensitive the woman is, but yes, some women can orgasm from wearing (tight) pants...

They'd need, err, stitching in the right place. Wouldn't those pants be uncomfortable to wear walking around?

I was once asked by a guy whether women like horseriding because it's like masturbation. It took me several minutes to understand what he meant. To any curious guys, the answer is no -- if you're getting that kind of friction from riding in a saddle, you're doing it very wrong.

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WakingDreamer

I just thought of one that happened a few years ago... I think back when I was 15-16.

I don't remember the entire scenario, but I do have a clear picture of myself and my mother talking... I don't remember what brought on the topic of sex, but at one point she says something like, "But you shouldn't have sex until marriage." The conversation continues like this:

Me: Well, duh. You told me yourself it's pretty awkward anyway.

Mom: *Blinks* Awkward?

Me: Yeah. You said it was awkward and a hassle. It was like a year or so ago.

Mom: ...I don't remember saying that. *Pause* Besides, even if I did that's not true. Sex is great! You just should wait before you try it for yourself.

Me: *Looking and feeling like a kicked puppy* But I KNOW you said that...

I felt all betrayed. :rolleyes: Ah well. I think she was also confused by how adamant I was that sex sounded really awkward and gross and stupid... I guess it's amusing coming from a 7 year old, but not so much coming from a 15 year old.

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Phate Phoenix

I fall into the category of 'Asexual with vast knowledge of innuendos', so those don't stump me so much. I do, however, have a most embarrassing Ace story. DX

When I was fourteen, most of my friends used to talk about their 'celebrity crushes', which always baffled me. How do you get a crush on someone you don't know? I asked someone this, and that's when I found out you could get crushes on just by looking at people and seeing how 'hot' they were. Seeing as how I was no of judge of hotness, this was useless to me.

Weeks later, I was watching President Bush give a speech on the television with my family, and looked at him. Hard. And turned to my parents and said, horrified, "I have found my first celebrity crush."

My mother looked over at me and asked who. I pointed to the TV.

"Our President." My mother and father stared at me. I gestured hopelessly, because I was sure I had it this time. "He's cute."

I've never been able to live that down, especially when my father told my friends about my 'revelation'.

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green pumpkin

One summer morning I went to the swimming pool with two, sexual active, friends ... the sun had just raised so the water was still cold and when the water reached my parts I kinda shouted "oh f*** external genitalia, after all what is it good for". I didn't make much of it till I realized that my friends were staring blankly at me.

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Hmm dunno if this counts as an ace moment

Was talking to a friend of mine (who's a sexual guy). He's unaware I'm A btw, but I've made it quite clear that I'm pretty "meh" about sex and relationships. Somehow he brought up the topic of porn in the conversation and was saying how supposedly all guys watch it, and probably some girls do too. (He doesn't know about asexuality)

Him: I think I've only met one person, a girl, who says they've never watched porn before.

Me *raises hand* : Well I've never watched porn before.

Him: Oh. But...haven't you ever gotten curious about it?

Me *trying to get across the fact that I'm indifferent to such things and find it boring* : Well, porn's just porn. I mean, how much variety can there be?

Him *stares at me*: ...

Me *realises what I've just asked*: Wait, that was a rhetorical question. Don't answer it.

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Phate Phoenix

I just remembered another one. This, too, occured when I was fourteen. I guess I was trying to 'un-repress' my sexuality that year. DX

I had a friend who was dating, and she had dated a few guys that year, and I couldn't understand what the big deal was. So, I asked her.

Me: What you you do with a boyfriend?

Her: *Horrified expression*

Me: *Waiting*

Her: *Turns around and tries to flee*

Me: *Realizes what I just said* Ack, no! I didn't mean that! I meant besides that!

She never did give me a straight answer. XD

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KieranTheWerewolf42

I don't know if this counts. It was a coversation I had with a friend in junior year.

Me: I don't need a boyfriend.

Her: Yes you do.

Me: But I don't want one. Boys are...ewww. What's the point anyway? Guys think with the wrong parts of their bodies.

Her: *horrified expression* You are such a lesbian

Me: Am not!

Her: Then why won't you ask out that new guy in study hall? I saw you staring.

Me: I wanted to know what he was reading!

Her: *confused expression* Meet Aiden *gestures to empty space*

Me: Huh?

Her:Your make-believe boyfriend.

The Next Day...

Her: So how was your date with "Aiden" *yelling loud enough so the whole class can hear* I heard you two got pretty frisky in the movie theater.

Me: *worried* Who's Aiden? Did you put something in my drink at lunch?!?!

Her: *shaking her head* I can't believe you're in band.

I never got why being in band means you have to be dating or whatever. Then again, 80% of the band had lost their virginity. No wonder I always lost at "Who's the Dirtiest".

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during 7th or 8th grade my drama class had this big party after a show. my friends were making jokes about masterbation and a girl asks what it was. my friends laughed and made a reference to a valcano. i laughed too, leaned over to one of my friends and asked what it was, and she told me.

i didn't get it >___> i still don't see why people do that...

went home that night and asked my mom about it, and then asked her if girls could (because i thought only guys could do it) @_____@

It took me about four years to realize it wasn't only men who could masturbate. (I'm female.) And I found out what masturbation was because I was reading the Q&A section about AIDS in the back of a book about Ryan White and I read something about masturbation being an alternative to sex for people with AIDS who didn't want to infect anyone. I looked up "masturbation" in a dictionary; I remember wondering why anyone would want to do such a thing.

e_____e dictionary neh? i should have looked it up in a dictionary....

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that_american_kid

My university does a drag show every year to raise money for the GSA and I went to it last night.

There was a group of girls dressed up like Nsync or whatever dancing to a song called 'Backdoor Lover'. Halfway through the song I blurted out, "They don't mean like backdoor 'of a house' do they?" I was horrified, but in a funny way. :) Actually, I spent most of the show in horrified laughter.

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Reading the early parts of this thread reminded me of so much of obliviousness as a child. I also wondered how people first realized that they had to and how to have sex, it didn't even occur to me that there might be some kind of (natural?) desire or instinct. And, when I was about seventeen, a friend was talking to someone else about me while I was around, something like, "She's the one who..." and I was just smitten by the fact that I was a "she". I shouted at them right then and there, something to the effect of, "Wow, you called me a girl!" It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I had never thought that other people would see me as a she. :blink:

Anyway, this happened just the other night. I'm still kind of embarrassed that I didn't get something as obvious as this right away. I'm a science-y person, and was planning on doing physics classwork with a male friend the next day:

FRIEND: Oh, so you two are going to get physical, eh?

ME: ....

FRIEND: You know, spark some chemistry?

ME: ....

FRIEND: Make some friction?

ME: ...

FRIEND: Sex, moron, I'm talking about sex.

ME: Oh...

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The second to last day of high school for me. I was coming back home on a bus from Cedar Point and a bunch of us decided to play 10 Fingers (*sigh*... I really was stupid for agreeing to play). And, so thinking I was only going to be getting all the males out I said "I've never masturbated" and everyone except me put down a finger (meaning they had). I was completely and utterly shocked. I knew female could, but I didn't realize it for normal for women to masturbate. My face was probably priceless. I know I had the dropped jaw and all. And the girls who were there that had put them down were very plain, and seemingly unsexual sort of females.

Now I laugh at my once naivety, cause I certainly don't assume such things anymore. Shown as when I was completely shocked a guy I knew didn't start masturbating until he was 15. I did not believe him at all.

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I was clueless about pretty much the entire existance of sex until the age of 15. I mean, I knew thanks to biology lessons that it was important for continuing the species and whatnot, but people doing it for pleasure never actually crossed my mind.

My friends on the other hand, had the dirtiest minds in the entire school, but were brilliant at explaining things to me that I didnt get (i.e: everything).

I seriously thought that a blow job was a type of hair cut, and loudly commented on this in the dining room one day. When my friends told me what it actually meant, I choked on my pizza.

By the end of school, I knew a hell of a lot about sex (and fetishes and other things that I really didnt need to know).

I must admit, it developed into a game for me. Even by the time I knew most innuendos and things, I'd still ask what they meant just for the fun of seeing people stutter. My friends always knew other wise but it was great fun if some cocky guy was being rude and I, with a totally blank, wide eyed look, would politely ask him to explain it to me. They usually left in a hurry.

>D

Eeevil :twisted:

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I seriously thought that a blow job was a type of hair cut, and loudly commented on this in the dining room one day. When my friends told me what it actually meant, I choked on my pizza.

I thought I was the only one! My mind instantly went to blow dryer and....

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  • 2 weeks later...
you*hear*but*do*you*listen
I seriously thought that a blow job was a type of hair cut, and loudly commented on this in the dining room one day. When my friends told me what it actually meant, I choked on my pizza.

I thought I was the only one! My mind instantly went to blow dryer and....

This is how I found out what it meant:

When I was in middle school, I had a friend who told me that (and I quote) "if you blow a guy on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, he'll give you Mardi Gras beads." This friend was going through kind of a hypersexual phase and so I figured I didn't want to know what she meant. However curiosity got the better of me, and I told my mom what she said a couple of days later. As soon as she explained it, I wished I hadn't asked! I also got in trouble for asking that question in front of my little sister...

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In class a few weeks ago, my friend was talking about food, and he asked me if I wanted to chop his salad. I told him I didn't see why he can't just chop his own salad, but sure I'll chop your salad. Everyone in the room just broke out laughing at me, and a friend had to explain what that really meant. I was teased for the rest of the day, but its blown over now. They pull a lot of sexual jokes on me because most of my friends know I'll walk right into it.

~Rubix

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
In class a few weeks ago, my friend was talking about food, and he asked me if I wanted to chop his salad. I told him I didn't see why he can't just chop his own salad, but sure I'll chop your salad. Everyone in the room just broke out laughing at me, and a friend had to explain what that really meant. I was teased for the rest of the day, but its blown over now. They pull a lot of sexual jokes on me because most of my friends know I'll walk right into it.

~Rubix

Er...do I want to know what that really means?

Some of my friends also pull sexual jokes on me, but in a different way; they'll say something that BEGS to be answered with "that's what she said" to see if I'll take the bait.

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I was in a panel for a podcast recording and one of the panelists referred to his "better half". Now, I do get it that it was a reference to his girlfriend and I'm aware of the saying, but I strongly reject the idea that either gender would be some way "better" than the other. But I think cats are pretty great, so I decided to interpret it wrong to demonstrate my different way of thinking about things by saying:

"I didn't know you had a cat."

There was a silence for a moment and then I was told that they don't want to know about my perversions or what I choose to have sex with. I didn't pursue the matter, but I was pretty upset that it was once again that something pretty innocent was turned into something sexual and perverse. (And in my book, anything sexual is perverse.)

Well, it's their perverse minds that turned the situation to it, not mine.

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annwyl_cariad
I was in a panel for a podcast recording and one of the panelists referred to his "better half". Now, I do get it that it was a reference to his girlfriend and I'm aware of the saying, but I strongly reject the idea that either gender would be some way "better" than the other. But I think cats are pretty great, so I decided to interpret it wrong to demonstrate my different way of thinking about things by saying:

"I didn't know you had a cat."

FWIW, I think this is hilarious. I (literally) LOL'd.

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