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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Incredibly Ace Moments

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Lanti SF

So recently a bunch of Eurovision artists have announced that they (or their partners) are pregnant. 

Oh wait you had to do something in order to become pregnant...

 

*frustrated sigh*

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Lirpaderp
3 hours ago, CookieWitch said:

I really just zoned out during sex ed. I swear until I was about 16 I was very unsure how sex even worked. I truely thought belly buttons played a role. But penis + vagina? Who the heck jumps to that conclusion?

When I was little I was told the baby isn't actually in your stomach, so I thought it grew out of the bellybutton. I was positive I had figured it out before I was "old enough" to be told. Later I found out the truth and was shocked. I payed attention during sex Ed class in 5th grade, but I didn't like it. We had it again but more extensive in 7th grade, and another time in 10th grade. Every time we talked about the same things. I don't see how labeling genitalia with the names of parts will help us at all. I hated every moment of it.

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:)(:

I was one of thoses people that though kissing meant kids.I also only thought you had two holes instead of three for a while. Tampons were never an option so I never really thought about it. They tried to show the sex Ed video but ignored it partially cuz they separated boys from girls and that made me mad and I think I hated to see what made us different?That was in elementary (why scar us so young). And I’m middle school we were in groups and everyone else labeled the paper of the various parts. I figured out a lot through bio books

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WoodwindWhistler
On 11/28/2017 at 5:33 PM, NoLongerHuman said:

Right?! I have absolutely no idea what either sexual or romantic attraction feels like, so if I'm ever writing a scene like that it tends to be aesthetically-inclined. I like describing characters and how they look because to me, that is attraction. Writing sex scenes is my worst nightmare; I never want to do it again.

 

On 11/28/2017 at 7:08 PM, knittinghistorian said:

Sometimes I think NOBODY knows how to write a sex scene... it seems like any I’ve read that are at all detailed are either A) gross and voyeuristic or B) pretentious and unintentionally hilarious or C) both. Or maybe I just think that because I’m ace and don’t get it...

 

On 11/29/2017 at 2:43 AM, OperationalWolf said:

No idea what's happening -- but I'm pretty sure writing sex scenes is easy as writing a descriptive scene from a novel. I myself used to (technically I am) writing fan fictions of mostly Thriller, Detective, Romance, etc. But when it comes to very .. extreme sex scenes -- well, I could only describe it as If two couples were waiting 2 months to do it.

 

This is also in a case where I would use my times when I was with my ex and stuff .. as a great way to kick things off. (Don't ask me why I would use it as an example because It was either that or go to a Porn website and use that as an example. T__T)

 

On 11/29/2017 at 7:28 AM, Hermit Advocate said:

When I read sex scenes I think to myself "okay, so that's what this person thinks sex is like. So when is the dragon going to show up and eat them?"

I was on the fence about whether I should ask you guys what you think of my (sort of?) sexy scenes. Then someone mentioned DRAGONS and I was like, yup, that's a sign. 
 

 

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CompassionateChimp99

I remember being out with a few friends once, not too long ago actually, and everyone was just ALL over eachother. And I was just in the corner drinking my capri-sun, haha! I was so bewildered. 

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mashinchACEr

When I see people kiss in public I just wish I could go over to them and say that they're disgusting, it's so disrespectful to sex repulsed people like me.

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Wish Bear 🌠

When you don't assume that anyone is interested in you because you aren't interested in them.

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SuzSays

Once, when I was in college, my roommate and her boyfriend were in the shower together when another one of my male friends came over to our apartment. When my roommate got out of the shower and dressed, and she and her boyfriend were leaving, my friend made a joke to her - something along the lines of "Don't be surprised if Suz and I are in the shower together when you get back," to which I inadvertently replied "Ew" as a first instinct. Apparently, replying "ew" at the thought of sex is offensive to heterosexuals. *shrug* 

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To Each Their Own
24 minutes ago, SuzSays said:

Once, when I was in college, my roommate and her boyfriend were in the shower together when another one of my male friends came over to our apartment. When my roommate got out of the shower and dressed, and she and her boyfriend were leaving, my friend made a joke to her - something along the lines of "Don't be surprised if Suz and I are in the shower together when you get back," to which I inadvertently replied "Ew" as a first instinct. Apparently, replying "ew" at the thought of sex is offensive to heterosexuals. *shrug* 

Really? You’re not supposed to say “ew”? That explains a lot! Thank you. 

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Zash
48 minutes ago, SuzSays said:

Once, when I was in college, my roommate and her boyfriend were in the shower together when another one of my male friends came over to our apartment. When my roommate got out of the shower and dressed, and she and her boyfriend were leaving, my friend made a joke to her - something along the lines of "Don't be surprised if Suz and I are in the shower together when you get back," to which I inadvertently replied "Ew" as a first instinct. Apparently, replying "ew" at the thought of sex is offensive to heterosexuals. *shrug* 

It's probably not that you saying ew to sex is what offended him.  He was probably offended because you said ew to sex with him.  Because everyone wants to have sex, right?  And since you said ew, it has to be because the idea of having sex with him in particular is what is offensive.  At least in his mind.

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nerdperson777
On 12/6/2017 at 4:36 AM, :)(: said:

I was one of thoses people that though kissing meant kids.I also only thought you had two holes instead of three for a while. Tampons were never an option so I never really thought about it. They tried to show the sex Ed video but ignored it partially cuz they separated boys from girls and that made me mad and I think I hated to see what made us different?That was in elementary (why scar us so young). And I’m middle school we were in groups and everyone else labeled the paper of the various parts. I figured out a lot through bio books

I think I may have wanted to go to the boy's puberty talk in 5th grade.  :ph34r:  I remember asking this one boy afterwards if their talk involved hairy armpits.  Silly me, I didn't even think about the "most important" one.  Of all the testosterone puberty things, I only thought about growing hair in armpits.

 

16 hours ago, Zash said:

It's probably not that you saying ew to sex is what offended him.  He was probably offended because you said ew to sex with him.  Because everyone wants to have sex, right?  And since you said ew, it has to be because the idea of having sex with him in particular is what is offensive.  At least in his mind.

Growing up, I told my parents I didn't like flowers.  I was asked, "what if a guy gives you some?"  Over the years, I've had answers like straight up say I don't want them or take it into the house and forget about it.  That is so aro of me, haha.

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chandrakirti

Haha! Maybe the general population is catching on.....

 

I had an incredibly ace week! It was only at the end of it that I realised I was oblivious! My new team manager is a man, very nice and helpful person, so I made sure to be polite to him and say hello, ask loads of advice,  thanks, etc. .....little realising that he probably thought I was making some kind of overture. When he started to blank me on Thursday, for no apparent reason, I kinda wondered why.....little does he know, I'm just being polite! When did people get so defensive....and, heck, I'm almost 60! 

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Midland Tyke
7 minutes ago, chandrakirti said:

Haha! Maybe the general population is catching on.....

 

I had an incredibly ace week! It was only at the end of it that I realised I was oblivious! My new team manager is a man, very nice and helpful person, so I made sure to be polite to him and say hello, ask loads of advice,  thanks, etc. .....little realising that he probably thought I was making some kind of overture. When he started to blank me on Thursday, for no apparent reason, I kinda wondered why.....little does he know, I'm just being polite! When did people get so defensive....and, heck, I'm almost 60! 

There's a new neighbour moved into my road. Split from her husband, and now living with her two teenage daughters and their dog. I'm probably 15 years older, and we ended up chatting and having a cuppa recently. She seems really lively and interesting and would make a good friend. But how to develop a friendship without appearing to want to date her? She has a new boyfriend too, she tells me, and I'm sure he doesn't want me hanging around his new girlfriend. Probably an opportunity for a new friend lost. Shame.

 

I should probably have posted this in Asexual Problems, but heh, this is close enough. 

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Pixley
On 11/14/2017 at 10:10 AM, Lotta_Biscotti said:

I did have to sign a form at one point saying Nope, I'm Really Not Pregnant, I Promise.

Where can I get my hands on that form? 🤣

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Pixley
On 12/5/2017 at 6:42 AM, dragon_nerd said:

Ugh, achey boobs suck. Mine ache before my period too

Yep. Mine too. I backed out of my chair too hard the other day and yeah...I felt that rebound. 😢

 

Plus my dad and my stepmom were in the room, so it took every fiber of my being to not instinctively grab and cradle my chest. 🤣

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Pixley
On 12/8/2017 at 5:33 AM, CFilipek said:

Dudes. I'm not going to lie...some of those things made my eyes roll so far into the back of my head I saw brain.

 

Stepping on a crunchy leaf...*bites lip* 😍

 

Yeah, I would say that's better than sex. Of course being asexual, EVERYTHING is better than sex. But still...🤣

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nerdperson777
6 hours ago, Pixley said:

Dudes. I'm not going to lie...some of those things made my eyes roll so far into the back of my head I saw brain.

 

Stepping on a crunchy leaf...*bites lip* 😍

 

Yeah, I would say that's better than sex. Of course being asexual, EVERYTHING is better than sex. But still...🤣

I liked the time I heard on this forum about the hairspray "Better than sex" and then for an ace that would not be a very high standard.

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Warsaw

Things better then sex objectively some told to me by heterosexuals.

 

1.  Doing 150+ on a motorcycle.

2.  Skydiving.

3.  Shooting a dual .50 BMG machine gun mount.

4.  Blowing things up (for the government.)

5.  Shooting small arms.

6.  Cannabis.

 

A very short list of the top things that are better than sex.

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Quasar.w

...

Edited by Quasar.w
There was a spam link in my quote, sorry

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Lotta_Biscotti

@Pixley I don't know what it was called. It was a single sheet. I wanna say that one was for the MRI, which doesn't seem like it makes sense in retrospect, but I remember being like "wtf. ...Why is this even relevant?"

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Sleighcaptain

@Quasar.w, that post you have quoted was from a spammer, ignore it 

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Quasar.w
3 hours ago, Sleighcaptain said:

@Quasar.w, that post you have quoted was from a spammer, ignore it 

Ah ok, thanks! I was really just like "why is someone posting this here without warning!?"

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Midland Tyke
3 minutes ago, Quasar.w said:

Ah ok, thanks! I was really just like "why is someone posting this here without warning!?"

better still - edit your comment to remove the link

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Dodoa

I had one a while ago when I was out with my best friend. He knows I'm ace and he usually subtly warns me before talking about his sex life so I can stop him if I want to, as I'm usually perfectly happy chatting about sex as long as it has nothing to do with me, but some days I'd rather just forget it exists at all. So this time the phrase he used was: "I know, you won't be as excited about this as I am, but..."  And I understood what he meant and was primed to think about sex related things. Then he told me about how in his new flat the ceiling light in the bedroom was fixed to a weight bearing beam with a pretty sturdy hook. Despite having been told that the reason this was exciting had to do with sex I first thought of hanging up some aerial acrobatics gear (like a trapeze and aerial silks), then of a really heavy chandelier, before realising what he meant. 

Spoiler

He meant you could use it for a sex swing or something along those lines. 

 

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Lirpaderp
13 hours ago, Dodoa said:

I had one a while ago when I was out with my best friend. He knows I'm ace and he usually subtly warns me before talking about his sex life so I can stop him if I want to, as I'm usually perfectly happy chatting about sex as long as it has nothing to do with me, but some days I'd rather just forget it exists at all. So this time the phrase he used was: "I know, you won't be as excited about this as I am, but..."  And I understood what he meant and was primed to think about sex related things. Then he told me about how in his new flat the ceiling light in the bedroom was fixed to a weight bearing beam with a pretty sturdy hook. Despite having been told that the reason this was exciting had to do with sex I first thought of hanging up some aerial acrobatics gear (like a trapeze and aerial silks), then of a really heavy chandelier, before realising what he meant. 

  Hide contents

He meant you could use it for a sex swing or something along those lines. 

 

What's a sex swing? If it's like swings on playgrounds then I'm confused, how does that have anything to do with sex?

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Adamjonuk

My best one is when someone told me when I was a bit younger that he had sex and caused his partner to put a bun in the oven - I had never heard the term before and was baffled how he had forced his girlfriend to do baking and what it had to do with sex ???

 

But then being Autistic as well I tend to take things literally anyway - The GP soon learnt not to say " Take a seat" when I went in, I always asked him to where and why ?

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GreenTune
On 10.12.2017 at 12:15 PM, Warsaw said:

Things better then sex objectively some told to me by heterosexuals.

 

1.  Doing 150+ on a motorcycle.

2.  Skydiving.

3.  Shooting a dual .50 BMG machine gun mount.

4.  Blowing things up (for the government.)

5.  Shooting small arms.

6.  Cannabis.

 

A very short list of the top things that are better than sex.

7. Caaake

#incrediblyace

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