Zeno Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 On 10/16/2017 at 11:59 AM, Lucas Monteiro said: [Read carefully, this is your fault if you want to read, not mine] Pootang means parts pertaining to the female genitalia or another name for vagina. If you look more deep the concept, it's kind of offensive, because it is said to describe and I quote, "The land of the pussy" or "good pussy" by some people. Yeah, good thing you didn't Google about it I don't know anything about that, but Pootie Tang is a great movie. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 So there's this webcomic app I've been reading and I stumbled upon a comic about a gay couple. There's a lot of sexual references in there but there are some good content in it. During lunch today I thought, I think I can read some more. So I open up one I haven't read yet. First frame is the artist naked in bed with his phone and censored by an eggplant. I'm thinking, "well that's one way to start an episode." He's at his parents' place and his boyfriend is showing up later, so they were apart. The next image is the boyfriend on his phone with the back facing the camera. I decided "NOPE not time for this". But I feel like lately, I excuse myself from looking at weird things at work. Just because I'm ace, I feel like I couldn't be in trouble for looking at things at work. So I've been reading that comic at work, and looking at STPs, which is certainly not work safe. I better watch myself. My supervisor already borrowed my phone to try out a company app and I hope he didn't see that my browser tab in the app scroll thing was an STP, which he could've thought to be something kinky. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ash_fi Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 My incredible ace moment has been going on for months. I honestly thought relationships with secretaries were just from bad novels... Turns out yeah I'm the biggest fool 💔 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Famethyst Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Yesterday my roommates made up a title for my biography (should it ever be written for some reason): "Cashing checks and banging chicks". I was just like "wut" and laughing internally at the irony. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Reluctant_Dragon Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Friend: Look at the rack on this chick (Hands me a dirty magazine) Me: Ok... (Grab the magazine and try to just ignore it) Friend: I would slam her if I got the chance Me: Ok... (Try giving him the magazine) Friend: Isn’t she hot? Me: Not for my taste, I guess. Friend: You’re telling me you don’t want to bang her? Me: I just don’t want to have sex with anyone. I find it utterly useless. There are so many better things you can do, at least, in my opinion. Friend: You don’t want to have sex? Me: No... Friend: Well what if you want kids? Me: Adoption. Friend: Well, just wait till you’re older. You’ll change. You’ll be more mature. Me: Well, I don’t think I’ll change. And not having sex doesn’t make me immature. Friend: So, you want to always be a virgin? Me: Yeah, why not Friend: (Looks at me as if I’m a total freak) Me: I’m aromantic asexual. I lack sexual and romantic attraction. Friend: Oh, ok. Me: Just know that some asexual people do like having sex and want to engage in it, just not me. Friend: So they’re not asexual Me: Well, yes they are. If they don’t feel sexual attraction,they are asexual. And, just because they like sex, doesn’t mean they aren’t asexual. I’m just not interested in it. Friend: Well they have sex. So it’s not asexuality... Me: (Start explaining the difference between sex-favorable, sex-indifferent, and sex-repulsed aces) Friend: (Looks more confused than before) Me: Just because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean other aces can’t have sex. Friend: But, if they are asexual, why do they have sex? Me: For pleasure, or to please their partner(s) Friend: Asexual people can have a partner(s) Me: Yeah, of course! Not every asexual person is aromantic. Friend: What is aromantic? Me: (Now I explain what aromanticism is.) Friend: So aromantic people don’t want to date? Me: (I explain the difference between romance-favorable, romance-indifferent, and romance-repulsed aros). Friend: So you always want to be alone. Do you even feel love? Me: (Now I have to explain the different attractions, what QPRs are, and the difference between crushes and squishes. I slowly start melting on the inside). 13 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I had a similar one earlier. I was hanging out with two female friends. One had guessed correctly that I was aro ace but I guess forgot today. So they were trying to figure out who I like and whatnot. Somehow during all this I mentioned the six types of attraction and had to try explaining it. The (most likely) cishet friend asked the difference between sexual and sensual. I said a common sensual thing is a hug. I joked that not every hug involves sex, right? I think it all started with the cishet friend saying that a co-worker tried to play matchmaker with her, "get you a boyfriend and get laid". The other friend was saying to not rush these things. Then I was asked, "don't you want to get laid?" I said no. Also this morning, I was taking a martial arts class (bagua for those who know) with this old guy who didn't have the best English. He was talking about body alignment, which I learned about already in university. So he's talking about how confident people don't slouch. Then he starts talking about a beautiful woman his age, about 70. He was talking about her form, how she can still do a lot of things at the old age. Then he said "straight people look good". I couldn't help but laugh inside. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wolfjackle Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 17 hours ago, Ash_fi said: My incredible ace moment has been going on for months. I honestly thought relationships with secretaries were just from bad novels... Turns out yeah I'm the biggest fool 💔 Damn, that's beyond horrible. Good luck with everything. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wolfjackle Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 I never understood the game "marry, fuck, kill" because I could never understand he difference between marry and fuck. And wanted an indifferent category. I mean, just because I'm not in love with someone doesn't mean I want them dead? 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
time traveller jedi Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Today I was having lunch with some female friends and they were showing each other pictures of "hot" men. "Look at this!", one of them said, showing me a picture of a guy dressed with a Hogwarts cloak and round glasses. "He looks like Harry Potter", I said, and went back to eating my food. The look she gave me was priceless. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 On 10/22/2017 at 1:26 PM, The_Reluctant_Dragon said: Friend: So, you want to always be a virgin? Me: Yeah, why not Friend: (Looks at me as if I’m a total freak) The only problem I see with being a virgin is the potential to be sacrificed in some archaic ritual to achieve global domination, or eternal life, or something along those lines; and I think the chances of that happening are quite low so there's not much to worry about. 16 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AussieIsAce Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 the most Ace moment is when your Asexual and everyone else is Sexual and your just there with them and you know they know that your ace and they know that you know there sexual and your just there... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Watching the person in front of me line to pay trying to hide their condoms under other stuff and realizing that not only do I not have to be embarrassed about buying condoms, but I can save my money for more useful things like books. 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dawnflower8 Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 18 hours ago, Wolfjackle said: I never understood the game "marry, fuck, kill" because I could never understand he difference between marry and fuck. And wanted an indifferent category. I mean, just because I'm not in love with someone doesn't mean I want them dead? Same here. I hate that game. The fact that I'm not too thrilled with the concept of sex outside marriage (or at the very least a commited relationship) makes it even worse. It implies cheating. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CFilipek Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 54 minutes ago, Hey you in the corner said: The only problem I see with being a virgin is the potential to be sacrificed in some archaic ritual to achieve global domination, or eternal life, or something along those lines; and I think the chances of that happening are quite low so there's not much to worry about. And even then you could just lie and say you're not a virgin, there's no way they can prove it and then you wouldn't be sacrificed 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 What do baked goods refer to? I had cookies and they kept asking what I prefer, cookies, cake or cupcakes, and I gave them a logical response to my answer and why. My friends burst out laughing but refused to explain what the innuendo was. If anybody knows, I'm curious and afraid to consult the internet when it comes to anything possibly sexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bexa Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 4 hours ago, Lirpaderp said: What do baked goods refer to? I had cookies and they kept asking what I prefer, cookies, cake or cupcakes, and I gave them a logical response to my answer and why. My friends burst out laughing but refused to explain what the innuendo was. If anybody knows, I'm curious and afraid to consult the internet when it comes to anything possibly sexual. I actually had this issue a while back too. Would like to know what cookies means so I can at least understand why they were laughing at me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SallyBlackwater Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Especially when I was younger I heard of people wanting to wait until marriage to have sex, and other people reacting like that was going to be a form of torture. I was always puzzled by those reactions, as waiting to have sex didn't seem to be a big deal to me.... 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 19 hours ago, CFilipek said: And even then you could just lie and say you're not a virgin, there's no way they can prove it and then you wouldn't be sacrificed It doesn't work that way. I've seen plenty of documentaries about ritual sacrifices (like Buffy and Angel). Not once was the victim asked about their virginity before the ritual. On one occasion, the victim was asked, but only after the ritual blew up when the demon refused her. That wouldn't have happened if she hadn't sacrificed her virginity before being sacrificed herself. Your advice is really dangerous, you see. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zash Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 2 hours ago, roland.o said: It doesn't work that way. I've seen plenty of documentaries about ritual sacrifices (like Buffy and Angel). Not once was the victim asked about their virginity before the ritual. On one occasion, the victim was asked, but only after the ritual blew up when the demon refused her. That wouldn't have happened if she hadn't sacrificed her virginity before being sacrificed herself. Your advice is really dangerous, you see. Some demons have a preference, in other cases, virginity just acts like a multiplier. IE, you sacrifice one virgin, or ten non-virgins, or something like that. Purer people have purer magic or some such. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beaver Boy Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 On 10/17/2017 at 8:44 PM, Haylo298 said: I have trouble with that one, because I can't ask someone to come over and watch Netflix anymore without needing to explain myself. I have a similar relationship with the phrase ' sleeping together '. Like, what if I literally just want to sleep in a bed with someone? There is no way for me to say this because if I say 'do you want to sleep together?' it can never mean anything other than sex T_T I agree. I have a friend I would really want to sleep with, but it just sounds too much like wanting sex if you say you want to sleep with you. I could say "I literally want to sleep with you", but kids these days are always misusing the term "literally" 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the duchess starla Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 well, this one time i was with my crush and we where by oursleves in a car at night in the rain, im 18 he is 23, we have a deep talk, i reveal i have a crush on him, we talk about life, he says he likes me to, then hes like "can i hug you?" i said "no thanks" and casually kept talking XD another point we are in a woodshed he brought me into in the rain, and he says he likes me again, asks if he can hug me, im like "no thats ok" yet i explained why i have a crush on him. then later, we are in the woods, its still rainging, he lent me his raincoat and offers me his hand to help me over the fallen log bridge thing over the creek, im like "no thanks" then he starts to hug me again while we sit next to eachother talkin bout lif in the rain, and i get on the ground and roll away like a ninja bitch paul blart mall cop awkward style..... XD then i sit up and we stare at eachother awkwardly and we go back to his house to play cards 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 9 hours ago, Beaver Boy said: kids these days are always misusing the term "literally" Although it's really not that hard to get it right... https://notalwaysright.com/you-are-literally-wrong/35524/ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Beaver Boy Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Yesterday in my power systems class we were using the admittance matrix to solve for node voltages. I was wondering why we only needed an nxn matrix for a circuit with n+1 nodes, then I realized the n+1(th) equation would have been a linear combination of the other n. Which got me thinking if what I think of as romantic attraction is just a linear combination of platonic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction and I'm really aro. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SylviaDragon Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I embarrassed myself a bit at the Chiropractor the other day with an ace spaceout. Before he could do any adjustments I needed to answer some questions and get some xrays done. So he takes me into the Xray room and says "Ok so you are old enough that I have to ask if you are pregnant or might be pregnant before I'm allowed to take the xrays." and I just completely...spaced out. That was the first time anyone has ever had to ask me that before. Usually that question is aimed at someone else and i get to ignore it. I ended up having such a massive ace moment that it didn't quite occur to me that he was asking me that question. So I just stood there musing over how silly that question would be if directed at me- an Ace who dose not want kids!- and hes just sitting there like "uh.. your not pregnant, are you? You're- you're hesitating." at which point i snapped out of it and felt super dumb and scrambled to spit out a comprehensible answer. "I can guarantee....that....i'm not." Unfortunately my fumbling made me end up sounding awkwardly bitter about it. I spent the rest of the afternoon hitting my head against a wall for that one. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tintinfan Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 On 22/10/2017 at 10:26 PM, The_Reluctant_Dragon said: Friend: Look at the rack on this chick (Hands me a dirty magazine) Me: Ok... (Grab the magazine and try to just ignore it) Friend: I would slam her if I got the chance Me: Ok... (Try giving him the magazine) Friend: Isn’t she hot? Me: Not for my taste, I guess. Friend: You’re telling me you don’t want to bang her? Me: I just don’t want to have sex with anyone. I find it utterly useless. There are so many better things you can do, at least, in my opinion. Friend: You don’t want to have sex? Me: No... Friend: Well what if you want kids? Me: Adoption. Friend: Well, just wait till you’re older. You’ll change. You’ll be more mature. Me: Well, I don’t think I’ll change. And not having sex doesn’t make me immature. Friend: So, you want to always be a virgin? Me: Yeah, why not Friend: (Looks at me as if I’m a total freak) Me: I’m aromantic asexual. I lack sexual and romantic attraction. Friend: Oh, ok. Me: Just know that some asexual people do like having sex and want to engage in it, just not me. Friend: So they’re not asexual Me: Well, yes they are. If they don’t feel sexual attraction,they are asexual. And, just because they like sex, doesn’t mean they aren’t asexual. I’m just not interested in it. Friend: Well they have sex. So it’s not asexuality... Me: (Start explaining the difference between sex-favorable, sex-indifferent, and sex-repulsed aces) Friend: (Looks more confused than before) Me: Just because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean other aces can’t have sex. Friend: But, if they are asexual, why do they have sex? Me: For pleasure, or to please their partner(s) Friend: Asexual people can have a partner(s) Me: Yeah, of course! Not every asexual person is aromantic. Friend: What is aromantic? Me: (Now I explain what aromanticism is.) Friend: So aromantic people don’t want to date? Me: (I explain the difference between romance-favorable, romance-indifferent, and romance-repulsed aros). Friend: So you always want to be alone. Do you even feel love? Me: (Now I have to explain the different attractions, what QPRs are, and the difference between crushes and squishes. I slowly start melting on the inside). Yes.... I have been in that situation before. (The explanation part not the magazine part) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tintinfan Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 On 23/10/2017 at 6:15 AM, Wolfjackle said: I never understood the game "marry, fuck, kill" because I could never understand he difference between marry and fuck. And wanted an indifferent category. I mean, just because I'm not in love with someone doesn't mean I want them dead? My version of it is hug marry kill. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mychemicalqpr Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Last week my friend came up with the perfect FMK solution for me. I don't know why didn't think of this myself. Kink mention nonsexual bdsm, marry, kill 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh Ace Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 It took me about five or six seeing the trailer for "Sausage Party" film for me to realise it was not a childrens film... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I once watched a livestream of chuggaconroy losing his innocence as he was given explanations for things such as 'morning wood' or what a 'heart-shaped box' really was. much like him, I made the mistake of believing that a heart shaped box was a literal box shaped like a heart. *has war flashbacks when being explained what certain innuendos are* But hey, it's funny to know what these things are so that you don't say them in the wrong context! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
miauw Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 6 hours ago, Cup-of-cake said: much like him, I made the mistake of believing that a heart shaped box was a literal box shaped like a heart. ...it isn't? Do I want to know what it is or will I be happier to skip it? 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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