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Incredibly Ace Moments

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a minor triad   
a minor triad
23 hours ago, Baggage_warrior said:

I'm growing Jalapenos (or as I sometimes spell it: "Halapenyohs" because words like that annoy me, but I have fun with it) 

Wait, why does the word "jalapeño" annoy you?

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Baggage_warrior   
Baggage_warrior
55 minutes ago, a minor triad said:

Wait, why does the word "jalapeño" annoy you?

It annoys me because it's spelt with a "J"... I also love pronouncing foreign words wrong because it annoys people XD

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Fen   
Fen

When I was a senior in high school I worked on the fall play. A family acquaintance and my mother were having a conversation and I have no idea how the topic came up but he said to me, "Don't worry, I'm sure you will catch a man sooner or later." With all seriousness I gave him the first reply that came to mind. "Society frowns on filleting and cooking people." My mind had wandered into the land of hunting and fishing. He wandered off quickly after that, my mother just shook her head at me and I, clueless said, "what?"

 

This happened long before I figured out I liked women and even longer before I figured out being ace.

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roland.o   
roland.o
On 10/13/2017 at 6:27 AM, Lirpaderp said:

My friend walked into a store where another friend was the cashier. He bought condoms, a single pickle in a wrapper, and a banana...... What is assumed by this? I know he was kidding, and possibly going to put a condom on a pickle, but is there something else to this?

Sounds like some kind of running gag, like buying a packet of salt and a battery...

https://notalwaysright.com/assault-and-battery-for-the-salt-and-battery/85559/

https://notalwaysright.com/his-bill-will-be-priceless/59585/

 

Or "buy three items to make the cashier freak out"...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22ooix/if_you_have_to_buy_3_items_to_make_the_cashier/

It's not about what will actually be done with the items, just the innuendo.

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Red Sun Rises   
Red Sun Rises
10 hours ago, Fen said:

When I was a senior in high school I worked on the fall play. A family acquaintance and my mother were having a conversation and I have no idea how the topic came up but he said to me, "Don't worry, I'm sure you will catch a man sooner or later." With all seriousness I gave him the first reply that came to mind. "Society frowns on filleting and cooking people." My mind had wandered into the land of hunting and fishing. He wandered off quickly after that, my mother just shook her head at me and I, clueless said, "what?"

 

This happened long before I figured out I liked women and even longer before I figured out being ace.

That story gives me life!!! LOOOOOOL

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ThatHuman   
ThatHuman

Leonardo Dicaprio...

 

Romeo and Juliet...

 

Everyone was like: "Ohhhhh, ma god! Yes!"

 

Me *thoughts*: "You look like a premature baby - are you crying? Why are you crying? YOU HAVENT EVEN SPOKE TO HER?!?? WHAT IS THIS - ?!???!"

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ThatHuman   
ThatHuman

Debating to be a nun/monk to have an excuse for your disinterest...and more disinterest...

 

Because then no-one would question you... And that would be brilliant!

 

Till you realised - you hate structure and order...

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ThatHuman   
ThatHuman
On 13/10/2017 at 10:25 PM, Feys&Florets said:

Why are people so obsessed with sex?! I just wanna watch my movie!!!

Me too - me too - PLEASE COMEDY! I JUST WANT TO LAUGH MY EYES OUT WITHOUT THE CONSTANT INNUENDOES!!! WHHHHHHHYYYYY!?!???

 

Welp - I'm sticking to My Little Pony - nope, that gets so romantic sometimes I want to be sick... Ughhhhhh, WHAT CAN I WATCH?! Oh yeah... Nature and science channel... I really can't go anywhere else without having brain damage... Ugh! - COMEDY?!

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Laplace   
Laplace
11 hours ago, ThatHuman said:

Leonardo Dicaprio...

 

Romeo and Juliet...

 

Everyone was like: "Ohhhhh, ma god! Yes!"

 

Me *thoughts*: "You look like a premature baby - are you crying? Why are you crying? YOU HAVENT EVEN SPOKE TO HER?!?? WHAT IS THIS - ?!???!"

Just reminds me of the numerous times I had to study R&J in school.

 

Classmates: “Oh it’s so romantic!”

Me: “No it’s ****ing not! This dumb infatuated numbskull listens to his **** and tries to elope with a girl he met just days ago, and then the couple’s naivety and stupidity gets themselves and a bunch of other people killed. This is not romantic! It’s telling you not to be a complete idiot and get carried away with some random crush.”

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Zeno   
Zeno
6 hours ago, ThatHuman said:

Debating to be a nun/monk to have an excuse for your disinterest...and more disinterest...

 

Because then no-one would question you... And that would be brilliant!

 

Till you realised - you hate structure and order...

I would probably seriously consider being a priest. I don't know what the positive incentives would be for me, but at least the biggest negative incentive for a lot of people would not be a factor. Except I'm Jewish, and rabbis ARE allowed (even encouraged) to marry and have sex!

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try again   
try again
17 hours ago, ThatHuman said:

Me too - me too - PLEASE COMEDY! I JUST WANT TO LAUGH MY EYES OUT WITHOUT THE CONSTANT INNUENDOES!!! WHHHHHHHYYYYY!?!???

 

Welp - I'm sticking to My Little Pony - nope, that gets so romantic sometimes I want to be sick... Ughhhhhh, WHAT CAN I WATCH?! Oh yeah... Nature and science channel... I really can't go anywhere else without having brain damage... Ugh! - COMEDY?!

Nature channels are full of sex. Lions go at it like crazy.

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miettaisace   
miettaisace

When the word "hard" means difficult and the word "wet" means you just went swimming you pretty much know you're ace. 

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Lirpaderp   
Lirpaderp
11 minutes ago, miettaisace said:

When the word "hard" means difficult and the word "wet" means you just went swimming you pretty much know you're ace. 

I really hate that. They always assume the alternate meanings and it bothers me. What else could I mean when I say the test was hard? That one doesn't even make sense!

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Lucas Monteiro   
Lucas Monteiro
On 06/08/2017 at 1:16 AM, Lirpaderp said:

I'm afraid to Google it but I can't resist

[Read carefully, this is your fault if you want to read, not mine]

 

Pootang means parts pertaining to the female genitalia or another name for vagina. If you look more deep the concept, it's kind of offensive, because it is said to describe and I quote, "The land of the pussy" or "good pussy" by some people.  Yeah, good thing you didn't Google about it :mellow:

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Quasar.w   
Quasar.w
2 hours ago, miettaisace said:

When the word "hard" means difficult and the word "wet" means you just went swimming you pretty much know you're ace. 

Just had that today, I said "sometimes you have to be hard (hart in german)" meaning tough and yeah... it was apparently funny hearing me making a sex joke!

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StormySky   
StormySky

-I thought netflix and chill meant chilling with your homies while binging netflix shows. Apparently it's sexual.

 

-I use the words "wet" and "dry" reffering to reverb space in music... but people think it's something else. Ew.

 

-listening to hard dance, scrolled down accidentally, comment said "you know what else is hard?" And I made the dumb decision to click read more. I expected it to be something about dance moves. Nooopppe it said, "my &%$#"

 

-heard my sister singing some annoying pop song, interprited "put your body on me" as belly flopping on someone. I found that funny somehow.

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ThatHuman   
ThatHuman
8 hours ago, try again said:

Nature channels are full of sex. Lions go at it like crazy.

Oh yeah... But I usually stick to the random treehouse building and pool building - I don't know why those as on that nature channel - but I'll take what I can...

 

Vet stuff, rescue stuff... It's honestly the best thing I can find on TV - some shows, NOPE!

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miettaisace   
miettaisace
8 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

Just had that today, I said "sometimes you have to be hard (hart in german)" meaning tough and yeah... it was apparently funny hearing me making a sex joke!

Same thing happened to me i was outside watering my plants and the hose pressure increased randomly and i got soaked so i said to my mate "im so wet" he laughed and laughed and i stood there very confused. then it hit me...

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Famethyst   
Famethyst

So my friend posted this "would you rather" thing, and you had to choose between giving up beer, steak, football, or sex (I put the graphic in a spoiler for a possible TMI for the picture on the "sex" option). I just thought it was hilarious because as a nerdy, wine-preferring, pescatarian asexual, literally all of them could leave and I wouldn't miss a single one!

 

Spoiler

19905014_1640363566008404_31500917361027

 

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nerdperson777   
nerdperson777
10 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

Just had that today, I said "sometimes you have to be hard (hart in german)" meaning tough and yeah... it was apparently funny hearing me making a sex joke!

I posted a status update once.  It said "I like them long, you know, hugs."

 

2 hours ago, Famethyst said:

So my friend posted this "would you rather" thing, and you had to choose between giving up beer, steak, football, or sex (I put the graphic in a spoiler for a possible TMI for the picture on the "sex" option). I just thought it was hilarious because as a nerdy, wine-preferring, pescatarian asexual, literally all of them could leave and I wouldn't miss a single one!

 

  Hide contents

19905014_1640363566008404_31500917361027

 

The one I saw had guns instead of football.  A friend shared it, saying three can go tbh.  All her friends were wondering which one she wanted.  It was sex because she's pansexual and hated beef.  I said that I would keep just the steak, and would give guns a try, but otherwise wouldn't need it.  On another unrelated comment, I added that the sex looked too straight.

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