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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Incredibly Ace Moments

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knoxroxmysox

I had another one last night. I was at a party with a few of my old High School friends, who I hadn't seen in awhile. I was already expecting a lot of sex talk, because of the people there, but apparently I still fell short.

At one point, one of my buddies walked in with a big rainbow lollipop in an unusual shape. My first thought was that it was in the shape of a bone, but she had already dissolved the top part, so it was now more like a bubble-letter T. So, conclusions from that (in order):

1) They're all laughing because a bone is an unusual shape for a lollipop. They're usually Mickey Mouse heads or spirals or things like that. Not a bone.

2) They're laughing way too hard for that.

3) Well, 'bone' is a sexual term. Maybe they're laughing at that.

4) That's too roundabout. They probably wouldn't be laughing at that.

5) Maybe it's not in the shape of a bone. Maybe it's something else.

6) Oh ****. It's in the shape of male genitalia, isn't it.

Yes. Yes it was.

This whole thought process took about 15-20 minutes. It took the others about 2 seconds, if that.

One of them had bought it as a joke gift from Spencer's, I think.

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i_like_pies

Well, I always get the jokes and I'm often the one making them. And I never had "that talk" with my parents, or any other relatives, os teatchers, or whatever.

What kind of a T-shirt could there be that would express that the light bulb had been screwed but hated it? A lit-up, screwed-in bulb saying "ICK!"? A light bulb looking at the socket saying "Never again!"? Hmmm...

A screwed-in bulb saying "PLEASE, get me out of here!"

But I really want a T-shirt with a unscrewed ligth bulb fighting with a hand, yelling: "No, you're NOT gonna screw me!" :lol:

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Val
At one point, one of my buddies walked in with a big rainbow lollipop in an unusual shape. My first thought was that it was in the shape of a bone, but she had already dissolved the top part, so it was now more like a bubble-letter T.

I peeled an orange today in one piece. The top and bottom from the orange formed cicles which I thought look liked big ears which were around the long middle piece which I thought looked like a trunk so I said

"hey look, I made an elephant!"

but no one else thought it was an elephant -_-

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henrik

A few years ago, when I was still studying and living in a dorm, I noticed in the computer class that a couple of guys had pictures of women in their underwear as their desktop background images.

So later, I brought the subject up with a couple of my friends in the common room and asked what's the point of having erotic pictures as their desktop. If they're horny, they obviously can't have any dealings with the models represented in the pictures and they can't do anything by themselves in a public place like that (I hope), so I really can't see the point of subjecting one to erotic imagery like that.

One of my friends, who's pretty understanding about my asexuality in general asked with a surprisingly angry tone: "Don't you understand, or don't you want to understand?"

So I let the matter drop. Still don't get it...

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Teagan KGB
One of my friends, who's pretty understanding about my asexuality in general asked with a surprisingly angry tone: "Don't you understand, or don't you want to understand?"

WTF does that even mean? XD

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henrik
One of my friends, who's pretty understanding about my asexuality in general asked with a surprisingly angry tone: "Don't you understand, or don't you want to understand?"

WTF does that even mean? XD

I guess he suspected that I'm just playing stupid for the sake of conversation. I have to admit that I do that sometimes, but this wasn't one of those times.

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OwlSaint

Just recently several overly suggestive commercials came on within a short timeframe. The first was an Arby's commercial showing a couple in the bedroom, dressing the women up as an arby's worker with a tray of food to get the guy excited, then the arby's hat appeared above the guy's head as phalically as possible. the other commercial was about a guy and his other talking about their sex life and a male enhancement pill....

I was thoroughly skeeved by both and started protesting them and my family simply told me to shut up and get over it :(

They don't understand...

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Aimeendfire

Oooh..I've seen that Arby's commercial. I was quite surprised when the arby's hat popped on top of the guys head.

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Guest Heligan

First I better set the scene, Im veggie and so was the person the conversation was with. He told me he had had a blind date and the girl had been eating meat, but he kissed her anyway... and asked me what my position on that was.

I found myself completely unable to comment, the whole idea was alien, it had never occured to me to consider it and have an opinion.

This was several hours ago and Im still not sure I have an opinion on it, I try to decide if it matters if they only just ate meat and its still all over them.... but my brain doesnt seem to be able to take the idea very seriously....I keep coming back to the whole idea of kissing someone as weird to start with and not getting past that into the whole meat thing. But I feel I should be able to put that aside and have an opinion on it as a hypothetical... but its like there is some wall in my head---very odd.

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Hallucigenia
A few years ago, when I was still studying and living in a dorm, I noticed in the computer class that a couple of guys had pictures of women in their underwear as their desktop background images.

So later, I brought the subject up with a couple of my friends in the common room and asked what's the point of having erotic pictures as their desktop. If they're horny, they obviously can't have any dealings with the models represented in the pictures and they can't do anything by themselves in a public place like that (I hope), so I really can't see the point of subjecting one to erotic imagery like that.

One of my friends, who's pretty understanding about my asexuality in general asked with a surprisingly angry tone: "Don't you understand, or don't you want to understand?"

So I let the matter drop. Still don't get it...

That was a mean response on the part of your friend. In lieu of him providing a proper explanation, I will attempt to explain.

Sexual arousal and sexual thoughts, for sexuals, are not all about getting actual sex, or even actual orgasms. To a lot of sexuals, mild sexual arousal that isn't pursued further, or even just the thought of sexual things (no physical reaction necessary) can be quite pleasurable. They surround themselves with sexually attractive images to get this mild pleasure, not to give themselves orgasms. Also, a lot of sexuals find sexually attractive people also aesthetically attractive, and surrounding oneself with aesthetically pleasing images is a natural human desire.

It's sort of like if you're into... cats, or cars. You can't pet and cuddle a cute picture of a cat, no matter how adorable and fuzzy it is. And you can't get in a picture of a car and drive it around, no matter how awesome a car it is. But you still might put those pictures on your desktop, because they are cool pictures of things that you like, and it's pleasant to look at them.

Or at least that's the charitable interpretation. Another interpretation is that some of them put pictures of scantily clad women all over the place to make themselves appear more masculine and dominant and (hetero)sexual, to impress others. Or even to intimidate women. But I prefer the charitable interpretation.

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Bachi

It isn't me, but I found it on "Bash", which shows logs of IRC chatrooms.

* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT

<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?

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heatdissipation
It isn't me, but I found it on "Bash", which shows logs of IRC chatrooms.
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT

<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?

I love bash!! And I've read that quote several times, but I never realized, well, the asexual side to it...haha.

Other than the awkward "how far have you gone" conversations (which have become rather unnecessary lately, because it seems I'm the only one lagging behind every girl I know,) the only 'ace' moment I can remember off the top of my head took place several years ago.

[Ranting about an amazing concert, the fantastic music, and the general enjoyable atmosphere.]

Me: ...And it was unbelievable, definitely the best feeling ever!

My friend [raising an eyebrow...oh, the dramatic effect]: Well, not the BEST feeling ever...

Me [still clueless]: No, I'm pretty sure it was.

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ma.c

Well, I'm like others said, I know how a sexual must behave, I get almost every sexual things, so I can pretend very well.

Although I had one ace moment these days, some group of friends were talking about peeing (yes, they're that weird), and then they started discussing that girls needed to use toilet paper after doing it, then it got like this:

Female friend: "You boys should use it too!"

Male Friend: "We can't, it sticks like super glue at the 'head'"

Myself: "How do you know that? Have you ever tried after peeing?"

He looked with this 'don't you know?' to me and said: "After mastubating you need to clean up, you know?"

Then I got that every boy there knew it, except me.

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SlightlyMetaphysical
Male Friend: "We can't, it sticks like super glue at the 'head'"

I can say quite categorically it doesn't after peeing. Probably cos the two emissions are very different things.

TMI... :unsure:

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knoxroxmysox
Male Friend: "We can't, it sticks like super glue at the 'head'"

I can say quite categorically it doesn't after peeing. Probably cos the two emissions are very different things.

TMI... :unsure:

Actually, I was thinking the same thing. :redface:

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LL Cool R
Although I had one ace moment these days, some group of friends were talking about peeing (yes, they're that weird), and then they started discussing that girls needed to use toilet paper after doing it

You don't use toilet paper after peeing??!!

I think I'm a strange guy. I even sit on the toilet all the time. Am I doing it wrong?

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OwlSaint
Although I had one ace moment these days, some group of friends were talking about peeing (yes, they're that weird), and then they started discussing that girls needed to use toilet paper after doing it

You don't use toilet paper after peeing??!!

I think I'm a strange guy. I even sit on the toilet all the time. Am I doing it wrong?

ur doing it wrong! :o

J/k. as long as it's hygenic there's not really a wrong way to do it imo. Most guys do not have to use toilet paper for peeing as pee doesn't really stick to anything and it's usually only a few drops left in that can be shaken out or just ignored. Standing or sitting is fine, pending on your aim and the cleanliness of the seat. Sitting is also quieter and probably better at night in rooms with no sound insulation between bathroom and other rooms, standing is usually quicker.

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henrik
You don't use toilet paper after peeing??!!

I think I'm a strange guy. I even sit on the toilet all the time. Am I doing it wrong?

You're not doing it wrong as such, but the male urinal track is built so that if you sit down, it'll put pressure on it and prevent an optimal flow. That can be a big problem, especially for me since it feels quite uncomfortable and it means that you don't empty out completely.

But naturally, if it doesn't bother you, feel free to pee however you wish.

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Peach
The "asexual moment" that comes back to me happened over the summer. I was with my boyfriend (first and last and highly regrettable) and we had gotten these giant Pepsi icees. He finished his off in about 5 minutes, but I was drinking mine more slowly.

I was drinking through a straw, so I was getting more liquid than ice, so I had to keep moving the straw around to get to the icee parts. The whole time, he was staring at me with this indescribable (amazed, hopeful, overjoyed, turned on?) look on his face. I ignored him, until he asked me "Do you have any idea what you look like doing that?"

I didn't. The only thing my mind could come up with was a butter churn. He proceeded to inform me that the correct answer was "oral sex."

Wow. :huh: Talk about the farthest thing from my mind, right?

I had a very similar experience to this last year. My (first and now ex) boyfriend and I were sat in the back of his parents' car and his mum was driving, and I'd just finished eating a packet of crisps. Usually I'd wash my hands because I hate hate hate having even slightly greasy fingers, but in the absence of a water system I'll just suck them until every last bit of grease is gone. So that's what I did. After a minute or so of thorough finger-sucking, I turned to look at my boyfriend, who had also been staring at me with the exact same look described above.

I made a sort of face as if to say '...what?', and then he said, "You really know how to turn a guy on" and smirked.

I totally didn't know how to react; I smiled at him slightly then promptly took my hand away from my mouth, turning to look out the window. I don't think he noticed my mildly horrified expression a split second before I smiled...

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LL Cool R
You're not doing it wrong as such, but the male urinal track is built so that if you sit down, it'll put pressure on it and prevent an optimal flow. That can be a big problem, especially for me since it feels quite uncomfortable and it means that you don't empty out completely.

I thought that was an Urban Myth ...

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henrik
You're not doing it wrong as such, but the male urinal track is built so that if you sit down, it'll put pressure on it and prevent an optimal flow. That can be a big problem, especially for me since it feels quite uncomfortable and it means that you don't empty out completely.

I thought that was an Urban Myth ...

Nope, medical fact.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

I was hoping to play Never Have I Ever at a New Year's Eve party last night and talk about my pwnership of everyone else in this thread, but unfortunately I don't drink and I was too afraid that I might actually have to take a couple sips--as such I never got a game going :P

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Greyhound
The "asexual moment" that comes back to me happened over the summer. I was with my boyfriend (first and last and highly regrettable) and we had gotten these giant Pepsi icees. He finished his off in about 5 minutes, but I was drinking mine more slowly.

I was drinking through a straw, so I was getting more liquid than ice, so I had to keep moving the straw around to get to the icee parts. The whole time, he was staring at me with this indescribable (amazed, hopeful, overjoyed, turned on?) look on his face. I ignored him, until he asked me "Do you have any idea what you look like doing that?"

I didn't. The only thing my mind could come up with was a butter churn. He proceeded to inform me that the correct answer was "oral sex."

Wow. :huh: Talk about the farthest thing from my mind, right?

I had a very similar experience to this last year. My (first and now ex) boyfriend and I were sat in the back of his parents' car and his mum was driving, and I'd just finished eating a packet of crisps. Usually I'd wash my hands because I hate hate hate having even slightly greasy fingers, but in the absence of a water system I'll just suck them until every last bit of grease is gone. So that's what I did. After a minute or so of thorough finger-sucking, I turned to look at my boyfriend, who had also been staring at me with the exact same look described above.

I made a sort of face as if to say '...what?', and then he said, "You really know how to turn a guy on" and smirked.

I totally didn't know how to react; I smiled at him slightly then promptly took my hand away from my mouth, turning to look out the window. I don't think he noticed my mildly horrified expression a split second before I smiled...

That's gross. I mean, I hate how a) people turn everything into something sexual in their minds and b) how even a woman's fingers are seen as sexual. Ugh.

he started making the 'kissy-face'

Sorry, but what's a 'kissy-face'?

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Ajazienne
I always kick a lot of ass at Never Have I Ever.

Me too... but I hate that game! Every time it's my turn I try hard to think of something, anything, not sexually related. Never have I ever been to Europe. And ten fingers... they're games that you almost don't want to win because they make you stick out like a sore thumb...

ugh I hate the never have I ever game as well... also the truth or dare. It sucks because everyone judges completely during those and I always hoped that I wouldn't get asked to say or do something crazy.

I always win Never Have I Ever...

As for Truth or Dare, once, I was with a few friends on a soccer field at night playing it, and I made the best dares, with laughter and fun times being had by all (We were all female.):

"Throw your glasses out randomly and then find them again." Five minutes of hand-crawling searchery and giggles ensued.

"Lie down... now roll all the way across the field." The game was then cut short in favor of finding new ways to make ourselves dizzy - spinning, tumbling, rolling, cartwheels.

Writing them out, they sound kinda lame... but when you're with friends, it's funny...

Once, some people came over and played The Nervous Game, in my room. Yeah creepy. I didn't participate, but I learned a valuable lesson about sexuals and the human mind from observation.

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HD Ready

I had one today... One of my bosses was talking about how her friends ex is back in the picture. They went out one night and apparently he asked if she wanted him to stay the night.

They both gasped at that and I couldn't help think....... Whats wrong with crashing over at someones house? Maybe he just needed somewhere to sleep.

Then I asked... maybe he just wanted to sleep over..... I got an evil look from that comment.

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Hallucigenia

(Ignore this post.)

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Chesh

Dinner at my parents' house last night- since I've been married they've started making sex jokes and innuendo about my husband and I which makes me totally uncomfortable. Anyway, I was talking about how I tripped over a blanket on the bedroom floor in the dark and managed to step on my husbands' sunglasses and break them the other day. Someone said something about buying me a balance beam to practice on (?) and I said 'Well that won't help in the bedroom!!' To which everyone made 'oooooo' noises and said things like 'hey careful now!'

I was 'ugh' inside.

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SecretSaucer

i recently disappointed my mom with my amazing ability to blow out all 22 candles on my birthday cake at once!

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yay
Boyfriends/girlfriends are stupid. Don't have sex, because it's kind of gross, it always complicates things, and you always come crying to me when it goes down the toilet. You people are all insane.

Loves it. I feel like I have that conversation with one of my friends every 2 months >__>

I understand sexual innuendo, jokes, etc. I'm pretty good at making them up myself, it's the serious sexual things I don't get. But anyway, here's a recent Asexy moment...

*People in room are watching a horror movie*

Guy: Hey, where did that guy come from? He was gone way too long!

Guy 2: I bet he was all snapping it in the shower.

Me: Snap what?

*HUGE LAUGHTER*

Me: No really, snap what?

Guy 1: It!

Me: What's "it"?

Guy 1: You know... "it"!

Me: No, I don't know...

Guy 2: Snapping it means wacking off.

Me: Why is it called snapping then? What is being snapped?

Guy 2: I don't know, don't overthink it!

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Tool1989
I had another one last night. I was at a party with a few of my old High School friends, who I hadn't seen in awhile. I was already expecting a lot of sex talk, because of the people there, but apparently I still fell short.

At one point, one of my buddies walked in with a big rainbow lollipop in an unusual shape. My first thought was that it was in the shape of a bone, but she had already dissolved the top part, so it was now more like a bubble-letter T. So, conclusions from that (in order):

1) They're all laughing because a bone is an unusual shape for a lollipop. They're usually Mickey Mouse heads or spirals or things like that. Not a bone.

2) They're laughing way too hard for that.

3) Well, 'bone' is a sexual term. Maybe they're laughing at that.

4) That's too roundabout. They probably wouldn't be laughing at that.

5) Maybe it's not in the shape of a bone. Maybe it's something else.

6) Oh ****. It's in the shape of male genitalia, isn't it.

Yes. Yes it was.

This whole thought process took about 15-20 minutes. It took the others about 2 seconds, if that.

One of them had bought it as a joke gift from Spencer's, I think.

Yup. I am the same way. I am so oblivious to jokes and stuff. :/

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