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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Incredibly Ace Moments

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popsicle

"Unscrewed but illuminating?" What? Wait...hahaha. Just got that...wow...

I don't get it... :unsure:

The picture shows a light bulb in someone's hands (i.e. not screwed into a socket, or "unscrewed") that is still giving off light in many colors.

"Unscrewed" also can mean that a person has not "screwed", which is a slang term for having sex. This is not to belittle the fact that some asexuals do choose to have sex, but it's a reasonable enough first-order approximation. "Illuminating" can also mean intellectually illuminating, which asexuals do by casting new light on the discourse about sexuality.

It's a pun, you see.

Thank you! Now I know there is a lightbulb on the top it makes a little more sense!

I knew what "unscrewed" meant, but "illuminating" made little sense to me in this case, hence the confusion!

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Sally

What kind of a T-shirt could there be that would express that the light bulb had been screwed but hated it? A lit-up, screwed-in bulb saying "ICK!"? A light bulb looking at the socket saying "Never again!"? Hmmm...

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Subieko

I remember in high school, I girl I sat next to in class started talking about her boyfriend and how they had kissed. All I could think was how unhygienic that would be. It's like spitting into each other's mouths, bleh!

It makes me sound like a little kid, because kissing grosses me out. *laughs* I actually make tons of jokes about porn, though. Mostly because the idea of it cracks me up.

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OwlSaint
Shortly after that I had another ace moment during the following conversation.

Sis: My boyfriend is coming over tonight. He'll probably crash in my room.

Me: Oh, that's right, you have the extra bed now. (Referring to Katie's bed)

Sis: Well, he's probably going to crash in my bed.

Me: Ooooh. *pause while I think about how uncomfortable it would be to fit two people on a twin bed* It's really obvious that I'm asexual, isn't it?

Sis: Yes.

LOL That sums up the dynamic between my sister and me for the past ten years.

I had another ace moment. The other day I was reading the definition of demisexual and I thought to myself, "that's just what sexual females are like." *thinks for 5 minutes* "Oh wait, you mean that women can be sexually attracted to people they don't already know?!?!?" :blink: haha I guess I am kind of out of touch.

I thought I was a butch bisexual women trapped in a man's body for the longest time because of that XD

And then I actually met women who were open about their sexuality.

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Cris

I had a bit of moment just last week, I was looking at a paintball magazine that had pictures of women barely dressed(bikinis and such) and the only thing I thought when I saw them was that no woman would be dressed like that in that situation and to laugh at the look of vague disgust every single one of them had on their faces. I think my coworkers are beginning to think I'm gay because of that and the fact that and I get a little dismissive when they tell me that I "need to get laid" <_<

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knoxroxmysox

Hmmm... I feel like any of these things could have happened to me and I would have reacted the same way. Except for the magic mushrooms. But anyway...

The "asexual moment" that comes back to me happened over the summer. I was with my boyfriend (first and last and highly regrettable) and we had gotten these giant Pepsi icees. He finished his off in about 5 minutes, but I was drinking mine more slowly.

I was drinking through a straw, so I was getting more liquid than ice, so I had to keep moving the straw around to get to the icee parts. The whole time, he was staring at me with this indescribable (amazed, hopeful, overjoyed, turned on?) look on his face. I ignored him, until he asked me "Do you have any idea what you look like doing that?"

I didn't. The only thing my mind could come up with was a butter churn. He proceeded to inform me that the correct answer was "oral sex."

Wow. :huh: Talk about the farthest thing from my mind, right?

Also, I was recently dragged into seeing Twilight with my two female cousins, my aunt, and my mom. They (including my mom!) spent the rest of the day drooling over Edward Cullen and the hot, sexy vampires. :mellow: I had absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation (to the relief of my brother, who was also sick of hearing them talk about him). It's not that I didn't like the movie. I thought it was good- or at least I cut it some slack since it was an adaptation/digest of a much lengthier book containing much more plot explanation and character development. My expectations going in were somewhat low. But my ONLY real opinion about the character of Edward Cullen is "his hair looks kind of funny." He's no more aesthetically attractive to me than most normal people. Apparently, this is... unusual.

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BalladOfJayne
A lit-up, screwed-in bulb saying "ICK!"?

Asexual moment: The opportunity to wear this shirt is the biggest incentive to have sex that I've ever had. I want to wear a shirt about a lightbulb weirded out by electricity.

I think my coworkers are beginning to think I'm gay because of that and the fact that and I get a little dismissive when they tell me that I "need to get laid"

Yeah, my sister thinks I'm a lesbian. She's already asked me once, and the other day she saw me reading about HOCD I think it's called. The thing where straight people with OCD think they're gay (I found the link here in another discussion thread). I was riveted because I'm fascinated by all things sexual (watching people hook up in bars is like watching a Trials of Life documentary to me), but my sister again asked me if I thought I might be HOCD. She always hurriedly tacks on, "It's okay with me if you are." which is sweet, but I'm getting a little tired of her asking. I really want to just tell her what the deal is, but have already decided to keep quiet until after the holidays. Whether it goes over well or not, I don't want to be the conversation starter at another big family dinner (it kind of sucks). Also, she's trying her damndest not to ask anymore, so it's not really coming up lately. It's rough for her, too, because I compulsively evaluate the bodies of other women (men too, but if you keep thinking I'm gay you may not notice that). It has nothing to do with sexual attraction, half the time I don't realize I do it, I'm just naturally drawn to pretty things, and to me the human body is really beautiful.

But my ONLY real opinion about the character of Edward Cullen is "his hair looks kind of funny."

THANK YOU. Everyone and their dog goes on about his hair being all gorgeous and sexy. The hell? I want to let him borrow a comb. I don't think he's gorgeous, either. He's good-looking in that there's nothing wrong with him way, but he isn't stunning by any stretch. He's just a guy who needs to brush his hair and is probably sick and tired of spending more time sparkling than most unicorns and pixies combined. Sorry, Twilight fans. Vampires should not look like they wear glitter makeup. It's just not right.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
Hmmm... I feel like any of these things could have happened to me and I would have reacted the same way. Except for the magic mushrooms. But anyway...

The "asexual moment" that comes back to me happened over the summer. I was with my boyfriend (first and last and highly regrettable) and we had gotten these giant Pepsi icees. He finished his off in about 5 minutes, but I was drinking mine more slowly.

I was drinking through a straw, so I was getting more liquid than ice, so I had to keep moving the straw around to get to the icee parts. The whole time, he was staring at me with this indescribable (amazed, hopeful, overjoyed, turned on?) look on his face. I ignored him, until he asked me "Do you have any idea what you look like doing that?"

I didn't. The only thing my mind could come up with was a butter churn. He proceeded to inform me that the correct answer was "oral sex."

Wow. :huh: Talk about the farthest thing from my mind, right?

Also, I was recently dragged into seeing Twilight with my two female cousins, my aunt, and my mom. They (including my mom!) spent the rest of the day drooling over Edward Cullen and the hot, sexy vampires. :mellow: I had absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation (to the relief of my brother, who was also sick of hearing them talk about him). It's not that I didn't like the movie. I thought it was good- or at least I cut it some slack since it was an adaptation/digest of a much lengthier book containing much more plot explanation and character development. My expectations going in were somewhat low. But my ONLY real opinion about the character of Edward Cullen is "his hair looks kind of funny." He's no more aesthetically attractive to me than most normal people. Apparently, this is... unusual.

How the HELL does moving a straw around in an Icee cup look like oral sex? You know what, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.

Ugh, Edward Cullen. I used to like Twilight before all the hype made me realize how stupid it was, and I was ticked off when Robert Pattinson was cast as Edward. Edward is supposed to be incredibly handsome, and Robert Pattinson is just not that good-looking. How is having your hair look like you just fell out of bed attractive?

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Harpsiccord
How the HELL does moving a straw around in an Icee cup look like oral sex? You know what, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.

I was wondering the same thing! Maybe she was doing it funny and it kind of... no, I don't see it. There's no way, no way it could look like that.

As for Edward-Patterson, I heard it said that he just isn't that into washing his hair.

Let's see... Asexual moment, Asexual moment to share... Ah! Let's see if this counts. While I was getting ready to go to the midwest Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender conference, my friend Ben was in my room reading one of my boy love (ok, just boy sex) comic books. He looked at me nervously and said "Can I... can I borrow this?"

I said "Yeah, sure, go ahead."

Weeks later, he came out to me as gay. When I didn't believe him, he said "Why do you think I wanted to borrow your comic with men having sex?"

Didn't occur to me to look at the comic in a sexual way. I know it sounds far fetched, but it's the truth.

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knoxroxmysox
How the HELL does moving a straw around in an Icee cup look like oral sex? You know what, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.

Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe he was just the type to see sex in everything. I kind of let it go at the time, since I don't exactly know what oral sex looks like. But from what I know about it, it would have to be quite a stretch to see a person drinking through a straw and immediately think of oral sex.

(Oh, if it wasn't clear- my mouth was still on the straw when I was shifting it around. That might help support the image. But seriously- who thinks like that?)

And I'm glad to see that other people agree about Twilight. :lol:

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Hayley

Hahaha, I love this thread. :D

I had a moment the other week where I was complaining to a friend that, during a night clubbing with my boyfriend, we went back to the hotel so he could change his shoes and ended up staying there. I was so annoyed that we didn't go back, even to say bye to my friends! Said friend was being subjected to a major rant about this, about how I'm too damn nice to say 'no', how rude it was, blah blah blah.

She kind of stared at me for a moment as if I was stupid, then laughed. "You're so asexual - I'd *love* it if my man whisked me off to a hotel room!"

"But I was talking to- oh. :blush: "

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Feylin
And when we were given bananas and asked to put condoms on them, I just casually peeled and ate mine.

:lol: If I was a guy I totally would have done that

At my school all the gym/health classes do that in gr. 9, girls and guys. (Separate classes, but both genders do the condom on banana part.)

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sakura_alice

My girl friends (and a guy, lol) were all talking about what kind of guys are hot, and one of them turns to me and asks, "so, what do you like in a guy?" Being truthful, I said, "*shrug* I don't know," which was apparently a really confusing answer because she looked really confused and said, "what? how can you not know?" So I made up an answer saying I like goth guys. Which isn't a lie, but that's not the deciding factor for me. Personality always comes first, because a hottie can still be a douche.

On any given day, I'm the last to understand a sexual innuendo or pay much attention to a sex scene during a movie. Friends will talk about how "hot and sexy that part was", while I'll have really liked some other car chase scene or something.

Oh, that reminds me. Anyone like the movie Legend with Tom Cruise? It's about unicorns and the devil and stuff, lol. (funny short story, when I tried to sum up the movie to a friend who'd never seen it, I said, "It's about Tom Cruise saving the unicorns!" My friend about laughed to death and I then realized how weird that sounded) Anyways, it always annoyed me how they changed the movie to better appeal to American audiences. At the beginning, they took the kissing scene from the end (he used it to bring her back to life) and put it in reverse so that it looked like they were making out or about to have sex or something. <_< Small factor, I know, but still irked me. Jack was supposed to be a naive forest child who just had a good heart and didn't know about that kind of love stuff.

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momotroniuity

In my senior year of High School, My physics class was watching a movie, as it was the last day before the start of winter break, well anyway, there was a scene with some sort of kissing or brief nudity... I wouldn't know as for the entire time, I was mindlessly doodling, out of boredom.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Phone conversation between me and a friend.

Him: You know the guy Deep Throat who outed Nixon? He got the name from a popular porno at the time.

Me: What? I thought it was because he had a gravelly voice.

Him: No, it was the name of a blow-job porno. But you wouldn't know that, you're "[my given name] No Gag Reflex [my surname]."

Me: Actually, I think I have a gag reflex, it's just very insensitive.

Him: Oh, so you've been experimenting.

Me: Yeah, see, a few nights ago I ate way too much for dinner and...*it hits me*...oh, fuck you.

Walked right into that one...

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zoidberger

oy vey, nice phone convo.

but really? Deep Throat wasn't just his name because of the voice? :(

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knoxroxmysox
oy vey, nice phone convo.

but really? Deep Throat wasn't just his name because of the voice? :(

If so, that's news to me. I think that person just got bad information.

EDIT:

Nevermind. I just checked wikipedia.

Howard Simons, the managing editor of the Post during Watergate, dubbed the secret informant "Deep Throat" as an allusion to the notorious eponymous pornographic movie which was a mainstream cause célèbre at the time. The name was also a play on the journalism term "deep background," referring to information provided by a secret source that, by agreement, will not be reported directly.

I really thought it was the low, gravelly voice. This is horrifying news.

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Sally
Howard Simons, the managing editor of the Post during Watergate, dubbed the secret informant "Deep Throat" as an allusion to the notorious eponymous pornographic movie which was a mainstream cause célèbre at the time. The name was also a play on the journalism term "deep background," referring to information provided by a secret source that, by agreement, will not be reported directly.

I really thought it was the low, gravelly voice. This is horrifying news.

That's America for you.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
Howard Simons, the managing editor of the Post during Watergate, dubbed the secret informant "Deep Throat" as an allusion to the notorious eponymous pornographic movie which was a mainstream cause célèbre at the time. The name was also a play on the journalism term "deep background," referring to information provided by a secret source that, by agreement, will not be reported directly.

I really thought it was the low, gravelly voice. This is horrifying news.

That's America for you.

Yeah, later in the conversation when my friend managed to convince me that it really was the name of a porno and not the gravelly voice, I said, "I hate humanity." But I suppose America could be blamed too :P

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Vermeulen

I love this thread.

I liked twilight but I don't find the main characters atrative or whatever. I just love the characters personalities like the cullins and I can identify with edward and bella allot appart from the sexuality thing. I actualy had a dream where I had a camio in the twilight movie that required me to dance with Robbert pattinson, it was great, we did a ballroom dance thing, I love dancing even though I'm bad at it. Then we drank cokes and talked and I told him that he was looking unwell in all the promotional inteviews and that I think he needs some time off to rest. I don't even remember the dancing part, I just remember that at one part we were going to dance and the next thing I knew the dance was over.

My moment was going to see the movie cars with my family as part of a chirstmas tradition. There's this scene in which the boy car and the girl car almost kiss but not quite. I felt so uncomfortable, I closed my eyes, put my head on my knees and covered my ears. My family has not stopped laughing about this incident to this day.

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Mikayla

The summer after grade 11, I went to a French Immersion course. We had a lot of dishes that none of us had heard of before with strange names. Anyways, one of them was called something orgy (or however you spell it), and a bunch of people I was in line with for food were laughing about it. I asked what was so funny, and they said that it was called orgy. I asked "what's an orgy?" They all looked at me awkwardly, and mumbled something. I took the hint and asked another friend later, in private.

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Harpsiccord

That's pretty bleeping funny, Hear*Listen (That's going to get awkward to call you after a while. Mind if I just call you M?)

Twilight... Knox, I have a rude name for those books that I won't repeat here. It kind of occurs to me that if I were to hate on them I'd be kind of a hypocrite... is this not so? I mean, Bella and Edward don't have sex (not out of asexuality, but still...) and when they do, it fades to black. I feel like that should be right up my ally. If it weren't for all the rest of that stuff...

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knoxroxmysox
That's pretty bleeping funny, Hear*Listen (That's going to get awkward to call you after a while. Mind if I just call you M?)

Twilight... Knox, I have a rude name for those books that I won't repeat here. It kind of occurs to me that if I were to hate on them I'd be kind of a hypocrite... is this not so? I mean, Bella and Edward don't have sex (not out of asexuality, but still...) and when they do, it fades to black. I feel like that should be right up my ally. If it weren't for all the rest of that stuff...

I haven't actually read the books (yet. Apparently, the same cousins decided to get me the book for Christmas and could not be talked out of it), so I can only comment on the movie and what I heard about the books. And the drooling fangirls.

My friend's brother, however, read them and decided they were the most blatantly anti-feminist books he had ever read. (Guess I'll find out after Christmas, eh?)

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Nedge

i blend in with sexuals easily for the most part. i get all the dirty/sexual jokes (mostly) and i can have a pretty dirty mind when times call for it.. though i usually use it for comedic purposes haha. while reading this thread.. at first i felt that i didnt really have any ace moments... but then when i read a few about people missing flirting.. something came to mind.. though even now.. im not quite sure if it was flirting or people just making fun of me ):

well last summer i went on this month long summer camp in taiwan that was supposed to teach overseas chinese kids about the culture. though really, the camp is notorious for wild partying and romance. or something. the nickname is freaking LOVE BOAT. anyway... i managed to make very good friends with my roommates and some others and there was this guy, ill call him Matt.

somewhere down the line, i dont know how it started, we were suddenly in a "relationship" in which i was the guy (im a female btw) and he was the girl. the majority of this "relationship" consisted of him wanting to hold my hand, me wanting to 'break up' cuz he at the time had a real gf, then him saying things like how he didnt like having such a girly short bf, and me yet again suggesting me break up, and having him say he wanted to stay in a 'relationship'

i just thought it was some sort of really funny, stupid, and twisted roleplay. yet i think most everyone decided that we were flirting. a few of my friends i still keep in touch with like to bring him up. ask if we've hung out or anything (we happen to go to the same uni.. so it dun help matters) and they poke fun like.. oh did he break your heart? or oh, hes not with his old gf anymore.. go get him! what really REALLY gets me peeved is not that my camp friends poke fun like that.. cuz somehow that seems more expected to me. my friends at home, and later on my friends at uni, when i told them a few stories about camp, one of them being about me and Matt, everyone seemed to decide that there was a little something going on between me and him! its like somehow people can see chemistry through a little story where in reality i dont even feel friendly enough to call or hang out with him even when we live on the same campus!

i mean.. to a certain extent maybe in hindsight i can say maybe we were flirting with me playing hard to get.. but i honestly dont see it.

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kt8

Yesterday I was showing my (highly sexual) friend a picture of my crush and she made the remark, "Aww, he's such a cutie! He's actually really good looking! Good for you."

And I responded in my head: "I wouldn't know. I've never thought of it that way." :P

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Nez

That band that I was in is having a reunion and one of the songs they want to play is Sex on Fire by the Kings of Leon. I play bass, and let me tell you - the bass line to that song is about as boring as its title.

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eralkfang

I have big hands- it's all proportional, but in the game of "Whose Hand Is Bigger?", I beat every girl I know. While hanging out with some friends, I remarked on the small size of a friend's hands. She retorted that the smaller your hands are, the better sex you have.

"Well, hot damn!" I said, looking down at my hands. "No wonder I'm asexual!"

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Hypatia7

Funnily enough I had an ace moment just a few days ago that made me realize just how asexual I am.

I work in a bookshop and the other day an old collegue came in to do his Christmas shopping and stopped to chat for a while with everyone. We had already said goodbye when I see him coming back to me from upstairs and he stopped to aske me if two of the other members of staff where a couple. I looked at him nonplussed and told him: "No, of course not. What made you think that?". He looked at me as if to say "well, isn't that obvious?" but didn't say anything and left.

It's so happened that the night after we all went to the pub for drinks after work and I found myself sitting next to the presumed couple and I noticed that his hand was on her thigh the whole time we were in the pub, and that, even to my untrained asexual eyes ,did not seem like the right place for a friend's hand to be. I went home thinking: "How asexual am I to have not noticed that before today?"

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Maxx1128

I don't have many asexy moments, but I can think of my most asexy moment as of late.

It was during lunch at the cafeteria, and while we were eating there was one garbage can to our right. Suddenly some idiot pushes a second one towards us very quietly, and I look over and notice that there's another one suddenly there. I point out to my friend that another garbage can suddenly showed up, and he exclaimed "It's asexual!" (It reproduced by itself) I just remember averting my eyes from his for a moment, and hoping he went back to talking to the others. Thankfully he did.

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knoxroxmysox

Damn double posts...

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