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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Incredibly Ace Moments

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Aimeendfire
1) I was 15. Friends talked about masturbation. I (curiously): What's that? I don't remeber exactly how they explained it but I understood it includes touching your penis. Back at home I was eager to try it, but nothing happened.

:lol:

I didn't know what it was either when I was about 13. My friends were making a joke and it led to a store being named masturbate..my reaction was like yours.

Whats that?

They didn't tell me though..they just laughed T_T

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popsicle

Teagan, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I understand sex jokes and find them funny, in fact, my friends say I have a dirty mind because I’m the person most likely to find a sexual innuendo (I’m rubbish at that Dirty Minds game because I can’t think of the clean answers! :P)

I can point out people I like, although it’s rare and not something I’ll bring up unless it’s already the conversation topic. I also enjoy sex scenes in films/TV/books etc, and appreciate women in films/TV that I’m aesthetically attracted to.

I don't like sexually orientated words though, I tend to cringe when others say them, and I tend to imply rather than say it outright.

So really I don’t display the characteristics other asexuals seem to, other than I don’t feel sexually attracted to individuals, and don’t feel the need to have sex.

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spinelli
Teagan, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I understand sex jokes and find them funny, in fact, my friends say I have a dirty mind because I’m the person most likely to find a sexual innuendo (I’m rubbish at that Dirty Minds game because I can’t think of the clean answers! :P)

I can point out people I like, although it’s rare and not something I’ll bring up unless it’s already the conversation topic. I also enjoy sex scenes in films/TV/books etc, and appreciate women in films/TV that I’m aesthetically attracted to.

I don't like sexually orientated words though, I tend to cringe when others say them, and I tend to imply rather than say it outright.

So really I don’t display the characteristics other asexuals seem to, other than I don’t feel sexually attracted to individuals, and don’t feel the need to have sex.

I'm totally like that!

*Hi-fives*

=P

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LL Cool R

I have not much to add or already told my stories elsewhere, but I just wanted to say how I really love this thread!

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epithet
Teagan, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I understand sex jokes and find them funny, in fact, my friends say I have a dirty mind because I’m the person most likely to find a sexual innuendo (I’m rubbish at that Dirty Minds game because I can’t think of the clean answers! :P)

I can point out people I like, although it’s rare and not something I’ll bring up unless it’s already the conversation topic. I also enjoy sex scenes in films/TV/books etc, and appreciate women in films/TV that I’m aesthetically attracted to.

I don't like sexually orientated words though, I tend to cringe when others say them, and I tend to imply rather than say it outright.

So really I don’t display the characteristics other asexuals seem to, other than I don’t feel sexually attracted to individuals, and don’t feel the need to have sex.

I'm totally like that!

*Hi-fives*

=P

Haha, to clear my track record, I do have a reputation with many of my friends for coming up with some incredibly suggestive offhand remarks. This was not the case when I was twelve. But I guess, depending on the situation these days, sexual humor can pretty second nature to me (I had to really reel it in a while ago when I realized I had some trouble toeing the line, but I'm better now :rolleyes: ).

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BalladOfJayne
I've always been able to pretend to be fully sexual. I've always understood all the sex jokes, I've always been able to identify someone I "like", etc. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in movies but I definitely enjoy hot guys in movies. I know how sexuals are supposed to act. I'm just fairly certain I'm not one... it's very weird.

This is me, too! I can be attracted to the image of someone, I guess (like an actor on my TV), but it's usually at least partially based on something like talent as opposed to just looks, and I've found that when I meet crushes in person (as has happened on a few occasions) it's like a switch is shut off and there's nothing there because, hey, he's just a person. I can go back to watching him on screen and getting all fangirly the next day, too. I really think it's just an aesthetics thing.

I also never get how people get all effusive about the Big Couples on TV shows or movies who are apparently sexy and intriguing, like Logan and Veronica on Veronica Mars. I don't see passion or romance when I look at them, I just see incredibly dysfunctional people who let lust interfere with better judgement. I find myself getting invested with relationships that are functional and based more in friendship than passion (don't even get me started on how Mac and Cassidy ended up, because it still depresses me). I just don't see sexual relationships in entertainment as attractive.

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SpaceBat
I've always been able to pretend to be fully sexual. I've always understood all the sex jokes, I've always been able to identify someone I "like", etc. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in movies but I definitely enjoy hot guys in movies. I know how sexuals are supposed to act. I'm just fairly certain I'm not one... it's very weird.

This is me, too! I can be attracted to the image of someone, I guess (like an actor on my TV), but it's usually at least partially based on something like talent as opposed to just looks, and I've found that when I meet crushes in person (as has happened on a few occasions) it's like a switch is shut off and there's nothing there because, hey, he's just a person. I can go back to watching him on screen and getting all fangirly the next day, too. I really think it's just an aesthetics thing.

I also never get how people get all effusive about the Big Couples on TV shows or movies who are apparently sexy and intriguing, like Logan and Veronica on Veronica Mars. I don't see passion or romance when I look at them, I just see incredibly dysfunctional people who let lust interfere with better judgement. I find myself getting invested with relationships that are functional and based more in friendship than passion (don't even get me started on how Mac and Cassidy ended up, because it still depresses me). I just don't see sexual relationships in entertainment as attractive.

I feel just like this! Like, I'm attracted to the way people look, I can identify who I have 'crushes' on. I love to snuggle and be close and talk, and have good relationships. Just, whenever things start to lead to sex and kissing, I get bored. Very, very bored. My current relationship, though, I love the stupid boy :blush: so I make compromises.

But back to the main idea of this thread, I guess my moment is more like a string of moments. Whenever I would be kissing someone, or seeing sex scenes in movies, I would see the person getting all into it, like it was something they had to be doing to fully enjoy life. I used to think everyone was always faking the extreme interest like I do, just I never understood why. I mean, I get the whole 'we need sex to have babies thing', but I never got why people would want to be sexual any other time. So I brought it up with my friends while watching a movie once.. I don't remember which movie, I just recall getting some very strange looks. I believe someone told me to wait till my hormones kicked in, as well. Which I, of course, was confused by :lol:

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chipmunkgirl
I always kick a lot of ass at Never Have I Ever.

Me too... but I hate that game! Every time it's my turn I try hard to think of something, anything, not sexually related. Never have I ever been to Europe. And ten fingers... they're games that you almost don't want to win because they make you stick out like a sore thumb...

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zoidberger
I always kick a lot of ass at Never Have I Ever.

Me too... but I hate that game! Every time it's my turn I try hard to think of something, anything, not sexually related. Never have I ever been to Europe. And ten fingers... they're games that you almost don't want to win because they make you stick out like a sore thumb...

ugh I hate the never have I ever game as well... also the truth or dare. It sucks because everyone judges completely during those and I always hoped that I wouldn't get asked to say or do something crazy.

My first kiss came off a dare by one of my best friends and I still hold it against them :P

I liked the jenga truth or dare... the worst that could happen was that you had to dance with a mop or something

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Cazz333
Teagan, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I understand sex jokes and find them funny, in fact, my friends say I have a dirty mind because I’m the person most likely to find a sexual innuendo (I’m rubbish at that Dirty Minds game because I can’t think of the clean answers! :P)

I can point out people I like, although it’s rare and not something I’ll bring up unless it’s already the conversation topic. I also enjoy sex scenes in films/TV/books etc, and appreciate women in films/TV that I’m aesthetically attracted to.

I don't like sexually orientated words though, I tend to cringe when others say them, and I tend to imply rather than say it outright.

So really I don’t display the characteristics other asexuals seem to, other than I don’t feel sexually attracted to individuals, and don’t feel the need to have sex.

Same. Some people think I'm sexually confident until they see me wearing shirts. Then they think, "Oh, not possible." :lol:

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popsicle

*high fives* Teagan and Cazz!

I'm glad I'm not the only asexual who has a similar mindset towards sexually-related topics as most sexuals! I was beginning to think I was the only one! :D

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Shinnok
I don't like to watch movies with my family, cuz I know there will probably be sex scene or something like that and I know I would feel embarrassed. :rolleyes:

Same reason I'm not fond of watching movies with my family. I hate being in the same room with them when there's a sex scene on TV (especially the weird ones like on horror movies) I just kind of sink into the chair or floor I'm sitting on

I can't think of any ace moments I've had but I know I've had a lot

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HD Ready

I've had my dad ask me when I'm getting a gf...... I told him probably never..... and he was like well you should get a gf anyways and I replied.......And why would I want to do that?

That shut him up :P

Another instance was last week when a workmate brought his new gf into work. I was asked by another workmate if she was pretty.... I couldn't answer as I had no idea. She kept wanting to know what I thought.... so I said dunno hey..... average I guess........ I'm the worst person to ask if someone is attractive. and left it at that

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Billie

A friend: 'Hey, you got something on your hair'

Me: 'What'?

Friend picks up the 'something' and shows me: a small sticker with a G on it, probably from a t-shirt I had tried on previously

Friend: 'Now we know where your G-spot is'

She knows I'm ace and that made us laugh so hard that day :lol:

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
A friend: 'Hey, you got something on your hair'

Me: 'What'?

Friend picks up the 'something' and shows me: a small sticker with a G on it, probably from a t-shirt I had tried on previously

Friend: 'Now we know where your G-spot is'

She knows I'm ace and that made us laugh so hard that day :lol:

I just had another ace moment; I have no idea what the above post is talking about. :P

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zoidberger
I've had my dad ask me when I'm getting a gf...... I told him probably never..... and he was like well you should get a gf anyways and I replied.......And why would I want to do that?

That shut him up :P

Another instance was last week when a workmate brought his new gf into work. I was asked by another workmate if she was pretty.... I couldn't answer as I had no idea. She kept wanting to know what I thought.... so I said dunno hey..... average I guess........ I'm the worst person to ask if someone is attractive. and left it at that

One time I was out at a bar on a pub crawl and wound up dancing crazily with this one girl. It was so obvious that we were both being absolutely ridiculous as everyone else was grinding and we were swing/silly dancing! Anyways she told me that she was a lesbian and I said, "ok, cool," and then she started hounding me about what I would rate her on a scale of 1 to 10. I tried to tell her I had never done such a thing before and wouldn't even know where to start with such a thing... after about 10 minutes of nagging I finally just gave in and gave her a high number to make her feel good... (I guess that's why one would want to be rated?)

haha the G-spot story is funny! :P

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Matt

I suppose this counts:

Some of us went out to a club and we met our ex-flatmate, who was drunk, and ended up making out with two of the other people in our flat (one of them being a girl, even though both of them are straight :huh: (as far as I can tell at least)) and apparently being sexually attracted in a third (who she hadn't met before, as he moved into her old room). The fact that she showed no interest in me was not at all upsetting in any way (apart from not seeming to even see me, but I'm used to it). To be fair, there were two other guys in our group, but one has a girlfriend and the other the ex-flatmate hadn't met before (friend of the new guy). I can explain it in a way that would not in any way negatively impact on me (not that I need such things), but a complete absence of jealousy is probably not 'normal'.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen

This is my most ace moment ever, as well as my nerdiest.

Me: We've been studying DNA replication in AP Bio. It makes me so happy; genetics is the shit.

Friend: If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Me: I'd be topoisomerase because it has a cool name!

*friend and surrounding friends snicker for a while*

Me: Wait...that was sexual, wasn't it?

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Face

All the mentions of games remind me of my birthday two years ago (after I chickened out of my first Aven meet). I ended up going back to my housemates and playing some sexual charades games. I did Ok as like Popsicle I'm perfectly aware of innuendo and most sexual refernces. There were quite a few terms that I didn't have a clue about but then a lot of my housemates didn't know the worst of them either and some of them went on about sex all the time. I have a useless memory for words so don't remember them now.

If I have to choose an asexy moment it was when I had taken some magic mushrooms a few years ago before the UK banned them. I remember going to a bar with my friend and ended staring into the eyes of a relatively attractive woman while my friend chatted to her friend. I probably talked a bit but I'm useless at holding that type of conversation and was a bit disociated. To this day I wonder if she was expecting me to go somewhere with it. I still don't know if that would been seen as flirting.

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OwlSaint

I was watching twilight in theaters with my brother's girlfriend (who I'm actually good friends with, even though I'm constantly telling her to dump my brother [who I strongly dislike]) and another female friend of ours and the previews were going. They informed me that the current advert was one that they really liked and they were watching it entrancedly. After it was over I told them I didn't think it was clever or amusing and didn't understand why they liked it.

They then proceded to note about all the "cute" shirtless guys that were in it.

This friend still thinks I'm gay because I decided the first time we met (a slumber party) that telling everyone I was gay would be easier than explaining asexuality. And also I thought girls liked hanging around with gay guys. Anyways more into the movie I noted at the way the female character was able to talk about juicy details about her crush with her mother and noted this, to which she replied, "don't you talk boys with your mom?"

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BalladOfJayne
If I have to choose an asexy moment it was when I had taken some magic mushrooms a few years ago before the UK banned them. I remember going to a bar with my friend and ended staring into the eyes of a relatively attractive woman while my friend chatted to her friend. I probably talked a bit but I'm useless at holding that type of conversation and was a bit disociated. To this day I wonder if she was expecting me to go somewhere with it. I still don't know if that would been seen as flirting.

I always miss this, too. I've gotten better at spotting flirthing now, but it still can take a few hours (weeks, months). Once several years ago I went out to dinner with some of my friends and a singer and his entourage (one of us won a contest, I think). We went to a pub afterwards and the singer's manager kept harrassing me about being a librarian (which was what I was doing at the time) after I made the mistake of mentioning it was a job people often connotated with middle-aged cat-owning women. He kept going on about how some guys like the idea of seeing girls like myself as a librarian because it would make them think of me wearing a suit with glasses and my hair (long and blonde, by the way) in a bun. "Then," he explained. "You take your glasses off and let your hair down." I laughed and asked him if he saw that stunningly original teen fantasy on an episode of Family Ties, but he kept bringing it up, and would go off about the zen of libraries until I wanted to kick him in the face. The next day I was still bitching about it with my friends, who would not stop laughing at me, until I stopped and was like, "...Oh my GOD. Was he flirting with me?" To this day, I have never lived my complete cluelessness down.

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CrazyCatLover

This morning, I dropped by my sister's dorm to ask if she needed the car today. I noticed that her roommate's (Katie) side of the room was completely empty and asked "Is Katie coming back?" My sister said that Katie wasn't sure. Later, while walking into the bookstore, a young woman stopped us to ask if we would fill out a survey for her pyschology class. Turns out it was pictures of men's torsos with a rating scale underneath each one. Hello, human flesh. I rank all but two of them as neutral (those two got a "negative" rating). I did tell the woman that I was asexual and she said that it would make her results better. That's good.

Shortly after that I had another ace moment during the following conversation.

Sis: My boyfriend is coming over tonight. He'll probably crash in my room.

Me: Oh, that's right, you have the extra bed now. (Referring to Katie's bed)

Sis: Well, he's probably going to crash in my bed.

Me: Ooooh. *pause while I think about how uncomfortable it would be to fit two people on a twin bed* It's really obvious that I'm asexual, isn't it?

Sis: Yes.

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kitchenwitch

I made a sex joke the other day and all of my friends applauded and took note of it down in the house journal we all keep collaboratively. Because I never, ever, ever make sex jokes.

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January08

The one that comes to mind, right now, is the time when I was in my teens, and raving about this ballet couple who were pretty famous at the time. Margot Fonteyne and Rudolph Nureyev. I had a sort of crush on them. By crush, I mean that I loved the way that there was no sexual energy between them, and I thought it was because they were so dedicated to their art. I thought this was romantic, and wonderfully clean. When a friend of mine pointed out that Nureyev was gay, I was furious. I didn't want to think of him that way. I was angry and disgusted with her for saying that. This was definitely an asexual moment, to me.

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Euonym

You know that "Unscrewed but Illuminating" t-shirt that's in the AVEN store? I just figured out what it was talking about. I probably first saw that shirt two years ago. I'm asexual, can you tell?

~Psmith

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X Phoenix X
Shortly after that I had another ace moment during the following conversation.

Sis: My boyfriend is coming over tonight. He'll probably crash in my room.

Me: Oh, that's right, you have the extra bed now. (Referring to Katie's bed)

Sis: Well, he's probably going to crash in my bed.

Me: Ooooh. *pause while I think about how uncomfortable it would be to fit two people on a twin bed* It's really obvious that I'm asexual, isn't it?

Sis: Yes.

LOL That sums up the dynamic between my sister and me for the past ten years.

I had another ace moment. The other day I was reading the definition of demisexual and I thought to myself, "that's just what sexual females are like." *thinks for 5 minutes* "Oh wait, you mean that women can be sexually attracted to people they don't already know?!?!?" :blink: haha I guess I am kind of out of touch.

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you*hear*but*do*you*listen
You know that "Unscrewed but Illuminating" t-shirt that's in the AVEN store? I just figured out what it was talking about. I probably first saw that shirt two years ago. I'm asexual, can you tell?

~Psmith

"Unscrewed but illuminating?" What? Wait...hahaha. Just got that...wow...

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popsicle
You know that "Unscrewed but Illuminating" t-shirt that's in the AVEN store? I just figured out what it was talking about. I probably first saw that shirt two years ago. I'm asexual, can you tell?

~Psmith

"Unscrewed but illuminating?" What? Wait...hahaha. Just got that...wow...

I don't get it... :unsure:

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Hallucigenia

"Unscrewed but illuminating?" What? Wait...hahaha. Just got that...wow...

I don't get it... :unsure:

The picture shows a light bulb in someone's hands (i.e. not screwed into a socket, or "unscrewed") that is still giving off light in many colors.

"Unscrewed" also can mean that a person has not "screwed", which is a slang term for having sex. This is not to belittle the fact that some asexuals do choose to have sex, but it's a reasonable enough first-order approximation. "Illuminating" can also mean intellectually illuminating, which asexuals do by casting new light on the discourse about sexuality.

It's a pun, you see.

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