Jump to content

Incredibly Ace Moments


you*hear*but*do*you*listen

Recommended Posts

To Each Their Own
24 minutes ago, SuzSays said:

Once, when I was in college, my roommate and her boyfriend were in the shower together when another one of my male friends came over to our apartment. When my roommate got out of the shower and dressed, and she and her boyfriend were leaving, my friend made a joke to her - something along the lines of "Don't be surprised if Suz and I are in the shower together when you get back," to which I inadvertently replied "Ew" as a first instinct. Apparently, replying "ew" at the thought of sex is offensive to heterosexuals. *shrug* 

Really? You’re not supposed to say “ew”? That explains a lot! Thank you. 

  • Like 11
Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, SuzSays said:

Once, when I was in college, my roommate and her boyfriend were in the shower together when another one of my male friends came over to our apartment. When my roommate got out of the shower and dressed, and she and her boyfriend were leaving, my friend made a joke to her - something along the lines of "Don't be surprised if Suz and I are in the shower together when you get back," to which I inadvertently replied "Ew" as a first instinct. Apparently, replying "ew" at the thought of sex is offensive to heterosexuals. *shrug* 

It's probably not that you saying ew to sex is what offended him.  He was probably offended because you said ew to sex with him.  Because everyone wants to have sex, right?  And since you said ew, it has to be because the idea of having sex with him in particular is what is offensive.  At least in his mind.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777
On 12/6/2017 at 4:36 AM, :)(: said:

I was one of thoses people that though kissing meant kids.I also only thought you had two holes instead of three for a while. Tampons were never an option so I never really thought about it. They tried to show the sex Ed video but ignored it partially cuz they separated boys from girls and that made me mad and I think I hated to see what made us different?That was in elementary (why scar us so young). And I’m middle school we were in groups and everyone else labeled the paper of the various parts. I figured out a lot through bio books

I think I may have wanted to go to the boy's puberty talk in 5th grade.  :ph34r:  I remember asking this one boy afterwards if their talk involved hairy armpits.  Silly me, I didn't even think about the "most important" one.  Of all the testosterone puberty things, I only thought about growing hair in armpits.

 

16 hours ago, Zash said:

It's probably not that you saying ew to sex is what offended him.  He was probably offended because you said ew to sex with him.  Because everyone wants to have sex, right?  And since you said ew, it has to be because the idea of having sex with him in particular is what is offensive.  At least in his mind.

Growing up, I told my parents I didn't like flowers.  I was asked, "what if a guy gives you some?"  Over the years, I've had answers like straight up say I don't want them or take it into the house and forget about it.  That is so aro of me, haha.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

Haha! Maybe the general population is catching on.....

 

I had an incredibly ace week! It was only at the end of it that I realised I was oblivious! My new team manager is a man, very nice and helpful person, so I made sure to be polite to him and say hello, ask loads of advice,  thanks, etc. .....little realising that he probably thought I was making some kind of overture. When he started to blank me on Thursday, for no apparent reason, I kinda wondered why.....little does he know, I'm just being polite! When did people get so defensive....and, heck, I'm almost 60! 

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, chandrakirti said:

Haha! Maybe the general population is catching on.....

 

I had an incredibly ace week! It was only at the end of it that I realised I was oblivious! My new team manager is a man, very nice and helpful person, so I made sure to be polite to him and say hello, ask loads of advice,  thanks, etc. .....little realising that he probably thought I was making some kind of overture. When he started to blank me on Thursday, for no apparent reason, I kinda wondered why.....little does he know, I'm just being polite! When did people get so defensive....and, heck, I'm almost 60! 

There's a new neighbour moved into my road. Split from her husband, and now living with her two teenage daughters and their dog. I'm probably 15 years older, and we ended up chatting and having a cuppa recently. She seems really lively and interesting and would make a good friend. But how to develop a friendship without appearing to want to date her? She has a new boyfriend too, she tells me, and I'm sure he doesn't want me hanging around his new girlfriend. Probably an opportunity for a new friend lost. Shame.

 

I should probably have posted this in Asexual Problems, but heh, this is close enough. 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
On 11/14/2017 at 10:10 AM, Lotta_Biscotti said:

I did have to sign a form at one point saying Nope, I'm Really Not Pregnant, I Promise.

Where can I get my hands on that form? 🤣

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
On 12/5/2017 at 6:42 AM, dragon_nerd said:

Ugh, achey boobs suck. Mine ache before my period too

Yep. Mine too. I backed out of my chair too hard the other day and yeah...I felt that rebound. 😢

 

Plus my dad and my stepmom were in the room, so it took every fiber of my being to not instinctively grab and cradle my chest. 🤣

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
On 12/8/2017 at 5:33 AM, CFilipek said:

Dudes. I'm not going to lie...some of those things made my eyes roll so far into the back of my head I saw brain.

 

Stepping on a crunchy leaf...*bites lip* 😍

 

Yeah, I would say that's better than sex. Of course being asexual, EVERYTHING is better than sex. But still...🤣

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
nerdperson777
6 hours ago, Pixley said:

Dudes. I'm not going to lie...some of those things made my eyes roll so far into the back of my head I saw brain.

 

Stepping on a crunchy leaf...*bites lip* 😍

 

Yeah, I would say that's better than sex. Of course being asexual, EVERYTHING is better than sex. But still...🤣

I liked the time I heard on this forum about the hairspray "Better than sex" and then for an ace that would not be a very high standard.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

Things better then sex objectively some told to me by heterosexuals.

 

1.  Doing 150+ on a motorcycle.

2.  Skydiving.

3.  Shooting a dual .50 BMG machine gun mount.

4.  Blowing things up (for the government.)

5.  Shooting small arms.

6.  Cannabis.

 

A very short list of the top things that are better than sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lotta_Biscotti

@Pixley I don't know what it was called. It was a single sheet. I wanna say that one was for the MRI, which doesn't seem like it makes sense in retrospect, but I remember being like "wtf. ...Why is this even relevant?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Quasar.w, that post you have quoted was from a spammer, ignore it 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Quasar.w said:

Ah ok, thanks! I was really just like "why is someone posting this here without warning!?"

better still - edit your comment to remove the link

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I had one a while ago when I was out with my best friend. He knows I'm ace and he usually subtly warns me before talking about his sex life so I can stop him if I want to, as I'm usually perfectly happy chatting about sex as long as it has nothing to do with me, but some days I'd rather just forget it exists at all. So this time the phrase he used was: "I know, you won't be as excited about this as I am, but..."  And I understood what he meant and was primed to think about sex related things. Then he told me about how in his new flat the ceiling light in the bedroom was fixed to a weight bearing beam with a pretty sturdy hook. Despite having been told that the reason this was exciting had to do with sex I first thought of hanging up some aerial acrobatics gear (like a trapeze and aerial silks), then of a really heavy chandelier, before realising what he meant. 

Spoiler

He meant you could use it for a sex swing or something along those lines. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Dodoa said:

I had one a while ago when I was out with my best friend. He knows I'm ace and he usually subtly warns me before talking about his sex life so I can stop him if I want to, as I'm usually perfectly happy chatting about sex as long as it has nothing to do with me, but some days I'd rather just forget it exists at all. So this time the phrase he used was: "I know, you won't be as excited about this as I am, but..."  And I understood what he meant and was primed to think about sex related things. Then he told me about how in his new flat the ceiling light in the bedroom was fixed to a weight bearing beam with a pretty sturdy hook. Despite having been told that the reason this was exciting had to do with sex I first thought of hanging up some aerial acrobatics gear (like a trapeze and aerial silks), then of a really heavy chandelier, before realising what he meant. 

  Hide contents

He meant you could use it for a sex swing or something along those lines. 

 

What's a sex swing? If it's like swings on playgrounds then I'm confused, how does that have anything to do with sex?

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

My best one is when someone told me when I was a bit younger that he had sex and caused his partner to put a bun in the oven - I had never heard the term before and was baffled how he had forced his girlfriend to do baking and what it had to do with sex ???

 

But then being Autistic as well I tend to take things literally anyway - The GP soon learnt not to say " Take a seat" when I went in, I always asked him to where and why ?

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10.12.2017 at 12:15 PM, Warsaw said:

Things better then sex objectively some told to me by heterosexuals.

 

1.  Doing 150+ on a motorcycle.

2.  Skydiving.

3.  Shooting a dual .50 BMG machine gun mount.

4.  Blowing things up (for the government.)

5.  Shooting small arms.

6.  Cannabis.

 

A very short list of the top things that are better than sex.

7. Caaake

#incrediblyace

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate

Had a customer come into my work yesterday and explain to me that older me were better lovers because "we know how to touch a woman" and "we know what they really want, both in bed and as a partner." It was very awkward and all I could do was stand there and go mmhhhm. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
2 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Had a customer come into my work yesterday and explain to me that older me were better lovers because "we know how to touch a woman" and "we know what they really want, both in bed and as a partner." It was very awkward and all I could do was stand there and go mmhhhm. 

The. FUCK. 😦

 

donshocked.gif

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Had a customer come into my work yesterday and explain to me that older me were better lovers because "we know how to touch a woman" and "we know what they really want, both in bed and as a partner." It was very awkward and all I could do was stand there and go mmhhhm. 

Ugh, that's awful. It sounds like he was hitting on you in a really creepy way, which is super uncomfortable. I'm feeling cringey just reading it 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
17 hours ago, Lirpaderp said:

What's a sex swing? If it's like swings on playgrounds then I'm confused, how does that have anything to do with sex?

When in doubt, Wikipedia:

 

 

Yeeaah, I still prefer the ones on the playground. 

 

Yeesh. 🤣

Link to post
Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨
9 minutes ago, CFilipek said:

Ugh, that's awful. It sounds like he was hitting on you in a really creepy way, which is super uncomfortable. I'm feeling cringey just reading it 

My feelings exactly. That wasn't an ace moment, that was a total creepster moment that would have creeped anybody out. And rightly so. Yeesh. 🤢

 

But if that were me, I'd grab my water bottle and tell him: "Just need a quick swig of my brain bleach, excuse me." 😆

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Pixley said:

When in doubt, Wikipedia:

 

 

 

 

Yeeaah, I still prefer the ones on the playground. 

 

Yeesh. 🤣

Before looking at that link if I had seen that in person I'd probably question it's usefulness as a chair and then climb on it... I still don't get how people could have sex with it, but I'm content with never finding that out

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate
4 hours ago, CFilipek said:

Ugh, that's awful. It sounds like he was hitting on you in a really creepy way, which is super uncomfortable. I'm feeling cringey just reading it 

It was pretty crying. Unfortunately, the guy is a regular and my boss was out at lunch. He also talked about how women are crazy and how they "always throw pots and pans at guy's heads for sill reasons".  

 

Still, not my worst retail experience. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

always throw pots and pans at guy's heads for sill reasons".  

Next time bring a pot...

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

Had a customer come into my work yesterday and explain to me that older me were better lovers because "we know how to touch a woman" and "we know what they really want, both in bed and as a partner." It was very awkward and all I could do was stand there and go mmhhhm. 

LOL - yes that classic moment when we just look like we understand and nod so as not to offend the person talking to us - I have been there several times

 

THEM :

" Oh being more mature you would understand when I say that women like to have some sensual time and make it a special night before  being taken to bed"

 

ME

 

sig-4572577.130461%20-%20animated%20appl

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Hermit Advocate said:

It was pretty crying. Unfortunately, the guy is a regular and my boss was out at lunch. He also talked about how women are crazy and how they "always throw pots and pans at guy's heads for sill reasons".  

 

Still, not my worst retail experience. 

 

Well, if he's going to make stupid assumptions like that, consider it an invitation.

 

giphy.gif

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...