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Incredibly Ace Moments


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Just now, schroedingersdog said:

I had to read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and watch the film inspired by it, Blade Runner, for one of my classes this semester. They were great concepts, and I enjoyed the book but there is some random sex thrown in and I was bemoaning it to my mom in the car on the way home from school - it's so illogical, especially seeing as the author did a poor job fleshing out the main character's internal feelings - if it had at least been stated that he was having all these thoughts, it would have been a bit more acceptable.

I hate random sex. (<-- I just reread that and it sounds very strange outside of context...)

 

Just now, schroedingersdog said:

I asked something along the lines of "Why is sex such a huge motivator?" and she said "Don't go around asking people that, cos most of them are probably already doing it, and you just don't understand cos you haven't done it yet." So then we ended up talking about sex-related topics on the way home from school, and I had to just concede some of her points because I didn't feel like explaining how I felt... it felt way too close to coming out, and there's no way she would understand. By the time we got home, my hands felt shaky. *sigh*

I have conversations similar to this with my family sometimes. Yesterday in the car my sister asked me about 'the flag with black white and purple'. Turned out she had missed the grey and had seen an ace flag somewhere on the highway. I guess I'm my family's resident expert on GSRM content?

 

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9 minutes ago, HufflepuffSupreme said:

@BionicPi I feel really awkward in sex scenes for books and movies, especially if other people are there 

I tend to skim real fast or just stare at a wall....

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When reading ace blogs, the author says something like "the idea that sensual attraction can exist without sexual attraction might not make sense to you, but please bear with me..."

 

Me: THAT MAKES SENSE, THAT MAKES SENSE!

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nerdperson777
16 hours ago, schroedingersdog said:

I had to read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and watch the film inspired by it, Blade Runner, for one of my classes this semester. They were great concepts, and I enjoyed the book but there is some random sex thrown in and I was bemoaning it to my mom in the car on the way home from school - it's so illogical, especially seeing as the author did a poor job fleshing out the main character's internal feelings - if it had at least been stated that he was having all these thoughts, it would have been a bit more acceptable.

I watched the movie as part of a cult films class I took last year.  It seems like a lot of movies like to insert a random sex scene in there.  How was this guy who supposedly could not feel that way, suddenly be doing it?  It felt like that scene came out of left field.  When did he have these feelings?  It wasn't discussed.

 

Yesterday I was taking my martial arts class and started talking to this little boy in front of me.  I forgot how we got to the topic but I said that I used to have strong fingers when I played piano.  He said he played piano too.  I said that I may have been playing longer than he's been alive.  So he asked when I started and how old I was.  I started when I was 6 years old and I'm 22 now.  He kept saying that he can't believe that I'm old enough to have a wife and kids.  I still consider that too young, but part of being ace and aro says never old enough.  I'd say that each person is ready for things like that at their own pace.  But I can't believe that's the first thing on his mind.  He doesn't know that wife and kids are the farthest thing from my mind.  Plus if I did have a wife to have kids with, they would have to be trans and there's no guarantee that either of us are fertile.  I don't even really have to think about this when none of it is happening.

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On the topic of sex scenes, I'm currently in a publishing class and we're working on editing and formatting a novel about Roman legions and lots of combat...and the chapter my professor gave me to edit just so happened to not include much of that, but it did have an excessively long and graphic sex scene. 

 

Thankfully, she apologized, but I still had to read the dumb thing in detail. (I'll read books with sex, I just skim through those scenes.)

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schroedingersdog

One time I was chatting with some girls from my high school graduating class about how much hair we shed and all the weird places we find it. My offering to the conversation was "one time, my boyfriend found some of my hairs on top of his car" and without hesitation they laughed and said "whatever gets your motor running!"  (implying that the reason my hair was on top of his car was because we had had sex on top of his car... which in hindsight is kinda funny, considering neither I nor my boyfriend have ever had sex, let alone with each other!) I was flabbergasted and a little peeved that they turned it into something sexual so quickly. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, cos they were the same people who made fun of me in high school for being so clueless and innocent >.>

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On 10/7/2017 at 3:37 AM, Famethyst said:

When I moved into college my dad bought me a box of condoms. I'm on my third year now and the shrink wrap is still on the box :D

How wasteful... you could have given them to friends in need :-) But they'll be way beyond the expiry date by now.

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44 minutes ago, roland.o said:

How wasteful... you could have given them to friends in need :-) But they'll be way beyond the expiry date by now.

Since when do those have expiration dates? I thought my friends were joking

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1 hour ago, Lirpaderp said:

Since when do those have expiration dates? I thought my friends were joking

This is purely theoretical knowledge, but for the same reason elastic bands lose their elasticity and snap after a while. They're both made of latex.

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8 hours ago, roland.o said:

How wasteful... you could have given them to friends in need :-) But they'll be way beyond the expiry date by now.

You can still use them as water balloons though...

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Forest Spirit

I just checked my emails and looked into the spam section and guess what I got... me as an AFAB person... got an add (I guess) about viagra... yeah sure dude, I'll need that :D

 

In my german dialect (and generally austrian german) six and sex are almost pronounced the same. I'll mark that as six/sex because Idk how else to explain it...

So what happened today:

A: I thought of doing that course as an elective subject since it has 6 ECTS. And I need six/sex.

B: Sure you need six/sex ;) (I didn't see the wink btw!!)

me: Hmmm sounds reasonable. And since you've said it's not that hard it's perfect!

A and B laughing at me

me: what?

A and B still laughing

B: oh you're so innocent! Cute!

me still not getting what happened, after a minute they explained to me the six/sex joke and I was like: but we were just talking about the number 6!! How am I supposed to know that you switch meaning mid sentence!? Come on guys!!

^sigh^ sex jokes are horrible...

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4 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

I just checked my emails and looked into the spam section and guess what I got... me as an AFAB person... got an add (I guess) about viagra... yeah sure dude, I'll need that :D

 

In my german dialect (and generally austrian german) six and sex are almost pronounced the same. I'll mark that as six/sex because Idk how else to explain it...

So what happened today:

A: I thought of doing that course as an elective subject since it has 6 ECTS. And I need six/sex.

B: Sure you need six/sex ;) (I didn't see the wink btw!!)

me: Hmmm sounds reasonable. And since you've said it's not that hard it's perfect!

A and B laughing at me

me: what?

A and B still laughing

B: oh you're so innocent! Cute!

me still not getting what happened, after a minute they explained to me the six/sex joke and I was like: but we were just talking about the number 6!! How am I supposed to know that you switch meaning mid sentence!? Come on guys!!

^sigh^ sex jokes are horrible...

Oh god, don't remind me! I spent years over enunciating the "ch" in sechs until my peers grew up enough to stop that kind of nonsense.

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A shard of glass

Oh, tonight I had a good one.

 

A little bit of background: I'm growing Jalapenos (or as I sometimes spell it: "Halapenyohs" because words like that annoy me, but I have fun with it) and I'm really excited that they've started to bare fruit :oooo

 

So I go downstairs to my parents and tell them that I'm starting to measure my jalapenos... They burst out laughing, and I have no idea why... Eventually I got it... But I suddenly felt really upset that they weren't interested in the progress my plants have made since I germinated the seeds :(

 

But also as my background is as a biologist, and measuring organisms in various different ways is normal to me... I didn't really think that there was anything wrong with the phrase "I'm measuring my fruit" :/

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nerdperson777
16 minutes ago, Baggage_warrior said:

I didn't really think that there was anything wrong with the phrase "I'm measuring my fruit" :/

Allos will make anything sexual.  Usually it's a banana that one measures.  At least that thing looks like a banana.  I don't think anyone wants to call their thing a jalapeno, it's wrinkly and I guess spicy.

 

...I wonder what society would be like if people boasted uterus size instead.

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My friend walked into a store where another friend was the cashier. He bought condoms, a single pickle in a wrapper, and a banana...... What is assumed by this? I know he was kidding, and possibly going to put a condom on a pickle, but is there something else to this?

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Forest Spirit
14 hours ago, Dodoa said:

Oh god, don't remind me! I spent years over enunciating the "ch" in sechs until my peers grew up enough to stop that kind of nonsense.

In my dialect I pronounce sex with more of an ä sound, it may sound horrible but has never got me into any trouble. But here people speak more standard german-ish so it sounds the same... #aceproblems

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4 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

In my dialect I pronounce sex with more of an ä sound

For some reason this sounds very disturbing to me.

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Forest Spirit
44 minutes ago, miau said:

For some reason this sounds very disturbing to me.

:D it's a weird mixture between ä and german e. But it was my pleasure to disturb you with my dialect ^hides^

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On 10/11/2017 at 4:20 PM, roland.o said:

How wasteful... you could have given them to friends in need :-) But they'll be way beyond the expiry date by now.

Haha true, except that all of my male friends are virgins too (but not ace).

 

Surprisingly they don't expire until May 2018 though!

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I was watching a movie on TV - all actiony, guns, explosions, more guns, swords, assassinations, more guns, and a Russian conspiracy (It was pretty good)

 

So when the commercials come on, I walked about and cleaned the kitchen until the movie came back. I took a peek once to see if it was back on, and there was an commercial for an online adult's store.

 

"We have oils, toys, and plenty other things we can't mention here~"

 

Me: Ehhh. Thank you for sparing me details of the other products. At least this commercial has decency, instead of-

 

*Commercial ends, showing another advertisement with bikini ladies telling people to call them for 'fun times' while the camera pans shots of their bust and butt*

 

Me: Uuuurk....I swear, if this movie wasn't so good, I wouldn't put up with this. *goes back to washing dishes*

 

 

 

Why are people so obsessed with sex?! I just wanna watch my movie!!!

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a minor triad
23 hours ago, Baggage_warrior said:

I'm growing Jalapenos (or as I sometimes spell it: "Halapenyohs" because words like that annoy me, but I have fun with it) 

Wait, why does the word "jalapeño" annoy you?

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A shard of glass
55 minutes ago, a minor triad said:

Wait, why does the word "jalapeño" annoy you?

It annoys me because it's spelt with a "J"... I also love pronouncing foreign words wrong because it annoys people XD

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When I was a senior in high school I worked on the fall play. A family acquaintance and my mother were having a conversation and I have no idea how the topic came up but he said to me, "Don't worry, I'm sure you will catch a man sooner or later." With all seriousness I gave him the first reply that came to mind. "Society frowns on filleting and cooking people." My mind had wandered into the land of hunting and fishing. He wandered off quickly after that, my mother just shook her head at me and I, clueless said, "what?"

 

This happened long before I figured out I liked women and even longer before I figured out being ace.

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On 10/13/2017 at 6:27 AM, Lirpaderp said:

My friend walked into a store where another friend was the cashier. He bought condoms, a single pickle in a wrapper, and a banana...... What is assumed by this? I know he was kidding, and possibly going to put a condom on a pickle, but is there something else to this?

Sounds like some kind of running gag, like buying a packet of salt and a battery...

https://notalwaysright.com/assault-and-battery-for-the-salt-and-battery/85559/

https://notalwaysright.com/his-bill-will-be-priceless/59585/

 

Or "buy three items to make the cashier freak out"...

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22ooix/if_you_have_to_buy_3_items_to_make_the_cashier/

It's not about what will actually be done with the items, just the innuendo.

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Red Sun Rises
10 hours ago, Fen said:

When I was a senior in high school I worked on the fall play. A family acquaintance and my mother were having a conversation and I have no idea how the topic came up but he said to me, "Don't worry, I'm sure you will catch a man sooner or later." With all seriousness I gave him the first reply that came to mind. "Society frowns on filleting and cooking people." My mind had wandered into the land of hunting and fishing. He wandered off quickly after that, my mother just shook her head at me and I, clueless said, "what?"

 

This happened long before I figured out I liked women and even longer before I figured out being ace.

That story gives me life!!! LOOOOOOL

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Leonardo Dicaprio...

 

Romeo and Juliet...

 

Everyone was like: "Ohhhhh, ma god! Yes!"

 

Me *thoughts*: "You look like a premature baby - are you crying? Why are you crying? YOU HAVENT EVEN SPOKE TO HER?!?? WHAT IS THIS - ?!???!"

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Debating to be a nun/monk to have an excuse for your disinterest...and more disinterest...

 

Because then no-one would question you... And that would be brilliant!

 

Till you realised - you hate structure and order...

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On 13/10/2017 at 10:25 PM, Feys&Florets said:

Why are people so obsessed with sex?! I just wanna watch my movie!!!

Me too - me too - PLEASE COMEDY! I JUST WANT TO LAUGH MY EYES OUT WITHOUT THE CONSTANT INNUENDOES!!! WHHHHHHHYYYYY!?!???

 

Welp - I'm sticking to My Little Pony - nope, that gets so romantic sometimes I want to be sick... Ughhhhhh, WHAT CAN I WATCH?! Oh yeah... Nature and science channel... I really can't go anywhere else without having brain damage... Ugh! - COMEDY?!

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