Incredibly Ace Moments

[Nea Rose Symphony]

10 minutes ago, StormySky said:

So back in middle school my friends were all talking about "cute boys" and all that jazz. I literally thought that I couldn't see cute boys cause they were invisible to me and everyone else could just see them for some reason.

Me: *unable to figure out what makes men cute*

[StormySky]

Invisibility powers make them cute. 

Haha, I'm remembering myself in the hallways trying not to bump into invisible boys who go to our school.

[fuzzipueo]

On 6/20/2017 at 9:03 PM, CFilipek said:

Unfortunately, we had to stop watching Outlander because of it though; we kept having to skip so much of the episodes that it was impractical and irritating to even bother watching anymore.

I had to quit reading the series because of this. The first four books were pretty decent, but when I had to wade through various scenes in book five just to get to the plot, I gave up (not to mention how bloated the books have become over time ...).

 

[Edited to add] What should pop up on my Twitter feed? A book by Diana Gabaldon called "I Give You My Body ..." How I Write Sex Scenes.

Edited June 22, 2017 by fuzzipueo
added a line

[CFilipek]

3 hours ago, fuzzipueo said:

I had to quite reading the series because of this. The first four books were pretty decent, but when I had to wade through various scenes in book five just to get to the plot, I gave up (not to mention how bloated the books have become over time ...).

 

[Edited to add] What should pop up on my Twitter feed? A book by Diana Gabaldon called "I Give You My Body ..." How I Write Sex Scenes.

That unfortunately happens so much in books written for adults. It's super frustrating because you never know what's safe to read. I tend to read older crime novels like Dorothy L. Sayers and Agatha Christie because I don't have to worry about it (plus I get to learn about life in those periods, which is super interesting).

 

Haha, that's weird. Was it an ad? Maybe the internet noticed you were talking about Outlander and sex and provided a corresponding ad

 

Also, you have an awesome profile picture and quote; Doctor Who is the best!  

[MackerelGray]

I relate to this video. (NSFW audio, sex mention - are you supposed to label things?: 

 

 

[Divide By Zero]

Recent ace moment with a friend who is gay and knows I'm asexual.

 

Background: My friend tells me about a job he recently applied for. He mentions that there is a team of people with a manager who is male and several staff who are all female. He says he knows one of the women on the team and she encouraged him to apply. He also mentions that the manager has been trying to hire more men but hasn't found anyone who fits in with the team.

 

Friend: I think this is one time when being gay is going to be an advantage when applying for a job.

Me: (confused) How so?

Friend: Because the manager won't have to worry about me hitting on all the women.

Me: (very confused) Um...don't you think it's unfair to say that heterosexual men always hit on their female colleagues in the office?

Friend: Oh, come on, I'm sure you've seen it all the time at work.

Me: (still very confused) No, but then again I'm not really sure what hitting on someone means or is like, unless it's really obvious.

Friend: Really? Are other asexual people just as clueless about relationships, sex, etc. as you? Sometimes I think you must have been born yesterday.

Me: (pauses to think about what I've read on this thread and other threads on AVEN) Yes, definitely.

Friend: Wow. Unbelievable.

[borkfork]

2 hours ago, Mr E said:

Me: (still very confused) No, but then again I'm not really sure what hitting on someone means or is like, unless it's really obvious.

Friend: Really? Are other asexual people just as clueless about relationships, sex, etc. as you? Sometimes I think you must have been born yesterday.

Me: (pauses to think about what I've read on this thread and other threads on AVEN) Yes, definitely.

Friend: Wow. Unbelievable.

Those of us who have an easier time recognizing things like flirting don't really post it in this thread.  

[Just Me!]

I recognise flirting, but boycott it with a very deliberate passion.

[MackerelGray]

I rarely even pick up on (ha) obvious as heck pick-up lines. They just sound like...jokey icebreakers? Like better-than-usual conversation starters, and if I heard them I'd just assume that the line maker wants to engage in a pun war which they'd lose.

[Laplace]

On 6/22/2017 at 7:30 PM, Mr E said:

Recent ace moment with a friend who is gay and knows I'm asexual.

 

Background: My friend tells me about a job he recently applied for. He mentions that there is a team of people with a manager who is male and several staff who are all female. He says he knows one of the women on the team and she encouraged him to apply. He also mentions that the manager has been trying to hire more men but hasn't found anyone who fits in with the team.

 

Friend: I think this is one time when being gay is going to be an advantage when applying for a job.

Me: (confused) How so?

Friend: Because the manager won't have to worry about me hitting on all the women.

Me: (very confused) Um...don't you think it's unfair to say that heterosexual men always hit on their female colleagues in the office?

Friend: Oh, come on, I'm sure you've seen it all the time at work.

Me: (still very confused) No, but then again I'm not really sure what hitting on someone means or is like, unless it's really obvious.

Friend: Really? Are other asexual people just as clueless about relationships, sex, etc. as you? Sometimes I think you must have been born yesterday.

Me: (pauses to think about what I've read on this thread and other threads on AVEN) Yes, definitely.

Friend: Wow. Unbelievable.

*inconspicuous whistling* 😙🎶

No, not me, uh uh. I toooooottalllly understand flirting, 100%. It's not like I'm completely inept at recognizing it, no sir. Nothing gets past me, not on my watch. Right guys, you know how it is, right? I'm super duper observant, mhmm. Man, it's so tough understanding everything.

🤥

*sweats nervously*

[Stargazer365]

Went on Tumblr this morning.  My dashboard was full of posts from people describing their erotic/sexual dreams with my favorite tv/movie star, picture of him shirtless, and posts hoping that the next thing he has been filming will have a few sex scenes in it since the book it's based off of does.  My first thought was "why?" to all these posts.  Then I remembered that the majority of people like those things.  Oh well.  At least I can scroll through it all.

[hugbear]

I was playing The Witcher, where you can get buffs from having sex (something I didn't know at the time), and there was this naked nymph lady. I thought, "she's naked, but that's not weird because she's a wood nymph", and I had a conversation with her, which somehow led to a transition into a different time. I guess I didn't catch on where the dialogue was heading. It took me 2 minutes to realise why I had a buff after talking with her. "Gerald! No!" where my exact words of shock and betrayal.

[The Mechanic]

Apparently I got pulled over by the cop who my coworkers described as "the hottest cop in the department," but I didn't notice at all.  I was way more concerned about how expensive the ticket was going to be.

[oyboh]

On 21/6/2017 at 3:19 AM, Jenna444 said:

I agree that sometimes it's part of the storyline, but I'm a big fan of IMPLIED sex within a story, instead of explicit content. A couple wakes up in bed together (no nudity necessary), or enters a hotel room together, etc. Everyone KNOWS what goes on, but no one sees the specifics. The old classic black and white films were excellent at implications, without being disrespectful to audiences (not to mention the actors, who are being paid yes, but are frequently seen as little more than sex objects - and it DOES affect them negatively). And as you said, it's typically not necessary to begin with. 👍

"Gone with the Wind" comes to mind as well, with an excellent Vivien Leigh/Scarlett stretching languid and smiling (and alone and fully nightgowned) on bed "the morning after"...

[oyboh]

Watching "Lassie" as a small child and wondering why the parents were standing there with there faces mushed together, rolling their heads around.

Not ever having had a date in high school, and realizing that fact on my last day at school; and not caring about it, but I was curious about.

Not being able to figure out why people went on dates.

Cringing at sex scenes, or even kissing scenes--WHY do they make those slurpy sounds??? (also: they didn't used to)

Finally having that "all-important" First Kiss, and I'm like Rainman..."Wet."

Wondering why I felt nothing when my fiancé touched my breast and whispered, "When I kiss you here, you will be in ecstasy!"

(Oh dear, pass the upchuck bag...Sorry!)

Totally lacking comprehension of the term "hot".

Flirting without knowing it--creating much confusion, above all for me.

Having a nonexistent sex drive..0h well, ok, a sort of non-directional itch about every 2 months, but it isn't worth the trouble--besides being messy

Thinking repeatedly, "I shoulda been a nun."

 

I too love Agatha Christie, novels of the 1800's (even Wuthering Heights, perhaps because it strikes me as  sexually nonspecific), animation films, action and most sci fi. Also, unexplainedly, Star Trek fan fiction  Also Joan of Arc, Lady Oscar, Spock and Joda.

Kinda makes you wonder..and then is confirmation.

[Araminta]

I hate the sex scene in The Name of the Rose (movie version only, I haven't read the book yet). It looks like rape to me. Many people find that scene romantic though. I don't get it. At all.

[fuzzipueo]

6 hours ago, Araminta Luz said:

I hate the sex scene in The Name of the Rose (movie version only, I haven't read the book yet). It looks like rape to me. Many people find that scene romantic though. I don't get it. At all.

If it's the one I think it is (I've only seen the movie once), I found the scene extremely awkward and uncomfortable to watch. The male wannabe priest character is so out of his depth and the way the scene is filmed and presented, I don't see how it can be considered "romantic".

Edited June 25, 2017 by fuzzipueo
edited for clarity

[BrownHat22]

On 12/3/2008 at 2:48 PM, cijay said:

I never 'didn't get' double entendres, they're just childish.

Same, really. I get what they mean, but I can't relate to them or find them funny. It just seems immature.

[Laplace]

17 hours ago, hugbear said:

I was playing The Witcher, where you can get buffs from having sex (something I didn't know at the time), and there was this naked nymph lady. I thought, "she's naked, but that's not weird because she's a wood nymph", and I had a conversation with her, which somehow led to a transition into a different time. I guess I didn't catch on where the dialogue was heading. It took me 2 minutes to realise why I had a buff after talking with her. "Gerald! No!" where my exact words of shock and betrayal.

Part of the Fandom: "Being a Witcher would be so cool cause you can't catch diseases and you can't get people pregnant so you could have as much sex as you want!"

Me: "☹️ B-but you can manipulate fire, shield yourself from damage, use Jedi mind tricks, use Force pushes, and set magical traps! And you get two swords, and you're like a monster bounty hunter 😮. And you get sick bling like a cool chain with a wolf head on it! 😲"

Fandom: "But wouldn't you want to meet a succubus or a nymph? 😉"

Me: "Yeah, it'd be cool to see other sentient creaturesssss.......oh....not really in that way....😦😕"

 

Also, that mistaken "mugging" sexual role-playing situation in Witcher 3 in Novigrad (IIRC) man. I was like, 😐😑 nope nothing to see here. Just let the couple do as they please. People are free to like what they like. It ain't weird...nope....not at all. It'skindaweird 😖.

[oof413]

i always thought that netflix and chill meant literally sitting on a couch and watching netflix

until recently

i found out last week that netflix and chill is actually

most of you know what it actually means

[*] for another part of my innocence :'----------(

[Aarineko]

2 hours ago, rainbovvsushi said:

i always thought that netflix and chill meant literally sitting on a couch and watching netflix

until recently

i found out last week that netflix and chill is actually

most of you know what it actually means

[*] for another part of my innocence :'----------(

A 11 years old girl explained it to me last year... ... That was a whole other kind of awkward I had just asked her and her 13 years old sister if ... Well... If they wanted to watch a movie with me 

[The Mechanic]

I just realized the only thing I've ever considered using the term "sexy" when describing is my truck when it's freshly washed and waxed

[Kereth]

(this might be tmi; read on with care)

 

Spoiler

I only recently realized that the mouth is in fact an erogenous zone and that's why people enjoy kissing each other... humans make so much more sense now; I always thought that mushing your faces together was a kind of ridiculous social construct meant to show affection... :-P like I had no idea it was supposed to turn people on.

 

[nerdperson777]

Played Killing Floor 2 today.  This is one of those asking for explanation posts.  The trader said "I saw you take down that scrake.  You might give me a henflesh."  What's a henflesh?  Is she flirting with me?  Unless I heard it wrong.

[CFilipek]

7 hours ago, Kereth said:

(this might be tmi; read on with care)

 

  Hide contents

I only recently realized that the mouth is in fact an erogenous zone and that's why people enjoy kissing each other... humans make so much more sense now; I always thought that mushing your faces together was a kind of ridiculous social construct meant to show affection... :-P like I had no idea it was supposed to turn people on.

 

It is partially, but not all cultures kiss on the mouth. It's actually more of a western thing that got spread around with increased contact and Imperialism. 

I've been kissed about 5 times total and I definitely didn't enjoy it. I mainly couldn't breath, felt mildly uncomfortable, and just wanted to watch the movie. I think you have to have some form of attraction to that person (doesn't have to be sexual) for it to be enjoyable and I really wasn't romantically attracted to either person

[Forest Spirit]

8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Played Killing Floor 2 today.  This is one of those asking for explanation posts.  The trader said "I saw you take down that scrake.  You might give me a henflesh."  What's a henflesh?  Is she flirting with me?  Unless I heard it wrong.

(Don't ask me why I just had to look this up instead of going to study ) it apparently means goosebumps in scottish/scottish slang, so I guess it wasn't meant weird

[Forest Spirit]

I already have 69 % on a course (+exam tomorrow) and guess what my friends comment was.... IT'S JUST A FREAKING NUMBER!!

[Aarineko]

54 minutes ago, Quasar.w said:

(Don't ask me why I just had to look this up instead of going to study ) it apparently means goosebumps in scottish/scottish slang, so I guess it wasn't meant weird

It's funny we call it ''chair de poule'' in Fench which actually means henflesh

 

[Nea Rose Symphony]

On 6/25/2017 at 10:06 PM, Kereth said:

(this might be tmi; read on with care)

 

  Hide contents

I only recently realized that the mouth is in fact an erogenous zone and that's why people enjoy kissing each other... humans make so much more sense now; I always thought that mushing your faces together was a kind of ridiculous social construct meant to show affection... :-P like I had no idea it was supposed to turn people on.

 

I didn't even know kissing was supposed to sexually turn others on until I realized my ex (when we still had made out a lot) was turned on, one time so much that he had an overwhelming desire to do stuff with me. And of course I was like "really? I just want to make out..."

[Nea Rose Symphony]

On 6/25/2017 at 10:06 PM, Kereth said:

(this might be tmi; read on with care)

 

  Hide contents

I only recently realized that the mouth is in fact an erogenous zone and that's why people enjoy kissing each other... humans make so much more sense now; I always thought that mushing your faces together was a kind of ridiculous social construct meant to show affection... :-P like I had no idea it was supposed to turn people on.

 

I didn't even know kissing was supposed to sexually turn others on until I realized my ex (when we still had made out a lot) was turned on, one time so much that he had an overwhelming desire to do stuff with me. And of course I was like "really? I just want to make out..."