wysiwygchik Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Hello. I've recently found this site; when I did I was overjoyed to find that I'm not the only asexual on Planet Earth. I've always known I was asexual, but I never knew there were others. I suffer the harrassment by homophobes and heterosexists [there are a lot of them where I live, small town = small mind] who believe that if a person isn't heterosexual, they must be homosexual...There are people in my school who insist that a human being can't be asexual. There are people who have completely abandoned befriending because of my asexuality. There are people who shout names of sex organs after me. I want to educate people. I've already begun thinking about starting a Gay-Straight Alliance chapter in my school, why not extend that to include asexuals? Is there a way to educate my antagonists that there's nothing wrong with me?[/url] Link to post Share on other sites
Zorui Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Sounds like the people at your skool need to be smacked upside the head with a large salmon. Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted May 31, 2004 Author Share Posted May 31, 2004 Sounds like the people at your skool need to be smacked upside the head with a large salmon. Definately!! Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Welcome to AVEN, wysiwyg! :D So did you always use the term 'asexual' or did you not really have a word for it? Hope you enjoy the community here Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted May 31, 2004 Author Share Posted May 31, 2004 So did you always use the term 'asexual' or did you not really have a word for it? I have called myself asexual since this past year. Up until then I thought I was heterosexual; then I learned that to be heterosexual I would have to be sexually attracted to guys. I hated sex ed in 6th grade, and I had to beg my mother to excuse me from 9th grade sex ed. She assumes the attitude, "Of course you'll get married and have kids, Heather! You NEED to know this stuff!" I'm 15 now [well, I will be in less than a month] and my mother still doesn't take me seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Hello! I'm about your age too (16), and it's the easiest time for people to insist that it's "just a phase." Sorry about all that. I'd love to come wipe your school out! Link to post Share on other sites
Kombucha2000 Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 man, it must be tough living in a small community. I went to a large hs where you could get away with being reserved and unknown. Most people that ridicule others have either fears of the unknown, or they have insecurities about themselves (you know the whole thing with homophobes actually being in denial about their own homosexuality). But, for educating them, that's tough. There's ignorance and then there's stupidity. Ignorance can be cured, the latter can't. You could try to tell them that there's a spectrum of sex drive; some people have average amounts, some have a lot and are promiscuious nymphos, and then are others who have little or none like you. You could take a whole intellectual spin on it and say that sex is too immature and primative for you (I happen to find sexual energy to be the lowest and most primative form energy in organisms). I don't know if you're religious or not, but you could also also take a religous route and tell them that you idolize buddhist monks :) hmmm....I can't think of anyother advice. I don't know if that's any help of not. :( Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie86 Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 I think it's great that you want to promote awareness in your school. I say GO FOR IT!! Even if they don't all get it, I still think it's important for you to get the word out there that sex isn't everything to everybody. I'm 17, by the way, and I totally understand what it's like with your school and family. My mom seems to think that I'm just so used to being independent that I'm stubborn about dating. She's told me numerous times that I just need to, "open my heart..." *gag* Glad you're here! :D ~Aspen Link to post Share on other sites
junie99 Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Welcome to AVEN! :) Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Welcome, wysiwyg - great name! If you want some advice from someone who has survived asexual teens and 2 decades of adult life after it in regards to people telling you that you'll change your mind...as soon as you can, find a very polite way of telling people they're being very rude in telling you that. Don't grind your teeth or growl at them, it doesn't work because they won't take you seriously. Just look at them astounded like you've NEVER had that said to you before and say with a smile and sweet voice "that is about the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me." If they ask why just let them know that it's kinda' rude to feel they're entitled to ponder your sex live AT ALL. And...I wish I had signing authority to get you and other asexual teens out of sex ed UNTIL asexuality is addressed in the course. Do they address other orientations? (Hey, when I was in school sex ed consisted of all the girls in an assembly to get "the film"). I know sex ed is valuable but they have to be open minded and consider the things to include. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Aspen, tell your mother you've no problem opening your heart--it's other things that are going to stay shut. Welcome, wys! It must be tough being an asexual teenager. You can always come here and rant. :D Cate Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted June 1, 2004 Author Share Posted June 1, 2004 And...I wish I had signing authority to get you and other asexual teens out of sex ed UNTIL asexuality is addressed in the course. Do they address other orientations? (Hey, when I was in school sex ed consisted of all the girls in an assembly to get "the film"). I know sex ed is valuable but they have to be open minded and consider the things to include. True. They only address what they call "alternative lifestyles" in sex ed, which I assume to be about homosexuality and bisexuality. I only made my mother excuse me from the "anatomy and physiology" portion of the course, because I'm comfortable with the other stuff. I don't think they address asexuality; the admins are either unaware of its existence or don't want to be aware of its existence. Link to post Share on other sites
dabishop Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Not too surprised by that -- something as beyond-the-pale as asexuality can't really be covered in a one- or two-day course (check our 65,000+ post count for evidence of just how hard this thing is to unpack), and is too apt to be taken for 'abstinence', which is way too politically charged and too tempting for most school boards to use the wrong way. Not an easy way to be, but can be the most independent-making of them all. Welcome to you! Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Aspen, tell your mother you've no problem opening your heart--it's other things that are going to stay shut. :lol: Welcome Wysiwyg! That term seems SO familiar! Is it a well-known thing? And remember, even if you DID develop sexual attraction in the future, that's okay too! It would have nothing to do with anyone 'convincing' you. Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted June 2, 2004 Author Share Posted June 2, 2004 Welcome Wysiwyg! That term seems SO familiar! Is it a well-known thing? It's a computer term (acronym) for "what you see is what you get", used for when font names are displayed in a word processor in their font. I take the meaning as, if a person has a certain opinion of me, that's how they'll see me no matter what I do. Hence, what you choose to see within my personality is how you'll think of me. Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Of course! I knew it was familiar. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Welcome to the board!! That sucks that you're having a hard time of it there. Maybe show your mom some of the articles about asexuality that we've been in? Someone should have a list of them somewhere....I know AVENGuy was gonna try to post a list of them... maybe someone else knows how to access them? look around the site especially in visibility and education and there should be some there. good luck and welcome, hope you enjoy it here!! yeah sex ed=no fun. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted June 3, 2004 Author Share Posted June 3, 2004 Vivre est esperer..."to live is to hope", right? Sex ed is definately no fun when forced into attending... Link to post Share on other sites
Brother Wilbur Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 There are people who shout names of sex organs after me. Yeah, they do that to me, too!! They think its funny when I am disgusted or blush or something. People don't abandon me for asexuality, they just think I'm in denial. And my parents think I'm gay. I can't believe they all just drop you like that, thats horrible! About asexuality being mentioned in sex-ed... silly me, never thought of it! I think I'll speak to Ludy, the dean, about it. She leads a class for freshmen called "Transitions" and it covers that and drugs and whatever- transition to high school or something. I used to bring my knitting and knit through it all. I finished three hats that year. And she could probably get the middle school "health" classes to do it, too. She was one of my sympathizers (spelling?) when I came out. How exciting! Sorry, rambling. Just one more exam, Latin. I'm 16 and 1/2 years, plus two days. That means i can FINALLY get my license. Mom over here, she'll be 17 in about a month, and just got her permit. Silly Mom. (We just call her Mom. The Brotherhood, that is). Farewell, I must go, Laura Link to post Share on other sites
SPENCER Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 i think it's gonna take some time Heather, what are you in junior or high school, if that's so, kiids tend to be immature., i't s cause they are so insecure about themseves, some might be gay or asexual and are taking it out on you. The gay/striaght alliance might be a good idea, but i'f that dosen't work keep in mind that once school is over you never have to see those kids again, people become more mature after school is over, and might take time to consder just how they treated you, and if they don't that's there problem. Once school is over, it's time for the real world, and you get the option of leaving them behind. I don't think it's necessary to label yourself so early eather, you don't have to tello them your asexual or whatever, there is plenty of time for that, let them assume whatever they want, you know who you are and that's what counts. Link to post Share on other sites
wysiwygchik Posted June 4, 2004 Author Share Posted June 4, 2004 i't s cause they are so insecure about themseves, some might be gay or asexual and are taking it out on you. Unfair but true. My friends are cool about it, it's just the students who aren't my friends but have no reason to hate me that are such jerks. [That's all I can say without dipping into a completely diff vocabulary.] Link to post Share on other sites
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