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Does girl stuff gross you out?


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Stuff like bras, tampons, underwear/thongs, that sort of thing... This is mainly a question for girls, but does it gross you out, or freak you out, or anything?

Today I had to buy new bras, but I couldn't do it -- I had a meltdown after my mom made me try on 2, tumbling to the floor crying and shaking, just because I guess I couldn't stand the thought of bras and, I don't even know.

My mom made us leave and she talked to me the whole way home about how I wasn't acting normal and that I should be more proud to be a woman or whatever, and that I shouldn't be grossed out about talking about this sort of thing.

And she kept telling me that I had a problem, and that I just won't accept it, but I fail to see a problem. It's not like I have to talk about underwear all that often or go bra shopping very often.

It just frustrates me that she sees this as "the core of my problems," as she says, when I completely disagree.

Oh! And she says I can't call myself asexual because "I'm not okay with it," even though I am 100% okay with it. She says that I can't be asexual and be repulsed by sex and girl stuff because that makes it a problem.

I am curious to see if anyone is repulsed to things like bras and thongs, even a little. Because I mean, I do all the girl stuff, I just hate it. Am I crazy?

ETA: I DO wear bras and I wear underwear!! I really do! They just gross me out!

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Stuff like bras, tampons, underwear/thongs, that sort of thing... This is mainly a question for girls, but does it gross you out, or freak you out, or anything?

Why would it gross me out? I frequently use all of that. I can imagine what one finds repulsive about tampons, but what's wrong with underwear? It's just clothes. I actually find them pretty.

Today I had to buy new bras, but I couldn't do it -- I had a meltdown after my mom made me try on 2, tumbling to the floor crying and shaking, just because I guess I couldn't stand the thought of bras and, I don't even know.

Can you point out what exactly disturbs you about underwear? Is it underwear in general, or just the stuff that's supposed to look "sexy"?

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You are certainly not crazy.

First of: just because you're born a woman doesn't mean you have to like being a woman. Do you? If you don't like having breasts either, then maybe you're just not a woman inside? There's nothing wrong with that.

Second: modern ideas of womenhood may just not fit you. The idea of modern womenhood is twisted. Thongs are jucky, bra's don't make you a woman. Feminists in the 60's burned their bra's, claiming that bra's limited a woman's freedom to be her natural self. Modern ideas of feminine behavior may just not fit you. that doesn't have to make you any less a woman.

Whichever the case, you are certainly not crazy. You're mom is stupid is she refuses to just let you be who you are. You may be ungirly, unfemenine, just not into bra's, asexual or not, whatever you feel like! None of those things are wrong. To force you into being femenine and sexual because you happen to be born that way is wrong.

You are 15, so there's a possibility you're just 'not ready'for it all. Or never will be. either is fine. Your mom shouldn't be pushing you to turn feminine by wearing bra's.

Obviously your mom wants the best for you. She wants you to be happy, succesful, to find relationships that make you happy. That's what moms wants. But I have to strongly disagree with what she's doing here. Forcing you to be a way you don't want to be is wrong.

---------------

Personally: I'm grossed out by sexy underwear, thongs and tampons. But I like wearing decent underwear. I couldn't go a day without a good non-sexy piece of udnerwear and a firm sport-bra that stops everything from jiggling. I'd feel naked without it.

But that's personal. It doesn't mean I'm more or less normal then you.

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Nalle Neversure
Stuff like bras, tampons, underwear/thongs, that sort of thing... This is mainly a question for girls, but does it gross you out, or freak you out, or anything?

Nope, those don't freak me out. Nothing that's considered 'girly' does. I can somehow see how they could gross someone out though. :)

Or maybe I just haven't met anything that would... :unsure:

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The only thing I find scary or upsetting about bras is that I'm starting to run out of alphabet! :lol: And the same goes for other things that come with being a woman, sorta. I'm mildly repulsed by menstruation but as time has passed I've found myself mellowing to the idea. Gross, but can't be avoided and I may as well make the best of it. I've found menstruation to be a female bonding thing in some circles.

I'm not implying that your views are immature or anything of the sort though, Luvdisc. That's just my experience.

I would say that your mother is just trying to make sure you are happy and healthy, as a parent should. We all know parents don't always get this right though! :lol:

Editted 'cause apparently it didn't make sense. I was trying to get across that as I become more seriously involved with people, and open up more, I'm growing more confident and accepting of my body.. or something like that.

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~shinigami~

...Well first, don't listen to your mother. Just because you're repulsed, it doesn't mean you're not asexual.

I've always been really repulsed by my periods. I hate my breasts (sometimes, but not always). I don't like thongs, either. The difference I see between you and I is that I don't see that my asexuality as related to my gender confusion. You might want to point that out to your mother - one issue does not have to be related to another.

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I'm not necessarily repulsed by it. I get annoyed by my periods, but tampons and sanitary towels are just neutral objects. I don't like my breasts, but my bras? Eh, nothing unless they're underwire and then they're evil and must be destroyed at all costs. Thongs are things that more perplex me than anything - they don't exactly look comfortable so I can't imagine why people would want to wear them. Everything else that can be described as 'girl stuff' like shopping and make up are things I completely avoid because I don't enjoy them.

But I don't think you're crazy for feeling grossed out by it. it certainly nowhere near as insane as some of the fears I had as a child.

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Thanks for saying I'm not crazy xD

I think that I relate fancy underwear and bras to sex (possibly because I was unwillingly exposed to porn very young, and obviously they wore sexy undergarments). I just went to my therapist and we talked about it, so I know some things that might have led me to think this way, but I still feel the same way; I don't like any of it.

I find it interesting that a few people thought I was gender-confused... I don't THINK I am; I just don't like having to go out and choose a bra and such. I think I'm afraid that someone will see me browsing and think that I'm buying it because I want to look sexy (which isn't the case, and that's even kind of an absurd idea. But I still think it)

I still wear bras and underwear, so it's not like I'm rebelling against it, but... yeah... it bothers me to face the subject -- I'd rather get up in the morning, put them on, look nice, and get on with my life and not think about it.

The whole subject kind of confuses me. :wacko:

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Dame du Lac

What is it about bras and underwear that gross you out? Surely you've been wearing underwear for years?

If you don't like putting in/wearing tampons then stick to sanitary pads; many women do for various reasons including personal preference.

As for underwear: thongs are unhygienic (not to mention hideously ugly) and should be avoided on that ground anyway. If you don't want to wear bras you have to consider the reactions of people when they see your breasts moving under your clothes (although this is less of a problem if you have very small breasts). If its a case of associating these things with being a woman and feeling that this implies sexual readiness then relax. Stick to basic plain cotton underwear in shapes/styles that make you feel comfortable. If you go to department stores rather than boutiques you'll get a fuller range of everyday stuff rather than lots of lacy/red/look-at-me stuff. 'Nude' (i.e. 'skin' colour) T-shirt bras are best as they don't show up under clothing.

And no, I'm not remotely grossed out by any of this stuff. (But still, thongs are yuck!)

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Hallucigenia

I'm gonna go out on a slight limb here and say that if your fear and disgust about normal female undergarments and sanitary products is strong enough to cause public embarrassment and interfering with your daily life, then you're gonna want to talk to someone about that. If you're having meltdowns crying and shaking in a department store, then it is not just a case of being "unfeminine" or "not into bras". I don't know you, and it's possible that your feelings of disgust are normally quite manageable and it's only the pressure your mother was putting on you that caused the meltdown. But either way, you need to have this looked at. [Edit: and you posted before I was done with this and seem to have already discussed it with your therapist, which is good and awesome and now I sound like an ass. Oh, well.]

That said, your mother's reaction was totally uncalled for. As someone who has had meltdowns myself (for, uh, different reasons) I can guarantee to all of you that there are few things LESS helpful your mother can say then "don't be silly! you shouldn't feel that way! snap out of it!" If you are this upset, for any reason, you need understanding and support.

May I ask (mainly out of curiosity) what kind of bras she was making you try on? Are you allowed to wear normal utilitarian bras (sports bras, "training" bras, and so on) without a lot of embellishment, or is she forcing you into the lacy "sexy" ones? If it's the latter, would you be more comfortable with a utilitarian bra, or is it just the fact that they're intimate female garments in the first place that bothers you?

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Dame du Lac

I must have been really slow writing my last reply as you got another post in several minutes before me!

I don't think its unusual to feel that people will think you're buying bras to look sexy, even without the early porn exposure. You just have to keep telling yourself that they are practical and most teenage girls and women buy them. It'll sink in in the end. And its possible to buy very pretty or lacy bras just because they look nice, even if no one else is going to see them.

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Rikusephirosu

I hate women's 'personal items' to be honest. I guess Im a "guy" on the inside.. Which explains my 100% tomboy personality. Bras look...silly but I wear them, and Id wear boxers if they didnt have the hole in it! As for tampons and that subject, I find it simply grotesque.. When I was younger I asked to get my uterus removed and my doctor looked like she wanted to slap me (Im 16 now since May 8th^^; but I was 7 back then). I dislike talking to my mother about undergarmets.. I dont even go shopping for them. I ORDER them.. lol ;; I dont like being seen in feminine places, I get stared at. <_<

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theimpossiblek
Feminists in the 60's burned their bra's, claiming that bra's limited a woman's freedom to be her natural self.

Sorry, Sammie, but I can't let that myth continue. Women did NOT burn their bras in the 60s. There are several sites, like this one, that will straighten out this misconception.

Back in 1968, women threw their bras and undergarments into a trash bin to protest. They wanted to burn them, but the boardwalk was made of wood and it wasn't safe. :blink:

Ok, back to the main topic:

I totally understand feeling uncomfortable about girly stuff. I still have a really hard time shopping for bras and tampons. If it weren't a necessity, I'd ditch em altogether! Oh, and did you know they have girls underwear that looks like boxers? I remember first seeing them in high school and thinking "YES! Finally some underwear I want to wear!"

And I've never worn thongs. Never will. Yeck.

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spoonsfromdenmark

I totally relate to what you said. I hate shopping for bras. I feel icky and weird and like I want to leave the whole time. I much prefer wearing a bra to not though.

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Well, I had a couple of minor problems with bras during my teenage years. I wasn't repulsed by them, but I found them uncomfortable (and still do) and they just never seemed to fit me right. For a long time, I wore sports bras instead, because they looked and felt more like crop-tops than actual bras. And I definitely had a few issues about menstrual things. I couldn't bear the idea of anyone knowing that I had started.

To be honest, if I'd been in a situation where I had to get a bra fitted, I would probably have reacted in a similar way. I don't like being naked in front of people, even my own mother.

And if I had done that, my mother would probably have responded in a similar way to yours. I agree with previous posters who pointed out that it wasn't a great way for her to respond, and I went through a phase where I really couldn't talk to my Mom because she was like that. It took a long time, but she eventually saw that she was upsetting me even more by essentially confirming my own fears - about not being 'normal' - and it took even longer before I could really talk to her about how I felt. Like other people have said, your Mom surely just wants the best for you and she was probably very worried by what happened. Worry can lead people to react in not-so-good ways, unfortunately.

I think I would maybe try to talk to her when you're both calm and in a good mood. If she doesn't want to listen and can't accept you for who you are, that's very sad and I hope she will come round eventually. But, hopefully, her reaction was a purely emotional one and you might be able to solve a lot of things by talking and explaining how you feel.

I'm glad you're willing to discuss this stuff with your therapist, though.

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I just don't like thongs. I like big pretty lacy things with lots of room for my butt!

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ratatosk_lemur

What is the point of thongs, anyway? They seem like they'd be very uncomfortable, and not actually be any good as underwear.

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John Bayko
What is the point of thongs, anyway? They seem like they'd be very uncomfortable, and not actually be any good as underwear.

My understanding is the idea is to "give in to the wedgie". If you accept the idea of cloth against your anatomy in the cracks (I guess the idea is it's no worse in the back than in the front - if it is, that's what laundry bleach is for), then you don't have to worry anymore about bunching or shifting of underwear - it always stays in place exactly where it's meant to.

I remember reading that another reason was about panty lines in tight pants that women tend to wear - thongs don't have them.

Apparently boxers have become popular among young men, but for style. They conceal more with the pants off, plus "tighty whities" are like kids underwear. A few years earlier, boxers were rejected by men the same age because they were considered grampa underwear. So the generations fight each others' conventions....

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John Bayko

I know at least two women who never saw the point of bras, so didn't wear them. But they are the type who could face the scorn of all the women of the planet who feel that not wearing a bra is wrong and really inappropriate and, well, not really notice or anything. So I suppose that is an option.

Sports bras are another.

But I suppose there's really no getting away from all the things that porn sexualises about women - look hard enough, and you'll see everything about women sexualised in porn somewhere (and even a few others - see Internet Rule #34). But maybe it would help to realise porn and all the things it contains is really separate from reality. Even the men who look at it don't relate it in any way to the real world around them (except maybe in some vague hope that they'll meet a nymphomaniac, but even then, I'm pretty sure they expect that would be completely different than anything depicted in porn-world).

So a porn spoon, say, used to drip porn ice cream on a porn star's porn body is not the same as a real spoon in the real world (used to scoop real gunk from a real moldy jar of real three-year-old spaghetti sauce). In the same way, porn underwear isn't the same as real world underwear, or any female stuff.

Maybe it'll help to remember the spaghetti sauce spoon when you find yourself getting grossed out from girls stuff. Or, maybe not, I have no idea.

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ThePieMaker

Yeah, stuff like tampons and thongs gross me out. I'm cool with bras though and am a big fan of Victoria's Secret. But I always hated it in the lockers rooms before gyms when girls would shout out "Anyone have a tampon? My vagina's bleeding." I just think certain things shouldn't be discussed so openly. And thongs confuse me. I understand why girls wear them, but really? WHY?

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Stuff like bras, tampons, underwear/thongs, that sort of thing... This is mainly a question for girls, but does it gross you out, or freak you out, or anything?

Today I had to buy new bras, but I couldn't do it -- I had a meltdown after my mom made me try on 2, tumbling to the floor crying and shaking, just because I guess I couldn't stand the thought of bras and, I don't even know.

My mom made us leave and she talked to me the whole way home about how I wasn't acting normal and that I should be more proud to be a woman or whatever, and that I shouldn't be grossed out about talking about this sort of thing.

And she kept telling me that I had a problem, and that I just won't accept it, but I fail to see a problem. It's not like I have to talk about underwear all that often or go bra shopping very often.

It just frustrates me that she sees this as "the core of my problems," as she says, when I completely disagree.

Oh! And she says I can't call myself asexual because "I'm not okay with it," even though I am 100% okay with it. She says that I can't be asexual and be repulsed by sex and girl stuff because that makes it a problem.

I am curious to see if anyone is repulsed to things like bras and thongs, even a little. Because I mean, I do all the girl stuff, I just hate it. Am I crazy?

ETA: I DO wear bras and I wear underwear!! I really do! They just gross me out!

Well, I would say that having a 'melt down' because you have to try two bras on sounds like an issue to me, yeah. My friends' little boy did that every time he had to try clothes on in the store. She said it was rather embarrassing because they'd be in the fitting room and he'd be shouting 'Ow! Ow! Ouuuuuuch!" like she was beating the hell out of him. Anyway, maybe in a year or two you'll be able to go bra and underwear shopping without your mum and she'll be none the wiser. As for her saying that you can't be asexual, ask her how she knows that.

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Stuff like bras, tampons, underwear/thongs, that sort of thing... This is mainly a question for girls, but does it gross you out, or freak you out, or anything?

Today I had to buy new bras, but I couldn't do it -- I had a meltdown after my mom made me try on 2, tumbling to the floor crying and shaking, just because I guess I couldn't stand the thought of bras and, I don't even know.

My mom made us leave and she talked to me the whole way home about how I wasn't acting normal and that I should be more proud to be a woman or whatever, and that I shouldn't be grossed out about talking about this sort of thing.

And she kept telling me that I had a problem, and that I just won't accept it, but I fail to see a problem. It's not like I have to talk about underwear all that often or go bra shopping very often.

It just frustrates me that she sees this as "the core of my problems," as she says, when I completely disagree.

Oh! And she says I can't call myself asexual because "I'm not okay with it," even though I am 100% okay with it. She says that I can't be asexual and be repulsed by sex and girl stuff because that makes it a problem.

I am curious to see if anyone is repulsed to things like bras and thongs, even a little. Because I mean, I do all the girl stuff, I just hate it. Am I crazy?

ETA: I DO wear bras and I wear underwear!! I really do! They just gross me out!

Well, I would say that having a 'melt down' because you have to try two bras on sounds like an issue to me, yeah. My friends' little boy did that every time he had to try clothes on in the store. She said it was rather embarrassing because they'd be in the fitting room and he'd be shouting 'Ow! Ow! Ouuuuuuch!" like she was beating the hell out of him. Anyway, maybe in a year or two you'll be able to go bra and underwear shopping without your mum and she'll be none the wiser. As for her saying that you can't be asexual, ask her how she knows that.

Feminists in the 60's burned their bra's, claiming that bra's limited a woman's freedom to be her natural self.

Sorry, Sammie, but I can't let that myth continue. Women did NOT burn their bras in the 60s. There are several sites, like this one, that will straighten out this misconception.

Back in 1968, women threw their bras and undergarments into a trash bin to protest. They wanted to burn them, but the boardwalk was made of wood and it wasn't safe. :blink:

Ok, back to the main topic:

I totally understand feeling uncomfortable about girly stuff. I still have a really hard time shopping for bras and tampons. If it weren't a necessity, I'd ditch em altogether! Oh, and did you know they have girls underwear that looks like boxers? I remember first seeing them in high school and thinking "YES! Finally some underwear I want to wear!"

And I've never worn thongs. Never will. Yeck.

Actually, we did burn bras. I would agree it was never on a huge 'national protest' level but...this is actually kind of funny. My aunt worked at a Goodwill store and I would help her (I was little, 8-10yrs old). My friends and I were talking about the bra burning and while we didn't even understand the point it was supposed to make (we knew the term women's lib but didn't know what it meant) but we figured if we did it, we would be sticking up for girls all over the world. There was a bin at the store of things that just were too skanky to sell and one of the things that went in there often were underwear so I fished a few bras out, one for each of the girls and we went to the country roads and burned them. Had this 'ceremony' and figured we did our good for women everywhere LOL.

I hate women's 'personal items' to be honest. I guess Im a "guy" on the inside.. Which explains my 100% tomboy personality. Bras look...silly but I wear them, and Id wear boxers if they didnt have the hole in it! As for tampons and that subject, I find it simply grotesque.. When I was younger I asked to get my uterus removed and my doctor looked like she wanted to slap me (Im 16 now since May 8th^^; but I was 7 back then). I dislike talking to my mother about undergarmets.. I dont even go shopping for them. I ORDER them.. lol ;; I dont like being seen in feminine places, I get stared at. <_<

I don't think I was so young when I asked for a hyst but I know I was quite long. Just as soon as I realised all the things that the grade 5 movie "It's Wonderful Being A Girl" was bullshit.

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Feminists in the 60's burned their bra's, claiming that bra's limited a woman's freedom to be her natural self.

Sorry, Sammie, but I can't let that myth continue. Women did NOT burn their bras in the 60s. There are several sites, like this one, that will straighten out this misconception.

Back in 1968, women threw their bras and undergarments into a trash bin to protest. They wanted to burn them, but the boardwalk was made of wood and it wasn't safe. :blink:

Alright, so I got that little fact wrong. But as the article says: the desire to light a fire was there,

The point of my argument remains: Wether they burned them or not, feminists before have argued that bra's can limit a women's freedom to be feminine. They can for some people be just plain uncomfortable, so why wear them? To conform to an idea of what female breasts should look like? rubbish!

My point: you don't NEEd to wear a bra to be feminine!

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Luv from reading both of your reply post I can only give you a little bit of help with your issues of undergarments = sex.

If you can, buy them online. Yes I know this might be a cop out, but from what I can see, your pain and paranoia about people seeing you buy these items and what they will about you is very serious. I think if you can buy them online then it will give you a safe environment to buy what you need and even maybe buy something you like with out feeling eyes on the back of you.

Hopefully this and working with your doctor can help you.

And no I don't think your crazy nor anything along those lines.

As to my personal thoughts on female items.

Bra- I need them and when I can get a good one that makes my chest look nice in a shirt/dress/blouse. Then its nice to have them. I really could careless as to what its made out of so long has it holds my chest up, since I never got the point of wear lace undergarments. I mean, if you were planing on haveing sex your just going to take it off? Whats the point of wear it, for that soul reason. If your wearing it to make your self feel good, then I can understand that.

To each there own really.

Panties - Same as my bras. Oh and no G-stings there pointless. If your trying to not have pantie lines then wear supporter nylons or long short pantie. *there panties as long as bike shorts* They work much better.

Period - Oh I just love my.......ok no, Idon't know a woman ALIVE who enjoys theres. If they do....then wow. I put up with it, since my body feels horrible when its late and has gotten used to being on a cycle.

No tampons for me, only pads and I wash 5 times a day when I have them, so yes I am pretty much live in the bath the full week when I have it each month.

Asexual - Dear being female has nothing to do with being asexual. Lets keep in mind once sex identity (female/male/both/neither.) is not ones sexual identity (het/hom/bi/a/pan and so on).

I hope this helps you a bit.

:cake:

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Yes you are crazy and should get help... JUST KIDDING Everyone should wear underwear because it is more sanitary than going w/o, I gravitate towards the 'boy short' underwear it's comfortable and serves it's purpose. It can be embarassing to shop for undergarments but just deal with it. When I was a kid I wrapped my chest with an ace bandage to keep from really needing to wear a bra it worked too but then things changed. The whole tampon thing did always gross me out but again you have to deal with it but you don't have to talk about it nor like it.

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Yeah, stuff like tampons and thongs gross me out. I'm cool with bras though and am a big fan of Victoria's Secret. But I always hated it in the lockers rooms before gyms when girls would shout out "Anyone have a tampon? My vagina's bleeding." I just think certain things shouldn't be discussed so openly. And thongs confuse me. I understand why girls wear them, but really? WHY?

Ya, I used to be not so okay with all the openness about the tampon thing, but after a while, meh... it just got to be a big pain in the ass to try to conceal it.

Agh! and all the thong hate! *pokes fun* Honestly, they're the only underwear I can wear comfortably. I have big issues with seams and little minute details of how clothes feel (I'm the person you'll see tugging at her clothes all day long) so when I stumbled across thongs after my first job deciding we had to wear khaki pants only and me not feeling like exposing a panty line, I tried it out and after a few days of getting used to it, I found them far more comfortable because I just couldn't feel them. Word of warning though, they have to be the right size or it *is* horribly uncomfortable... along with lacy stuff. Lace and thongs just don't mix :blink: Oh, and there's not really an issue of cleanliness either... they do cover what's necessary to keep your clothes clean (g strings on the other hand, not so much...)

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Underwear doesn't gross me out but it makes me intensely uncomfortable. I went out shopping with girls recently and they spent about half an hour in the underwear section of a shop looking at all the underwear and discussing cup sizes. :o It's the most awkward thing. I didn't know where to look, there were bras and thongs all around me and it was just awful. So I get where you're coming from. I have never been underwear shopping with someone and I really cannot understand the concept of doing so (though I don't understand the concept of shopping with others, generally).

I've only actually bought one bra in my life and it was very, very difficult. I felt so out of place and bizarre. I only own two bras in total and I haven't worn either of them for the past week because I really just can't be bothered with them. All the pants I wear are ones that my mother has bought for me, so I don't own any thongs, and I never will, unless I recieve some as a misguided present.

Tampons gross me out completely though. I feel sick just thinking about them. That area is strictly exit only!

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Hate bras but need them for support. Won't wear frilly ones or any of that.

Thongs look uncomfortable.

Tampons me me go eww.

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Guest the_random_squirrel

eurgh, i hate my menstrual cycle, and it hates me. tampons freak me out slightly so i stick to towels.

as for underwear i agree with the general view that thongs are the devils work, but i don't mind nice underwear. i'm not keen on bra shopping, but i like to have quite exciting ones because they make me feel happier knowing that i'm wearing them. if that makes sense...

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I think that I relate fancy underwear and bras to sex (possibly because I was unwillingly exposed to porn very young, and obviously they wore sexy undergarments).

I can totally side with you on the unwilling exposure to porn as a child. It happened to me as well and scarred me for life, along with the fact that my mom seems to think having sex with random people is as natural as eating. *shudders*

I used to feel uncomfortable bra shopping because I didn't like the idea that anyone could be watching me, or even see me walking around with a bra. I eventually got used to it though because it is just another article of clothing now. So what if someone sees me walking around with a bra, I'm a woman and most women wear bras. Also, they are most likely not going to remember me walking around with a bra.

It does take a lot of time to get used to looking at bras and underwear as straight up clothes, if you ever get used to the idea.

You should concentrate on relaxing about bras and underwear and try to see them as no big deal.

"Sexy" underwear and bras still scare me. I like the plain, simple, comfy stuff.

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