Downandupquark Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 ahem: sorry if i seem harsh. asexual lesbian impersonator no longer wants to be a hairy pie toiler. it's so time consuming. i have to drink large quantities of alcohol in order to make these requisite interactions plausible. my girlfriend is beautiful and very intelligent. i want to be with her, but she feels that relationships without sex lack intensity. she has stated that she could not be with me without it. so, there is the burdensome acting. and now i'm expressing myself here. because there isn't a fleshy forum offline that i know of for such complaints. obviously, sexual relationships have been glamourized by the media. i've found that eating p***y is messy and rather unpalatable. how often is this overlooked in media portrayals of lesbian sex? wouldn't sipping on apple martinis be more pleasant? perhaps this sort of suffering is supposed to prove one's ardent level of devotion to the other. french kissing. another foul task that restricts the seemingly not-so-important act of breathing. how is tongue play more "romantic" than perhaps reading aloud about cosmology or whatever to each other? i guess i just want to live a more passive existence in that way. (sorry if this is a bit trite and lofty.) quiet. backpacking and noting interesting formations. watching creatures live, die, and decay. observing distant galaxies. painting something orange. thinking about four winged birds. does anyone else have similar difficulties? Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 I would like to help, but I . . . Really have no idea how to reply to this :( You love her, but don't want any part in the sexual activities. It all comes down to what you want the most: to be yourself and not have sex but lose her, or remain with her but never being completely happy because of the sex issue. Either way involves a loss I'm sorry to say. Will she still remain your friend if you decide to stop having sex? I'm aware that I am just telling you things you already know, sorry. But then again, letting that out must have made you feel better. I'm pretty sure there are a few people in the same situation (or have been) you are in now. They will be able to give you better advice :) Oh, and welcome to the board! Link to post Share on other sites
Kiuku Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 hehehehehehehehehehe so colorfully depicted Well, Downandup, I certainly see your dilemma .... Yes I think you will find a lot of people here with the same difficulties... Perhaps not the same situation but the same difficulty. Most of us feel like we have to act the part in order to have a loving relationship, or even to be recognized as wholesome in society, but when it becomes too burdensome, we move on and hope for something that works. Interesting about French Kissing...There are plenty of people and cultures in the world that do not french kiss. It is so prevalent now it almost seems natural, the thing people are supposed to do.... but it isn't and I can completely see why even a sexual person might not like it, or might have to learn to like it. In either case, count me out. Kiuku Link to post Share on other sites
Kiuku Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 btw, nice Tesla quote ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Euney Posted January 25, 2003 Share Posted January 25, 2003 GAD! Yes, I recall those days, choking on another person's saliva and public hair and smiling politely as body fluids are smeared in your hair and lips. Sometimes I wonder the perversity of whatever god or alien or amoeba that created us, evolved us, etc. Who wants genitals for breakfast? Only people who are conditioned to like it the same way we are conditioned to wear polyester in the 70's. No one is born to like slimy liquid sliding down their cheeks in the name of love. GAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Downandupquark Posted January 25, 2003 Author Share Posted January 25, 2003 hiho. thanks for the advice. i suppose i'm not really looking for one of those bizarre solid answers. i don't believe they exist in relation to such matters. i'd just like to think that i am more rational than sexual propaganda suggests and that i don't need to be cured by pharmaceuticals in order to live a "full" life. euney, i very much enjoyed your explicit understanding of the bodily abasement. "but it isn't... In either case, count me out." - liked that part. sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 25, 2003 Share Posted January 25, 2003 Euney, your description of the "lovemaking" (ha, lovemaking, what a... *pretentious* name, don't you think?) process made me want to throw up, and that's a compliment. If my feelings about that don't prove I'm an asexual then I don't know what else will. Hehe, good description. Down and up! Welcome to the board! I love how you put that, "lesbian impersonator." I feel like a lesbian impersonator now myself. No, I'm not in a relationship like you are, but I "came out" to half a dozen people in the last few months to a year and now I have just recently come to terms with the fact that I'm not *really* attracted to girls, and that i just wanted to fit in, and I still dont know exactly where i fit in because I still find women extremely beautiful and all that but I don't have crushes on them; I dunno, somewhere in the middle of, say, points B and C and I have no idea where anything goes... I don't want sex but I don't feel completely asexual; on the other hand, I don't feel sexual, but sometimes I think I do; and it's all very confusing. Sorry...I think my train of thought from here belongs in a seperate post. My main focus of this post anyway is to welcome you to the board...always wonderful to have new people to discuss things with. You have such beautiful writing. I also want to just have someone to share an emotional bond with but not physical. I hope you come to a solution, somehow, some way in your dilemma... feel free to share all your frustrations with us though. Dilemma-edly yours, Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 25, 2003 Share Posted January 25, 2003 Yes Euney, the description = *BLEEARGH!* On the bright side, I won't have to fight food cravings for a little while. Link to post Share on other sites
ViddyWell Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 Oh My God! I feel very much like that too!! The only thing I can say that is defferent about me is I love kissing. I just hate going any further than that... I've had muff and cock in my mouth... And well, I wont go into graphic details, but both situations are awkward and somewhat repulsive. All my freinds want sex, and I have done it, to fit in. And I acted all excited at the time, but it just didn't feel right. It was so fun discussing dick size with my freinds, I guess I forgot that I could not care less about the dimensions of it. I've decided I don't like getting close to body parts that people urinate out of. I think if I fell in love with someone, and they loved me, then maybe things would change. But in modern society, and with what passes for "love" today, I get pessimistic! Link to post Share on other sites
geekalious Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 I too, have come out, yet didn't really know what I was talking about! LOL, it's somewhat funny. I think woman are more beautiful than men. I don't really find anything replusive about sex or wacking the bunny, it's just not me. Porn isn't me (though I love the human body and think it's absolutly beautiful!) Sure, I like kissing, not "Oh honey, I can taste your tonsils!" kissing. I honestly don't know what to tell you. I hate to sound bland or corny but, have you told her how you feel? And maybe you could ask her to tone down the sex and you could put up with the little sex you guys do have. ANd I love your attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
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