ViddyWell Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hello Everyone. It's good to be here. I guess I joined here because I am young and very confused, I think I could do with some guidance. My name is Emily, and I've just turned 17 years old. I'm a very private person. My main values in life are intelligence and spirituality, I suppose. As I've grown up, I've realised that I'm different to most people. I don't want what they want, I think very differently too. When it comes to society, I hate it. I hate the social expectations, and I hate the pressure. I've always liked to be on my own, or rebelling against conformity in my own small ways. My sexuality has been rather confused during the past 3 years or so. I have been taken advantage of by men, and completely humiliated by a girl. Up until this point in my life I have thought myself to be bisexual. But now I am changing. Both spiritually and emotionally. I have discovered that I don't even like sex. It's not only my bad experiences, it's just a sensation that does not arouse me. I hated having someone that close to me, and I just cannot see how it can be pleasurable. It's not that I don't get sexually aroused, I do, But the act of intercouse deflates it. I cannot see myself spending my life with another person. When i visualise myself happy, I see myself curled up with a book sitting outdoors beneath the shade of an old tree. If I were to spend my life with anyone, our love life would not evolve around sex, and it would be someone who i can connect with on a spiritual level, I would need another version of myself.. and I feel so irregualr and abnormal sometimes I know that there simply is not anyone like that. Well. I'm feeling very confused and a bit depressed about all this. If you have any advice or freindly words to offer me it would be much appreciated. It is comforting to know that I am not alone here. Thanks. -Emily Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 You have found the right place then :) I'm sure most (if not all) members of this community know how you feel. Welcome to the board! Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Yeah, we all have been through the same things around here. Welcome aboard!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lukara Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Welcome Emily!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jen Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Welcome to the board, Emily! As others have said, most of us have been through the same things as you're going through, so I hope that helps you a little. Link to post Share on other sites
ViddyWell Posted January 21, 2003 Author Share Posted January 21, 2003 Thanks for the welcome guys :) Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hello, Emily, and welcome! Many of the people who post here have stories very similar to yours, and EVERYONE who posts here is very accepting, so my advice would be to read, post, and have as much fun here as you can! :) Nice to meet you! Love, Luisa Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 P.S. Does your screenname have to do with "A Clockwork Orange," by any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hi Emily!! Welcome to the board! pull up a chair, share your story, and make yourself at home. :) I'm Kate and I'm 18, so I'm your age. I've gone thru the same thing as you. I always knew I was different as well and couldnt understand why people thought so much of sex. I thought I was a lesbian for a while, kind of like you, but that title didnt really ring true, and then I found this site and found relief, finally finding other people like me. I too was depressed for a long time about thinking I was the only one who felt like this. It's the biggest relief of my life to finally be affirmed as OK for being who I am, for being like this. You live in Australia! cool! we have some other people from Australia on the board. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
ViddyWell Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 hehe. wow. You are all making me feel very welcome :) It is also good to know that there are younger people here too... just about all of my peers would think me weird. I told a close friend of mine, a boy, how I felt and he did not understand at all. He tried to "fix" me by giving me pictures of a bunch of naked people and telling me to engage in self pleasure, I guess I could say. :P I havent told any of my otehr freinds because I know now that they wont understand.. Yep, I'm an Aussie.. I didn't realise that there were other Australians here too. Thats good! It's very nice to meet all of you, by the way.. And at this point I think I should say that I still don't know whether I am asexual, but I think it is very safe to say that I do not see sex as a valid part of a real relationship. I also have problems with emotions too, I only see emotions, particulary love, as skin-deep. but anyway.. Oh yes, and my name does have a lot to do with the movie, A Clockwork Orange :D I love that movie... I like how they talk on it too... and the giant ceramic penis is kind of well... humorous.. :D -Emily Link to post Share on other sites
George-Q Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hiya Viddy. Great to see another Aussie on the Board. I'm from Brisbane. By my count, you're the fourth Australian so that probably puts us at No 3 in terms of numbers (after Americans and Brits - not sure about how many Canadians there are). Link to post Share on other sites
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