Sophea Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hi everyone! My name is Sophea, I am new here. About an hour ago, I found this neat Web site with the help of Google, and I can say I'm surprised: I didn't think there were other "people like me" out there, at least, not the significant amount required to build a living community. So: congratulations! A few words about myself: I'm a French 23-years-old girl living in Paris, France. (Hence apologies for my awful English.) After having read all your FAQs, the least I can say is that I consider myself asexual, without any doubt. I've never felt attracted to anyone, and I've never had a relationship. I do have a sex drive, but it expresses itself only in dreams and fantasies (and in both cases, it never involves an existing person). Though it's not included in asexuality /per se/, I've never fallen in love too. I guess your everyday life is as complicated as mine. People don't understand, or worse, don't even believe me when I say I'm asexual. They claim I've just not found the right person yet, which is most annoying. When I say "no" to a man and explain why, he can't prevent himself from thinking I'm lesbian, not asexual. Actually, I often end claiming I'm lesbian to justify my (a)sexual oddity, because asexuality is not considered a valid "option". Of course, my family does not understand too, and keep asking about "when I'll have a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend, anyone!". I live with a man who's sexual, in love with me, sexually attracted to me, but who accepts my condition. I consider him my best friend, we are emotionally very close, but I'm not attracted to him. I feel quite guilty because he must restrain his sexuality because of me; he doesn't want another woman. We've been together for 5 years (living under the same roof for two years and a half) but I wonder how long such an uneven relationship can last... Explaining it to other people is also a hassle. Distant acquaintances, neighbors, etc think we are in a regular relationship, but closer friends expect sincerity and are usually puzzled by our state of affairs. Enough for my little story... I'm glad I found you. I know many heterosexuals and celibates and a few homosexuals, bisexuals, transgendered people, but I've never met any other asexual person before! *sigh of relief* Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hi Sophea! Welcome to the community! And thank you for making my night. I'm so glad that you discovered us- every time I read testimony from another person who says they're not sexually attracted to anyone, don't have crushes or fall in love, well, it makes my heart jump. The words are like water to a parched throat :) This board is the one place where I can feel normal, whole, and basically okay about myself. It only makes me happier that we keep getting new people every few days to join in on the dicussion and to re-affirm once again that we are not the only people in the world that feel this way, that don't feel sexual attraction. Please, Sophea, make yourself at home and post away! You live in Paris- that's *so* cool. Je pense que ton anglais est tres bien! I love french. :) We have someone else from New Brunswick here who I know is also fluent in french, so maybe you'll hook up with (in a completely non sexual way of course!) him. I myself completely echo your sentiments..I've never had any sexual attraction, ever. And slowly I will..am begin(ing) to accept that... :) Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hehe bienvenue sur le forum! don't worry about your english. Hell, you type better than 90% of the english speaking people I know online! (hurray for battle.net -_- ) Fais comme chez toi :) Mais essaie de me laisser assez de bouffe dans le frigo . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Hypatia Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hi Sophea, Welcome to the site! Wish my French was as good as your English.... I completely sympathize with your dilemma as I am in a very similar situation myself, although I'm not living with my friend. I too feel guilty quite a lot, but I've decided that as long as I am completely honest with him about what I want or don't want there is nothing I can do to improve things. There is no point destroying our relationship just because I am worried I am unintentionally keeping him away from finding a proper girlfriend! Anyway all the best and hope to hear more from you on the board, Hypatia Link to post Share on other sites
Lukara Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hi Sophea, Welcome to the site! I only joined a few hours before you did, but I already feel so much better, I hope you will feel the same way!! Lukara Link to post Share on other sites
Legolas Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Hello and welcome to AVEN sophea. I can read a little bit of french little :) no jargon tho. I am originally from europe also. Again welcome to Aven. You are home Alex Link to post Share on other sites
Cea Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Welcome! I am willing to over look the fact that you are a Frenchy. Kidding of course Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hey Sophea! I noticed that ya havent posted since this thread, im looking forward to getting to know you cus you sound really interesting! so I hope you feel comfortable enough to post again soon. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
ViddyWell Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hiya Sophia :) It's great to meet ya. I'm new to asexuality and this site also, I think you've done well to come here because people here are very freindly and understanding. It's helping me already! Asexuality has been massively overlooked by everyone hasn't it. I'm glad there's a site about it! I'm currently learning French, but unfortunately I'm not very good at it :P Well, I hope to see you around Sophia! -Emily Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.