PearsRblue Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I apologize if this is not the correct location for this thread. I don't know where to post, I'm new (post #2) and I've been browsing for a bit. I can't click on people's profiles to read, they're just not clickable. (How do you get to read someone's profile? How do you make it clickable??) I tried switching to IE but same thing. I was a bit taken aback by the title/definition for this thread, then I clicked and some posts were 60+ which is great for those that are 60+ that they have a place. So far the only ages I've come across (in posts where age was revealed) have been teens, 20 somethings and now 60 year olds. All my life I've related better to older people, get along great with younger and now I'm all age-confused and would like to start in my age-bracket. I'm feeling out of place. Although I welcome input from everyone, I'd like to find the 40-somethings and say hello. Is there a more appropriate location/forum/thread specifically for this age bracket? If not, and if you're in your late 30's/40's please say "hey", I'd like that. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Welcome, Pears...no hard and fast rule about where to post, though most start off in the 'Welcome' thread...so you don't miss out on the (it's one of those silly 'traditions'). This forum was created for the older members of the board who maybe aren't as 'computer literate' as the youngsters and who possibly are a little intimidated by the 'speed' of the board. Doesn't mean you can't join in if you feel more comfortable here. Wherever you decide to post, jump in, everyone's really friendly. Enjoy, you're among friends. Tan Link to post Share on other sites
PearsRblue Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Thanks Tan, for the welcome, and for my (truckload of) wild blueberry-pear cheesecake, it is yummy and has the reverse-caloric effect, just like celery! (I read I can make the cake what I want it to be) Yes, I think I got intimidated by the definition because of words like "older" and "mature". Not because there's anything wrong with those, but rather because I haven't begun to live yet, so it's like going from zero to sixty without collecting 20 or 40. But I didn't want to post outside my box, I'm not sure where to belong yet. I did post my first one on the welcome thread, so I guess I might get double the welcome cake. I'm gonna be sooo skinny! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Pears: Many of us on this forum are 50s/60s and older. However, especially if you've experienced some or most of your life as an asexual and have had the consequent problems with general society, there isn't much difference between 40 and 60. We elders haven't got that many more answers (to anything) than you probably have, so we're still questioning. And we definitely haven't stopped living our lives (believe it or not, people over 60 DO have lives!). The main advantage of this forum is that we communicate a little differently from the 20's kids (we tend to write more complete sentences!) and we grew up at a time anything other than the "normal" sexual orientation was laughed at, so we understand what we've all had to deal with. That could be true of you at 40 also. You could give us a try before you propose a 40s forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Sally, you checked out the 'Meet Up' Forum, they're trying to organise a meeting in Seattle...at least they're talking about it... Tan Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 tan: Meetup forum? I'm not sure what that is. Do you mean a new forum for 40s people (re our new poster) -- or an actual in-person meetup forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 http://www.asexuality.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=23961 There's talk of a meeting in Seattle, thought you might like to at least think about it...but if you get the chance, go, even as an 'oldie' I have fun at the London ones... Tan Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Thank you, Tan! I'd almost given up that there was anyone else in Seattle -- I'll check it out. Link to post Share on other sites
bydefault Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Hey! I just joined this board a few days ago myself. I know what you mean about the age confusion. At 42, I'm a kid to most of the older crowd and a senior to the younger crowd. Maybe they should start a section for us "tweenagers"? :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I always imagined that the "Oldies" forum was for members who are dealing with issues that typically face independent adults rather than teenagers and students. (And who also happen to have better taste in music! :lol:) This is a place where we can get away from the constant complaint of "My parents don't believe me when I say I'm asexual. What can I do?" and other such recurring themes. I think anybody who is (or has been) self-supporting should fit right in here, regardless of their age. -GB Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 I apologize if this is not the correct location for this thread. I don't know where to post, I'm new (post #2) and I've been browsing for a bit. I can't click on people's profiles to read, they're just not clickable. (How do you get to read someone's profile? How do you make it clickable??) I tried switching to IE but same thing. I was a bit taken aback by the title/definition for this thread, then I clicked and some posts were 60+ which is great for those that are 60+ that they have a place. So far the only ages I've come across (in posts where age was revealed) have been teens, 20 somethings and now 60 year olds. All my life I've related better to older people, get along great with younger and now I'm all age-confused and would like to start in my age-bracket. I'm feeling out of place. Although I welcome input from everyone, I'd like to find the 40-somethings and say hello. Is there a more appropriate location/forum/thread specifically for this age bracket? If not, and if you're in your late 30's/40's please say "hey", I'd like that. Thanks. Hi Pears, thanks for dropping by and welcome. I'm able to get into profiles just fine, it's just people don't fill them out all the time. I'm 45 and don't mind telling people that. Aside from listening to better music :lol:, most of us don't have the same pressures that our parents don't belive us or will find out about us that our younger friends have to deal with. I would say another bonus is that there's not a lot of video game discussion or 'word-change' type things. It's kinda' like, if you think of AVEN as a train, this is the quiet car. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Hello! I'm an over 40 too, and post all over the place. I never think about age, if I don't understand some of the stuff the younger ones post, abbreviations, references to computer games etc, I just ask, and they're usually very helpful, so I learn something new. Having said that, this is a good spot if you want to talk to people who remember the Bay City Rollers and are old enough not to be too embarrassed to admit they wore half-mast tartan pants and screamed a lot.... (Sorry, if you're not from the UK, you'll have no idea who I'm talking about). If that's the case, have some I've been told it confers eternal youth as well as being reverse-calorific. Link to post Share on other sites
vikingo Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 ... I'd like to find the 40-somethings and say hello. ...Hello to you, PearsRblue.(a welcome rhyme :D) ... I can't click on people's profiles to read, they're just not clickable... To view profiles you need to be logged in. This site has a "feature" which is browser independant and which automatically logs you off when you do something. So - next time you login, tick the option called "Log me on automatically each visit []". It may help. Link to post Share on other sites
WendyO Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Pear, Im 44yrs old and have been posting all over this site for the past year. This is a great support site for either Asexuals or folks like me who are married to Asexuals. Im sexual myself but my husband of 24yrs is an Asexual. In order to help me be in my marraige in which we are completely opposite I need this site for support. I agree with you that us 40 somethings need our own area. Link to post Share on other sites
PearsRblue Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Hey everyone. I totally forgot about this post, I assumed after the first reply that was it. Well it feels more comfy over here. Although yeah, it'd be nice to have a 40something forum. I'm a bit offput not by the younger crowd but by all the extreme degrees of asexual. As romantic-hetero-asexual, that's what's normal for me. So after being among all the non-asexuals in RL, it's a bit of a shock for me to read that asexuals have a sex drive, are into p & m (sorry I OD on those words, I'm not reprinting them for the time being!) :lol: and then the transgender and bi/homo and now pan (??), it all confuses me. I thought it you're bi you're having tons of sex with whomever doesn't matter. So it's again a feeling of "nope I don't belong there either" I need a box where everyone is like me then it will be safe because everyone will be normal. :lol: :lol: Thing is I figured the non-asexuals don't have sex after say 60 so why do we need a 60's forum over here? The world is NON sexual after 60, isn't it? :lol: OMG! I am so clear-cut, I need a box where I can fit in other than the one I live in. That's how bad I am! I need clones of me I think! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Hello! I'm an over 40 too, and post all over the place. I never think about age, if I don't understand some of the stuff the younger ones post, abbreviations, references to computer games etc, I just ask, and they're usually very helpful, so I learn something new. Having said that, this is a good spot if you want to talk to people who remember the Bay City Rollers and are old enough not to be too embarrassed to admit they wore half-mast tartan pants and screamed a lot....(Sorry, if you're not from the UK, you'll have no idea who I'm talking about). Say what? :shock: the Bay City Rollers (or Gay Shitty Fags as we called them when we were 15...what'd we know?) were a worldwide phenomenon. I couldn't stand them (but in hindsight I think the song Dedication is pretty) and I remember my friend pleading me to go with her to their concert. I said 'no', I said and didn't go...she never spoke to me again. Too bad, so sad, I saved myself mental trauma I'm sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Nope, the world is NOT asexual after 60! That's kind of a cliche that is pretty commonly-believed by those under 60, along with seemingly thinking that most areas of life stop after 60. Believe me, the sexual guys over 60 are even MORE desperately sexual because they figure they don't have much time left. There are some women over 60 who aren't interested in sex anymore, and there are a few guys over 60 who are mostly impotent -- but very few. Many over-60 guys are looking even harder because often their wives aren't interested, and they need someone else to play with. And if you're disgusted with the idea of having sex with some guy around 40 or so, you should think of it with a 65-year-old. Amazingly, they think they're real studs. ick ick ick ick ick Link to post Share on other sites
PearsRblue Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Olivier Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 if you're in your late 30's/40's please say "hey", I'd like that. Hi Pears, there are plenty of us here. I'm over forty (just) and my wife's under (just). I think forty is fine for the Older Asexuals forum, especially if that's forty with life experience and not just twenty-five years' worth of being fifteen :) Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Is 30 years of being 25 okay? *hopes* -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I think I skipped right from being 5 to being 67, and that happened last September. Link to post Share on other sites
PearsRblue Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 You guys crack me up!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I must say, I love my boxes!!! :mrgreen: Link to post Share on other sites
HighwayStar Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I'm a newbie here in my 40s ... although some mornings I feel like I'm in my 80s ... On the other hand, if "mental age" is the yardstick, a lot of people would say I still haven't passed adolescence :mrgreen: Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I'm 45. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Nope, the world is NOT asexual after 60! That's kind of a cliche that is pretty commonly-believed by those under 60, along with seemingly thinking that most areas of life stop after 60. Believe me, the sexual guys over 60 are even MORE desperately sexual because they figure they don't have much time left....... ...... And if you're disgusted with the idea of having sex with some guy around 40 or so, you should think of it with a 65-year-old. Amazingly, they think they're real studs. ick ick ick ick ick I can vouch for that, I thought it would be OK to go out with a 65 year old...WRONG Given up now. Tan Link to post Share on other sites
I_Luv_Pudding Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I thought it would be OK to go out with a 65 year old...WRONG Bwa-ha-ha! This cracked me up! I'm new, just joined, and 47, almost 48, and glad of it. *waves to everyone* Great topic, btw, DJ Link to post Share on other sites
PetraNotMyRealName Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Almost 42...will be next month. Used to be quite sexual but for many years asexual in a marriage with a husband DYING to have sex but also adament to remain faithful. 2 weeks ago he asked for a divorce and although I don't want it, I have to free him from this forced-upon-him asexual marriage. It's not fair to him WHAT SO EVER and I love him to pieces for sticking with me as long as he did. I still have desires for physical closeness, cuddles, kisses and all that jazz but absolutely NO DESIRE for actual intercourse. Does it fade with time? Do you mean the desire for intercourse? I think so...it's a medical fact that as we age, both male and female our hormones decrease but as for non-sexual intimacy...I don't know, I think that part remains individual. I have no interest in sexual intercourse but I can still be intimate and have desires in other ways and I find that that has not changed despite my desire not to have intercourse. I just find non-intercourse sexuality just as satisfying...it's finding someone else who shares in these feelings that's the EXTREMELY DIFFICULT part. Link to post Share on other sites
jcortese Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Will also be 42 next month, so I'm the young end of the old crowd. :-) Did the whole coming out thing -- assumed I was straight since I found a bare few men pretty to look at, grew up, it never went past "pretty to look at" to the point where I really wanted to do anything about it. I prefer the company of women, so I'd assumed I was lesbian, but that never went anywhere either. I just figured I still had to figure it out -- after all, everyone has a sexuality, right? I found this forum, and (if I've got the timing right in my memory), I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy, of which hyposexuality is often a symptom. That and finding this forum pretty much clinched it for me. I know what I am, no more wondering, plus I found out why. AFAIC, the book is now closed on my sexuality or lack thereof. Nice to see a section for older people here -- 40's is a bit hard to pinpoint since we're not really "older" older but we're clearly out of the realm of the kids' posts ... Link to post Share on other sites
WendyO Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Im 44 yrs old. I felt a bit uncomfortable talking a bit graphic to the younger crowd, say in the teens and 20's. Liking the idea if you are about over 40 and up this is a place for us to meet and discuss our issues. WendyO Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Am wondering now if there's something wrong with me. I don't care a bit about talking graphic with younger ones! My age is just a number, it doesn't really relate to me. It means nothing in terms of how I behave/speak/think. I just do what I want, and all being older's got me is more experienced in life. I don't think I'll consider my age at all until bits start dropping off. Link to post Share on other sites
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