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http://experts.about.com/q/3136/2292540.htm

2012 Mod Edit: The above link works, but for future reference, here's the content:

Expert: David Brown - 4/7/2002


Question
Hello David,
I am not gay but completely asexual.However, if anything I experience more problems than gays. What I would like to know is how do I get rid of women's attentions, without annoying them. Ignoring them just makes them either more determined than ever to talk to me, or worse, makes them so furious that life becomes difficlt for me.I would also appreciate tips on acting straight, as I would like to avoid any problems with hetero men. Straights don't like asexuals and illogically prefer to view and treat them as gays, so I need advice there, too.
Thanking You In Anticipation,
Geoffrey Purcell

Answer
Geoffrey,
This is probably one of the hardest questions I've had yet.
I would like to mention something to you though. You say that you are asexual, but you say that you need tips on acting str8. Well, I can't say that I can help you with that since I am a firm believer in acting as yourself. If you try to act in anyway diffrent from yourself then you will never be comfortable with yourself and neither will anyone else.

In the area of women that keep hitting on you and don't seem to know when to stop; just be straight forward with them. Tell them that you are not interested and if they keep coming of to you them tell them to go away because you feel uncomfortable with their advances. You need to comunicate with them your feelings and don't worry about getting pissed off.
Something else that I would like to mention is that the difficulties that you are dealing with are not about sexuality but about gender. You fit in a place that is outside of the norm. That's cool in my book. Asexuality is perhaps one of the most misunderstood orientations out there. It is the fifth sex in a third sex world (gay, str8, and bi, fourth would be trans). People often feel that you have to feel sexual or connected to a specific group. You don't need to.
I would like to recommend a book to you Kate Bornstein's My Gender Workbook. This book will answer so many questions for you and its a real confidence booster to boot. Its published by Routledge. Its great.
Write me with any other questions,
Dave

Questioner's Rating

Rating(1-10) Knowledgeability = 7 Clarity of Response = 8 Politeness = 10 Comment Good advice... I'll take it to heart! Thanks, David
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Mr. Brown is a nice, nice man.

I wish I could send him a flower or two. He deserves it for his kindness.

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If I didn't have to register on that site, I'd rate this gentleman a '10' across the board (although it seems he's close enough already).

Asexuality is perhaps one of the most misunderstood orientations out there. It is the fifth sex in a third sex world (gay, str8, and bi, fourth would be trans). People often feel that you have to feel sexual or connected to a specific group. You don't need to.

That's the most validating thing I've read in a good long time. We're Official now!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...
VivreEstEsperer

Wow. I am really enjoying reading the World Watch section right now. A big hooray for awesome columnists who validate/verify our existence. That guy is awesome.

Kate

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