Flying Ace Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I feel the same exact way as Teagan :PI do have the occasional flaring up of hormones and libido.But I can handle the mood without having to do something about it.Of course, I could do something about it but eh... meh. I'm not very driven about it.I don't mind it at all if anybody feels like going at it like a bunny.Their choice. Whatever makes them happy. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gradient Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I can envision myself enjoying sex with a close partner. However, I would leave the if and when up to my partner, since I don't have a strong desire for sex. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lewis Pavey28 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 My opinion is as a demisexual is I find casual sex boring and would rather trip listening to pink Floyd for me I would only have sex with someone I care about on a emotional level 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bree65270 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm new to AVEN (as in, I joined about 15 minutes ago) so I have yet to experience the phenomenon of people thinking sexual people shouldn't have sex. Even I have sex....I don't enjoy it, but I'm not disgusted by it. It's just like an exercise to me. Right now I'm seeing a sexual man who knows I'm not "cumming" (eek, I have always been a little disgusted by that word though!) but he keeps thinking it's going to happen. I'm not really sure where I fall on the sexual scale just yet, so I try to hold back from yelling "give up it's never going to happen just enjoy yourself!" The presence of this thread makes me think I'm definitely in the minority with this opinion haha. I WISH I enjoyed sex! Either that or I wish no one enjoyed it so I am not forever the oddball. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm cupio and strongly suspect I'm demi. (Though I'm not entirely sure of my identity, either. But this is what I think seems to fit my experiences right now.) So I like the idea of sex in a close and committed relationship and imagine I would enjoy it. Though I guess expectation and reality aren't necessarily the same thing? Eh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
petquack77 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 I can picture myself on a (Good Day) having sex with a girl I love . Though I know when I finish I won't feel satisfied and later down the road she's going to want it constantly . That is just going to be annoying and feel like a chore for me and then the relationship falls apart. Source: Experience from last relationship. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WreckerChick Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I feel this topic is similar to discussing religious beliefs. Freedom to believe and practice one's faith (as long as it doesn't promote violence or harm to others) is a basic human right. I am not religious, but I don't care if others are and I don't judge them for what they choose to believe in. The problem happens when that attitude is not reciprocated. When people act like they're better than me and insist I should believe in God and go to church. Like when I tell them I don't believe in God and they make it their personal mission to convert me. I find myself in the same dilemma sometimes when dealing with sexuals. I don't want to have sex, but if other people do its none of my business. Who am I to judge? But there's always 'that guy' who, when I say I don't like sex, takes it like a personal challenge to change my mind. Ughhhh 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lewis Pavey28 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I'm a grey asexual I don't hate it or mind it I just find it boring I can live without it but if I was with someone I loved or cared for and they wanted sex I would have it apart from that rarely want it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mandarina Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Personally I find it fascinating. I love the diversity of human interests and that people can find all these interesting ways to connect with one another. Ditto! I enjoy reading scientific studies about sex. While I'm not interested in seeking it out, I have enjoyed sex in the past. I find that too! That's why I like sex, or I like to experiment with sexual fantasies, because I like sex, as sex itself, but I don't really seek it for myself, and i can also can enjoy some sort of sexual activities tht aren't inherently sexual or not explicit at least. For example, buying nice lingerie, has a sexual connotation, and I do get a pleasure when i do it even though afterwards i don't wear it when i have sex. And then there are things that i know that in real life i would never do, but i do enjoy picturing how it could feel engaging in those acts by the hand of different characters and/or stories (i'm never in those fantasies or are real persons). I also enjoy reading (mainly) about female sexuality, because as female i see that knowing my body in every aspect is important. But now about engaging actual sex, i have a various reasons why i don't mind it: 1- As and hypersexual, I have a really high libido and a need to have "sex", but in my case i don't really seek sex with someone, i just want to release it somehow and i do it by masturbating or i just let it being there (but if i'm with my boyfriend and my libido is just all over the top, it can be easy to engage sex even though i wouldn't seek it). 2 - As I enjoy physical/sensual pleasure, I don't really mind those intimate body parts being touched and i do enjoy those feelings. I don't consider it as sexual, because i don't feel the need to respond and touch the other person afterwards, I just like the feel. In fact, I feel somekind of gross actually desiring and doing it. But I can do it, when I do it is not that bad, but i don't get nothing by doing it, and well, if i get pleasure I just feel that it's ok to respond even if not the very best thing of the world. 3 - In a relationship, apart that while having sex some hormones are created that strenght the bond between the two (so i have some kind of scientific proof for wantig to engage sex, i don't imply that a sexless relationship is less profound, is just how i see things for myself), i also find sex to have some sort of metaphoric/metaphysical meaning, it's like the physical representation of an existing bond in an intellectual or metaphysical plane of two souls/people that comes to be something that can be seen or touched. This can be sexual, or just being cuddling naked next to each other, but in my case and considering my relationship, I find that meaning or that representation in the intercourse (penetration), here i don't include oral sex, for example, just that union and how both bodies perfectly fit in each other, like a puzzle. So suming all of those above, i don't mind sex because i can get nice physical sensations (for me have mainly sensual meaning), if my libido does bother i can get rid of it, and becasue i can represent physically the affective bond that i have with my boyfriend. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nymra Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I don't mind it at all. If they're having fun with it, why the fuck not? [okay, that was a bad pun] Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jaque Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I genuinly have no feelings on this subject. In fact in my world it feels as if it doesnt exist. Its a thing, I know it happens, but it happens behind closed doors (most of the time), I dont see it (deliberately), and I dont think about it. So in the bubble that is my world it does not exist. I admit I feel uncomfortable if people talk to me about it. But I'm quite good at ending the topic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HeartfulPeach Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I dont mind that people have sex either. Its not the end of the world, they are just doing what they like. Besides, noone can tell someone to not do something just because they arent into it. Everyone can do what they want with their life, its their life after all. And I think being condescending towards sexual people is not good. People should be accepting or at the very least respectful about other people's way of being, just like asexuals expect respect and acceptance from sexual people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WolfLady Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Hey, whatever floats their boat. I don't even think about having sex. Somone says the word "sex" and I think of what gender they are, that is sex to me, Male, female or Neuter. It isn't an act or anything to do, just a state of being in my mind. As for intercourse, yeah 2-3 times a year my husbands tells me to do it with him so, I do. No big deal, it's borring, i don't feel anything beyond pressuer, gotta pee, nope don't ahve to pee. That's all it is to me and, it's a chore I do now and then because I love him. He get it and has other means most of the time, just now and then he says it reenfoces that I love him in his mind. Okay if that's what works, I'll put up with it once in a while but, not if I have another choice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 It seems quite plausible to me that people without sexual attraction could still have hormones and erogenous zones that would lead to sexual touching being pleasant, assuming they're of course not sex-repulsed. Also I'm assuming there are probably some people who have sex for reasons other than lust; romance or intimacy, perhaps. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acegirl22 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 No, Actually i sometimes have sex to please my partner. On occasion, i suffer with the " Natural human urge" to Pro-create life. And when that happens, i have sex with my Boyfriend with protection. Its very rare, i usually just masturbate 3-4 times a day to control myself. To me, sex is slightly demeaning to my intelligence, and brings me down to a level of desperation that seems highly repulsive. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ysera Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I don't have anything against sex, everybody should enjoy sex as much as they want if that's their cup o'tea. Personally, I think sex is pretty interesting and cool and I envy people that can just spend a few minutes with their hands/toys and then they can go on with their lives happily and slightly more focused. I don't mind reading about it and I don't mind seeing it (though, porn without a plot is boring, most of the time), I get excited for my kinky friends that share their stories and I'm interested in the myriad of kinks and fetishes and toys that exist. Interested in a completely theoretical way. Though, as a nonlibidoist asexual that enjoys all of the above on a mental level it's highly disappointing to find out that nope, that really doesn't tickle your pickle. Nothing tickles your pickle. Your pickle shall remained untickled for the rest of its sour existence. The sad story of non-tickle-able pickles. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalKat Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It's so interesting, as a sexual, to hear people saying they don't think about sex. For sexual people, it's like the water we swim in. But I think we all have to be respectful of each other, which would include not only sexuals being empathetic toward asexuals, but vice versa. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Antidaeophobia Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I often feel out of place in that I'm an asexual who thinks sex for sexuals is a positive thing. I have no interest in doign it myself but if people like it and enjoy it I say good for them. So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? I've always been sex positive. As long as it's safe, consensual, and you're doing it because you enjoy it, I don't care if someone has sex. I never considered someday having sex to be off the menu, I always figured if I found the right person, and the feeling was right, and we both would enjoy it, I wouldn't be opposed to it- but sexuality would not be important to our relationship. As far as seeing people in a sexual light, or having lust for them, I just don't have it, and I've never felt attraction to someone I didn't have an emotional connection with first. I remember as a kid and teen, seeing my great grand parents, and great great aunts and uncles who were very elderly, and they loved each other so much. They truly loved spending time together and were best friends. I remember seeing them hold hands, or hug, and they loved each other very much. I remember thinking even when young 'I want that' but then starting to date, and getting bombarded with sexual affection, and feeling smothered because someone wanted to try and kiss me and touch me and I just wasn't into it, which they then claimed was because I was frigid. It made me really confused and upset because all I wanted was companionship, but without the obsession of having to kiss and have sex. I enjoy seeing other people in love, I like romantic stories, but I just can't see myself in that situation. I masturbate, but it's more because I like orgasms, it helps with my chronic pain, but the idea of getting penetrated by another person isn't really appealing to me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member91460 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Clinks glass* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member91460 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I think all people "think" about sex in a particular sense, although one could classify that as Lobito or romantic involvement. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andreas1033 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I personally when young dreaded the idea of sex. I thought it was disgusting. When you have no sex drive, sex is disgusting idea, but like others have said. To others sex is normal, and its like the air you breath. Others can do what they want, and do that stuff all they want. People can do what they want, as long as its legal, and of consent. What others do is there busines. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Unlabeled Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I often feel out of place in that I'm an asexual who thinks sex for sexuals is a positive thing. I have no interest in doign it myself but if people like it and enjoy it I say good for them. So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? If we were all asexual we wouldn't be here. So what other people wanna do more power to them. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Unpinned this thread, mentioned here under "Important Q&A threads" SkyWorld Asexual Q&A Co-Mod 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
yasmine R Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I found sex bizarre and awkward but still feel a little bit of curiosity Like maybe it will feel good emotionally not just the physical Pleasure but can't get my self to do it I feel that platonic relationships are enough for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedAceofHearts Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 To each their own. I don't like sex and I don't have sexual desires, but I see nothing wrong with other people having sex. I think sex positivity isn't just being positive towards having sex, but being positive towards everyone's individual level of sexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I don't mind sex. I'm interested in the concept behind it. As everyone around me is sexual I often feel that there's a certain aspect of their personality that I can't comprehend and the closer I am to someone, the more it annoys me. Sometimes it makes me really sad. I also don't care about sexual ads or anything similar (I just wonder "How is this half-naked body in any way connected to the advertised stack of tires next to it?") Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Momoo Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 I don't want to have sex myself but I don't mind it in general. People can talk about sex or even make sex jokes, I don't mind (I just think they aren't funny). The same basically goes for movies or books, even though I think it's unnecessary. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflytotheMoon Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 I can discuss sex, at times, especially, fetishes & enjoy it, as, I'm interested in what triggers people. It's more of an intellectual thing. I don't tend to be stimulated by it physically. With certain people I have liked sex, well enough. Which is why I'm demi ace. Though, I much prefer hugging, holding hands & kissing, rather than, other intimate acts. Even with those, it's more in an affectionate sense, instead of, passionate. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deleted_account Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 I'm asexual, but I'm willing to have sex if I like somebody. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
grumpygrim Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 I'm a bit of a weird ace since I actually like having sex, although there are acts I really despise (I mostly find them either boring or painful). I like giving, not receiving. It doesn't turn me on or anything, it just feels intimate and romantic. I absolutely loathe when she tries to reciprocate. Like, sure, I like releasing some pressure sometimes, but I'm not patient enough to wait for someone else to figure out how my body works. My right hand works fine, thank you very much :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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