Lychee Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I don't mind other people having sex, as long as everyone involved is consenting and they all use protectiong.Though I would probably feel uncomfortable/uneasy if they talked about it all the time. I know a few people whose only interest is sex and they can't seem to talk about anything else and it bothers me a bit. Otherwise, meh, I don't really care what people do with their body. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sheka4 Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I've been through the same thing, I was literally scared for weeks because I thought sex was a perfectly normal thing. I just think that Asexuals are like flowers, yes we belong to the same species in scientific terms, but each flower is individually diffrent from the one right next to it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FurrMurriX Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Don't really care. So long no one forces someone to do something they don't wanna do. Your choice and no one elses. I'd prefer just mot knowing about it xD Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sylphgoddess Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 honestly i think relating wanting to have sex to sexuality doesn't work. some sexuals simply dont want to have sexual relations. just like some asexuals can want to have sex. it's not as common but it can happen. sex for all people can be either very fun or pleasurable, just so-so like making coffee, and for some it's disgusting and traumatizing. linking sexual behaviour to sexuality shouldn't actually happen. just like you can have sex with someone you aren't romantically attracted to, the same could be said of having sex with someone you aren't sexually attracted to. sex can be something simply to enjoy, whether or not you feel anything for the other person is rather irrelevant. this is only my opinion. you don't have to agree or disagree. personally i'm in the sex is 'ew' category. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sylphgoddess Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Yup. c: I still enjoy it because it feels good...But this is always the thing that trips some people up. "But then you're not really an asexual..." UH NO, EXCUSE YOU. >:c i completely agree with this statement it's what i was trying to get at in my previous post Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trixietang Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I actually just learned about the term asexual and I never before have felt more at home. I questioned how I could be asexual when I have had sex, with more than one person, but I've never enjoyed it. I'm happy to see that there are others out there like me, and that I am an asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Petticoats and cuddles Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I don't mind sex, but I don't go LOOKING for it or something. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Would I mind sex? Hmm. It's been occurring to me recently that if I did have sex, it would bother me more to do it with a sexual than with an asexual. Don't ask me how I'd end up doing it with another asexual, no idea. But... there it is, that's my gut reaction to whether or not I'd mind. It would probably bother me a lot if I did it with a sexual, because I would be feeling that it was "mandatory" in order to avoid a breakup or her being miserable and unsatisfied, and that would be bad. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kikicola Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 It took me a long time to realize that I was asexual, and I have actually had sex a couple of times when I was still trying to figure out, for lack of a better term, what was wrong with me. As far as sex goes, I guess I would say that I don't really mind it. I don't love it, I don't seek it out, and I don't really see the appeal in general, but it's not like it's the worst thing in the world (for me, anyway). It's something to do. I just don't feel any kind of connection or passion or, most importantly, desire - and that makes me feel pretty indifferent about the entire experience. What I really mind is the idea that I am supposed to want to have sex. Honestly, I don't even want to date any more because I feel like there is this expectation that I am supposed to put out on the third date - regardless of how I feel about sex - if I want to continue on to a serious relationship. I actually feel anxious when I meet someone that I could eventually have romantic feelings about, because society has drilled into my brain that a woman who won't have sex is defective or frigid in some way. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 For the most part, I don't care about it. I'm open to having sex, as long as I know the person (and probably depending on various other factors). As for my view on sexuals, it's their business who they frick-frack, but if it's all that they ever talk or think about, they should probably spend at least a week out of the bedroom (and any other place where sex is possible) and see if they can act on any other thoughts. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rye Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Well... kissing seems fine, if I KNOW that it benefits the other... as for sex... I could die without... (however once again, given an enourmous amount of time with said person, making sure that person totally requires that like air or something... if it helps ?) That is a difficult question and reminds me of that one picture where that one guy sticks his finger in a girls nose and that looks really uncomfortable. (analogy to sex). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DivinePrince Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I am a Sex-Positive Asexual. Sex is very interesting to me. I read about it, I have my own personal fetishes, I write and draw porn, I think that sex is a beautiful thing. Sexual people need Sex to feel like they are communicating their love deeply. that's okay with me. But me; I'm just not into that. I'm not interested in participating in sexual activities. But if you are, that's okay. i have humour- I can make jokes and stuff. I just don't have that kind of desire for other people. I am against sex-repulsed Asexuals. Sorry but I am. I have seen people call sex 'gross' and 'icky' and 'why would you do this' and I think that's a bit offensive like.... would YOU like it if a Sexual person said that asexuality was 'unnatural' and 'weird'? How would you feel about that? You could have just said 'It's just not something I'm interested/ I just don't have those kinds of desires ect..." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WuNsChKiNd89 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I consider myself a sex-positive ace (I have a libido, though low, and sometimes masturbate, though i have never experienced sexual attraction to another person); i've yet to actually have sex but it's probably pretty safe to say I won't have anything against it when I finally decide to do it. I always try to keep in mind that sexual people need it in their relationships, but often I find myself forgetting just how much it's on people's minds. My one girlfriend (as in girl+friend, not partner) is VERY sexual and has one of the highest sex drives of all my friends. I know because she talks about sex/guys CONSTANTLY. I have no problems with it outright and she's one of my closest friends, but after a while it gets tiring to listen to. I find sex quite fascinating, anything from the mechanics of it to how steeped society is in it. What makes me more uncomfortable than anything, weirdly enough, is PDA. when my friends or family (the worst is with my bro and his g/f) are with significant others and are touchy-feely or kiss, it really weirds me out. It just feels so awkward to stand there.. awkwardly.. god now i'm typing awkwardly just thinking about it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I am against sex-repulsed Asexuals. Sorry but I am. I have seen people call sex 'gross' and 'icky' and 'why would you do this' and I think that's a bit offensive like.... would YOU like it if a Sexual person said that asexuality was 'unnatural' and 'weird'? How would you feel about that? You could have just said 'It's just not something I'm interested/ I just don't have those kinds of desires ect..." Some food for thought: people don’t say these things to spoil anyone’s fun. They actually feel this way. If you’re denying them the right to feel the way they do, that’s pretty narrow-minded. Are vegetarians only allowed to ‘not like’ slaughtering? An example that’s less extreme: If you absolutely hate eating sausages with cherry jam, you’d surely want to call it ‘gross’? I’m sure that most people who love this dish won’t take offence at that. And by the way, IMO you can be sex-repulsed and sex-positive at the same time, they’re not mutually exclusive. Live and let live. Also, everyone has their own definition of what's 'weird' and what's not. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Agreed, androyd. I think there's a difference in saying something is "gross" or "icky", and saying that a PERSON is gross and icky for liking those things. One is expressing an opinion about personal experience and the other takes a more offensive stance. Just like there is a difference in saying you are "against sex-repulsed people" or saying that you disagree with sex-repulsion. One talks about sex-repulsed perspective and the other talks about the people whom identify as sex-repulsed. It's important to distinguish these things when trying to discuss difference of opinion; especially when it is harder to establish tone in text. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Just like there is a difference in saying you are "against sex-repulsed people" or saying that you disagree with sex-repulsion. One talks about sex-repulsed perspective and the other talks about the people whom identify as sex-repulsed. Thanks, byanyothername - I'm glad that someone understands where I'm coming from. You hit the nail right on the head, I couldn't have said it better. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sakurastar Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Sex for me is an non issue. To me, it is like tumble drying. Some people do it, some people don't, and some people pay to have strangers do it. Not as many tumble drying magazines on the top shelf though. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lemonpie Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I mind it. I do not want such intimate contact with anyone. I may don't mind it if I happen to find someone I truly love and trust to get as far as that intimate, but would probably do it only occasionally or rarely (due to mental illness, in this case). I find it ok to discuss sex on a healthy way, but not for too long. Though, "kinky" (not sure which term would fit better) stuff and talking sound utterly disrespectful to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
writeandrand-SHINY Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I agree. We can dislike it, and they can like it! It's a fair thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alanabeth Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I don't mind having sex. I don't do it often because people expect more than I can give. I guess even though I don't see others in a sexual way I see myself feeling aroused from stimulation and it feels ok if I the right moment. It's hard to find. There has to be boundaries between the people. Amendment Added a whole after post was posted: I looked over posts and it seems that sex is mainly penetrated related (Anal sex, oral sex, or the baby making kind) all of which I do in fact mind. I guess it's safe to say that I'm more sensual than sexual. I don't mind cuddling or caressing close consenting friends, but it's not for arousal but for another line of intimacy which remains nameless because I haven't though of one yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cosmic-ace Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I am in a lonely place where I identify somewhere on the asexual spectrum in that I am not attracted to people, but I do have a sex drive and curiosity and would not mind sex. I have been told that this means I cannot be asexual, but I know that's not true since I really don't want to have sex with anyone, I just kind of want to have sex in general. So yes, people should be able to have and want/not want sex without worry of judgement. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gary80 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Like a normal relationship but rather dislike the intercurse bit, Not needed for a full open relationship in my opinion Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BadAlchemy Posted November 11, 2014 Share Posted November 11, 2014 For me, sexual attraction is so fleeting that I just think, "Meh" in a few minutes, if not seconds. Socially, I find sex to be annoying - it's over saturated. I masturbate, but only because orgasms feel good. I just think of it as getting high for a bit. Why not? It's free and legal. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Darkhorse Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I know my soon to be husband wants sex, since it's apart of marriage. I guess I'm going to gave to try to keep an open mind about sex, so that both of us can be happy. I actually wouldn't mind since I love him with all my heart. I hope I don't get the off by it though 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
James Oswald Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't mind sex, but I do ask for acceptance from everyone who's sexual. Since I'm okay with their need, they must understand that I don't have it. I'd rather have ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ClearCrystal Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Any men out there who are legitimate Asexual (not gay but neutral to lean straight) get a T level (testosterone) test and have no visible bodily side effects such as hair loss or muscle atrophy or trouble gaining muscle mass? Weird question huh? I'll explain: I'm trying to figure out what T level I need to shoot for that might possibly reduce my sex drive to I guess what I assume would be Asexual level norms. (If there is such a thing) I understand the differences in preference to male or female. So I'm looking for someone knowledgeable from the lean straight to absolute neutral spectrum. I really do not want to lose masculinity and want to work out with shown results but I am a Christian and so I am looking to not aggrivate libido(which ironically goes up when I train) In other words I'm looking to steer clear of what I understand is sin yet not destroy what I believe to be by God's design AND be able to gain strength. And was hoping for a T level sweet spot that would address my goals. So if there is anyone who as undergone this test I would sincerely thank you for any insights. God bless. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kat_xk8 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I actually mind it and have no intentions of ever having sex. not quite sure why many sexuals cant accept it but I can and its my life people say oh its fear of the uknown - no its not. I know what sex is and I haven't a clue why on earth people would move heaven and earth for that? I myself cant have kids. sex serves absolutely no purpose to me. it means nothing to me. see this isn't about what sex means to sexuals in my life its about me and what it is to me - nothing !!! people would aren't you curious - no im not I don't have to have sex, want to have sex or ever going to so in closing I mind it !!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chloes Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Don't mind but don't like to feel obliged, like with a sexual it's mandatory. It is the observation of my partner's behaviour/emotions during the act that intrigues me, not so much the act itself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
purplemutant Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Any men out there who are legitimate Asexual (not gay but neutral to lean straight) get a T level (testosterone) test and have no visible bodily side effects such as hair loss or muscle atrophy or trouble gaining muscle mass? Weird question huh? I'll explain: I'm trying to figure out what T level I need to shoot for that might possibly reduce my sex drive to I guess what I assume would be Asexual level norms. (If there is such a thing) I understand the differences in preference to male or female. So I'm looking for someone knowledgeable from the lean straight to absolute neutral spectrum. I really do not want to lose masculinity and want to work out with shown results but I am a Christian and so I am looking to not aggrivate libido(which ironically goes up when I train) In other words I'm looking to steer clear of what I understand is sin yet not destroy what I believe to be by God's design AND be able to gain strength. And was hoping for a T level sweet spot that would address my goals. So if there is anyone who as undergone this test I would sincerely thank you for any insights. God bless. There is no such thing as "Asexual level norms" in regards to sex drive. Asexuality is about sexual attraction not libido. You can have plenty of sex drive (like I do) and be asexual. As to what testosterone level to shoot for; I would imagine that depends on the person. T doesn't affect everyone the same. To reduce testosterone levels a testosterone blocker is taken. The most common (in the US anyway) is spironolactone. It has the side effect of being a diuretic. That's one thing I REALLY disliked about it. It was a pain to have to go urinate all the time. I plan on going back on hormones at some point; if I do I plan on taking a much lower dose of spironolactone than I did before. Another problem you may run into is getting a doctor to go along with your plan. Your best bet is to talk to your doctor and see what they think. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chatelaine Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I often feel out of place in that I'm an asexual who thinks sex for sexuals is a positive thing. I have no interest in doign it myself but if people like it and enjoy it I say good for them. So any other asexuals think sexuals should be free to have sex and asexuals should be be free to not have sex? Hi, I'm new here! I'm Willa. This is one of the reasons I'm so glad I found this community! I'm still trying to come to grips/understand my asexuality and, at the same time, grapple with my hope that I can have companionable relationships with someone of the opposite sex (I think I'm hetero in that I did share a bed with a man for four years and didn't mind it so long as we were sleeping/talking and not having sex, ha!). I'm still totally trying to wrap my head around everything but this really resonated with me because even though I don't have the desire for sexual relationships, I do understand that it matters greatly in other people's lives. I'm a writer, actually, so I find that I do need to deeply attempt to understand a sexual person's experience. But that being said, the only reason I ever watch sex scenes in movies, or read smutty things, or anything like that is purely research! Anyway, glad to be here! This is a really great thread. - Willa 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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