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Just want to say thank you


zulk

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VivreEstEsperer

It's so good to have you here Zulk - glad you finally discovered it. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?

The board has actually only been here for about a year so you wouldn't have had much luck five or ten years ago. But we hope you enjoy it as much as possible now.

What would have been different if you had known? We love stories... tell us your story if you're comfortable to. :)

I hope you had a happy new year!

Kate

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Oh, yes, saved. Makes us sound like a cult. In addition to being saved you can send us all your money. In return, if you're worthy, you can have an asexual T-Shirt (maybe, if anything on the matter is ever decided... whatever the case may be, we'll certainly be willing to take your money).

Welcome to the board!

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Hi guys!

And thanks!

I wasn't expecting a welcoming commitee :)

The board has actually only been here for about a year so you wouldn't have had much luck five or ten years ago. But we hope you enjoy it as much as possible now.

Hehe, yeah. I realized that when I saw AVENguy was registered 2002-06-30 or something ;)

He's the one who runs the place, right?

What would have been different if you had known? We love stories... tell us your story if you're comfortable to. :)

It's still a bit early I think. I found language and foundation for a fair portion of my thoughts just the other day. But I could give it a shot. I think I'll start from the beginning, and see where I end up.

As a child I was very interested in girls and sex and everyting like that. Pretty shy though, but I had an idea of what I wanted.

But then I had my share of misfortune (to cut a long story a little less long). By the time things started to happen to my body I was very paranoid and had turned myself completely inwards.

So there I was. I wasn't interested in other people, but my hormones just wouldn't listen. I was forced to jerk off a dozen times a day. Sex fixation turned into sex fixation fixation and life was miserable. I hated sex and everything about sex. I despised it. Yet sex was everywhere - even in school books.

If somebody just would have talked about my kind of problems, or even just mentioned something related, I would have been able to put words on what I felt. Not that I had anyone to talk to, but it still would have been a great help. Instead I had this great big cloud of thoughts and emotions which I could neither grasp nor ignore. I'm not sure I would have listened at that point, but eventually I learned to cope with it anyway.

Many years later. I was just about to turn 20, I wasn't so paranoid anymore, and I had enough friends. I had healed pretty good and was a healty asexual young man. Still somewhat sex fixation fixated, but at least no problems with jerking off. Hey, you gotta empty the bag sometimes.

Then I met this girl. And all of a sudden everything turned so damn complicated. That's really another story, but if I would have known before that point what I do know now, maybe the following year wouldn't have been so painful.

(now I'm 23 and we're still great friends)

Okay. So that's my story.

Now that I wrote it all down I realise that I could have gotten down my point in a single sentence.

Coming here has made me realise that my problem is something real and not just some crap I made up inside my crazy mind.

And that f*cking matters.

Thanks a million for asking me to tell!

And I guess I do feel kindof saved. Or maybe saved is the wrong word. It feels like I've been juggling these six balls for a very long time, and all of a sudden I can put down three of them.

So, how much is the T-shirt? ;)

Mattias

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Um, this is my thread anyway, so I'll just write some more for whoever is interested :)

I don't think I'd call myself asexual today. Well, maybe earlier today, but not right now. It's a mood thing.

That's really stupid and it makes things complicated, but I can't help it. Now at least I know what it is, so I can try to deal with it in some rational way. Before I just got confused and did nothing.

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