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Does anyone totally not date at all?


soma55

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I don't date, don't go to bars, haven't joined Match.com or EHarmony.com (or whatever). I'm just wondering if there are any other Avenites out there who drifting through life alone soley based on the fact that it seems impossible to find that one other person who believes there is more to life than sex. I'm basically just thinking out loud here.... :wink:

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Sure..I'm single (didn't used to be..was married but that seems like another life now). I don't "date" or "look for" partners but I do have a reasonable social life meaning that I will go and see friends/to a party every other month or so, sometimes a bit more often.

roddy

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I have had a very few dates in my life, just going out and having a good time, nothing sexual. I haven't done that for many years. I don't drink alchol, so bars are generally out for me, and I'm frankly not interested in the dating sites. My gay friends are the only men that I'm interested in these days. Besides, there are very few single men my age that are worth the trouble.

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I don't date, never have, but it's not because finding what I want seems impossible, it's because I like what I have. While I am not opposed to dating, I always have been, and still am quite happily single.

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I've never dated either. Didn't seem worth the effort since I figured if I dated someone long enough she would want it to become a physical relationship and that wasn't going to happen. I've been fine with friends I've meet at school, work, clubs, or groups.

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I've never really dated so to speak. I managed to stumble into a relationship a couple of years ago (and stumble back out four months later), but I've never actively searched for anything.

That isn't to say that I wouldn't like to. I'd like to find a nice relationship with a nice asexual girl, but finding that via the kind of methods in your original post seem pretty unlikely. So it's drifting through for me too.

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I don't date anymore. It's a real drag when they all wanna have sex with you five minutes after meeting you... this guy actually wanted to marry me a week after meeting me (he was kind of unstable, though), another one wanted me to move in with him and we weren't even dating, we were just co-workers who got along good and talked a lot (he was on dope anyway), this other dude wanted me to become a pagan, like him. (Like, I'm just not into this Fertility Goddess stuff.) I'm cool with pagans, I'm just not cool with people rearranging my entire existence without my consent... Like, these jerks really move things along fast, huh? So, I decided, like, forget it. Dating is a drag anyway.

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I've gone on a handful of dates in the past 5 years or so, but never dated. I like my life the way it is, for the most part. . . and I seem to have a genetic condition that precludes me falling in love, or it least it has so far. It would be cruel to date someone when I can fall "in like" but not "in love," although I think that I've hurt some peoples' feelings because of my inability to explain that concept well.

Friendship is fine, but dating? No, I don't think so.

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I don't think I have ever been on a "date". I enjoy going out with other people, but as friends. I freak out if it becomes more than that.

What exactly is a date anyway?

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What exactly is a date anyway?

Date (daet) noun: A social activity where a single individual, hereinafter referred to as the "dater," specifically invites the "datee" to some activity, normally just involving the two individuals or at best having evenly matched numbers of the various "daters" and "datees", with each individually asked on the activity by one other person. Oftentimes the "dater" engages in solicitous behaviors to the "datee" involving opening doors and potentially buying meals and entrance to various pay-for activities.

However, it's possible to loosen up the definition and/or formality of the activity or invitation in question to the point where one or both individuals is unsure as to whether the activity is, in fact, a date. This often happens in more casual social situations. In can often lead to confusion between the two parties as to the relative status of the relationship under consideration.

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I don't date, but it is not for lack of desire to date. I have just never been good at finding someone to ask, asking someone out, etc.

I guess I always feared rejection.

. . .and of course I fear that someone will want a sexual relationship.

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I have been on a few "official" dates, but they were awkward and I didn't really enjoy them very much.

A date with an asexual might be different, but I don't know.

I much prefer casual outings where there are no expectations of any kind and no implied relationship - pending or otherwise - just people enjoying each other's company and conversations. It might be the same exact activity that someone else would call a date, but I think that the freedom from any kind of expectations is what makes it different.

As for who picks up the tab ... with my friends it's usually whoever is flush with money at the moment. It all works out about even in the long run, anyway, so we don't sweat it too much.

-GB

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0 dates, formal or otherwise, regardless. And 0...anyways u get it. I feel embarassed and would never mention these in person.

I'm very anti-expectation, but i'm still open to breaking my zeroness, since new experiences are always welcomed good or bad.

I haven't even hit the asexual issue yet n im stuck at zero. Uh, suddenly feeling kinda...unwell now? feel like stabbing myself again when the time comes, this time with a sharper tool...ignore that, sorry guys i really need to leave n think of something happier...

Edit: On afterthot. I'm rather happy with my friends. Since when I talk/txt to friends, most times they respond :D .

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Genetically_Dead

I have a date today. (Husband is taking me out to the DMV then the eye Doctor. We might have lunch out. Then it's of to his parents home and may be I'll see my dreadful step-sons. Sorry there is nothing wrong with the step-sons but they are often rude to me.) Afterall, it's my birthday! :D Might even get me some. :wink:

Ice cream and cake that is. :lol:

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I was trapped into going on one date. I thought I was going to the movies with a friend, when we suddenly stopped in front of a house. I gave him a puzzled look and he said, “Let's go in and get our dates.” I almost threw up. I slid into the out-of-body, zombie mode, went inside the house and met the actual Queen of Mean. She was all prepared to handle a sexual predator. She twisted everything I said, every expression on my face, and every body movement, into some shrewd move on my part to get into her pants. It was winter, and at one point, during this memorable evening, she slipped on the ice and I caught her by the arm to prevent her from falling. She spun around and told me that she would cut my balls off if I ever touched her again. The next time she slipped, I let her fall. I later learned that she thought I was gay because I didn't try to make a move.:shock: That was my one date. I enjoy going out with close friends, but I've never felt the need to 'date'.

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AverageGuyOnTheStreet

I don't date. I'm just not into that kind of stuff.

But I do have some very close friends who I like spending time with so I'm quite happy with that. I don't like to get too close to people so friendship is as far as I would go.

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Well..mmmm...I dated with boys in the past,but I actually don't date because I prefer women,and all women I know are lesbian,and I am asexual,so I date with some friends women to go to the cinema or to the theatre or to go to restaurants for dinner .I enjoy with them drinking,eating some "tapas" and talking.I tried to participate in Parship gay,But I haven't luck at all.I think that is very difficult for us dating. :(

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I've never really dated either, also don't drink, so bars etc are pointless (well, to me they are). Like the poster above I did "drift" into a relationships some years ago, lasted all of five months for obvious reasons.....

Since then I guess I've become very cynical - not how I'd like to be but we as asexuals do seem to have less options.

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I don't date, never have, but it's not because finding what I want seems impossible, it's because I like what I have. While I am not opposed to dating, I always have been, and still am quite happily single.

That's me in a nutshell. Don't date, because I like being a hermit. :lol:

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I've made arrangements where I don't know someone well, and we've met to go see a movie, or go for walks. The expectation was always pretty ambiguous. It might be a date. It might not be a date. "...We are just spending the time talking and doing stuff...la, la, la..."

I've cemented some nice friendships that way. One or two relationships as well, (well, until the whole physical thing tended to ruin it).

The best "date' (in terms of being amusing to me) was the time i went out on a "date that wasn't a date".

A guy I knew and i made plans to go to a book club meeting together. Only because my car had died. Normally I used to wear jeans and a t shirt whenever I went out --out of pure spite and stubbornness. He was used to that.

This day I had a dress on. He did a pretty amusing double take, but we settled back into our just us guys mode for a bit. But noticed an interesting phenomena.

What was interesting to me was how easily two people can fall into "couple" roles without actually being a couple.

At one point came the question of "should we bring something? It fell to me to decide. We even had a minor argument about some stuff he said at the book club meeting. (We've never even remotely done anything coupley in the past).

And he dropped me off at my door and watched to make sure i made it back in safely.

But it was never officially "a date"....

it was perfect. never had better.

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I've made arrangements where I don't know someone well, and we've met to go see a movie, or go for walks. The expectation was always pretty ambiguous. It might be a date. It might not be a date. "...We are just spending the time talking and doing stuff...la, la, la..."

I've cemented some nice friendships that way. One or two relationships as well, (well, until the whole physical thing tended to ruin it).

The best "date' (in terms of being amusing to me) was the time i went out on a "date that wasn't a date".

A guy I knew and i made plans to go to a book club meeting together. Only because my car had died. Normally I used to wear jeans and a t shirt whenever I went out --out of pure spite and stubbornness. He was used to that.

This day I had a dress on. He did a pretty amusing double take, but we settled back into our just us guys mode for a bit. But noticed an interesting phenomena.

What was interesting to me was how easily two people can fall into "couple" roles without actually being a couple.

At one point came the question of "should we bring something? It fell to me to decide. We even had a minor argument about some stuff he said at the book club meeting. (We've never even remotely done anything coupley in the past).

And he dropped me off at my door and watched to make sure i made it back in safely.

But it was never officially "a date"....

it was perfect. never had better.

I think that's why I say I don't date. Because from my point of view, what you had was a date. When I go out for lunch with someone - it's a date but the lord of the lexicon (whoever it is) would probably say 'no, it's not a date unless you kiss/screw/flirt/see each other again etc'.

My friend of 21 years and I went out every Saturday night, just for supper, just to catch up with each others' news. When there were family functions, he was always there with me, if he wasn't, people would ask where he was. Like you said, we were a 'couple' without being a couple and it was great.

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I don't date, never have, but it's not because finding what I want seems impossible, it's because I like what I have. While I am not opposed to dating, I always have been, and still am quite happily single.

That's me in a nutshell. Don't date, because I like being a hermit. :lol:

Wow ziffler comment really hit home with me because a man i really,really like is like ziffler, he rather be alone then serious date or make a commitment with a woman.

Me, I never been on a romantic date and i have given up on men after men passing me by and i've decided to be alone.

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Last time I remember going on a date was about four years ago. I dated off-and-on for 13 years and never understood why people enjoyed it.

I like the companionship and affection but not the "rules" and expectations.

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But would you date me if I ever make it down there again, Xen? Coz we both know the 'rules' and that's that there ain't any.

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Sure, as long as we can use sign language in front of others and pretend we're talking about them :wink:. Paranoia is amusing.

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I dated when I was younger and didn't enjoy it.

Luckily in Winnipeg there is an alternative. Going Out For Coffee. This is what I like to do. Ideally meet a friend in a bookstore, browse, have coffee and talk for hours. Then go home to my very own snug, single, well-organized, "All Mine" apartment.

I find the best "coffee dates" are with heterosexual single women - preferably older and not looking. Then we can actually talk about something besides men.

Bars are no fun at all if you are a non-drinker, and the atmosphere is not conducive to good conversation. I think the coffee shop is where it's at.

Oh, I'm a 41 year old woman in case you were wondering. Aromantic and Asexual. But I really like hanging out with my kids (3 sons, 10 - 19) and my friends.

Endurance

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