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Next Step for Pamphlets (my bad!)


AVENguy

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I'd like to add (because no-one has mentioned it) that calling on nebulous (or any) professional authorities (eg. "most therapists agree") could lead to some serious problems. Especially as leaves AVEN open to (unfounded) accusations of trying to represent or replace professional authorities. Besides, can that particular claim be substantiated? I am sceptical about the idea that most therapists have any personal opinion about asexuality, let alone have come to any collective agreement about it. I would suggest leaving therapists out of it.

That's a good point, Omnes. I never realized that was in there, eep!

I don't mind the quotes, but I think it's essential that we use real names instead of usernames...wouldn't want it to look like the people quoted were somehow embarrassed about their quotes.

I'm with Cerhiunnhn and winter on that one, Ily--nobody reading will give a fig who these people are. Usernames are right out, but real names aren't that much better. (Also, privacy is a real concern for most.) If we have quotes, it's best to simply have them unattributed. Again, I point to the AANZ pamphlets.

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Yes, I like the AANZ leaflet as well (with the proviso that it's slightly long).

A lot of this leaflet, and the earlier discussion, came from feeling we had to react at speed to a previous draft - I think we hoped to get it more right for the conference echidna went to in the Spring - although the PT members then involved thought they had been consulting for ages.

I wrote my quote in a discussion (then) around how non-hetero As were represented previously, and I still look embarrassed by it here, since I'm one of only two without a photo - I just didn't have the technology to send a photo through in a hurry. We need to stop going at this in fits and starts somehow. Although I can see a resolution would also be good!

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Hello!

I have been working on this (taking longer than I thought, and I'm getting some more heads working on this too), but I've been at work full time, and I've been sick.

But it is being worked on, honest!

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  • 2 weeks later...

This is pretty much finished... I'll let you know if I make any last minute changes. I'm happy for other opinions, but I'm fairly satisfied that this covers all the questions that people first have about is.

The formatting isn't done, but this would be fairly straight foward - much like the AANZ pamphlet, text with some diagrams, if we think them necessary. :)

Cover:

Not Everyone is Looking for Sex

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction

===================================

Simply put, asexual people are not interested in having sex.

They are not driven to seek sexual partners or sexual relationships. In a culture which places a high premium on sexuality, life as an asexual person can be difficult and confusing. Asexuality is a largely unrecognized and rarely discussed orientation. This pamphlet is designed to give a basic understanding of some issues surrounding asexuality.

Is asexuality the same as abstinence or celibacy?

No. Celibate people choose to abstain from sexual relationships, while asexual people do not feel compelled to form them. Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing people who do not experience sexual attraction.

Can asexual people fall in love?

Yes! Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everyone else, and vary widely in how they fulfil or express these needs. Some asexuals are happiest on their own or with a group of close friends, while others have a desire to date and seek long-term partners. In relationships with sexual people, they may choose to have sex.

What do asexuals' relationships look like?

Sexual or not, all relationships are made up of the same basic elements. Communication, closeness, fun, excitement, and trust all happen just as much in non-sexual relationships as in sexual ones. Asexual people are given few expectations about the way their intimate relationships will or should work, and often blur the lines between friendship and romance.

Can someone who is asexual also identify as straight, gay, lesbian, or bi?

Many asexuals can be emotionally and/or romantically, but not sexually, attracted to other people and may identify as gay, lesbian, bi, or straight. Labels and categories do not define you, they describe you. There is no reason why anyone has to identify as just one thing.

Ultimately, only you can decide if the asexual label accurately describes how you feel.

Asexuality is NOT:

- celibacy

- androgyny

- sexual repression or aversion

- sexual dysfunction

- fear of intimacy

- the inability to find a partner

Asexual people ARE:

- in need of friendship and support just like everybody else

- able to fall in love with other asexuals or sexual people

- capable of arousal and orgasm

- of all ages, genders, and backgrounds

- straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or... not

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I like it!

It's accurate, direct, and stays squarely on topic.

I would have no qualms at all about distributing a pamphlet like that. What's even better is that it won't become outdated if any key members should happen to leave the community and decide that they don't want to be quoted or pictured any more.

-GB

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I think this looks really good. I have a few nit-picky thoughts that I'll keep to myself, as they, in no way, affect the bulk of the material or the message it is clearly giving, but I do have to express one concern.

Bootstrap Bill mentioned that they'd like to see a blurb about aromantics, and I feel like the very last little bullet does not really describe that to the extent that it should.

I don't really like the term "aromantic", but it is highly used both here and in all of the conversations I've ever had with people about asexuality, so I think the term should be further explained. Perhaps, under "Can someone who is asexual also identify as straight, gay, lesbian, or bi?" say:

Many asexuals can be emotionally and/or romantically, but not sexually, attracted to other people and may further identify as gay, lesbian, bi, or straight. There are also some asexuals who identify as aromantic, or those who are not emotionally and/or romantically attracted to anyone. Labels and categories do not define you, they describe you. There is no reason why anyone has to identify as just one thing.

If that gets explained, then I also think the bottom bullet should be changed to match... That "... not" doesn't fit with the rest of this draft's professional feel to me.

Just some thoughts...

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Good idea, Cole.

A few people I've talked to have expressed dislike for the last line: ""straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or... not", and I don't think it's quite as smooth as it could be. Are there any other suggestions?

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Well, if you put in a line about how some asexuals define as aromantic, then the last bullet could be changed to:

- straight, gay, lesbian, bi, aromantic, or undefined.

If we really want to be PC across all boards (And include those who identify as pan, etc.), it could say

Asexual people ARE:

- able to identify further, based on emotional and/or romantic attraction.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, again, that you did a really good job with this, Kezzoo. Nice work!

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It wasn't all me... I had some good buddies that did a lot!

Well, then pass a YOU FRICKIN' ROCK! along from me.

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Well done. I think that's much clearer. I agree with gbrd143 - I'd be happy to distribute this. Thanks very much for spending your time getting this a big step closer (hopefully!) to production.

I've made a couple of points below and some suggested changes to the text. These aren't major so if others don't seem them as improvements, I think the pamphlets would still be fine (assuming the graphics are OK!). Some of the suggested changes in words may be due to their different connotations in different cultures - if this is to be distributed mostly to American students, obviously it should be optimised for that audience so my suggestions might be inappropriate. In any case, when you are trying to get it to fit nicely on the page, it might be necessary to adjust the words a bit to get the paragraphs the right length.

1) I think the cover could just have the definition of an asexual. If I read "Not everyone is looking for sex" I read it as "not everyone is sex-obsessed" i.e. there are people who want other things in their relationships, which refers to a lot (most?!) people. If removing that means the really important info (i.e. the bit indicating this a pamphlet about asexuality) can be more prominent, it might be better to do so.

2) I'd agree with the point made about 'aromantics' feeling left out, and not liking the term but not having a better one. I incorporated Coleslaw's text below.

3) If possible the lists should be on the back page when the leaflet is folded so they can be seen easily - I think they are really important.

4) I assume the AVEN website will be incorporated somewhere

I've copied the original text below, added some bits in bold, crossed out some bits and put comments in italics to explain why I've suggested those changes. As I said, many of you will be much better judges of whether the changes are improvements or not so I'm just throwing this out there for consideration. I hope I havne't overdone it!

Cover:

Not Everyone is Looking for Sex

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction

===================================

Simply put, asexual people have no desire for are not interested in having sex. They are not driven to seek sexual partners or sexual relationships [what's the difference?]. In a culture which places a high premium on sexuality, life as an asexual person can be difficult and confusing. Asexuality is a largely unrecognized and rarely discussed orientation. [I moved this to the end so it oculd be expanded a bit] This pamphlet is designed to give a basic understanding of some issues surrounding asexuality. Whether you think you might be asexual or know you are not, we hope you this pamphlet gives you a better understanding of what asexuality means. [use of 'we' to make it more 'friendly'. Avoid the word 'issues'.]

Is asexuality the same as abstinence or celibacy?

No. Celibate people choose to abstain from sexual relationships, while asexual people do not feel compelled to form them. Asexuality is not a choice, it is a sexual orientation describing people who do not experience sexual attraction. [avoid repeating previous paragraph too much] An orientation describes how people feel, not what they do. Some asexuals participate in sexual behaviour for the pleasure of others. [moved from below to emphasise that asexuals are not necessarily celibate]

Can asexual people fall in love?

Yes.! Asexuals can experience romantic attraction without sexual attraction. [added because I think this is an important distinction lots of people don't recognise ] Asexual people have the same range of emotional needs as everyone else, and vary widely in how they fulfil or express these needs. Some asexuals are happiest on their own or with a group of close friends, while others have a desire to date and seek long-term partners. In relationships with sexual people, they may choose to have sex. [moved]

What do asexuals' relationships look like? [shouldn't this be "asexual relationships"? - you wouldn't say "sexuals' relationships"]

Sexual or not, all relationships are made up of the same basic elements [actually I think what people mean by 'relationships' varies so much that you can't really say this]. Asexual relationships are based on elements that are also important for many sexual people: understanding, communication, emotional intimacy closeness, fun, excitement , fun and trust all happen just as much in non-sexual relationships as in sexual ones. Physical intimacy may be very important, or minimal [so people don't think asexuals wouldn't touch each other, but acknowledging that some don't]. Asexual people are given few expectations about the way their intimate relationships will or should work, and often blur the lines between friendship and romance.

Can someone who is asexual also identify as straight, gay, lesbian, or bi? How does asexuality relate to other sexual identities?[I think gender-identity should be incorporated somehow - don't want anyone feeling left out]

Many asexuals can be emotionally and/or romantically, but not sexually, attracted to other people and may further identify as gay, lesbian, bi, or straight. There are also some asexuals who identify as aromantic, or those who are not emotionally and/or romantically attracted to anyone. Male, female and transgender people can identify as asexual. Labels and categories do not define you, they describe you. There is no reason why anyone has to identify with just one group as just one thing. Each word has a recognised definition but it is for each individual to decide how to use these words to describe themselves. [if you keep your words, perhaps change 'thing' to 'group'.]

Ultimately, only you can decide if the asexual label accurately describes how you feel.

[what distinction do you have in mind between emotional and romantic attraction? Isn't the key thing romantic attraction, otherwise it encompasses so many relationships that it's not really addressing the question as intended? If there is a distinction to be made, I don't think you need to repeat the double phrase] [i have used 'themselves' in a way that isn't strictly correct, but replacing it with himself or herself is clumsy and isn't consistent with the all-inclusive idea of covering all genders/sexes etc]

Why does asexuality matter?

Sexuality is such an important aspect of our culture that people who don't relate to it can feel alienated or inadequate. Because asexuals are a small minority, if society does not talk about asexuality, they may feel they are alone. They, or their friends and family, may believe they should be 'fixed' by a therapist or doctor. Recognition of asexuality helps people who don't experience sexual attraction feel comfortable with themselves and enables them to be open and honest without fear of stigmatisation or misunderstanding.

[i've suggested this as a riposte to the people who say "if you don't want sex, don't have it and don't make a big deal out of it". It does partly repeat the first paragraph so if people don't like it or it makes the word count too high, don't add it.]

Asexuality is NOT:

- celibacy

- androgyny

- sexual repression or aversion

- sexual dysfunction

- loss of libido due to age or circumstance

- fear of intimacy

- the inability to find a partner

[I added that because several people I've spoken to have associated asexuality with not feeling sexual due to menopause or depression/stress/having young children etc. If someone can think of a better word than 'circumstance', that would be good!]

Asexual people ARE MAY: [some don't fall in love, experience arousal etc, have changed syntax below to make consistent with that]

- want in need of friendship and support understanding just like everybody else

- able to fall in love with other asexuals or sexual people

- experience capable of arousal and orgasm

- be of any age, gender or background of all ages, genders, and backgrounds

- straight, gay, lesbian, bi, or... not [no need to have this if have 'fall in love' and it could be confusing for people who don't read the bit about this above]

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I think it's really good. I would distribute it. And I like echidna's changes-- makes it even more inclusive, which is always good.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Agreed, looks great! Anyone want to take a shot at layout? (It seems like we wanted to go for something simpler and more text-heavy.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I thin the layout is an issue as no-one has come foward to do that yet.

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Er.... Maybe I can work on layout with a friend of mine. I think we still need to finalize the text though? I'll look over it... I haven't posted any comments yet. :oops:

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  • 2 weeks later...

I could probably do the layout, if no one else can easily do it...

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Thanks Coleslaw.

I have been racking my brains for possible graphics - something to break up the text a bit that looks good reproduced in colour or black&white and won't make people thing "why have they got pictures of that?".

My suggestion is some simple stylised daisies - circles surrounded by 5-8 petals. They could be coloured in some versions or black&white. They don't have any particular connotations as far as I know - I think of them as just cheerful and harmless! You could have some single ones, some in groups of 3 or 5 of mixed sizes, some dark petals + light centres and some vice versa etc. I was thinking of the different combinations as like the diversity of asexuals - some like to be on their own and some like to be with others of the opposite or same gender etc. However, that symbolism is totally unnecessary for it to still work as a pattern.

I envisaged a few such graphics, perhaps going across the folds of the inside of the leaflet, and the text flowing around them. At one point I thought of trying to make a circle out of AVEN in the centres but that might look stupid.

If people think that is a daft idea, I won't be offended! I just think we need something and I want to help try to get these leaflets finished before too much longer.

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Cole, that would be cool- I really don't have a lot of extra time right now. If you need help, let me/us know.

Also, I'm still not sure if the text was ever finalized? But fuck, I still haven't had much of a chance to go over it.

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I have very little time, as I am in the middle of midterm season, but really, I'd love to see these done. I can devote time to them, not this weekend, but next weekend, after I have taken my three midterms and handed in two research papers.

If someone could get to them sooner than that, by all means, you're welcome to it. Perhaps we can shoot to have the text as finalized as it will ever be by Friday of next week?

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  • 1 month later...

I am bumping this thread, as I have oodles of time to do this now, but we still need to comb over and finalize the text...

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I am bumping this thread, as I have oodles of time to do this now, but we still need to comb over and finalize the text...

Thanks for bumping. I've thought of co-opting the New Zealand pamphlet and just substituting "San Francisco" for NZ and distributing them locally. But of course, a more general one would be kickass too. What's stopping me is that I have no idea how to do layout. But if there's anything I can do to help-- I'm a good editor-- just let me know!

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Whoah! I didn't see this when you bumped it, for some reason. (stupid post flag bug...) :shock:

As a PT member, I have to say that, with echidna's edits, the pamphlet text looks great to me and I see no particular reason to make more.

As a person, though, I have to say that I'm not confident in my ability to catch things in pamphlets that need to be reworded, so I'd like at least one other PT member to come in and give their approval. *puts this in this week's Digest and looks around expectantly*

Once that's done, please do make a layout!

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A problem I am finding:

We want these pamphlets to be more text heavy than image heavy, but we lack the text needed to make the pamphlet look full. I don't mean to suggest that we need "filler text", but if anyone can think of anything at all you'd like to see addressed in this pamphlet, please post it up!

I was thinking a bulleted, summarizing list to go on the first side panel, of sorts. Anyone know what I am talking about?

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Would it make sense to use a smaller pamphlet size or a larger font size if you don't have any other text you want to include?

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Would it make sense to use a smaller pamphlet size or a larger font size if you don't have any other text you want to include?

Pamphlet size should stay standard so that everyone knows what to print it on, and if I make the text any larger, it's really just going to look like I want to fill up the pamphlet and ran out of things to say.

Iunno. It seems far to basic to me right now, for some reason, though I can't think of anything to add.

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If we need more text, I think it could be a good idea to have a paragraph about the scientific studies about asexuality (of course, in lay terms). I have them all (all 3! :roll: ) at home, so I would be happy to write this up tomorrow if there is an interest. I'm a little confused/distracted by the bold/italics/underlines in the draft we have, so I'd like to post it below in straight-up format. It's almost exactly as echidna wrote it, just edited a tiny bit for clarity. Would anyone be opposed to going from this for future edits? Also, my apologies for switching to the Americanised spellings.

Cover:

Not Everyone is Looking for Sex

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction

===================================

Simply put, asexual people have no desire for sex, and they are not driven to seek sexual partners. This pamphlet is designed to give a basic understanding of the asexual orientation. Whether you think you might be asexual or know you are not, we hope you this pamphlet gives you a better understanding of what asexuality means

Is asexuality the same as abstinence or celibacy?

No. Celibate people choose to abstain from sexual relationships, while asexual people do not feel compelled to form them. Asexuality is not a choice, it is a sexual orientation. An orientation describes how people feel, not what they do. Some asexuals may participate in sexual behavior for the pleasure of others

Can asexual people fall in love?

Yes.! Asexuals can experience romantic attraction without sexual attraction. Asexual people have the same range of emotional needs as everyone else, and vary widely in how they fulfill or express these needs. Some asexuals are happiest on their own or with a group of close friends, while others have a desire to date and seek long-term partners. In relationships with sexual people, they may choose to have sex.

What do asexual relationships look like?

Asexual relationships are based on elements that are also important for many sexual people: understanding, communication, emotional intimacy closeness, fun, excitement and trust all happen just as much in non-sexual relationships as in sexual ones. Physical intimacy may be very important, or it may be. Asexual people are given few expectations about the way their relationships will or should work, and often blur the lines between friendship and romance.

Can someone who is asexual also identify as straight, gay, lesbian, or bi? How does asexuality relate to other sexual and gender identities?

Many asexuals can be romantically, but not sexually, attracted to other people and may further identify as gay, lesbian, bi, or straight. Some asexuals who are not romantically attracted to anyone identify as aromantic. Male, female and transgender people can identify as asexual. Labels and categories do not define you, they describe you. Each word has a recognized definition, but it is for each individual to decide how to use these words to describe themselves. Ultimately, only you can decide if the asexual label accurately describes how you feel.

Why does asexuality matter?

Sexuality is such an important aspect of our culture that people who don't relate to it can feel alienated or inadequate. Because asexuals are a small minority, if society does not talk about asexuality, they may feel they are alone. They, or their friends and family, may believe they should be 'fixed' by a therapist or doctor. Recognition of asexuality helps people who don't experience sexual attraction feel comfortable with themselves and enables them to be open and honest without fear of stigmatization or misunderstanding.

Asexuality is NOT:

- celibacy

- androgyny

- sexual repression or aversion

- sexual dysfunction

- loss of libido due to age or circumstance

- fear of intimacy

- the inability to find a partner

Asexual people MAY:

- want friendship and understanding just like everybody else

- fall in love with other asexuals or sexual people

- experience arousal and orgasm

- be of any age, gender or background

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Great to see this is active again - thanks.

I'm wondering about the need for more text. I thought the idea was to make it a bit less text-heavy than the AANZ one. Is it possible to do a mock-up of the current text with the graphics (whatever they are!) so we can see whether it really does look empty rather than nicely uncluttered?

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Is it possible to do a mock-up of the current text with the graphics (whatever they are!) so we can see whether it really does look empty rather than nicely uncluttered?

We have no graphics that I know of, but I'll get on that mark up as soon as I can.

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