Asexuality and men..mmm...really?

[Pentachromacy]

No it wouldn't be so "unusual" if the view of people wasn't so segregated.

[chatha]

a patriarchal attempt to control women.

Talking about sexism... sexism goes both ways, unfortunately. We MUST remedy this. Look at all the commercials where a woman is hitting a man (V8) and insulting a man's maturity or his intelligence. This would NOT happen in the reverse. Women file for 80 percent of divorces in America and men pay for them. And many, many divorces are simply for the silly excuse of "irreconcilible differences." Women are not controlled in America. That's a load of BS. And I'm all about correcting that myth.

Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control.

Wanna see what control of women looks like, feels like? Go live *under the Taliban.

*[EDITED BY GADSDENDUDE TO BE LESS BIGOTED TOWARD MUSLIMS IN GENERAL. Oops. Sorry.]

[Cynicus]

a patriarchal attempt to control women.

Talk about sexism... sexism goes both ways, unfortunately. We MUST remedy this. Look at all the commercials where a woman is hitting a man (V8) and insulting a man's maturity or his intelligence. This would NOT happen in the reverse. Women file for 80 percent of divorces in America and men pay for them. And many, many divorces are simply for the silly excuse of "irreconcilible differences." Women are not controlled in America. That's a load of BS. And I'm all about correcting that myth.

Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control.

Wanna see what control of women looks like, feels like? Go live in Muslim-istan.

Not every muslim land is supressing women, i know someone in Qatar where they're not realy all that much

for the more extremist interpretations of the Qu'ran.

[Guest Fosco]

Basically all I can see in this topic is that women are less sexual, so by default women are more 'asexual' than men. <_<

[chatha]

Basically all I can see in this topic is that women are less sexual, so by default women are more 'asexual' than men. <_<

I would, honestly, have to agree with that. ^_^

[chatha]

Not every muslim land is supressing women, i know someone in Qatar where they're not realy all that much

for the more extremist interpretations of the Qu'ran.

Please see my edited comment.

[Sally]

"Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control."

I don't know what that is intended to mean, but it makes me very uneasy reading it. Just WHAT is the reason? I'm hoping that Gadsdendude doesn't mean that he thinks that white men feel controlled by white women and therefore are driven to shooting people? Please tell me that's NOT the meaning!

[chatha]

"Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control."

I don't know what that is intended to mean, but it makes me very uneasy reading it. Just WHAT is the reason? I'm hoping that Gadsdendude doesn't mean that he thinks that white men feel controlled by white women and therefore are driven to shooting people? Please tell me that's NOT the meaning!

I don't know what the reason is. I've not had that compulsion to shoot a bunch of people. But there has to be a reason that it's mostly white men that do it. That's all that means. Maybe you oughta watch that 90s movie... what's his name Michael Douglas, about the uptight white guy who snaps one day... maybe that'll answer your question. Personally, haven't seen it and don't intend to. (Not a big M. Douglas fan.)

Yeah, those evil white women are sure drivin' 'em nuts... LOL! That's hysterical! :lol:

Told ya my avatar was appropriate, didn't I... LOL

[AVENCakes]

Basically all I can see in this topic is that women are less sexual, so by default women are more 'asexual' than men. <_<

I would, honestly, have to agree with that. ^_^

The idiots who started witch burning wouldn't. Know a few feminists who wouldn't, either. Women aren't less sexual- they're less allowed to be sexual by current society. Heck, women have an organ dedicated to sex and pleasure, and another to reproduction. Men's are a multi-purpose tool. If you went just by that- you'd think women were programmed to be more sexual. Why else put in a whole extra part when clearly you can just combine it with another? (yes, I realize that it's because female do the actual carrying-of-babies and men can just cum and go as they please.)

Women can want it just as much as men can, but they're dubbed "sluts", "whores", and a whole host of derogatory terms if they act on it. I know someone else pointed it out, but I think they got ignored.

[chatha]

Women can want it just as much as men can, but they're dubbed "sluts", "whores", and a whole host of derogatory terms if they act on it. I know someone else pointed it out, but I think they got ignored.

I think both are true. Men do have a stronger drive (drive does not equal sense of pleasure). And so if a woman seems to have as strong a drive as a man, she does get labeled negatively. I make no moral judgment here, just trying to state what I see as being facts without trying to justify them.

[A-listed]

In Greek mythology, the question of who enjoyed sex more was put to Teiresias, who had had the distinction of living part of his life as a man and part as a woman. Here was his reply:

If the parts of love's pleasure

Be counted as ten,

Thrice three go to women,

One only to men.

[AVENCakes]

Women can want it just as much as men can, but they're dubbed "sluts", "whores", and a whole host of derogatory terms if they act on it. I know someone else pointed it out, but I think they got ignored.

I think both are true. Men do have a stronger drive (drive does not equal sense of pleasure). And so if a woman seems to have as strong a drive as a man, she does get labeled negatively. I make no moral judgment here, just trying to state what I see as being facts without trying to justify them.

Which is why most women will suppress their drive. That was my point. If a woman has the same sex drive as a man, acts on it, she'll be more likely to get called a slut than he will unless he has a relatively low sex drive. So only women that don't mind the labeling will choose to act on it, which isn't most people. You can't say that men automatically have a stronger drive. You can only say that men are, socially, SUPPOSED to have a stronger drive. So men are supposed to act as if they have a stronger drive, women are supposed to act as if they have less of one.

You'd have to be able to measuer sex drive when there are no social consequences for a high/low drive to really say which is automatically "more sexual".

In Greek mythology, the question of who enjoyed sex more was put to Teiresias, who had had the distinction of living part of his life as a man and part as a woman. Here was his reply:

If the parts of love's pleasure

Be counted as ten,

Thrice three go to women,

One only to men.

Ok. 6 to women. 1 to men. WTF does that mean? And where are the other 3 parts going?

[KAGU143]

Thrice three = 9. Once, twice, thrice ... etc.

(Not that I necessarily believe it, but that's what he is saying.)

[AVENCakes]

Thrice three = 9. Once, twice, thrice ... etc.

(Not that I necessarily believe it, but that's what he is saying.)

Ah read it twice, not thrice. Sex-induced-mild-dyslexia, that's what I'm blaming. Happens in my head, too. I'll be thinking and get the complete wrong word ending a sentence. :/

But what is it saying?! Girls are more sexual? They get off more? What?

[A-listed]

Hera and Zeus got into an argument in which Hera claimed that men got more pleasure out of sex and Zeus claimed that women did. Teiresias, having been male and female at different times of his life, was brought in to adjudicate. The words above mean that women derive far more enjoyment from sex than men do.

Hera was pissed off over this revelation, which gave away the secret that women had always managed to keep from men, and struck Teiresias blind on the spot. Zeus gave Teiresias the gift of prophecy as compensation.

[Sally]

This is one hell of a strange discussion for asexuals to be having. I wouldn't have the slightest idea as to who enjoys sex more, men or women, since I've never enjoyed it, and I would guess most people on this forum haven't either. All we've got is mythology, second-hand reports, and genderist history. Sex to me just comes down to ICK/YAWN.

[chatha]

This is one hell of a strange discussion for asexuals to be having. I wouldn't have the slightest idea as to who enjoys sex more, men or women, since I've never enjoyed it, and I would guess most people on this forum haven't either. All we've got is mythology, second-hand reports, and genderist history. Sex to me just comes down to ICK/YAWN.

I whole-heartedlly agree.

But, I find Greek mythology to be quite entertaining. Kind of like a catty sci-fi soap opera or something.

(By way of explanation in my post, "drive" = the obsessive-compulsive, animally instinctual, semicognicent, questionably controllable biological urge to have sex [regardless of any level of pleasure or pain or emotion involved].

(Like my new words I made up? animally, semicognicent... hehe)

Btw, why is it so many people automatically assume the worst possible meaning, even without asking, instead of considering the best possible meaning of what someone says? That really puzzles me why people can't just give others the benefit of the doubt. (Yeah, yeah, off-topic, I know.)

Cake anyone? :aven:

[AVENCakes]

Btw, why is it so many people automatically assume the worst possible meaning, even without asking, instead of considering the best possible meaning of what someone says? That really puzzles me why people can't just give others the benefit of the doubt. (Yeah, yeah, off-topic, I know.)

Well, it's easier to respond when you're a bit more specific about what you're refering to here. Unless it's almost completely off-topic.

[Raker]

Hiya Lux.

In reply to your original post;

I'm a male and I have no interest in sex so you'll just have to accept that fact.

It almost sounds like you think that male asexuality is a con in some way or that you feel secretly disappointed with asexual men as not being manly enough.

I can't imagine your average bloke ever finding a niche site like this, even if he wanted to pretend for whatever bizarre reason that he was devoid of a sex drive.....

I've recently discovered that the name for what I am is asexual but I can assure you that I've always felt this way and at 46 I guess that's the way I'll stay.

Fancy a nibble?

That's a joke, by the way; I know humour and the internet can be mutually exclusive at times ^_^

[Amcan]

Hiya Lux.

In reply to your original post;

I'm a male and I have no interest in sex so you'll just have to accept that fact.

It almost sounds like you think that male asexuality is a con in some way or that you feel secretly disappointed with asexual men as not being manly enough.

I can't imagine your average bloke ever finding a niche site like this, even if he wanted to pretend for whatever bizarre reason that he was devoid of a sex drive.....

I've recently discovered that the name for what I am is asexual but I can assure you that I've always felt this way and at 46 I guess that's the way I'll stay.

Fancy a nibble?

That's a joke, by the way; I know humour and the internet can be mutually exclusive at times ^_^

In case that one gets deleted..

[cadmiumblimp]

I mean,men are more sexual than women,because of their phisical constitution,mentality,and biology,men,generally think more in sex than women,they masturbate more,and when they see atractive women,they think.....in bed..

This is total bullshit. Women are just as sexual as men -- that is, the amount of sexuality that a person "has" isn't determined by whether they are male or female.

[Guest Fosco]

Surely women and men are equally as sexual as each other. I personally don't see the human race dying out anytime soon, and you would expect too if the female was less sexual than the man, or vice-versa.

Where did 6 billion people come from if the above statement isn't correct?

[Sally]

Just because women have children (i.e., reproduce) doesn't mean they were particularly interested in having sex/being sexual. For all of recorded history, women have been expected to have get married/paired off, and when they do, they're expected to give their men children. Has nothing to do with their individual desire, or lack thereof. Plenty of us asexual women have been married and had children.

So...number of people in the world says nothing about women and sex.

[cadmiumblimp]

It's still pretty bullshit to say that women in general are less sexual than men.

[Guest Fosco]

It's still pretty bullshit to say that women in general are less sexual than men.

Well that pretty well much sums up in a nut shell, what I'm trying to say.

It's complete BULLSHIT!

[bbctv]

being male and asexual, even though typically it SEEMS to me that at least half of all males i run into think about nothing but sex, i sometimes wonder if it isn't some sort of conditioning- sort of a 'if you don't think about sex as much as the next guy and talk about it as much everyone will think there's something wrong with you.'

of course, i have to admit some bias against men in general, since BEING one i get to hear all sorts of things guys say about women and sex when women aren't around and plenty of supposedly "normal" guys seem downright pathological to me. but there may be issues there that give me a hair-trigger temper over stuff like that. Shere Hite did some studies on sexuality in the 1980s, and honestly, the responses in the study on male sexuality were pretty disturbing.

at the same time, i'd almost argue that most of this behavior is learned, or taught. i know of many instances of say, fathers having adolescent sons watch pornography as a sort of 'sex education.'

[PollyB]

I find it intriguing that this thread keeps resurrecting after some of the strange places it has wandered (if you don't know what I mean try reading the whole of it!).

I don't think lux the original poster is around any more - she used to talk a lot about feeling isolated living in a particular part of Europe - but was just expressing an opinion, which I don't share either, about how men and women are differently socialised around sex. (I think we are, just not to the extent lux describes, and I don't think any of it is "genetic" or inevitable.)

As to some of the other stuff:

• I also don't understand, and probably don't want to understand, what GadsdenDude means.
  
• The story of Teiresias is about differences in experiencing sexual pleasure between a man's and a woman's body, not about attraction - interesting, and some people on Aven have experienced sexual pleasure, albeit in only one body at a time - but not really relevant.
  
• I also have known survivors of sexual abuse by women who weren't directly controlled by men, although they do seem to be far fewer, but I've already said that - in this thread but many months ago! (particularly a little girl abused by a woman, but there are many types of sexual abuse). And yes, rape and sexual abuse are about power and control - just sometimes the power is that in an unhealthy encounter between an adult and a child.
  
• I love this side discussion by BarontheCat and others:
  "When a woman says something that seems counterintuitive, it's because we lack understanding. We're too dumb to know why we're wrong, whereas a man is assumed to be smart enough to have a better idea. I've had the same reaction when talking about mathematics much less sex. I am assumed to lack basic understanding, while they are assumed to have deeper understanding. (This assumption continues even after I've been proven correct.)"
  

[thylacine]

"Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control."

Perhaps you are referring to Mark Lepine, who went into a college classroom, and ordered all the men out of the room, and then proceeded to shoot all the females. After that massacre, it was discovered he had a list of famous women he wanted to kill...

This story reminds me of an acquaintance of mine, who claimed that all the wars all over the world were caused by women. I asked, how can you say that, when the leaders of the world are mostly men? Because, he said, sneaky, evil females are working behind the scenes, manipulating hapless men, to make all the problems in the world, including war.

Well, frankly, I am sick of women being on the receiving end for all the blame for all the problems in the world. Face it. Most world leaders are men. Most businesses are owned by men. There is no sneaky, evil coven of wicked females manipulating helpless male world leaders behind the scenes to cause all the wars and all the mass shootings, etc. If someone freaks out and shoots up a school, he did it on his own. I strongly doubt that a sneaky, evil female caused him to pull the trigger. Is a man a free individual, or is he not a free individual? If a man is a free individual, then no sneaky, evil female can cause him to pull the trigger by whispering sweet nothings into his ear... If men start wars, or do mass shootings, they do it of their own free will. Period.

And by the way, I work for a law firm, and our female clients pay for their own divorces. Men file for divorces, too.

[Guest Fosco]

"Ever noticed that these mass shootings are almost always committed by white men? There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with the need for more gun control."

Perhaps you are referring to Mark Lepine, who went into a college classroom, and ordered all the men out of the room, and then proceeded to shoot all the females. After that massacre, it was discovered he had a list of famous women he wanted to kill...

This story reminds me of an acquaintance of mine, who claimed that all the wars all over the world were caused by women. I asked, how can you say that, when the leaders of the world are mostly men? Because, he said, sneaky, evil females are working behind the scenes, manipulating hapless men, to make all the problems in the world, including war.

Well, frankly, I am sick of women being on the receiving end for all the blame for all the problems in the world. Face it. Most world leaders are men. Most businesses are owned by men. There is no sneaky, evil coven of wicked females manipulating helpless male world leaders behind the scenes to cause all the wars and all the mass shootings, etc. If someone freaks out and shoots up a school, he did it on his own. I strongly doubt that a sneaky, evil female caused him to pull the trigger. Is a man a free individual, or is he not a free individual? If a man is a free individual, then no sneaky, evil female can cause him to pull the trigger by whispering sweet nothings into his ear... If men start wars, or do mass shootings, they do it of their own free will. Period.

And by the way, I work for a law firm, and our female clients pay for their own divorces. Men file for divorces, too.

Well the most obvious argument against your statement would be Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, or any other of Henry VIII others wives. Anne fought for 6 years to marry Henry and even made him create a new church, The Church of England, he made him defy the Pope. That we is fact!

Yes I agree, with you on the most part, that men are the main starters of War, but women have been known to lend a seriously helping hand!

I think men and women are equal and thus should be treated as such. Both have done some pretty cruel stuff and both have done some amazing stuff. But this post seems to be always painting women as sexless angels who do no wrong, while men are painted as savage murderous sex addicts who will have sex with anything and everything, and that just isn't the case.

[Sally]

Sorry, Fosco, your facts are wrong. I've been especially interested in Tudor history all my life and Henry VIII wasn't forced by anyone--certainly no females--to do anything. There have been female despots, also -- several Russian empresses are good examples. But no fair using personal assertions rather than historical fact to prove a point.

And I agree with Thylacine; I also worked in law offices, including family law (i.e., divorces/custody) and went through a divorce myself. The days when women "took" men are over, if they ever existed. I raised two children by myself when child support was not enforced by law and therefore I didn't always get it. I still take care of a disabled daughter who is ignored by her father. If he'd ever been interested in shared custody, I certainly would have agreed.

The topic of whether men or women are more "sexual" than the other gender is one that can't be settled because we can't possibly get data to support our emotionally-basedpositions. But historical data, and statistical data on the financial outcomes of divorce and other such stuff CAN be settled. Anyone can have a personal bias, but that doesn't prove anything.