mackat5 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I had a friend of mine tape the show for me. I am using that tape as a teaching tool. I gave the copy to my pastor today at church. He is already open to other orientations, as he does accept Gays/Lesbians. He is interested in watching it, and maybe will share the info with others. Maybe! Link to post Share on other sites
Ian Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Very good news, Mac! We definitely need more pastors (and rabbis, etc) like that! Link to post Share on other sites
SpirallingSnowy Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 * jumps up and down* oh i really want to see it!!! Im so glad that we have the technology we do cos ive been able to watch the stuff since i came on here because of everyones efforts in recording it! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 :) Sorry about the delay, folks. We had some issues with the technology but - finally - here it is: Montel Show (40 minutes, edited) Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Yay! :) Fanks. Link to post Share on other sites
deladangerous Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Everybody did such a great job. They couldn't have chosen much better people to represent, methinks. *applause, applause* Link to post Share on other sites
Hu Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Thaaaank you Liver. I've added it to the In The Media page. Link to post Share on other sites
Cacille Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Watching now. It's great so far, it has me in tears of laughter at some of Montel's antics. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I'm watching too. No, he really has trouble with it. Kind of funny, that's true. Dr. Davidson is hysterical. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 The poor woman's frightened. Too bad. Link to post Share on other sites
yam Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 While I'm not done viewing the Montel Show, those of you who were on it were very eloquent. Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Just watching it now...so I will probably pause to make a few comments. AVENGuy, I liked what you said about the line between friendships and dating being blurred. It kind of brings to mind my theory on kissing. It is so hard for sexuals to understand the fuzzy boundaries of asexual relationships, because sexuals have a very solid milestones for when a friendship becomes definitely "more than friendship", and they become completely dependent on those sexual defining lines in determining the health and progress of their relationships. Kissing being one of them. In the past I have gotten that fuzzy feeling about kissing and I thought I liked kissing, and now I realize that the reason I liked kissing was not because of the action or because of any sexual feelings it might have inspired. I liked kissing because it defined the relationship. I really feel that asexuals can have committed relationships. Asexuals can even "cheat" within relationships. But our lines and boundaries are defined differently than the lines and boundaries of sexual relationships because sexual boundaries are all in terms of concrete sexual behavior, whereas we are totally dependent on affection, emotion, and intellect, three very fuzzy areas. Who was that lady that stood up and said she would be willing to try an asexual relationship? I wonder who she was...if she came to AVEN...if she was asexual or just a very understanding sexual? Did any of you get to talk to her? I think you all dealt with Dr. Joyless very well....They showed some of your faces while she was talking and I laughed out loud because I could practically read your minds "This ignorant narrow minded @%%$# has no clue what she is talking about..." And I totally agree. I think I know MORE about asexuality, MORE about possible causes of it, MORE about possible medical associations, than I would ever have learned without AVEN. Wow I could go on but I won't because it has all been said. Good job everybody. Winter I think you should have a fan club because you are just too cool. And Nancy and C.J. I totally know what you all are talking about as I myself am an asexual who has had sex in a misguided attempt to find intimacy. You are all great. Link to post Share on other sites
yam Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Here's my other thought: Joy is a doctor in the academic and not medical sense. Her doctorate is in clinical psychology. A lot of what she purports falls into medical categories and not the science of the psyche. She talks a lot about medical conditions but outside of disease of the psyche she has not received formal academic training. For the most part, her job is psychotherapy, helping those with disorders, problems of the psyche. If she were to admit that asexuality was not a disordered psyche she potentially turns away business. In future shows with Joy it would be interesting if the argument could be placed on her qualifications to make judgments about our overall health as opposed to the health of the psyche. I'm also interested in what qualifies an article to be researched enough. Psychology, like most of the social sciences, doesn't rely purely on quantitative research. In fact, the pendulum seems to be swung in the direction of qualitative research at the moment. Additionally, if there are no studies to date on asexuality it is impossible for us to post these studies on our website. Grr. I swear when I get my doctorate in 3 years (even further unrelated to the study of sexuality/asexuality) I'm going to write a 'researched' article so we can place it on our website. Link to post Share on other sites
Hallucigenia Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Additionally, if there are no studies to date on asexuality it is impossible for us to post these studies on our website. Grr. I swear when I get my doctorate in 3 years (even further unrelated to the study of sexuality/asexuality) I'm going to write a 'researched' article so we can place it on our website. *points to Canada's own Tony Bogaert* http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?t...g_to_asexuality Yes, the research pickings are slim right now, but they're pickings nonetheless. Anyone who says there's no "scientific" basis for asexuality doesn't have the whole story. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Thank you! Ooooh yay! That was awesome! Good job everyone who was involved ^_^ Montel got a bit annoying after a while. It was kind of funny, though. And I was thinking the same thing as yam and Hallu. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam B.I. Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Guys, I can't watch it! It seems to download fine but it cuts out at 4:04 every time. And it refuses to go beyond that. Does anyone know what to do about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 It is so hard for sexuals to understand the fuzzy boundaries of asexual relationships, because sexuals have a very solid milestones for when a friendship becomes definitely "more than friendship", and they become completely dependent on those sexual defining lines in determining the health and progress of their relationships. Kissing being one of them. I used to think i could clearly define the dividing line between "close friendship" and "something else" in an asexual relationship - but then I stepped over where I thought that line would be with a friend. It kind of makes me wonder though - what else would I do with someone I was in a relationship with that I'm not currently doing. Link to post Share on other sites
winter Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 thanks for the kind words, all. i've uploaded the video onto our myspace, so if you can't view it here, come over to the myspace and see if that one works. Link to post Share on other sites
Pete78 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 My god... I watched that, and every single one of you did an excellent job! Winter's reference to a bell curve made perfect sense and had to resonate with any rational person. Most of all I felt, C.J.'s experiences definitely probably touched the most people. It's interesting that for almost every argument made by Montel - C.J's experience was a perfect counterpoint. Of course the best he could come up with was a juvenile "try a few more, one will rock your world." That said, (this may be pure evil) I don't think what Joy said was all THAT bad. I found Montel to be much more obnoxious and ridiculous. She may be a clown, but she may have worked, or been exposed to those who work with, many many people with problems with sex that have nothing to do with asexuality. Her bias is somewhat understandable. Not that this site could or should ever become a one stop shopping center for sexual (or lack of) sexual health, but I'm sure everyone agrees that more scientific research is a good thing. Lastly, when the audience was asked about which of them didn't think sex was important... it was so indicative of today's sex positive society. Of course no one said yes (except for the one). 50 years ago, if a host asked an audience if they were homosexual, would anyone raise their hand??? Today, not being sexually desirable, not wanting sex, not having sex is viewed as some sort of failing. Looking beyond asexuals, I wonder about the pressure faced by the much higher percentage of people who are sexual, aren't having that much sex, and hate themselves for it. They may very well hate themselves because of a percieved failing, rather than supposed unsatisfied drives. I mean really, can that many people NEED sex, and find it that GREAT, when so many people have it once a month or less???? Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Today, not being sexually desirable, not wanting sex, not having sex is viewed as some sort of failing. Looking beyond asexuals, I wonder about the pressure faced by the much higher percentage of people who are sexual, aren't having that much sex, and hate themselves for it. They may very well hate themselves because of a percieved failing, rather than supposed unsatisfied drives. I mean really, can that many people NEED sex, and find it that GREAT, when so many people have it once a month or less???? Yeah I totally agree. As far as finding someone who will rock my world.I don't even really know what that would entail...and that basic disconnect is the key. So I go back to the basics - we have no drive to do it. Whether we can or not, whether we would or not, even whether we might enjoy it from time to time, does not matter. We have no urge to actually engage in sex. Don't most sexuals KNOW they want it and strive towards it (within moral/social limitations, of course)? The point with us is that if you put us on a desert island, a whole bunch of male and female asexuals all together, we would probably figure out through instinct that we (some of us) like hugs and hand-holding and we might even have some wild cuddle orgies but the thought of inserting that into this would just never even cross our minds as something normal to do...even those sexuals who experience arousal, if not for societal conditioning would you even connect the arousal with the old bump and grind of sex? Or on our desert island would you just do your thing and get back to cuddling? Whereas if you put a bunch of sexuals on an island, who had never had any exposure to sex or sexuality and thus no predisposed behaviors towards it, at some point their drive would instinctually drive them, as one sexual once described to me, towards the idea that "I knew there was something between that woman's legs that I want to get into." Hope that makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Pete, I think there is alot of bad blood betwen us and Dr. Joy from the first showing of 20/20 where she said that calling yourself aseuxal was the same thing as calling yourself unadventourus and unwilling to try new things, as well as some other comments. She changed around from that right quickly, but I don't think most of us asexuals have forgot. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Okiedokie, I've spent the last 4 hours waiting for this to upload: Larger, Better Quality Version of Montel Available for Download - 600MB I hope someone wants it! :) Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Yes! Thanks, Liver, you just "rocked my world"! Haha! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Goonie Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 oo thanks for the link.. might have to watch it on campus Link to post Share on other sites
winter Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 i just have trouble taking her serious. i get a feeling of sour grapes from her i.e. her saying, "you didn't ask me!" Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 i just have trouble taking her serious. i get a feeling of sour grapes from her i.e. her saying, "you didn't ask me!" We didn't ask her because up until now she insisted we didn't exist, based on absolutely no research! I mean, there is nothing to suggest that we are not valid either, right? What research is she basing her opinion on? And just wondering, what data do we have that homosexuality is real? We still haven't found a homosexuality gene. All we have is enough people insisting that it is real that society has been forced to recognize it. It seems there is just as much empirical evidence for asexuality as there is for homosexuality (found in animals, humans identify with it...what else is there, really?). In fact, what evidence do we have that SEXUALITY is real? How do we know that sexual urges are not really some deep-seated need for emotional closeness, and that asexuals are not actually the well-adjusted and psychologically healthy ones who have no need for the artificial intimacy of sex? Okay I of course do not believe what I just said. But really, how many people have to feel something before the feeling is considered valid? If the majority of the world felt asexual would there be a different Dr. Joy chastising sexuals for not wanting a pill to make them "normal" (asexual)? I'd like to find out what her standard would be to accept asexuality, and apply that same standard to sexuality, and see if either one passes as valid. Not counting the majority thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Hu Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Most of all I felt, C.J.'s experiences definitely probably touched the most people. It's interesting that for almost every argument made by Montel - C.J's experience was a perfect counterpoint. I agree, CJ's presence was essential to this, and her delivery was awesome. Plus she looks great on TV. Link to post Share on other sites
M51 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Plus she looks great on TV. A downright asexy vixen, I tell ya. For real, you all looked good. The idea that asexuals just can't get sex because they are not attractive is ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
The Evil Cashew Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 ok. forgive me because aven is not getting along with my comp and i dont want to go through the threads. is c.j. cijay (i dont think so cuz i thought i saw apic of her before and i thougth she looked different) or who is it? *is curious* Keith: all i have to say is WOW! 20/20 to now. WOW WOW WOW. i wouldnt recognize you if i didn't know better! YOU LOOK AMAZING! *stops inflating his ego* awesome job guys and Liver i cannot thank you enough for uploading that! ~Cashew Link to post Share on other sites
Dargon Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Now that I have finally seen this, mad props to all of you who went on. You all did a damned good job. I will say I was expecting our dear friend Joy to be more adamantly opposed as she was on 20/20, and I did find the "I have asked you" quite hilarious. Again, you guys all rock. Link to post Share on other sites
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