Asexuality on 5 Live

[M51]

Wow, that sounds totally intimidating!! Such short notice, no real ability to prepare, and then you are in a studio with microphones and everything else...wow...I commend you, that took guts. I mean, talking about asexuality at all takes guts, but to do it under those conditions really took guts.

Again, I totally did not mean any criticism of you, I was just trying to see how we can make this easier and more effective. Not that you weren't effective but...argh...you know what I mean.

I had this idea that AVENguy or the Project Team could post a list of frequently asked, media-interview type questions and a brief, generic, example answer for each. Of course, each person would have to apply the "AVEN" answer to their own personal experience, but it might be helpful because not everyone is as eloquent and quick-thinking as AVENguy. So if I was going to do an interview, I could go to that page and sort of "study", and come up with eloquent answers to those types of questions beforehand.

I thought there was something like that, only geared for questions of people visiting AVEN, not so much questions that you might come across in an interview. But now the Welcome page links to an Overview which claims to link to a FAQ but then really links back to the Welcome. I don't know if this is a problem from our new host or what. But I still think a seperate "Frequently Asked Questions" specifically written for the people doing the answering would be helpful even if there already is a "FAQ" specifically written for people doing the asking. If that makes sense.

Anyone familiar with the military has probably heard of promotion and soldier/sailor/marine/airman of the month boards. In these boards, a bunch of NCOs ask the candidate a bunch of questions covering military knowledge and skills. Now, every soldier knows how to go to the position of attention. But when you are sitting in a board and someone asks you to describe the position of attention, it's like, well, heck, you just do it. But that is not a very good answer. So people have gathered books of questions typically asked during boards, and compiled nice, eloquent answers to each, and that way the soldier can study the well-stated answers and sound good in the board. I am suggesting something like that. Every asexual knows what it is like to be asexual. Every asexual knows most of the answers any interviewer will ever ask. But knowing what you know and knowing how to describe what you know are two completely different proposals! You could say the regulations and field manuals from which the information is taken are like the current asexual FAQ - it describes a lot of stuff and answers a lot of questions, but there is so much stuff and not necessarily organized according to the questions that are usually asked. But the study guide puts all this info into easy to read and remember, Q&A style format that is much easier to use when getting ready for a board.

Anyway, TheSMMG, would such a "study guide" have helped you, or at least given you more confidence?

[Hallucigenia]

I thought there was something like that, only geared for questions of people visiting AVEN, not so much questions that you might come across in an interview. But now the Welcome page links to an Overview which claims to link to a FAQ but then really links back to the Welcome. I don't know if this is a problem from our new host or what.

I don't know either... static content's not my jurisdiction (except the AVENues section).

However, we've been talking about moving our FAQs to the Wiki format, so you might want to look at these... http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=FAQs

Your idea of having the most frequently-asked questions in media is a good one, though...

[M51]

I found it by actually searching for "FAQ". But like I had thought, the questions and answered were geared towards someone who thinks s/he might be asexual. Which is great, that is exactly the questions people ask when they come here. And we are here to help people figure those things out. But a newscaster is not likely to ask you "If I don't feel attracted to people until after I get to know them, does that make me asexual?"

Here's the FAQ:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/index.php?o...0&Itemid=31

Also a lot of the answers are very detailed, which is good for a FAQ, but bad for an interview because people's attention spans are short.

I have an idea. What if we start a thread and ask anyone who has done media interviews to contribute questions and experience, things that got them caught, etc. Then whenever I get some time or need a break, I will do my best to organize and prepare short answers, which I will of course submit to AVEN in general for approval. I can start by re-watching the videos we have posted and try to sort of summarize the questions that were asked during those interviews.

If I can I will put other hints on my project, like how to speak clearly, the different types of questions and how to answer them, etc.

Do you think this would be enough benefit to justify the work? If so I will make a little project out of it. I have a sudden recent interest in media relations so I might be a good person to pursue this. Only problem is, with my schedule I can make no guarantees on when it will be done.

[AVENguy]

We already have something like this, the AVEN Media Guidebook. I'll e-mail it to you (would love your suggestions.) I didn't post it online just because I didn't want it to be publicly visible, but it might not be a bad addition to the wiki (I don't think we lose anything by making our media strategies public, if the worst coming after us is Joy Davidson.) I'll e-mail it to you in the meantime.

[spinneret]

That sounds mortifying, SMMG! It didn't sound like the host had spoken to you before, but I imagined they gave you some kind of preparation (or even just time to prepare!!)

I wouldn't have been able to string a sentence together if I were put on the spot like that. WELL done.

[M51]

Thanks AVENguy!!

I don't know that it has to be publicly visible, but I didn't even know it existed...Maybe in the Visibility forum sticky a topic that lets us know you have it, and will email it to anyone who thinks they might do an interview of some sort?

[TheSMMG]

Anyway, TheSMMG, would such a "study guide" have helped you, or at least given you more confidence?

It would, indeed.

Putting sometimes complex thoughts and concepts into clear and concise responses is (for me) difficult and time consuming.

The AVEN Media Guidebook contains common sense and helpful advice which I found useful.

I also had the great honour to speak to AVENguy himself before my Channel 5 TV appearance and his helpful advice and encouragement were much appreciated.

Your suggested project sounds like a good idea.

Thanks spinneret!

[Emma_]

The interview did seem a little dry but for the same reason that a lot of interviews about asexuality seem dry - the sexual host just could not grasp asexuality... (...) ....In other words, they are constantly trying to put our asexuality into sexual terms rather than allowing asexuality to be something that just is.

Apologies for the long quote, but it got me thinking. I don't know what's in the media guidelines pack since I'm not a member of the media team (have good reasons for this), but I was thinking of something to add if it isn't already there. An interview leaflet for the person interviewing the asexual?

This could obviously cover the basics of what asexuality is, and all the other gubbins we know and love, and then go on to have sample questions that they may not have thought of, and to (politely) advise them that asking questions like

"Is something wrong with you?"

"What do you mean you don't want to have sex?"

"But most people want sex, why don't you?"

"Wanting sex is normal, right?"

"Have you ever had sex?"

"Do you masturbate?"

"Who do you fantasize about when you masturbate"

"Have you been to a doctor about this? Maybe you could be fixed!"

is just a tad repetitive.

[Placebo]

. . . and to (politely) advise them that asking questions like

"Is something wrong with you?"

"What do you mean you don't want to have sex?"

"But most people want sex, why don't you?"

"Wanting sex is normal, right?"

"Have you ever had sex?"

"Do you masturbate?"

"Who do you fantasize about when you masturbate"

"Have you been to a doctor about this? Maybe you could be fixed!"is just a tad repetitive.

Sure it's repetitive; but we can't assume that everyone that's listening to any of these shows knows the answers to these questions. So unless the announcer wants to give some background before the lucky asexual starts answering questions, these will probably still need to be answered again. . .. and again. . . .and again. . . at every public thing that's done for a while.

[Wineblood]

I...can't find the interview...

Same.

[PollyB]

It might not be there any more - I did find it, but I suspect they only keep standard BBC radio programmes up for a week, until the next week's crop comes along.

Emma, I think we can supply journalists with advance information and help their research, and maybe indicate specific things one of us doesn't want to talk about in a specific interview. However I don't think supplying a whole list of questions they aren't to ask would work. To some extent working with the media is always a balancing act between their perspective on how to do their job, and their sense of what people want to hear, and our sense of what we want to say.

[TheSMMG]

It might not be there any more - I did find it, but I suspect they only keep standard BBC radio programmes up for a week, until the next week's crop comes along.

This is, indeed, what they do - hence the trouble some are having with finding it...