Middle J Posted November 28, 2002 Share Posted November 28, 2002 Hi, It is good news that there are many women out there that don't have to have sex to have a great relationship. I have only had one real girlfriend three years ago. For religious reasons we did not engage in sex. That was definately one of my reasons, but actually I don't feel the desire for sex anyway...PERIOD. I wish I did so that I could "fit in" and be ready if the time arrives (marriage). I'm afraid that if I get into a relationship and get married, I will not be able to perform and that is probably because I am asexual. I am not aroused by looking at women and certainly not men. I'm 27 and the older I get the more I feel the pressure to get into a relationship. When I see my friends who are all married except one, I feel sad and lonely wishing the same for myself. It has been difficult to be in relationships because I don't feel attraction. I love girls, but emotionally and for companionship. Now, here's a BIG problem.... Even though I don't have a desire for men in terms of attraction or sexually, I do fetish male feet. I don't understand it at all. Why would I like women, but fetish a body part of the same sex. ok, there you have it, I've spilled the beans. Link to post Share on other sites
Middle J Posted November 28, 2002 Author Share Posted November 28, 2002 Let me add that I am actually very happy being by myself except for when I see those around me. We live in a society that if you are straight and not in a relationship for too long of a time you are considered gay. That's stupid! People leave out the fact that you are not in ANY relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted November 28, 2002 Share Posted November 28, 2002 Hi, Middle J, and welcome to the community! I think that you will find many, many people here, both female and male, who share your feelings. I encourage you to read as much as you can, and speak up whenever you like it...we're a fun bunch! :D In the forums, you will find everything from a place to artistically express your feelings to a "Question And Answer" area to a "Club" where asexuals who are looking for romance without sex can go to meet and mingle. I hope you enjoy the site! Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Middle J Posted November 28, 2002 Author Share Posted November 28, 2002 Maybe I've found the right place. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted November 28, 2002 Share Posted November 28, 2002 Welcome amigo. Pull up a chair, get a drink, and chat awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted December 28, 2002 Share Posted December 28, 2002 Welcome Middle J! make yourself comfortable and post a lot! hehe :) Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Marr Posted January 3, 2003 Share Posted January 3, 2003 Welcome to sanity. Stay awhile. I'd like to add, don't worry about the fetish thing, the human brain seems to be wired with the innate ability to develop a sexual fetish about absolutely anything, irrespective of overall sexuality. Consider the range of alt.sex.fetish.* newsgroups for evidence of this, and note the number of inanimate objects. I believe this is necessary in sexual species to allow them to mutate usefully without losing the desire to procreate, and may be set up by ones sexual awakening at puberty, perhaps even an unremembered first wet dream. It is essentially random in today's complex, special-effects rich culture. Link to post Share on other sites
Middle J Posted January 20, 2003 Author Share Posted January 20, 2003 I feel better and I am glad this website is open and does not put labels on people. You let people figure out labels for themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Jen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Hi, Middle J, and welcome! I think you'll be able to sort things out in time after you've been hanging out here for awhile and reading the posts. And, like Luisa said, there's The Club for you to check out. Link to post Share on other sites
ViddyWell Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hiya Middle J, nice to meet ya. I'm new as well. I too have some gender confusion probs. And I don't think of sex as a vallad part of a relationship. Wow. Your post is the first I have read, and already I feel like there are other people with similar probs to me! I don't think your fetish is wrong. There are a lot worse things you could be attracted to. I think that our sexualities are something unique to each individual, some more unique than others... I wish I could give some helpful advice, but I am not really an expert at this either :P I hope you find what it is that will make you happy, and just don't force yourself to be something your not because of all the pressures. Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I think that Vivre hit the nail on the head: Live so that it makes ~you~ happy (and doesn't harm anyone else.) Forget about making society, or any other people happy. It's you who is the captain of your ship, so steer the ship to places that you want to go. :) Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hmmm *is flattered* but... did I say that? I think maybe Viddy said that. similar names! lol! :) Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Luisa Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Hey, you've seen ONE asexual, you've seen 'em all! ;) ;) ;) Sorry, Viddy. I revoke Vivre's credit and give it to you. Vivre, I'll give you somebody else's credit in the future... :D Link to post Share on other sites
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