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Ooooooo, lookie lookie??? (Voyeurism and Asexuality)


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#1 bard of aven

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Posted 17 November 2003 - 09:56 PM

In deference to my esteemed colleague from California, a definitiion:

Voyeur: one whose sexual desire is concentrated upon seeing sex organs and sexual acts (Merriam-Webster); A person whose sexual desires are stimulated or satisfied by covert observation of the sex organs or sexual activities of others (OED).


Are voyeurs who practice sex solely as a spectator sport, who neither experience the attraction to interact genitally with others nor interact genitally with others, and who may or may not interact genitally with themselves in the process, asexuals?

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#2 AVENguy

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Posted 17 November 2003 - 10:09 PM

Depends on how they identify. Based on my own personal brand of sexual math I would imagine not: if they exert effort trying to find sex to observe, and possibly redefine their relationships based on whome they are observing then they would probably percieve "sexuality" to be an important part of their identity.

#3 Cate Perfect

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Posted 19 November 2003 - 06:04 AM

This is really interesting, Bard. I definitely see how those could be related, though I see AVENGuy's point about considering sexuality to be a part of it. I personally find watching two women canoodling very attractive as long as it's not too very explicit, whereas I derive no joy (or repulsion) watching a man and a woman. I do think two men together are adorable, though, hence my addiction to Queer as Folk.
Seeing people together or reading about it doesn't bother me nor turn me on, though anything too graphic is definitely cringe-worthy. I like gentle affection in the whole.
So I suppose that would leave out the 'seeing sex organs' bit of it, as I don't care to see that part of the act, just simple affection.

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#4 JKReagan99

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 12:52 AM

I agree with Cate. I see how they could relate to asexuality, but still they are seeking out sex in a sense, so I'm not sure I would consider them asexual...

I personally find watching two women canoodling very attractive as long as it's not too very explicit, whereas I derive no joy (or repulsion) watching a man and a woman. I do think two men together are adorable

I'm just like that, though I think I find two men together a bit more attractive to me than two women (though seeing any same sex couple is great to me :D ), and I don't really have any strong feelings either way towards heterosexual couples, unless they become too graphic :?

#5 Bestatued Head

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 02:11 AM

I agree with Cate. I see how they could relate to asexuality, but still they are seeking out sex in a sense, so I'm not sure I would consider them asexual...

I personally find watching two women canoodling very attractive as long as it's not too very explicit, whereas I derive no joy (or repulsion) watching a man and a woman. I do think two men together are adorable

I'm just like that, though I think I find two men together a bit more attractive to me than two women (though seeing any same sex couple is great to me :D ), and I don't really have any strong feelings either way towards heterosexual couples, unless they become too graphic :?


Ah yes, I too am in accordance with Cate and Josh. I like to see people who have platonic interactions with one another, whether it be male/male, female/female, or even male/female. It's beautiful. But I don't like the idea of getting off on other peoples "pleasures". Egh.
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#6 Guest__*

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 02:13 AM

...?

#7 JKReagan99

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 09:41 PM

Just thinking a bit more on why I tend to feel better about seeing same sex couples, I think it's because they are breaking from what society views as acceptable, showing that viable relationships are possible between people no matter what their sex is, and on top of that heterosexual relationships are not uncommon nor are they invisable, so it's nice to get a break from only seeing that.

#8 Jayann

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 09:52 PM

Yeah, I agree with that. To me, there is nothing at all exciting or new about watching a guy and a girl be affectionate. Yawn-fest at best.

But same-sex couples are just sorta neat, really. There seems to be something very tender about it (if they're just being affectionate and cuddly, and not groping each other or drooling in one another's mouth--that's gross when anyone does it.)

It gives me the warm 'n fuzzies. :)

#9 bard of aven

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 10:34 PM

(screws on devil's advocate hat)

OK, but an asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. If a voyeur is strictly passive with regards to the objects of its vision, and feel no attraction to interact gentitally with them, then what? How is this different from a Type C who uses porn? Or is that person not an asexual either? It's the difference between stimulus and attraction. The voyeur or Type C is stimulated visually, but not attracted to do anything about it with another person. Is the line in the sand about to move, or was it somehwere else all along?

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#10 Jayann

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Posted 20 November 2003 - 10:48 PM

Well, if the voyeur experiences no sexual attraction to people, but still gets his/her private jollies through watching other folks, I would still call that asexual. Attraction, I think, is different from general stimulus in that attraction means you do want to engage in sexual intercourse with whomever you are attracted to.

Sexual reaction to certain stimuli, however, does not imply that a person is sexual. If the opportunity to sleep with the persons being watched presented itself, I think the voyeur's arousal would mostly or totally be gone. So, being sexually stimulated does not equal being sexually attracted, and therefore, voyeurs are not necessarily sexuals, and may in fact be asexual.

#11 Skiddaloxx

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Posted 21 November 2003 - 12:21 AM

Hmm, let's see...

A distance-sexual maybe? I do think those people are indeed sexual. Just in a similar way autosexuals are sexual. Could be that voyeurs are autosexuals at all, since it's about having sex with yourself (a voyeur who gets off on looking at an arousing scene) and about watching something (having fantasies in mind or observing reality).

I guess autosexuality contains different subjects:

1. Getting aroused of oneself (narcism).

2. Getting aroused by sexual fantasies.

3. Getting aroused by voyeurism.

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#12 Naxius

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Posted 21 November 2003 - 05:29 PM

is strictly passive with regards to the objects of its vision, and feel no attraction to interact gentitally with them, then what?


Then maybe he's a doctor :mrgreen:

Unfortunately, my former "Gorax" persona was eventually killed by reality.


#13 JKReagan99

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Posted 22 November 2003 - 03:28 AM

is strictly passive with regards to the objects of its vision, and feel no attraction to interact gentitally with them, then what?


Then maybe he's a doctor :mrgreen:

*lol* :lol:

#14 Cate Perfect

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Posted 22 November 2003 - 07:18 AM

I'm with you Josh, on perhaps liking watching same gendered couples because it's different from what you see everywhere else.

And yeah, when I say I like watching two boys/girls canoodle I mean in the most affectionate/innocent way, not X-rated. Then I start thinking things like, 'What does THAT taste like?' and 'Uh, germs', 'Hello, people can SEE you!' You know, stuff like that. I think even if I were sexual I wouldn't walk around smooching on people in public.

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#15 JKReagan99

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Posted 22 November 2003 - 02:21 PM

I think even if I were sexual I wouldn't walk around smooching on people in public.

I'm with you on that... and I know a number of sexual who feel that way too :P ... it's ok to, just don't do that where I can see :|

#16 Naxius

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Posted 04 December 2003 - 03:14 AM

I say that if people do such things in public, they should be aware of the consequences. Meaning if someone yells offensive things at them for the PDA, they have no right to complain.

Unfortunately, my former "Gorax" persona was eventually killed by reality.


#17 Ack42

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 05:39 AM

I wouldn't want to be a vourist to sex acts. Once I did look out my window and saw a man and women hugging and rubbing each other's back for a long time (between pauses to pet a puppy that came up). It looked like a goodbye hug that they didn't want to end. I watched it for a long time... :D
But to see sex...NO. I don't even care much for kissing scenes unless they are the (to me) nice little short closed-mouth type of kisses.
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#18 maila

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 07:22 AM

I honestly wouldnt want voyeurs to be put in the same category as me. .:?

#19 fluffy_hime

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 03:59 PM

Well hello, Mr Long Dead thread! Kinda sad really, seeing the names of people who no longer frequent.. :cry:

Are voyeurs who practice sex solely as a spectator sport, who neither experience the attraction to interact genitally with others nor interact genitally with others, and who may or may not interact genitally with themselves in the process, asexuals?


Maybe, even probably. An interesting note: voyeurism is considered to be something that needs treatment, since it violates other peoples' rights, like rape.

. . .possibly redefine their relationships based on whome they are observing then they would probably percieve "sexuality" to be an important part of their identity.


Sexuality, or the lack thereof, is an important part of YOUR identity - you're at the forefront of a (possibly) massive transformation in the way people consider orientation.
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#20 Silly Green Monkey

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 09:57 PM

In this page, Inane said ( almost a year ago ) that she's not attracted to women.

How things change...
Normal is just a stereotype.

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#21 dabishop

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Posted 17 October 2004 - 10:01 PM

Well hello, Mr Long Dead Thread!


Sounds like Right Said Fred's asexual cousin. "I'm too a-sexy for my car / Too a-sexy for my car / Too a-sexy by faaaaar...."

#22 fluffy_hime

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 02:17 AM

Geez SGM, that was kind of inappropriate.
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#23 Silly Green Monkey

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 02:21 AM

What? Why?
Normal is just a stereotype.

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#24 Bleacheddissent

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Posted 19 October 2004 - 05:04 AM

Whoa, I'm so glad someone discussed this.

I have this problem, actually. I perform on webcam.. for people, for free at the moment, merely because it makes them happy, rather than myself happy. Although really I don't masturbate without the cam on, so it becomes more of a non affectionate thing.

I don't interact with anyone sexually (in a cybersex way), I become what they want to see in a person for their happiness and don't talk back outside of the occasional lie to keep them interested in the scheme of things. I pose and act how they want because it's what they like to see and because I'm submissive it works for me.

I am a virgin still, and really don't get attracted to people much in person, so I've always had an odd time relating my camming activities to real life sexuality.

#25 A-Ole

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Posted 19 October 2004 - 06:32 AM

I derive no joy (or repulsion) watching a man and a woman. I do think two men together are adorable, though, hence my addiction to Queer as Folk.
Cate



Me tooooooooooooo!! :-)


I'm a hard-core voyeur, but nothing on Earth could induce me to have sex with anyone I'm looking at; more to the point, I feel no DESIRE for that sex. Everything about sexuality fascinates me... EXCEPT actually doing it.
What a relief to find other people like me!! :-)

#26 Guest_starling_*

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Posted 19 October 2004 - 08:16 AM

Well I like hard core X-rated sex happening 2 feet in front of me, and also the shimmering translucent butterflies in the Jak and Daxter video game series. It's fascinating seeing what lengths people will go through to get their genitals together, but it's also fascinating seeing what lengths they will go to ensure the election of their favorite candidate. It's interesting how the bits and bodies fit together so well, but it's also interesting how hands fit together perfectly in a handshake.

I don't see what people have such an aversion to when it comes to sex. It's just another act. An act I choose not to participate in, but an act nonethless. I don't make a habit of watching sex, peeping on people, or gathering porn, but I don't rule out something that pleases me just because it has sex in it.

The beginning of "The Matrix: Reloaded" caused a reaction in me of my face gently pressing into my palm, and perhaps a few eye rolls, but the reason was not because it was sex, but because it was gratuitous sex. I admittedly do respect that they went that far, and didn't leave Neo and Trinity as "kissing lovers" the way so many movies do in our society of oppressing sexuality. Frankly I'm more a Trinity/Morpheus fan. But my favorite scene in the movie was (take a wild guess) on the freeway. Now that was amazing; orgasms can't even compare.

#27 Squick

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Posted 01 November 2004 - 07:35 AM

I've been known to visit a voyeur site and enjoy the heck out of it, but it's not sex voyeurism (unless you pay for access), it's nudity or upskirt voyeurism.

I don't like watching het sex (or having it). At best, it's boring. At worst, it's squicky. Sometimes it's not bad if they don't indicate too much about the actual act, and there's good lighting. :)

Girl-girl sex is nice, I suppose. I've never watched any kind of porn or watched real people, so who knows. But some mild action is pretty nice.

I've got a pseudo-fetish for gay guys. I wouldn't like gay porn because I have no interest in seeing close-ups of genitals and fluids. But I'd like to be "involved" in a threesome. Just lying next to two guys, watching, doing something with them if I felt comfortable, although it'd probably be something minor. I'd probably just wank. :D I love pictures of guys kissing. I'm a member of an LJ community dedicated to that.

All of that could explain why some would say I'm a gay guy trapped in a girl's body, but I'm really not.

#28 Oz

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Posted 01 November 2004 - 08:32 AM

I'm a member of an LJ community dedicated to that.

What's that?

#29 Squick

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Posted 01 November 2004 - 08:37 AM

Wow, two requests in one day, LOL.

http://www.livejourn...ty/boyskissing/

#30 Oz

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Posted 01 November 2004 - 08:41 AM

:oops: I've lived a sheltered life :oops:




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