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romantic attraction? platonic ?


fluf

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hello , so I have been reading about how people view romantic attraction and things along those lines but to me even when. I watch movies etc I can only view those interactions as something like friendship I never process it as romantic so therefore I can't really understand what romantic attraction is let alone if I feel it so I'm very confused about this, and I was just wondering if anyone had any points of view on this because I know romantic attraction is different for everyone but I'm still a tad confused I think this makes some sense not sure

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I'm aromantic and I understand where you're coming from. I have a difficult time distinguishing the difference between romantic attraction and platonic attraction. For me, I get confused because both can involve a strong connection with another person. The only way I can seem to differentiate my platonic feelings is by comparing them to how romantic attraction is described by other people. But I've heard it described so many ways and I still can't really wrap my brain around it. Love is a really confusing topic, even for alloromantics who can't easily describe what they're feeling. Every time I asked they still kind of struggled to explain it to me. But, the most common way I've had it described to me is that it's a variety of feelings such as exhilaration and euphoria but also things like anxiety.

 

Sorry, I couldn't be more of a help. I'm just as lost on what it is as much as you are (and I've been identifying as aromantic for almost two years now).

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1 hour ago, Aromanatee said:

I'm aromantic and I understand where you're coming from. I have a difficult time distinguishing the difference between romantic attraction and platonic attraction. For me, I get confused because both can involve a strong connection with another person. The only way I can seem to differentiate my platonic feelings is by comparing them to how romantic attraction is described by other people. But I've heard it described so many ways and I still can't really wrap my brain around it. Love is a really confusing topic, even for alloromantics who can't easily describe what they're feeling. Every time I asked they still kind of struggled to explain it to me. But, the most common way I've had it described to me is that it's a variety of feelings such as exhilaration and euphoria but also things like anxiety.

 

Sorry, I couldn't be more of a help. I'm just as lost on what it is as much as you are (and I've been identifying as aromantic for almost two years now).

it’s ok! thanks for responding i’m glad someone else is in the same boat but yea that makes total sense i have tried to compare how other people say romantic attraction is but it’s hard because that’s how they view it so when i compare it i either just don’t understand or am like isn’t that just platonic in my mind it’s super confusing if that makes sense 

yea no it is really confusing and such a broad topic to think of sigh 

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Galactic Turtle

I think I'm vaguely quoting someone by saying that lovers are face to face, absorbed in each other whereas friendship is more of a side by side thing, absorbed in common interests whether that be an activity, a band, the universe, or dreams. The greater those common interests are, of course, the more it might be harder to distinguish from romance. On the other hand, that also explains why I've seen people fall for others who really aren't interested in the same things at all, they're just infatuated with the existence of that other person which is why when lots of breakups happen, there's really not enough there for friendship to feel not awkward or forced. 

 

Personally I feel closest to my friend when we create things. I was in a band with my friends in middle and high school. Currently I have a friend who is a fiction writer so sometimes we spend afternoons writing our own separate stories or bouncing ideas. Another friend group I had stayed up all night frequently playing Dungeons and Dragons, a tabletop game that's pretty much entirely dictated by each participant's imagination. Other than that, many of my friends are interested in the same K-pop groups as I am and with K-pop fandom comes a specific type of fan culture which binds us together differently than people outside of that culture.

 

My favorite K-pop group is a duo called TVXQ. They have worked together for almost 15 years now and they often talk about their friendship, the root of which overtime became their shared morals, passions, and dreams.

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