James121 Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 I just thought I would start a thread as this is quite an important point. There are few sexuals on this forum. Typically I would say that they are here because of a stuttering or non existent sex life with their spouse. They are bitter as a result of the sex life they once had disappearing in to thin air and they are seeking answers and solutions as to what happened. Asexuality is one of the possibilities. It’s probable that a degree of bitterness may be evident in our posts as a result. However when we disagree on something, or just don’t agree, it is no way acceptable to suggest or imply that a sexual person is like a rapist or a paedophile. Link to post Share on other sites
Mermaidy Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 I agree Link to post Share on other sites
Chibe90 Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 How have you come to the determination that many asexuals here are repressed sexuals? I read through the "sex is like..." thread and serran did not call you a rapist or paedophile, she simple asked you a number of questions about your interaction with your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Chibe90 said: How have you come to the determination that many asexuals here are repressed sexuals? I read through the "sex is like..." thread and serran did not call you a rapist or paedophile, she simple asked you a number of questions about your interaction with your kids. The inference is enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Chibe90 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 well maybe you should just seek an apology from @Serran if you felt she intended to insult you. I only at you Serran because the thread was clearly created because of something you posted elsewhere and I think you should have a chance to defend yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Making assumptions about someone's sex life in response to assuming that someone's calling you a rapist/paedophile is a rather childish thing to do. On the same level as the whole "your mum" comeback... Which died out years ago when I was about 13 I think. Not saying you're childish or immature, but your actions aren't doing you favours. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 9 minutes ago, James121 said: The inference is enough. The intention was to highlight how inaccurate your statement was, by showing you obviously would not be doing these things with your kids, cause it would be inappropriate. No one was calling you a pedophile. And I apologize if it came off that way to you. My entire point was based around the fact you aren't a pedophile so obviously you will notice how wrong it would be to have this type of relationship with just anyone, especially someone classified as "young". If you were a pedophile, or if I thought you were, then that argument would fall flat cause they wouldn't see anything wrong with the statement that they can have that sort of relationship with a "young" person. Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 It's been my experience in my time here that most of the bitter sexuals that show up post a ranty thread and then disappear. I think a lot of them are here to better understand and support their partner, and to help provide a sexual perspective to some of the conversations. I read the thread as well. I think you may be taking it a tiny bit personally. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 39 minutes ago, Chimeric said: It's been my experience in my time here that most of the bitter sexuals that show up post a ranty thread and then disappear. I think a lot of them are here to better understand and support their partner, and to help provide a sexual perspective to some of the conversations. I read the thread as well. I think you may be taking it a tiny bit personally. When I state that I kiss my children, I hug them, I share a bed with them (when the is a fatherly reason to do so) and the next answer speaks of paedophilia traits, of course I will get defensive. Serran has explained that this isn’t what she meant so that’s fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Alejandrogynous Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 22 minutes ago, James121 said: When I state that I kiss my children, I hug them, I share a bed with them (when the is a fatherly reason to do so) and the next answer speaks of paedophilia traits, of course I will get defensive. Serran has explained that this isn’t what she meant so that’s fine. Given that your first response to Serran was, "I thought that might happen!", I'm pretty sure you already had it in your head and were just waiting to jump on it without even attempting to see the point she was making. Nobody called you a pedophile nor even remotely implied it, you were defensive before she even posted. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said: Given that your first response to Serran was, "I thought that might happen!", I'm pretty sure you already had it in your head and were just waiting to jump on it without even attempting to see the point she was making. Nobody called you a pedophile nor even remotely implied it, you were defensive before she even posted. Wow. A mind reader. Erm nope sorry. It’s something that’s happened to me before and I saw it happen to someone else on here who was referred to as ‘having the mindset of a rapist’. But it wasn’t a bait trap. However, maybe you read my mind and knew that I was going to write this thread and took your chance to respond as you did. Or maybe mind readers are only fiction novels. Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 What is with this fascination of the rapist/paedophile topic? You've brought it up in the will asexuals be accepted by society thread as well. Quote It depends on whether you think that a sexual has the mind of a rapist or paedophile I would say. Link to post Share on other sites
Alejandrogynous Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 7 hours ago, James121 said: Wow. A mind reader. Erm nope sorry. It’s something that’s happened to me before and I saw it happen to someone else on here who was referred to as ‘having the mindset of a rapist’. But it wasn’t a bait trap. However, maybe you read my mind and knew that I was going to write this thread and took your chance to respond as you did. Or maybe mind readers are only fiction novels. My bad, I thought the part where I said 'given suchandsuch evidence, I'm pretty sure' implied that I was not a mind reader, only drawing conclusions based on your own words. You still seem (to me, as in, how I feel based on the literal words you say) to be awfully quick to jump on the defensive for something that was obviously not what you took from it. I see why you might though, since you 'thought this might happen'. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 This specific case, I think we can consider closed, as it was a misunderstanding. However, we can continue this discussion in general terms without referencing individuals, because there are people out there who say "you don't like men, you don't like women, you must be a paedophile then". I've had this happen to me before Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 21, 2018 Author Share Posted January 21, 2018 27 minutes ago, Alejandrogynous said: My bad, I thought the part where I said 'given suchandsuch evidence, I'm pretty sure' implied that I was not a mind reader, only drawing conclusions based on your own words. You still seem (to me, as in, how I feel based on the literal words you say) to be awfully quick to jump on the defensive for something that was obviously not what you took from it. I see why you might though, since you 'thought this might happen'. “Given that your first response to Serran was, "I thought that might happen!", I'm pretty sure you already had it in your head and were just waiting to jump on it” Enough said. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 There are lots of sexual people here , in good faith, trying to make sense out of asexuality. I agree with the sentiments that their sexual frustration might get the better of them at times and they may want to label asexuals in some way because of this, I don't think, however, that the implication or outright accusation of serious crimes will help build bridges. It's not how to 'win friends and influence people' as the book says. However, in the event of someone admitting to having committed serious sexual or other crimes, I'm sure there are procedures on the site for this. Link to post Share on other sites
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