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Mistaken for Dating


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Dedicated to Baking

How do other people feel about being mistaken for being in a romantic or sexual relationship? This hasn't often happened to me personally, but when I'm reading a story and it happens to the main character it usually really skeeves me out.

For the most recent example, the main character is in her early teens and has a lot of male friends. She isn't at all interested in dating yet, but some of the other characters tease her about the boys or assume she must be dating one of them or crushing on them. I think the author's intention is for this to just be a running joke, but I tend to interpret this sort of thing as an aggravating obstacle that the character can never overcome. It's a horrible combination of assumption and gaslighting. 

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Ase of Spades

I honestly get kind of annoyed by it, though I haven't so much been "mistaken for dating" as I've been "stubbornly assumed to be dating no matter how many times I say it's not like that." I have a QP, and for the longest time people would insist our relationship was romantic and we (More specifically, me) were just in denial about being in love. It wasn't until he got a girlfriend that people finally backed off.

 

As an aromantic, I find nothing more frustrating than people who insist I'll find The One some day and fall in love eventually, and I'm too young to "give up" on relationships.

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I get this a lot with a very close female friend. In itself it doesn't bother me too much, since we are quite affectionate, but what really annoys me (and happens way too often) is people persisting to think we're dating/having sex despite being repeatedly told we're not. In some cases, these people have been told I'm asexual, which makes it extra annoying. In one, the individual knows that and has met my friends boyfriend (who is not me, to be clear). In one case it was my friends (now ex) boyfriend, but he was a tosser who for some reason viewed me as some kind of threat, so I'm not counting him as standard.

 

It irritates me in several ways. First, having to constantly correct people is just boring. Second, the idea that physical affection can only exist in a romantic/sexual relationship is just stupid. Second point one, the idea that physical affection between a man and woman can only exist in a romantic/sexual relationship is just stupid (particularly since one of the more common offenders is gay, which means they of all people should be able to understand non-sexual affection between genders). Third, the implication that we're lying when we say we aren't having sex. Fourth, the implication that asexuality isn't as legitimate as hetero-, homo- or any other sexual orientation.

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  • 5 months later...

This only happens to me only from people that I'm not out to and people that don't know that I'm already dating someone. It used to happen all the time with me and a bunch of my male friends at school, and it's like.....I only became friends with these guys a month ago, did we just skip the whole "let's get to know each other" phase to "hey f-in' date me you twat! I dunno anything about you and you are not attractive to me in any way but DATE ME!"

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