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Pondering romantic orientation


ReyGraves

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So for a long time I identified as demipanromantic. But recently I entered a queerplatontic relationship and while thinking about if I wanted to enter this type of relationship I started wondering if I was aromantic instead. 

 

Is there any way to really puzzle this out or is the answer to just wait and see what happens (I’m 18 so I haven’t really had much experience.)

 

I would like to have a boyfriend at some point (so maybe homoromantic instead of pan). I would like to go on dates and kiss and do coupley stuff. (My current QPP and I are more on the super best friend side. No kissing/dates.) But I know there’s a difference between wanting a romantic partner and the actual feelings. 

 

There were a couple of guys I thought I had a crush on. But I think I liked the idea of a relationship with them more than actually having feelings for them. My QPP is probably the only one that I’ve honestly felt distinguishably different feelings for (Everyone else is friend/family). 

 

So any advice or any terms you think apply?  

 

My partner is also questioning and is wondering similar things. She said she likes romance stuff but can’t picture herself in those situations. She’s also not sure what the difference between platonic feelings and romantic feelings. (A question from both of us: what are romantic feelings and what makes them different from platonic? (We know this might not be answerable)) She’s rather not think about ‘cause it distresses her. 

 

So any advice for her too?

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Hello! :cake:

 

Same thoughts as above, but I want to add that you might want to consider the term Cupioromantic too, which is aromantic but desiring a romantic relationship.

 

As for the difference between platonic and romantic attraction.. it's quite hard for me to explain and draw the line (despite being romantic myself lol) but romantic attraction is generally wanting to do things related to romance with a person or having a strong feeling of wanting to be intimate and close with them that is just.. different from strong platonic closeness. For me, platonic attraction is wanting someone as a close sisterly or brotherly companion. Romantic attraction is a different category entirely.

 

However, it's different for everyone! I wish both of you the best of luck in your endeavours :)

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