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Can't express affection?


Decipher

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I've never been in a relationship and it's not that I have no desire to be romantically involved with someone, it's just that I have problems expressing affection to others. Whenever people say "I love you" it's very uncomfortable for me to say it back, even if I do care about the person. It's uncomfortable for me to give kisses and hugs or show any type of affection even to family. It would be easier for me if I could say I have no desire or interest, but the thing is, I really want to be able to. I'm scared that if I'm in a romantic relationship in the future, I won't be able to express how much I enjoy being with them. It frustrates me that I can't express my affection without making me feel uncomfortably vulnerable. Sometimes I wonder if maybe when I find the right person, I'll be comfortable enough to able to show affection with ease. The idea of a romantic relationship makes me happy, but I've never really felt that way about anyone. I always felt like if I were to be in a relationship with someone, I would have to be really close to that person already. I've had a few "crushes" in the past (I'm not really sure if I could call it that though). Being around them made me really happy, but when it comes down to how I felt it was always more of a "I really think you're great, I alway's think about you, and I enjoy spending time with you and want to be around you more" type of feeling. Has anyone else had similar experiences? 

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10 hours ago, Decipher said:

I've never been in a relationship and it's not that I have no desire to be romantically involved with someone, it's just that I have problems expressing affection to others. Whenever people say "I love you" it's very uncomfortable for me to say it back, even if I do care about the person. It's uncomfortable for me to give kisses and hugs or show any type of affection even to family. It would be easier for me if I could say I have no desire or interest, but the thing is, I really want to be able to. I'm scared that if I'm in a romantic relationship in the future, I won't be able to express how much I enjoy being with them. It frustrates me that I can't express my affection without making me feel uncomfortably vulnerable. Sometimes I wonder if maybe when I find the right person, I'll be comfortable enough to able to show affection with ease. The idea of a romantic relationship makes me happy, but I've never really felt that way about anyone. I always felt like if I were to be in a relationship with someone, I would have to be really close to that person already. I've had a few "crushes" in the past (I'm not really sure if I could call it that though). Being around them made me really happy, but when it comes down to how I felt it was always more of a "I really think you're great, I alway's think about you, and I enjoy spending time with you and want to be around you more" type of feeling. Has anyone else had similar experiences? 

Wow... You've described exactly how I feel.  I'm glad there is someone out there who also understands the discomfort of affection.  I did not grow up showing affection neither and I try to be very mindful to reciprocate affection with friends and family to not insult them.  But internally I am very uncomfortable...

I have also not been in a romantic relationship with someone (though I am older). I'm pretty social around my peers, but if there is anything of romance involved I seem to come off as uninterested because of my discomfort with affection and emotional intimacy.  And of course I'm not one to flirt.  When I crush you pretty much said it: "I felt it was always more of a 'I really think you're great, I alway's think about you, and I enjoy spending time with you and want to be around you more' type of feeling."  If someone is interested in me, it always goes over my head and I don't notice until later on when I think back or if a person tells me directly. 

I am also afraid I will not be able to express my happiness of the other's company if I am in a romantic relationship.  It will be a challenge, but as long as the other person cares for me, I know they will understand this part of me eventually.  At least, I hope so.

 

Anyways, you are not alone!  I can definitely relate to everything you said...

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