JustanotherTobigirl Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 For those romantic asexuals still interested in relationships, does your partners looks still matter to you? They do to me. It seems like it should matter less as a sex repulsed asexual, but it is still important that I find my partner aesthetically attractive. (This question is inteaded to those who are sex nuetural or sex repulsed. ) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oldgeeza Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I tend to find I have to like the person for themselves rather than their looks, that said, I couldn't afford to be too fussy, I'm no looker myself 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ryan_ Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 For me it's a combination. All of the people I've liked have been pretty attractive (to me). However, they also have desirable personalities. That being said, I find them even more attractive after starting to like them. After stopping liking them, they aren't as attractive anymore. Does that make sense? But yes, for the most part, it matters to me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 To me it is still important that I find my partner aesthetically attractive. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fantastic Name Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 Eh, not really. I rarely find people aethetically attractive (only animals and things), so for me, personality trumps appearance every single time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 Yes you're right, it matters some. Although at 50 I don't have unreasonable expectations for a woman in my age range. I realize she can't look like a 23 year old pole dancer and I don't expect her to. Average looking is fine too if she is reasonable and has great personality traits. I guess we all seek someone close to our own attractiveness factor if peop!e were honest. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xenobot Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 Yes, but my tastes are unusual in some ways (ex: I have an aesthetic obsession with aquiline noses, like I wish I was kidding but while some people may be blown away by how beautiful someone’s eyes are, I’m like, “dat nose doe”). Being classicly beautiful or handsome does absolutely nothing for me. I find them to be very visually boring. I am much more drawn to people who are interesting looking. My first two childhood crushes were The Goblin King (Labyrinth) and Edward Scissorhands... the characters, definitely not the actors... so, yeah. Give me the freaks, the geeks, and the weirdos. I can feel romantically attracted to someone regardless of their looks, so obviously it’s not the highest priority or anything, but realistically speaking, it helps if I like their face. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 To some degree someone who looks bad is less likely to be a partner. That's because aside from cultural aspects, what we look for in a partner is someone healthy. So aesthetics will play a role in whether or not you chose them to be your partner, because if they're unhealthy then they're less likely to be able to provide the mutual support that is necessary for a happy relationship. As well as this aesthetics can also tell you about someone's likes and dislikes. If you like someone with a shyer personality (like me) then someone who is wearing flashy clothes and strutting about like they own the place is unattractive, but to people attracted to courage it could be extremely attractive. We go on stereotypes subconsciously in order to decrease the odds of finding an unsuitable partner. Just some food for thought...mmm food.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Epitaph Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I've never found anybody attractive looking before. Put two different pictures side by side and it means nothing to me. For my own safety however, I made a simple quota of guidlines to follow based not on looks but on physical health instead. I'm the kind of person who moves around a lot and does hard work, and if I have a partner, ideally, I'd hope that they aren't afraid of getting their hands dirty either, so they should be within reasonable shape and in good health. Besides, aesthetic beauty detoriates quickly. By the time I'm 40, 50 or 60 I'll look like a handbag that was left out in the sun too long. If I have a partner they'll probably look like a handbag too. Rather than mourning a loss of A E S T H E T I C I'd just be happy with somebody I get along with and who stayed in good health. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RandyR Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I personally don't care about looks, the only thing that has mattered to me so far is personality Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AussieIsAce Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 Yes because i dont want to hang around people who arent nice to look at. just cause your personality is great doesnt mean your unbrushed hair and dirty clothes is erased. you need to have good hygiene. everyone looks good if there hair is brushed and they brushed there teeth and have on freshly ironed clothes. nobody looks good if they didnt shower. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 3 hours ago, miettaisace said: nobody looks good if they didnt shower. Challenge accepted! The only person I've ever, truly been physically attracted to is my current partner - but I was attracted to his personality before I ever knew what he looked like, so riddle me that. It turns out he's super hot in addition to being super funny. Lucky me. =) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AussieIsAce Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 4 hours ago, Chimeric said: Challenge accepted! The only person I've ever, truly been physically attracted to is my current partner - but I was attracted to his personality before I ever knew what he looked like, so riddle me that. It turns out he's super hot in addition to being super funny. Lucky me. =) i dont know why ive been quoted here. no one looks good if they dont shower. have you ever seen a person who hasnt showered in 6 months?? have you seen how nasty someone can look. youre comments arent relevant at all to what ive said. there wasnt a challenge either...so there isnt anything to accept. plus your life and relationship dont matter in any way to the statement ive made. so dont go quoting people unless your statement is about what they are talking about. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AussieIsAce Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 @G0D check out what people are saying these days... rubbing relationships in my face thinking id care....when im clearly asexual and have no interest in a relationship. this is the self loathing and affirmation seeking shit that is kill me on this site. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Nope, doesn't matter. I'm not really capable of evaluating someone's physical appearance anyway unless I'm in a relationship with them already, and at that point they tend to be subjectively beautiful to me anyway regardless of how they objectively look. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 They do to me. A pretty face does often equal a healthy mind, or something. It's late and I need sleep. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mirari Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Looks matter to me to a small degree. As in, aesthetic attraction is a factor to whether I'll like someone, but compared to personality and intelligence it's a relatively small factor. Perhaps it's about 10% aesthetic and 90% emotional. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YarisMum Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Aesthetically speaking someone can look good to me but as soon as I learn more about them it changes. Someone "good looking" can turn ugly to me if they are bad drivers or horrible to people or if they are rude to cashiers or servers etc. And people who I never noticed before can turn "good looking" if they help someone for no reason, or follow the rules. (I have a black and white view when it comes to laws and social etiquette rules, like they push in front of someone). Is anyone else like this? It even sometime happens with celebrities, they play one role where they are jerks and I cant stand them afterwards (and vice versa). So I think initially, it plays a roll but who they really are is the bigger part. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sea Lemon Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 1 hour ago, miettaisace said: @G0D check out what people are saying these days... rubbing relationships in my face thinking id care....when im clearly asexual and have no interest in a relationship. this is the self loathing and affirmation seeking shit that is kill me on this site. It looks like 'Challenge accepted' was a joke in response to your post, while the next paragraph was a response to the question in the OP. No one's 'rubbing your face in' anything, so chill ----- Looks matter to a certain degree to me, but I think usually personality and how much I enjoy that particular person's company are a bigger factor. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elden Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 10 hours ago, Xenobot said: Being classicly beautiful or handsome does absolutely nothing for me. I find them to be very visually boring. I am much more drawn to people who are interesting looking. Very much this. I'm bad at distinguishing people, so they're more likely to get my attention if they're visually quirky or unusual enough to be memorable. Having said that, my actual romantic attraction is based solely on personality. I can find people aesthetically attractive, but that doesn't involve any romantic feelings and will immediately vanish if I find out they have bad personalities. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OakTree Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 It doesn't really matter to me, my aesthetic and romantic attractions don't cross over at all, it's all about the person's personality and sense of humour. However, as my self-confidence and body image aren't the highest, I'd never want be in a relationship who "looks like a God", as that would probably make me feel inadequate. I met my ex through a mutual online friend, and we didn't share pictures of ourselves for about 3 months, I fell for his personality not his looks. I've never understood why people are so caught up on what someone looks, personality and chemistry (doesn't have to be sexual chemistry BTW) are the main things, for me anyways. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nate-1234 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 It is a combination of looks and personality. I am only attracted to a certain aesthetic for each gender. For males they have to be very masculine. In other words they must be much taller and buffer than me. I am typically attracted to males with darker hair, medium-dark brown eyes, olive skin tone, and defined masculine faces. So, basically Middle Eastern or European. As far as personality goes I would want him to be intelligent, masculine and dominant yet kind and selfless. For females again they have to be very feminine inside out. In other words she has self respect, manners (does not burp in public etc.), is not aggressive and just exudes femininity. I typically am attracted to girls who are curvy and girls who are thin. They usually have dark hair, and medium-dark brown eyes, and pale skin tone. So, basically Asian or European. As far as personality goes I would want them to be feminine but not passive, intelligent, understanding and gentle. Those are the only two types that really attract me appearance wise. So, looks do matter a least a little because most people want a partner that they are physically attracted to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Not really because I'm not aesthetically attracted to men, so I don't really care how they look. When it comes to women I'm aesthetically attracted to 95% of them, so, for the exact opposite reason, I don't care how they look either. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 6 hours ago, Squirrel Combat said: A pretty face does often equal a healthy mind, or something. Yeah, that's how it works. You can tell a lot about a person's personality from how they look, but you can't determine anything from to what degree they are attractive. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bloc Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Looks matter mostly whom I am not attracted to: If they look like they do not care for themselves or the bodybuilder type. In general I believe I am more attracted by people looking at least a bit androgynous. However with women I am not sure, there are also feminine looking women I find attractive in some way. Generally: less makeup and no "sexy" clothing is better. I don't care if the clothes reveal much skin or are form fitting. I am just not attracted to people trying to be provocatively "sexy". However a cute smile can melt my heart. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Koto Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 On January 11, 2018 at 1:52 AM, Mirari said: Looks matter to me to a small degree. As in, aesthetic attraction is a factor to whether I'll like someone, but compared to personality and intelligence it's a relatively small factor. Perhaps it's about 10% aesthetic and 90% emotional. I completely agree with your percentile. My 10% aesthetic attraction is usually light haired guys with colored eyes and light skin (also Asian males). Even more so if they're geeky. XD 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laikaos Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 It's definitely a balance for me. I want to be aesthetically attracted to the person I am in a relationship with. It's odd because the first time I meet a person I could find them really aesthetically pleasing. But once a true relationship starts, I start to notice the asymmetry of their face and body. Kind of like Fray but attraction wise. If that makes any sense whatsoever. Looks matter to me. But a good personality makes the looks matter less. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I like cute dudes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 once I get attached to someone, they become the most beautiful to me, no matter how they look. at first, I just pay attention to looks in meaning that someone's style of clothing can sometimes say who they are. so I quite naturally pay attention to people from alternative cultures. but it's a separate thing I guess. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Euna Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 On 1/11/2018 at 12:52 AM, Mirari said: Looks matter to me to a small degree. As in, aesthetic attraction is a factor to whether I'll like someone, but compared to personality and intelligence it's a relatively small factor. Perhaps it's about 10% aesthetic and 90% emotional. Same here... 10% looks, 90% character/qualities. Maybe that will increase the chances of finding a soulmate.... a little bit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.