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Maybe I or we are just “picky”??


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After posting about sexual attraction and reading some awesome responses, it got me thinking a lot...

 

maybe some people are just very “picky” about who they are attracted to?! For example, some may find a whole lot of people sexually attractive, whereas others may have a “type” that they are attracted to. People who question their sexuality may just be more selective... thoughts?!

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It just seems a little too unlikely. Before I found out I was asexual I thought I was bisexual because I was romantically, aesthetically, and sensually attracted to a few males and a few females in my lifetime. That carried over as me being biromantic. So, given enough time you are bound to find people you are attracted to and with enough experience you can look back and see who you were attracted to (sexually, sensually, or romantically) to help figure out ones sexuality.

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While I do have aesthetic attraction to men and I do prefer guys with dark hair, eyes, etc., that's about it. Otherwise, I'm just not really interested.

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StartedWithAQuestion

I honestly think it depends on the person.  Some people may have a type and therefore be seen as picky, others might not.  As far as my attractions go, there are two women I've felt an attraction toward because of a bond formed on an emotional level over a long term timeframe without care for aesthetic attributes, and the two relationships I've been in I've been able to find a physical attraction "in the heat of the moment" but haven't really looked for anyone otherwise.

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16 hours ago, fuzzipueo said:

While I do have aesthetic attraction to men and I do prefer guys with dark hair, eyes, etc., that's about it. Otherwise, I'm just not really interested.

I agree with everything you said here besides the eyes. While I prefer brown or hazel eyes, I like them to be a medium shade because 1) I find it really attractive to see their eyes go from light to dark especially when I imagine me and a hypothetical crush being sensual 2) I can see his eyes dilate which I also find very attractive

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Attraction is not about "being picky". "To be attracted to sth/so" is a passive term for a reason :) one doesn't get to choose who they're attracted to.

 

(That being said, being picky is a good thing in my book.)

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crazypimpernelfan

I think anyone of any sexual attraction can be picky. So, no, I don't think asexuality has anything to do with being picky.

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Salted Karamel

Not to say that asexuals are "just super picky," but if you're so "picky" that you've literally never been attracted to anyone in decades of life on Earth as an adult, I think you can safely call yourself asexual without wondering if maybe that's incorrect because you could "just be super picky."

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SallyBlackwater

I don't think my lack of sexual attraction is due to being picky... I've had crushes (very few, I'll admit that) and while maybe having a desire to kiss and cuddle them, doing anything sexual with them never felt appealing....

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On 10/1/2018 at 12:10 AM, VConfused94 said:

After posting about sexual attraction and reading some awesome responses, it got me thinking a lot...

 

maybe some people are just very “picky” about who they are attracted to?! For example, some may find a whole lot of people sexually attractive, whereas others may have a “type” that they are attracted to. People who question their sexuality may just be more selective... thoughts?!

I stand by my choice of life partner as it brings quality in the long run. I therefore do not pick. I eat up and clean my plate before going for seconds or looking for dessert. 

To stay in the same kind of wording, then my wife is never hungry, never interested in opening the oven to get a sniff. I, on the other hand, are both tempted and could nearly always do with a little snack, but I keep waiting till proper dinner time. 

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EggplantWitch

I have still yet to run into anyone I've found sexually attractive in my almost 21 years of life, so maybe I am super picky. But in my opinion if I've still yet to find someone like that out of the thousands and thousands of people I've met and seen in my lifetime then I'm not really functionally any different than someone who is "genuinely" asexual.

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Everyone is picky. When we say straight people are attracted to the opposite gender it doesn’t mean they are attracted to everyone of the opposite gender. 

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