EldritchPriest Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 TMI warning. I'm not sure if I could call myself asexual. I believe I'm interested in bedroom activities but not with some unknown woman aka a hookup. I become interested in certain activities after I start developing feelings towards my partner. a few things to address: 1) I don't mean love when I say feelings; I mean when I form an emotional connection with said individual 2) I have jumped from relationship to relationship for reasons ill discuss further down. 3) I'm not sure if I am interested in bedroom activities 4) I do have urges (like many men): I just do not feel a urge towards random individuals. 5) I am only willing to engage in said activities after marriage I have anxiety, aspergers and a, I'll be honest here, fear of sexual intercourse. not fear of not being satisfactory. a fear of the act of having sexual intercourse. here's the kicker (and the reason I'm posting this topic): I did not have a urge to experience this with someone until the break up with the first person I could say I ever truly loved. so I'm wondering if my desires are because I'm wanting to experience the connection I felt with her (it wasn't a good or long relationship and I did the stupid thing of staying as her friend after the break up as well. I can go into more depth. just ask) or... something? oh and one more thing to clarify: though I did love her I did not feel sexual attraction to her Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Have you heard of demisexuality? That means you only experience sexual attraction after developing a close connection with someone. I'm not sure if that's what you are or not, but it might be worth looking into. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EldritchPriest Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 1 minute ago, TheAP said: Have you heard of demisexuality? That means you only experience sexual attraction after developing a close connection with someone. I'm not sure if that's what you are or not, but it might be worth looking into. I probably should have clarified earlier. I didn't feel sexual urges to her. I started feeling this after the break up. I'm wondering if its my minds way of coping? or something. really I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm asexual or this combined with the break up awakened a latent desire. though as I said I don't feel this attraction towards randoms etc etc etc Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rosol Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 have you had sex? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Sexuals don't want to have sex with randoms either, and most want there to be some kind of emotional connections (as you say, not necessarily love, but... something). What you're feeling sounds like a mixture of normal sexuality plus your Asperger's, and some version of wanting something because you can't have it? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EldritchPriest Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 21 hours ago, Rosol said: have you had sex? nope Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EldritchPriest Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 12 hours ago, Telecaster68 said: Sexuals don't want to have sex with randoms either, and most want there to be some kind of emotional connections (as you say, not necessarily love, but... something). What you're feeling sounds like a mixture of normal sexuality plus your Asperger's, and some version of wanting something because you can't have it? maybe? not really sure. pre breakup I felt no urges of this sort. post breakup I got lonely and I guess that's where this came from. maybe. probably. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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