Chim Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I've been having crushes all throughout my life, the kind where I'll find someone is cute or hot, but don't desire to be romantically involved with them. Is this a sign of being aromantic, or something else? It has been on my mind for a while. I can have a crush on someone, but not wanting it to be reciprocated. I also don't get the feeling of doing romantic things with someone. I can be touchy with my friends, but kissing, going on dates, even holding hands or hugging with someone who has feelings for me (or boys (the hetero ones) in general, even if they were my friends) makes me feel weird and uncomfortable. I think I don't want to have a relationship with anyone. I feel awkward knowing someone has been treating me in a non-platonic way and then tries to ask me out. I mean, I do enjoy reading or watching someone else's lovelife, but not wanting the same for me. I don't know what romantic attraction really means, but I just know that I can like someone without wanting to date them. Is what I'm feeling right now considered normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Apathetic Echidna Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Sounds fairly normal to me! Having the desire for a relationship is different from being aromantic though, which is based on attraction. Though the thing you say about not wanting reciprocation could be leaning towards one of the other spectrum terms, but if you haven't sorted what different attractions feel like for you working out labels can be very tricky, though no one needs labels if they don't want them. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentRose Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 I'm on the aro spectrum and I definitely relate to that... experiencing aesthetic attraction without romantic can be confusing. I remember telling my friend in highschool I had a "crush" on a guy, and she said I should ask him out, and I was thinking, "why? I'd rather just stare at him." That being said, as a probable aro I still desire a relationship and to get married someday. I love companionship, and the idea of having someone who I love in a platonic way and we put each other above everything is so nice. And don't worry about "normal". Whatever you want out of life or a relationship someday, if it makes you happy it's normal enough. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! First off, I noticed your avatar and name....always nice to have another ARMY here! We have a thread for BTS fans here. : )) It's possible you could be aromantic because of what you described. There are different types of attraction: romantic, sensual, sexual, platonic, emotional, aesthetic, etc. And it's perfectly fine to feel some of those forms but not others. So if you think someone is cute, that's aesthetic attraction, and you don't have to feel romantic attraction along with it. : ) Aromantic people may want a relationship (non-romantic, queerplatonic) or they may not--it all comes down to what you're comfy with. A term you might want to look into when it comes to not wanting reciprocation is "lithromantic" (also known as akoiromantic or aporomantic). But in general, there's all kinds of ways to identify, and there's nothing wrong with it! Take your time exploring. : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Ldlelee Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! What you're describing doesn't sound strange at all. Finding someone attractive and wanting to be in a relationship with them are two different things, but that can be really hard to distinguish. I think it's possible that you're on the aromantic spectrum, but it's up to you - and it's okay if you don't know yet. This is the perfect place to figure out where you fall. And like Kelico said, if you love BTS you should definitely consider checking out the thread. :] Link to post Share on other sites
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