the_rebecca Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 With my recent "oh hey, I'm ace" realization, my brain has been in a wonky jumpy place. Two nights ago, I had my first "sex dream." Well, when I say "sex", it went like this: Handsome man has a crashed car and I'm walking barefoot on the sidewalk. Handsome Man helps me avoid the glass and I off to take Handsome Man to my house nearby (which is my mother's house from when I was a kid, because dreams are weird?). I proceed to inform my sister and mother that I need them to leave the house or only occupy one half of the house because I want to have sex with Handsome Man. It was all very clean and logical, but no actual sex happened. Since I'm still home for the holidays, I asked my sister the next morning if she ever has sex dreams and if they're actually sexy-time-oriented. She (who is still a questioning demisexual) said she's had dreams where she's kissing girls before, but not much more than that. Before I go unapologetically quizzing my remaining siblings on their dream habits, I thought I'd check with you all! So! Are there any folks that have/haven't had sex dreams before? Or, given your orientation, what does that look like for you? My brain apparently is mostly concerned with the logistics. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Yeah, I've had sex dreams before, actually surprisingly often. But they're not really that nice mostly... Most of them are dreams of my having sex with people that I don't want to have sex with... Which is pretty weird TBH... Maybe it's my mind's way of reminding me how I miss having a girlfriend... Which ended over a year ago FFS (I really don't like my brain for this kind of thing) I've occasionally had pleasant sex dreams, but not very often, and I can't really think of any that I've had that I liked :/ Maybe I just don't like dreaming :/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_rebecca Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Just now, Baggage_warrior said: Yeah, I've had sex dreams before, actually surprisingly often. But they're not really that nice mostly... Most of them are dreams of my having sex with people that I don't want to have sex with... Which is pretty weird TBH... Maybe it's my mind's way of reminding me how I miss having a girlfriend... Which ended over a year ago FFS (I really don't like my brain for this kind of thing) I've occasionally had pleasant sex dreams, but not very often, and I can't really think of any that I've had that I liked :/ Maybe I just don't like dreaming :/ Right, it's like: What are you trying to tell me, Brain?? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 No, but I once had a dream that involved some serious cuddling in a train's diner car. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Just now, the_rebecca said: Right, it's like: What are you trying to tell me, Brain?? Kinda... It's actually really depressing for someone like me to be waking up in a bed alone XD (I won't go into details, but it's the cuddles and snuggles that I really miss, the sex stuff... To me it's like a rather enjoyable chore... Not because I like it, but because I have needs that I wish I didn't have :/) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I've had only two and both made me facepalm XD I wasn't taking part in either. it was only as if I was watching other people have sex. I've never had a dream where I have sex with someone or even just want to have sex. but I must say that pretty often I have dreams about women who want to have sex with me and I just run away from them because I don't want to do it with them. I've heard once that such kind of dreams somehow "proves" being an ace. not sure how true it is, though. maybe it relates to the fact that I basically have no sex drive Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HonoraryJedi Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I have had sexual dreams, but not often. When I have control of my thoughts, I never fantasize myself into sexual situations, but apparently my subconcious pulls that out once in a while. Those dreams have been rather awkward, unsurprisingly^^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I dream rarely enough as is, and the few dreams I remember never involved sex. The most intimate dreams I had purely involved platonic touch. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I've had about 5 in my entire life and only two or three involved me. Surprisingly, within the dream I like it but when I'm awake I don't have any desire to do anything sexual with either one of the girls I dreamt about (I know both of them irl, which is a bit weird). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I've had a few I think. They weren't pleasant dreams and made me uncomfortable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 1 hour ago, The Unknown Warrior said: I've had a few I think. They weren't pleasant dreams and made me uncomfortable. At what age? I fear this many happen to me...so far so good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 From early 20s until now (31). I wouldn't worry because it may never happen to you. Even if it does it's not something we can control so worrying doesn't help. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpACEd Out Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I've never had one. And I don't want to. If I do, though, I'd probably be more surprised than anything else. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I had one where someone tried to rape me and I started freaking out because whenever I punched him it didn’t affect him so that was rather terrifying. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_rebecca Posted December 29, 2017 Author Share Posted December 29, 2017 9 hours ago, Syrthia said: I had one where someone tried to rape me and I started freaking out because whenever I punched him it didn’t affect him so that was rather terrifying. My sister says she has this type of nightmare and it sounds horrifying 😖 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nate-1234 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 No. However, I had a dream where I was being molested by someone and another of me and my friend kissing. Those are the closest dreams I had to having a sex dream. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 I remember once having a dream about being naked in the bathtub with a girl I knew. It wasn't sexual, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Haze. Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 On 12/28/2017 at 10:34 PM, Syrthia said: I had one where someone tried to rape me and I started freaking out because whenever I punched him it didn’t affect him so that was rather terrifying. I've had more than one dream like this. I've also had panic-ridden dreams about forced martial sex. But I didn't fight back physically in them. So, just bad sex nightmares. No sex *dreams.* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 24 minutes ago, nate-1234 said: I had a dream where I was being molested by someone that kind of dreams happened to me, too. I might also call it "sex nightmares". 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nate-1234 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Just now, [noize:injekktion] said: that kind of dreams happened to me, too. I might also call it "sex nightmares". It was so scary. I think it was a man who was molesting me and my face was pressed up against a cold glass door. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 1 minute ago, nate-1234 said: It was so scary. I think it was a man who was molesting me and my face was pressed up against a cold glass door. aw. *hugs* sounds awful indeed 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nate-1234 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 25 minutes ago, [noize:injekktion] said: aw. *hugs* sounds awful indeed Yeah I was running away from this aggressive figure or man I guess and I almost made it out when I got to the door to leave but... Thank goodness I only had that dream once. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 I've rarely have sex dreams, though never willingly and I tend to wake up confused. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Antihero. Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Topi Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 On 29/12/2017 at 3:34 AM, Syrthia said: I had one where someone tried to rape me and I started freaking out because whenever I punched him it didn’t affect him so that was rather terrifying. I had one where I raped and then stabbed. I died from blood loss and only woke up in real life when I died in the dream. I could feel all the pain in my body and was totally dreached in sweat, my heart beating really fast and barely breathing. It was one of the worst nightmares I had ever. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Topi Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Besides the dream above, I also dreamt of me masturbating. Real sex never appeared in my dreams or if it did it was in a universe I created and it was never the real focus of the dream. The acts were also never really detailed, it was all blurry and I just infered that it was sex, by the situation. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 2 hours ago, Hazel_Elise said: I've had more than one dream like this. I've also had panic-ridden dreams about forced martial sex. But I didn't fight back physically in them. So, just bad sex nightmares. No sex *dreams.* 1 hour ago, Topi said: I had one where I raped and then stabbed. I died from blood loss and only woke up in real life when I died in the dream. I could feel all the pain in my body and was totally dreached in sweat, my heart beating really fast and barely breathing. It was one of the worst nightmares I had ever. I did not realize so many people had these kind of dreams. Now that I’m rethinking it, mine was more of a nightmare/ night terror. Hugs to you guys! 🤗 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Sure. It's not a particularly common occurrence for me, I can't really remember them (I keep a dream journal, but I only put down dreams I actually found interesting) and they never were very "fun". My brain conjures up lot's of shit when I'm dozing. Living in the DPRK, cabinets full of fingers, possessed bottles of shampoo, parking lots with cars set ablaze, precognitive visions of house fires or ship wreaks, hovering just a few inches above the ground, journeys through a flooded earth, and the list goes on. Come to think of it I think I have far more dreams of everyday life in foreign lands than I've ever had of sex, but that isn't saying much. I don't think much of it. Sexual dreams used to really cause me distress, but now they're just kind of boring. So I guess that's cool. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I’ve had a few; some distort into terrible nightmares where I’m killed cause my subconscious really likes presenting me with dreams about me dying. But, in the more positive dreams, I’m pretty dazed and euphoric; I don’t really feel like myself. It’s almost like I’ve get hit with laughing gas or something cause everything tends to get fuzzy and floaty. Even though I’m likely aro ace, some of the dreams seemed rather nice in the moment. I’m not really repulsed by romance or sex so it’s not really distressing. It just feels weird cause I don’t have any real world experience to compare the dreams to. I almost think my subconscious exaggerates the experience cause it has no way of knowing what it feels like. 🧐 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_rebecca Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 On 12/30/2017 at 8:21 PM, Laplace said: I’ve had a few; some distort into terrible nightmares where I’m killed cause my subconscious really likes presenting me with dreams about me dying. But, in the more positive dreams, I’m pretty dazed and euphoric; I don’t really feel like myself. It’s almost like I’ve get hit with laughing gas or something cause everything tends to get fuzzy and floaty. Even though I’m likely aro ace, some of the dreams seemed rather nice in the moment. I’m not really repulsed by romance or sex so it’s not really distressing. It just feels weird cause I don’t have any real world experience to compare the dreams to. I almost think my subconscious exaggerates the experience cause it has no way of knowing what it feels like. 🧐 I feel the same way, my brain is assuming emotions and scenarios and when I’m awake I’m just shrugging at my subconscious haha also! I’ve had dreams where I die, but most people I’ve talked to in my family/friends say they always wake up before the death part or that they don’t dream of dying ever. Strange! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.