Hey all

[duh1011]

Hey so just to begin with, this is still pretty hard for me. I’m already someone who does not fit in with societal norms already, and I’ve come to peace with that fact loooong ago. All I needed were a few friends to get me through life and that’s that. However, ever since I’ve been thinking about where my sexuality lies and why I’m more uncomfortable about it with people it’s had me feel uneasy. I know for sure now that I’m asexual, but it just gives me such an uneasy feeling every time I think about it. It’s something that’s shunned by most people, yet it’s something I can’t help and is partially tied to past trauma. I’m hoping that by coming here I can start to come to terms with this fact, and figure out what it means for my life moving forward. Now I think I’ll post an abridged version of my story, since reading other ones have helped me and I hope this can help someone else. 

 

The thoughts that I might be different in terms of sexuality started with my last relationship. My girlfriend at the time was constantly pushing to have sex, which is understandable for young people like us. I thought I’d be all for it since it’s that thing that everybody brags about doing all the time. However, when it came time to do anything sexual I just wasn’t into it. I found my girlfriend attractive and all, I just couldn’t bring myself to enjoy any of it. After we had broken up, I got to thinking about this part of my life more and more. I was wondering why it was getting so difficult to get turned on, especially when it comes to real people and not just porn. I think my realization came in two parts the other day. The first was when I was watching porn again. During the scene, my mind drifted and I imagined what it would be like to be the person in the scene. Not only did I feel uncomfortable about it, it just didn’t appeal to me at all. I didn’t piece this together until last night at work, while I was stocking shelves. It’s such a boring task that it always gives me time to think. My mind wandered to the night before and why I felt that way, and then it clicked. Id been wondering if I was asexual for a few months now, and that moment was when it was confirmed to me. Not only am I completely disinterested in doing sexual things with anybody, but due to things in my past it also makes me pretty uncomfortable. So after that I went to the internet to see if there was anybody I could talk to, and so I found my way here. 

[TheLastOfSheila]

Thanks for the post, duh1011.  Welcome to AVEN ~

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

[Lichley]

Welcome! The good thing about asexuality is it comes with such a wonderful community of open-minded people. It's a collection of a variety of people from all over the world come together to discover the complex natures of sex and romance, and honestly just the most caring place I've ever been. If you're having trouble feel free to ask, we're all happy to help you