My identity

[SpaceExplorer]

So I'm posting here in an effort to both educate myself and understand my sexuality.

 

So I would like to hear people's opinions on this, but I understand that the only person that can define you is yourself. 

 

So, I've been feeling confused about my sexuality because I find people attractive, like facial features, and, I hope this isn't too much information, but I do get aroused, BUT the thing is, I don't like sex. Or at least the idea. And I rarely look at someone and think "dang, they have a nice body", or something to that effect. Every time I've gotten to that stage in a relationship(where intercourse comes into play) it made me very nervous, and uncomfortable. I do want to clarify that anytime I got that intamte with someone, it was consensual and I was completely comfortable with my partner, so that's not why I was uncomfortable. 

 

I'm just curious about anyone's take on this. Would you consider this asexuality? 

 

[Kururin]

Off the bat, the first attraction you're feeling is aesthetic attraction. That means you admire their appearance because... they look quite dapper. 

 

Now, most aces do have sex/masturbate/watch porn to take care of their libido, to take care of their partner, to pass time because idk. Some have fantasies, some do not. Some are sex positive or don't feel like sex is disgusting at all. They just feel like it's not a thing that absolutely have to do. At the end of the day, asexuality is to have no, or lack of, sexual attraction. 

 

Now, I'm sex replused because I can't really look at people naked like that so it makes me rather anxious amd uncomfortable. I also wouldn't like the feeling of something or someone touching my privates (or penetration.. ouch). I would feel rather invaded and very, VERY distressed. I don't like anyone going into my personal space like that. 

[MrDane]

19 minutes ago, SpaceExplorer said:

So I'm posting here in an effort to both educate myself and understand my sexuality.

 

So I would like to hear people's opinions on this, but I understand that the only person that can define you is yourself. 

 

So, I've been feeling confused about my sexuality because I find people attractive, like facial features, and, I hope this isn't too much information, but I do get aroused, BUT the thing is, I don't like sex. Or at least the idea. And I rarely look at someone and think "dang, they have a nice body", or something to that effect. Every time I've gotten to that stage in a relationship(where intercourse comes into play) it made me very nervous, and uncomfortable. I do want to clarify that anytime I got that intamte with someone, it was consensual and I was completely comfortable with my partner, so that's not why I was uncomfortable. 

 

I'm just curious about anyone's take on this. Would you consider this asexuality? 

 

If you, as a grown person, never feel desire to have sex, even while being comfortable about your partner and even dont like the idea, then that is the description that fits an asexual.

 

Next step is to find out, what that means when you are in/enters a relationship. My advice for the sake of the future: be open and honest about your feelings about sex. Dont promise more than you are actually willing to try to keep. 

[Aurinko]

Asexuality = not hungering for people of any type sexually.

[Lichley]

There is lots of types of attraction. You seem to have describes aesthetic attraction. Asexuals can have a libido, and sexual fantasies but they are not "targeted" fantasies, they are simply there to deal with the excess hormones. If you're not sexually attracted to anyone then you are asexual.

 

[Aceyace93]

Yeh I would say that qualifies as being asexual, especially being uncomfortable during sex. Another question you can answer is, if your partner didnt push you to have sex would you initiate it yourself? If no, then the situation is more clear.

[SpaceExplorer]

4 hours ago, Aceyace93 said:

Yeh I would say that qualifies as being asexual, especially being uncomfortable during sex. Another question you can answer is, if your partner didnt push you to have sex would you initiate it yourself? If no, then the situation is more clear.

Okay, that's an interesting question because I've never thought about that. With my first partner, I initiated, but then when it actually came time, I realised how uncomfortable I was with being exposed and all that. After that I've never really felt the need to have intercourse, and actually, I've noticed that when I'm in a relationship my libido drops. So I'm not sure if I would actually initiate now. At least I don't feel the need to push further than cuddling or making out with partners I've had

[SpaceExplorer]

21 hours ago, Kururin said:

Off the bat, the first attraction you're feeling is aesthetic attraction. That means you admire their appearance because... they look quite dapper. 

 

Now, most aces do have sex/masturbate/watch porn to take care of their libido, to take care of their partner, to pass time because idk. Some have fantasies, some do not. Some are sex positive or don't feel like sex is disgusting at all. They just feel like it's not a thing that absolutely have to do. At the end of the day, asexuality is to have no, or lack of, sexual attraction. 

 

Now, I'm sex replused because I can't really look at people naked like that so it makes me rather anxious amd uncomfortable. I also wouldn't like the feeling of something or someone touching my privates (or penetration.. ouch). I would feel rather invaded and very, VERY distressed. I don't like anyone going into my personal space like that. 

Okay. I do have a libido, but I've never had the desire to handle that with another person.

[James121]

On 17/12/2017 at 6:57 AM, SpaceExplorer said:

So I'm posting here in an effort to both educate myself and understand my sexuality.

 

So I would like to hear people's opinions on this, but I understand that the only person that can define you is yourself. 

 

So, I've been feeling confused about my sexuality because I find people attractive, like facial features, and, I hope this isn't too much information, but I do get aroused, BUT the thing is, I don't like sex. Or at least the idea. And I rarely look at someone and think "dang, they have a nice body", or something to that effect. Every time I've gotten to that stage in a relationship(where intercourse comes into play) it made me very nervous, and uncomfortable. I do want to clarify that anytime I got that intamte with someone, it was consensual and I was completely comfortable with my partner, so that's not why I was uncomfortable. 

 

I'm just curious about anyone's take on this. Would you consider this asexuality? 

 

How many times have you had sex?