I can't accept my identity

[March]

This is gonna be a bit short because I don't think there's really a lot to say about this, so here it is:

I know I feel female, but also NB somehow. I'm ok with people calling she/her or they/them. I think the term for this is demigirl, and for me this is pretty set in stone, I understand that's how I feel, but I just can't accept it. It's like it bothers me a lot for apparently no reason at all. It's like my problem isn't exactly in being a girl, but in being cis. But I can't change that, I know I feel partially female.

Sorry if I did anything wrong, this is the first time I post here.

[Moonchaser]

Speaking as an older person (61), it feels to me as if these labels/identities aren't and probably shouldn't be as important as we once thought they were. I'm definitely a cis-female, and I grew up in a world where there were fairly distinct lines between male and female, masculine and feminine, and what was expected of each gender. Things have changed since then, a lot.

 

The interesting thing is, though, I never really thought when I was young about what it meant to be female. I just was, and back then there really wasn't anything else for me to be. If I had questioned my gender (and I'm not saying no one did back then, but it was usually a very private matter), I guess what I first would have thought is, well, what is female? But more importantly, what is female to me? What does it mean to me? My answer back in the 1960s would have been different than it is today.

 

For people growing up later, coming of age now, those answers are going to be a lot different, I think. That's okay, isn't it? It seems to me your identity should be what you feel most comfortable with. It's all about you.

[March]

26 minutes ago, Moonchaser said:

Speaking as an older person (61), it feels to me as if these labels/identities aren't and probably shouldn't be as important as we once thought they were. I'm definitely a cis-female, and I grew up in a world where there were fairly distinct lines between male and female, masculine and feminine, and what was expected of each gender. Things have changed since then, a lot.

 

The interesting thing is, though, I never really thought when I was young about what it meant to be female. I just was, and back then there really wasn't anything else for me to be. If I had questioned my gender (and I'm not saying no one did back then, but it was usually a very private matter), I guess what I first would have thought is, well, what is female? But more importantly, what is female to me? What does it mean to me? My answer back in the 1960s would have been different than it is today.

 

For people growing up later, coming of age now, those answers are going to be a lot different, I think. That's okay, isn't it? It seems to me your identity should be what you feel most comfortable with. It's all about you.

Thank you. I had the feeling I was overthinking this a bit. Now that I think about it,  some things are feeling simpler in a way. Maybe this feeling that I had that I thought meant to be female is something else. Sometimes I rush things a lot and just forget that I still have time. The problem is that even if I tried to choose an identity for myself, no matter what, there would still be a part of me insisting that there is something wrong. It's like something I can't control.