kronk Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Ivé never truly experienced attraction towards another person, nor have I ever wanted sex. The thought alone makes me feel disgusted. The problem is, very few people seem to understand and even respect this. I really want a relationship just without the sex. But every time I meet a potential partner they can´t seem to understand/respect how I feel. It´s gotten to the point where I almost automatically turn people down because I know "leading them on (trying to explain how I feel) will only lead to bad feelings. I feel dysfunctional. Sometimes i wish i´d just be "normal" like everyone else and be able to fall in love. I feel lonely, I feel like I miss someone in my life, and I don´t know how to fill that void. Sometimes I´m scared that I´ll never be able too. My biggest wish is to get comfortable enough around someone, to hug and generally touch them (in a caring, non-sexual way). But I´m so afraid of people getting the wrong idea because it´s happened SO many times. I´ve become afraid of physical interaction. I just don´t trust people to respect my limits anymore. They always seem to want more. I don´t blame them, i really don´t but it certainly doesn't make things easier for me. Anyone else feel something similar? Btw i don´t mean to be a Debbie Downer, i just had to explain it exactly as i feel Link to post Share on other sites
KikiroQ9 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Hello!! Just came to leave a comment because I feel the same.. I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction to people, and just like you I kind of feel disgusted at the idea of sex. I broke up with a partner because of similar reasons to you. I totally understand how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Hugs are great I dislike it when people sexualize everything Link to post Share on other sites
nimbus Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Yes, I'd like the same things. I'd like to be able to hug, cuddle, and snuggle with someone without any pressure to go further toward sex. Physical intimacy is nice but I'm cautious about initiating touch with anyone because I don't want to seem like physicality is the main thing I care about. Mostly, I'd want a sense of mutual love and care, to know that somebody out there wants to be with me and likes me as I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 4 hours ago, kronk said: My biggest wish is to get comfortable enough around someone, to hug and generally touch them (in a caring, non-sexual way). But I´m so afraid of people getting the wrong idea because it´s happened SO many times. I´ve become afraid of physical interaction. I just don´t trust people to respect my limits anymore. Exactly! Thank you! I love hugs, but I don't want people to think I'm into all that dirty stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 @kronk I feel the same way! Except I never try to be in a relationship because I don't know how to start or anything. It's partially because I look really young for my age. Also partially because I'm too focused in my school work to give that want a second thought. Another thing is I don't want kissing either, so that's probably a deal breaker for most people. I'm also terrified of being coaxed into sex to please someone else. I find the thought gross and don't want myself anywhere near it. Link to post Share on other sites
RobPal Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I came to AVEN tonight to post along similar lines. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand I love being on my own with no pressure for intimacy of any level. The independence and freedom is so important to me.... However, on the other hand I sometimes feel that it would be nice to have a partner in some circumstances, as well as having a child to raise along with the commanilities built with my immediate family and friends who are almost all married with kids now. Another catch 22 is similar to what others have mentioned, with not wanting to lead anyone on by being too chummy, so instead seeming cold, unfriendly and maybe quite weird. This puts me in very much a limbo place where there's no good choice to make. Link to post Share on other sites
TheNerdyOne Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 @kronk I feel you on all those points. I've started feeling a little bit better about it recently, but I too wish for a non sexual relationship in the future. I'm not sure I feel as afraid of not finding a guy who'll love me as I am anymore, but sometimes I still feel broken and wrong about myself. The whole perception of asexuals being "dysfunctional" can really make you feel even more weird, alone, and unlovable. I hope you're able to find the relationship you want someday, as do we all Link to post Share on other sites
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