Am I ace? Am I pan? Am I something in between?

[Scytale]

Hello. I'm sorry if this is a topic that's been previously addressed, I'm new to this forum and I'm just trying to figure some stuff out. I find people of any gender to be beautiful, I love to look at them, and I find them interesting. I often have dreams about sex with people I find beautiful. I have a libido and I enjoy sex, but I'm not sure I really feel something I could call sexual attraction. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, he's basically my best friend, and I think he's gorgeous, I enjoy having sex with him, but I don't know if I can say I feel a sexual attraction to him. I'm just really confused, and I feel kind of guilty at the idea that I can't be attracted to him in the same way he's attracted to me. Again, I'm sorry if this seems silly, or if I should be going somewhere else for this. I just came out of a situation where the idea of being anything other than straight was out of the question.

[Shadowstepper]

Doesn't seem silly at all. There are many different opinions on what is considered "sexual attraction", and no one that I've seen has ever been able to describe it in a way that others can base what they feel on it.

 

If you don't think you feel it, then you may not.

 

There are plenty of us that have "aesthetic attraction", meaning we like the way people look, but aren't sexually attracted to people.

 

And plenty enjoy sex with our partner.

 

I advise reading around and seeing the various descriptions people give of how they react/interact with others and see if that shines any light on how you feel.

[Scytale]

Thank you for your reply Shadowstepper. I've been doing some reading and I definitely intend to read more. It's been difficult confronting and sorting out all of my feelings, but reading about people's personal experiences and how they define things has definitely helped. It's very reassuring to know that others feel what I feel.