just figured it out

[orthohawk]

Hi, all! I'm Dmitri, a 56-year-old, Eastern Orthodox Christian from Iowa City, Iowa, USA. I identified as gay for most of my adult life and had heard the word "asexual" for a long time but never really thought about it much until a friend, after seeing my date ad profile, said "Sounds like you're asexual' and I started investigating. So, after some thought and introspection, I decided that if pressed to put a label on it, I'd say I'm a homoromantic (definitely), grey ace/demisexual (depends on the day but mostly grey ace). I like sex fine, but, really, only as a means to relieve sexual tension/arousal......at least, while it's happening (I, uh, "go solo" most of the time....sorry; is that TMI?) otherwise I'm definitely more of the "meh, whatever" attitude. I mean, it's messy, it complicates things, and many people read way too much into it (well, it seems that way to me)

I'm mostly a one-man kinda guy, looking ideally for a romantic or committed platonic relationship. I'm a big time cuddler. Kissing is really limited to a peck on the lips at most (or cheek or hand, etc)

I'm retired, on disability due to health reasons and fill my time with reading, TV, facebooking, and linguistics/conlanging, among other things.

Oh, and for all you Potterheads out there, I'm a Hufflepuff with Ravenclaw tendencies (but not enough to call myself a full-on Huffleclaw)

[Lichley]

Welcome! Sexual arousal doesn't necessarily mean sexual attraction, as you can have a libido without sexual attraction, it's basically the same thing but without a "target" for those feelings.

Woo linguistics! I'm studying French  

Also - Ravenclaw  

[Adamjonuk]

I agree - I think the male body in particular needs the pipes cleaned, so every so often my brain gets signalled it's time to "go solo" it doesn't take long, feels ok for 5 seconds at the end, but is simply a need more than desire for me.

 

That's my take on it so yes arousal does happen but there is certainly no need for another person to complicate the equation 🙄

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!