Seeking help with what I should do please

[Jinx115]

Well all year I have been told by my friends that they think I am an aromatic asexual and not to long ago I looked it up and found it described me well but I dont know if im old enough(nearly 15) to identify myself as it or even ko=now what I am. Have been told a few times its just a stage but I dont know. I have felt this way for a while. I thought I have had crushes on peoplebut they have never wanted to date them or do anything like that. 

 

Recently I was asked out and said yes out of panic of not knowing what to do and thinking this person was a nice guy and has a bit in common with me. We havnt done anything and I dont want to I am feeling a bit sick and uneasy just thinking about that stuff. even knowing im with someone doesnt feel right at all. I dont like people like that. Its been in a less romantic way like in the way I dont really want to go out with them.

 

This is the first time I have gone out with someone and it seems weird to me. The idea of the stuff the movies and books say always seems wrong for me and doesnt interest me at all.  I dont desire what I see in public from couples or in movies/books. 

 

I dont want to hurt his feelings as he is one of my giid friends so I dont know what to do.......Please help me if you can, i dont know what to do right now

[LettACE]

you're not too young to identify yourself, if you know what it is and feel that youre ace/aro then you are, and if it changes later down the road then thats fine too. 

 

as for your friend, i would tell him how you feel, tell him that you were a bit surprised and flustered when he asked, but now that you've had time to think about it, you just want to be friends. If he really is a good guy, he'll understand

 

I wish you the best of luck in all that you do 

[Amber79]

Hi,

Welcome to Aven . At 15 You are old enough to know who and what you are are. As long as you emember that things MAY change and don't box yourself, it's important to be open to future poosabilities. However, there are a lot of people here on Aven who knew at a young age. Don't force yourself to be someone else or do things you think you're supposed to do just because it's expected of you. You can do a lot of damage to yourself that way. As LettACE says, be as honest as you can with the guy you're dating. It's not fair on either of you to carry on dating.

Take plenty of time looking around the forums on here, you'll find plenty of people on here who are like you. Good luck.

[Starlit Sky]

You're fifteen. Many things stay the same, and many things change. I believe you are old enough to declare what sexuality you are. After all, if you were saying that you liked girls, majority of people wouldn't bat an eye. The important thing is that you may one day realize that your sexuality and romantic orientation will develop, and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as you keep that in mind, I think you're set. It's my personal opinion that it's kind of silly to match a description to a T and feel that you are something, but hold yourself back from identifying as such based solely on your age.

 

One time a guy in the group I was in during high school asked me on a date for Valentine's Day. It was easily one of the most awkward things I've ever been in (and I've had awkward stuff happen). I was so surprised that I said, "Uh, sure" . . . and then no less than five minutes was like, "Uh, actually, I'll be doing something else that night. . . ."  I think it was easier for me, not only because he and I weren't really friends, but also because I retracted myself immediately. It really is a hard little situation, and it's probably going to be awkward for awhile, but if the friendship truly is strong it will survive. You can always tell him you're just really, really not looking for a relationship right now, and you'd rather just stay as friends.

[Kururin]

I found half of my sexuality at 13 so I think it's not too early! I'm 16 now, and I don't see myself changing anytime soon. 

 

However, like everyone else is saying: If he really is a good friend, then he will be understanding enough. Tell him that you really just still see him as a friend early on and go thanks, but no thanks. It's wouldn't be fair on you both

[MrDane]

Hi @Jinx115

there is a tendency on Aven to be quick at offering a membership to the club. Sometimes being a teenager is just to feel awkward and misplaced and not-fitting and torn between who you feel you are and what you are “supposed” to be. A lot of teenagers waddle between worrying about having a disease, never getting a girlfriend, super idealistic ideological viewpoints like saving animals before humans, never wearing blue colours again and ‘do my nostrils look odd?’

if you dont feel like doing what a lot of the other guys do, then just say that and accept that some people dont understand. I dont think it will be easier to claim to be aro ace. Just say that touching makes you uncomfortable and so on.

[Shan1127]

I'm 15 and I've known for a loonnngggg time I was ace, even before I knew what to label it.  What I will say is don't rush to label yourself you have plenty of time to figure out who you are. Only label yourself once you're comfortable with it and know that it suits you not just think. Age isn't a factor and everyone's experience is different. Feel free to message me if you ever need advice because I've been where you are.