In my first relationship now...

[Gracywoo]

Hello all  I'm a 32 year old female, my partner is a sexual man. We started going out one and a half months ago. I told him about my sexual orientation but I feel he hasn't been taking it seriously. Right now we're still in the kissing and touching upper body stage. Atm I identify myself as demi-sexual, but I'm not sure.

 

I always thought I was normal. There were heterosexual crushes during school days, I learned to masturbate from biology lessons and got aroused from porn. So when I first stumbled onto the term asexuality I quickly discarded the possibility, little did I know there were more nuances in such a simple word.

 

Years passed, I remained single, the "crushes"became non-existant. At first I thought it was due to my shy nature and awkwardness, but after an experimental half one night stand, I decided there was more into this.

 

Last year I delved deeper in this term, and thanks to this site, I realised these "crushes" were squishes, that you can be asexual even if you watch porn and masturbate. For all my squishes, I never desired to have a sexual relationship, masturbating was something that felt good, and as for porn, I couldn't imagine me doing all those things. Bodies can be aesthetically pleasing, and I admire beautiful people, maybe even get intimidated by them, but that's all there is.

Afterwards I prepared myself mentally to remain happy single for life. I was glad I found fellow asexuals, that I wasn't weird.

 

Fast forward to present days. Met a guy, I felt we had a good connection, he was reliable and such a gentleman. In short, good husband material. I was also very lonely and didn't have any true friends I could speak my heart out. So when he hinted to a deeper relationship I agreed, not sure whether there was romantic love involved or not, but I'd be happy to grow old with him. He's the first person I ever met I feel I can tell my darkest secrets and he always tries to get the best out of me. He's a wonderful man. I enjoy being with him, enjoy cuddling and kissing and of course my body reacts when he touches me. I seek more physical contact with him in order to share a deeper connection. However I do not feel any sexual desire for his body. When I touch him I copy him and try to make him feel good because I find happiness in him feeling pleasure, just like I enjoy making him laugh. I don't reject the idea of us getting more intimate in the future. But if one day he tells me we cannot have sex, I'd be fine with just kissing and cuddling as well. 

 

So that was my story in a nutshell, pleased to be finally part of this forum

 

 

 

 

 

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

[Lichley]

Welcome! I'm sorry to hear that he's not very understanding of your orientation, but I'm sure he'll come to understand with time