23F, Just discovered I'm asexual

[Chilii]

Hello. my name is Chilii,

 

I feel like either i'm slow or just very sheltered, as I only discovered a few days ago that I am asexual.

I always assumed I was straight,  because I've had crushes on guys throughout my life. I've even had sexual relations and saw it as a guarantee that I was straight.

I never questioned about this "alien" sexual attraction as I never experienced it. I don't think sex was even a topic I had interest in to question my sexuality, I just thought it was inappropriate and quite vulgar to discuss. I also had this bias that women were not sexual, (to not think about sex nor want sex at all) going from my own experiences.

 

It's only recently I have questioned my sexuality, as my friends would point out from my statements that: "women do seek out sex too". It took a few times to realise that maybe it was just me who isn't interested. I also recall in the past that I would say, "If I don't have sex for the rest of my life, I wouldn't care. It's not something i desire". My friends only recently discussed to me that they thought that this statement was "odd", but they didn't play on the idea as they are very accepting.  This thought played on my mind, when I started questioning my sexuality. Finally the thing which blew my mind, was the description of what sexual attraction was like. When I heard about it, I was confused and shocked. Shocked to think that those sorts of thoughts occurred in people's minds. Confused that I've never experienced such a thing.

 

After a bit of research online, I came to the conclusion that I am a heteroromantic asexual . I think I cried for a few moments. I felt broken, like I was missing something everyone else seemed to have. Worried that no one would want me. Also I felt very alone, after reading that supposedly 1% of the population the UK are asexual.

 

Its been a few days since coming out. And honestly, the more I look into asexuality, the more I feel proud about it. Although i am a minority, I am still me and there is nothing wrong with it. 

 

I decided to join this forum with skepticism. I'm not sure how I feel about joining a community but at the same time I would like to meet people like me, so I am giving it a go.

 

I am sure you guys are wonderful, and I look forward to discovering more about being asexual and the community. 

 

 

[TheAP]

Welcome!  I'm glad you're starting to realize that there is nothing wrong with you.

 

[RottenInDenmark]

Welcome!!  

First of all, awesome name'! and second, great to have more people joining who are having the same realization that the person they are, and what they define with, is something to wear with pride. 

Hope you'll have a wonderful time. have some cake  and hugs 

[Lichley]

Welcome fellow Brit! Asexuality is unfortunately not very well known to the general population, and it's very rare for people to encounter accurate information on asexuality in their daily life. But that's why we have meetups so that like minded individuals can meet up and share some cake. Speaking of which, enjoy some welcome cake  

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

[Duke Memphis]

As an American, I feel like a fish out of water around my peers, but I know almost exactly how you feel. Americans tend to glorify anything lewd or suggestive, and I mean ANYTHING. Just pick a random episode of Family Guy to prove my point.

 

You're not broken. You're not alone. You're not missing anything important (in my opinion). Being ace definitely has its upsides, which you probably noticed when you started figuring yourself out. Everything will be fine as long as you're around good-hearted people.

 

And welcome to AVEN.